by Lila Felix
I moved in slower because I wanted to make sure I remembered this moment in case she ever figured out who I had been. I needed to keep this moment. My eyes had moved to her lips, which were opened the tiniest bit like a door opened to let me in. They flickered up to see her eyes on my lips. They met for just a second, just enough to make my entire body come to life. I pulled away, only an inch or two, and she cocked her head to the side and smiled. And then my innocent girl grabbed me by the front of my shirt and went for it.
And just when our mouths had found where they melted just right into each other I heard a deliberate clearing of a throat.
“Damn” I whispered and Nellie giggled.
We both turned our heads to see an older man shaking his finger at us but smiling at the same time. He was probably remembering when he got some library love.
She took a look at her watch and then started packing up as he finally left us alone.
“Am I that bad of a kisser?” I laughed at her.
“I have to go to work. I didn’t realize how late it had gotten. You were distracting me.”
“But it was a good distraction.” Way to fish for compliments dill weed.
She rolled her eyes at me but didn’t answer. She bent her legs and gracefully got up and pulled her skirt down a little making sure she was all covered.
I stood up with her to at least walk her out.
She leaned up against one of the shelves opposite me and groaned.
“Ugh, I’m never going to be able to study here again.”
She smiled as she said it.
“So when can I see you again?” I sounded desperate, but the truth was, I was already jonesing for our next encounter.
“I have work on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays and I have practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But we only have two more weeks of the season.”
“Hmmm—what time is practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”
“From six to eight.”
“Well, I don’t work. If I’m a good boy, which I usually am, my parents give me money to live on. So if you want to see me, just text me. And I’m going to think up some creative ways to see you in between your busy schedule.”
“Explain creative.”
“Nope.”
15. Nellie
I worked my regular shift and went home to rest. When I got there Amber wasn’t home again. Poor Owen. I wondered how girly it would be to text him and see where he was.
N: U ok?
O: Y,u?
N: Y, where r u?
O: Sleeping
N: Where?
O: Bronco
N: I got a couch with ur name on it.
O: U sure?
N: Def.
O: On my way.
I hurried to take a shower and put some other clothes on before he got here. I was starving so I ordered Chinese and lots of it. I also took out some sheets and blankets and pillows and stacked them on the edge of the couch. The Chinese food got to the apartment before he did and I did a little ‘Ha Ha’ in my head since I got to pay for the food this time.
I got plates and forks out and some bottles of water. I hadn’t had time to do anything to my hair except to comb it out. I was only wearing purple sweat pants and a white fitted t shirt and zero make-up so I hoped I didn’t scare him to death.
He knocked on the door and every time I saw him I was amazed at how huge he was. Now I wasn’t sure if he would fit on my couch.
He smiled and stepped in with a bag. I closed the door and was going to ask him if he was hungry as if I didn’t know he was. Before I could he grabbed me under my arms, lifting me up, and held me to him. After a few seconds of shock I threw my arms around his neck and held on to him as tight as he was holding me. He kissed the side of my neck and whispered “Thank you” into my ear. I whispered “You’re welcome” back into his ear and made sure that my lips grazed his earlobe as I did. It amazed me that this little gesture could make this big guy shudder but it did. He was still holding me and I pulled back and held his face in my hands.
“Hungry?” I asked.
“Yeah, I will go get something. What do you want?”
“I want you to sit down and eat. I already got food.”
“Thanks, you didn’t have to.”
He slowly put me down and we sat at the table together to eat.
“I hope I got something you like.”
“I like anything. Don’t ever worry about that.” He laughed.
“Good.”
“You look different tonight.”
My heart sunk down in my chest. Oh, he thinks I look like crap.
“You’re not wearing makeup.” He was looking at me, scrutinizing me.
“Yeah, sorry, I just didn’t have time.”
He grabbed my hand across the table and squeezed my fingers to get my attention.
“Tonight is the most beautiful I have ever seen you. And I’ve been blown away by your beauty a couple of times already.”
He went back to eating as if he hadn’t said the most amazing thing I had ever heard.
I cleared my throat in an attempt to reel myself in and continued to eat. He didn’t say anything else and neither did I. I finished way before him and rested my face in my hands and truly enjoyed watching him eat.
He ate every last bite and I almost felt like clapping. He looked sheepish about the whole thing.
“So, if you want to get a shower, you can. I’ve got an early class tomorrow, so I have to get to bed. It’s ten already.”
“Ok, I’ll be quick.” He rushed to the living room to grab his bag and I heard the shower running soon after. I cleaned up the mess and readied the couch for him to sleep on.
He came out of my room wearing some gray pajama pants and a white t shirt. I tried not to stare, but I could see most of his tattoos and I could almost swear that there were some piercings under that shirt. One day I would either ask him about them or maybe if I was lucky, I would get to see them.
16. Owen
I trembled under the cold mist of the shower. I turned on the hot water at first but when I stepped in and remembered that this is where she showered, where she was naked, I turned the water to cold as quickly as possible. I hurried through it, not knowing how much longer I could stand there where she stood and smelling coconut all around me.
I got out and toweled off, even the towels smelled like her. I put on some pajamas that I went into the dorm to grab. Thankfully everyone was still dressed when I went to get them.
I walked out to the living room and she was laying out blankets for me to sleep on, as if she hadn’t done enough for me tonight already.
“You didn’t have to do that. You’ve done enough. Thanks again.”
“It’s no problem, really. And I would let you sleep in Amber’s bed, but there’s no telling how long that girl has gone between washing her sheets. She’s such a mess.”
“Anything is better than the Bronco. Trust me.”
“Good. Ok, I’m going to bed. Do you need anything else?”
“Nah, I’m good. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
I sat on her couch and then lay down, stretching my legs out. I heard her bedroom door open again, but didn’t know what to make of it until I saw her leaning over the back of the couch, smiling.
“I forgot something.” She said.
“What?” I asked.
“This.”
She leaned over further and kissed me. More than a peck but far shorter than what I wanted. But it was perfectly her.
“Ok, now I can go to sleep.” She said.
“Yeah, and now I can’t.” I said loud enough so she could hear me.
I heard her bedroom door close and before I knew it, I was out.
When I heard her bedroom door again it was morning already. The sun beamed through the kitchen window pointed its glow directly at my face.
I felt her sit on the edge of the couch next to me and run her fingers through the front of my hair.
“Owen, I’ve got to leave soon. Why don’t you go get in my bed and sleep some more. You look like a giant on a toothpick.”
“What time is it?” I croaked out.
“It’s a little after six. I have class at seven, but I’m going to get coffee first. What time is your first class?”
“Ten”
“Ok, so you can sleep almost three more hours. Come on.”
She tugged on me a few times before I finally relented and slouched into her room and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of my phone’s alarm going off from the other room. I went in and retrieved it and went back to her bed. I set the alarm for the latest possible time to wake up and went back to sleep.
My phone did its job and I went to get my clothes, got dressed and went to leave. There was an envelope taped to the door that read ‘Owen’.
I opened it and pulled out a key and a note.
Please lock up after you leave. You can give me the key back in American Lit.
Hope you slept well.
N
P.S. You don’t snore and you are sexy as hell in the morning.
I left and threw my bag in the Bronco before going to grab some quick breakfast and went to class. I had slept better those few hours in her bed than I had in weeks. How was I ever going to sleep right again?
17. Nellie
Concentrating on math was hard enough at seven in the morning. But trying to pay attention while I knew that Owen was sleeping in my bed was torture. Even when I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth, he had left his shirt in there and it smelled like him. It was all I could do to return it to his bag. I wanted to keep it. Hell, I wanted to use it as a pillow case.
Where did tough Nellie go? She disappeared on me and in her place is sappy Nellie. Nice.
Amber and I went for breakfast after Algebra. She wasn’t talking about last night and I wasn’t asking. I tried not to ask about these things. It seemed like when I finally got caught up and involved the relationship ended. So the best thing was for me to listen when she wanted me to and leave it at that.
We ate breakfast in silence and then sat together. We talked for a few minutes about shallow things. How my back was, how work was, things like that. And then she told me as she picked in her eggs that she slept with Dylan the night before. I wanted to tear her ass up for not even thinking about Owen and how uncomfortable that would make him not to mention left him without a place to sleep. But that’s who she was.
I opened my mouth to make a passive aggressive statement about her selfishness, but Dylan plopped into the seat next to her and I became invisible.
Not five minutes after he sat down, I got up and left. This was really getting ridiculous. I went to the library for a while and then made my way to American Lit when it was time. It was funny because I actually tried to get to class in time to get a seat next to him.
I walked in and paused by the door and saw him before he saw me. He was digging into his bag for something. I walked up five rows and sat next to him. He was still digging in his bag but he was smiling now. It was contagious and soon we were both smiling like goons.
I got my notebook and pen out and faced forward to get ready for the lecture. We had moved on to Tennessee Williams and I loved him too. I felt something being slipped into my hand and looked down to see Owen slipping my key back into my hand but this was no trivial act. It was slow and deliberate, his simple act made me want to take him into the empty hallway and do all the things I thought about doing last night, and this morning. He rubbed the back of his neck in my peripheral and I turned my head slightly to smile at him as I put the key in my pocket. He was blushing and it I swore it was more apparent than mine in the library the day before.
I would give organs to know what he was thinking about.
I stared forward trying my damndest to pay attention and failing. My fingers itched and I had to flex them and wring them with my other hand to make them cease their mission. My body had plans of its own regarding Owen. How much longer I was going to be able to control it, I didn’t know.
Class ended and we stayed seated while the masses filed out of the classroom around us. I got up and looked back at him. He was smiling up at me and I wondered if he knew the profound effect it had on me.
“You have time for lunch?” He asked.
“No, I have to go straight to work.” I answered.
“Ok, well, see you later.” He answered and stood up next to me.
“Yeah, ok.” I made my way out with him behind me in silence until we parted ways outside the building. He stopped walking but I didn’t stop. I didn’t want to be late for work.
Cindi was perky and loud today and proclaimed that Leah and I were getting paid through ten o’clock but that she was closing the store at eight. I was relieved as I didn’t get hardly any sleep the night before knowing that Owen was just steps away.
We closed up early, having to scoot and persuade the remaining customers out. One older lady didn’t want to stop reading the book she had so I told her it was my gift. It was an older paperback and we sold them for two dollars. I told Cindi I would pay her but she just laughed and said something about me loving the customers more than she did.
I went home to an empty apartment. I peeked into Amber’s room and she wasn’t there again. So this time I just called him.
“Hey” He answered quickly
“Are you having to stay out of your room?” I asked.
“No, I’m in my room. They went somewhere. I don’t know where.”
“Oh, ok, good. I just got in from work and wondered.”
“I’m fine. Thanks for checking on me.”
“Of course. Well, I’m gonna get showered and go to bed. I’ll see you when I see you I guess.”
“Goodnight Nellie.”
“Night.” I hung up the phone, showered and went to bed. I pulled the covers up around me and it smelled like his scent and mine mingled together. It was heaven.
I picked up my phone and texted him.
N: My bed smells like you.
O: I wish mine smelled like you.
N: Makes it feel like you are here with me.
O: I wish I was.
N: Me too.
I put my phone back to charge and curled up in my Owen scented pillows.
18. Owen
Between Dylan’s snoring and Nellie saying things like that to me I was never going to sleep right again.
I wanted to see her tomorrow, but at the same time I didn’t want to smother her. Absence and fondness and all that. So tomorrow I would go to my classes as usual and then hit the gym. I put my arms behind my head and started to nod off. But I missed her already. I just felt off—probably just tired.
I woke up the next day and went to my morning classes. I ate lunch with Dylan and we were both relieved that we were almost at mid-term. It felt like this semester was lasting forever. After I went to the gym I grabbed dinner and went to the commons area in the dorms to watch the latest zombie show with everyone else. I probably looked at my phone five thousand times wondering if she had texted me or called me. But she didn’t. I knew that she had practice between six and eight, so I didn’t even bother looking until after that. I got into bed about ten o’clock and I had waited long enough. I wondered how big of a dork she would think I was.
O: I miss u.
N: You have no idea.
I let a huge breath escape and smiled to myself. I had turned into a certifiable sap. My phone alerted me before I could respond to her.
N: Practice was killer.
O: Did you take something?
N: Nah, just soaked in the tub.
O: Won’t keep you. Get some sleep.
N: Ok. Goodnight.
O: Goodnight.
Morning came quickly and Dylan still wasn’t in his bed. Poor Nellie probably had to listen to all sorts of noises last night. I looked at the time and went to eat breakfast before I went to class, just stopping at a drive-thru. Surprising
ly, I arrived in class after her and she had an empty seat next to her. She damn near killed me with her sweetness, but I was drawn to it simultaneously. How in the world she managed to look at me like she did was beyond imagination. One of these days I was going to have to explain to her how jagged I still was. How the scars had faded, but were still visible. How I didn’t feel like she should have anything to do with me if she knew. I felt unworthy.
Still I approached her, unable to help myself. I sat next to her stiff as a board and unable to move, strangled by my own self-loathing.
As soon as she touched me, my whole body released its stress and tension and relaxed in an instant. She slowly and deliberately ran her fingers under my wrist and lined her hand up with mine but she stopped there. She was waiting for me to complete the bond between our hands. I positioned my hand to let her fingers cross in and out of mine and she rubbed her thumb along the side of my hand.
Her poker face stood unmoved by our connection. She continued to stare at the professor droning on and on about—something. Maybe she wasn’t affected by our touch the way I was. But I remembered the way she melted into me at the library so I decided to test the waters.
I unlatched my hand from hers and ran it up her shorts clad thigh and as I progressed she gasped and then feigned a coughing fit to cover it up after almost everyone in the classroom turned to look at her. I could barely contain my laughter. After she finished fake coughing I put my hand back on her leg but this time she slapped it away. Minutes later class ended and now I didn’t know if I had a lunch date or not.
She was quiet for a few minutes and I finally let out my laughter and I got slapped in the shoulder for it.
“I cannot believe you! I’m never sitting next to you again. Ever.”
She was yelling but she was laughing too.
“Oh come on. You were sitting over there so cool like you didn’t care where I was. I had to make a point.”
“You ‘bout done?” She asked.
“Just getting started.”
I let her put her backpack on before I grabbed her up and threw her over my shoulder. She screamed and beat on my back and kicked frantically but to no avail. Her screams turned into uncontrollable laughter and she was shaking on my shoulder.