The nausea leaves just as quickly as it had come, and when I emerge with winter fresh breath, I feel fine again. The bacon smells good and I’m hungry. Thank God. I would have hated to turn down his dinner and hurt his feelings.
Jace seems a little annoyed when I set my plate of food on the counter and take up the barstool next to him. “What’s wrong, honeybun?” I nudge him with my shoulder, smiling all stupid and dorky so he’ll brighten up.
He just shakes his head and shovels a bite of food into his mouth. “Nothing.”
“Sure doesn’t seem like nothing.” I nudge him again. “Why won’t you talk to me?”
“Why won’t you talk to me?” he retorts. His jaw clenches like it does when he’s pissed off at bad drivers or can’t fix a problem on his dirt bike. A mild panic flashes through me and I skim through everything that’s happened in the last few days, trying to think of a time when I hadn’t talked to him. Surely I’m not accidently keeping any kind of secret from him? I shake my head, more to myself, and say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I don't like you being all mad at me right now.”
His face softens. “I’m talking about what just happened. You were passed out asleep for several hours, which is really weird of you to do, and then you jump up and run to the bathroom and won’t talk to me about it.” He grabs my hand and rubs his thumb across my palm. “I just wish you’d talk to me. What happened back there? I worry about you.”
That tiny wave of panic disappears with the realization that nothing is actually wrong with Jace. He’s just being paranoid. “There’s nothing to talk about, babe. I was just tired from shopping all day with Becca.” It’s a little bit of the truth and also a little bit of a lie. I was tired because I kept waking up all night long, frazzled from these weird stress dreams of dying babies and broken engagements. But I force a smile and act like everything is okay. I can’t tell Jace about the bad dreams. He’ll just worry even more and he doesn’t need to be worried. I’m the weirdo with the crazy imagination that likes to think up nightmarish situations with which to plague my dreams.
That nap was the best thing to happen to me today. I didn’t dream at all. At least, if I did, I don’t remember it.
I slide off my barstool and step closer to Jace. His knees drift apart to let me step between his legs as I slide my hands up his chest and around his shoulders. When he sits on the barstool like this, he’s almost as short as I am. I press my forehead to his. “Please don’t worry so much about me,” I whisper, glad to have wintery fresh breath while I’m this close to him. “I think I just had like...morning sickness? But it’s in the evening? I don’t know, but it wasn’t a big deal and I feel fine now, I promise.”
Jace’s eyebrows narrow. “Why can’t you just tell me that in the first place?”
I shrug. “Because it’s embarrassing?”
“It is not embarrassing.”
I roll my eyes and pull away, pressing my finger to his nose. “Yes it is.”
“Just tell me next time, okay? Don’t make me freak out.”
“Fiiiiine,” I sigh, sitting back on my barstool. “I promise to tell you next time my body does something embarrassing, even though it’s freaking embarrassing and I don’t want you to know.”
Jace nods approvingly. “That’s all I ask.”
Later, I lie snuggled up under the comforter of the bed I get to share with Jace every night. It’s been a month since I moved in with him after graduation, and it still surprises me nearly every day. I’ll think I’m finally settled into my new apartment with him and that I’m finally getting into a daily routine of life and then suddenly it’ll hit me like a light bulb clicking on over my head: I am engaged to Jace Adams and I finally get to live with him. No matter how many times it happens, I still get a rush of emotions that fill me up until I think I’ll explode. My life is awesome in that way.
Even though I’m still scared to death of having a baby—life is still good. At least I have Jace by my side.
It’s nearly midnight but I’m not sleepy, thanks to that unexpected nap from earlier. My stomach flip flops when Jace emerges from the shower with a black towel wrapped around his hips. The fluttering sensation in my stomach is not from morning sickness this time. It’s the literal pitter patter of a heart watching the hottest guy alive walk up to her bed. He runs a hand through his damp hair, slinging tiny droplets of water all over me. Even as I gag and squeal and throw my pillow at him for getting me all wet, I still get goose bumps when he drops the towel, slides into boxers and jumps on top of me on the bed.
“Can’t...breathe…” I gasp, slapping him on the back so he’ll get off me. He laughs and rolls off, allowing me to breathe again.
“You’re a butt face,” I say, calling him by my affectionately insulting nickname.
“Takes one to know one,” he says, leaning forward to kiss me on the forehead before turning on the small television in the corner of our room. I snuggle up against his shoulder. “So tell me about your dress,” Jace says. His voice makes his chest hum under my ear.
“You know I can’t tell you! It’s bad luck for the groom to see the dress.”
“Aw, you can’t even describe it?”
I shake my head. “Nope. I refuse to bring any bad luck into this marriage.”
He chuckles and brushes my hair out of my eyes. “I guess I’ll survive.”
Now that we’re on the subject, I realize that choosing my wedding dress is just one completed task out of a list of a bazillion things to do. “Are you sure we can pull off this wedding by August ninth?”
“Of course. That’s two months away.” He flips channels, searching for something worth watching so late at night. “Two months is a long time.”
“Yeah but most people take a year or more to plan a wedding.”
He scoffs. “That’s way too long. People who take that long just don’t love each other enough so they try to prolong it as long as they can.”
“Says the wedding expert?” I say, poking him in the chest.
“Do you want to push back the date?” I can tell by the tone of his voice that he wants my answer to be no. And that’s one of the most romantic things ever. I shake my head. “No way. I want to marry you now. While I’m still thin enough to fit in that dress. It’s just...scary.”
He stiffens. “Getting married?”
“No, God no.” I smile and squeeze my arms around him, nuzzling into his chest. “It’s scary trying to plan all of this stuff and also deal with the fact that we’re having a baby. I mean...that’s kind of a huge deal and I feel like my brain can’t even focus on it yet until the wedding is over.”
“I’m here when you need me,” Jace says, still stroking my hair. “We’re going to get through this. Things are crazy but they’re a good crazy.”
His words make me feel instantly better. “Well we have my dress and we’ve picked a date. Now we need your tuxedo. Do you want me to make you an appointment or should we wait until your best man can go with you? When is he coming, by the way?” Jace’s best man will be his best friend, who I’ve never even met. They grew up together in California and still remain close, although they haven’t seen each other since Jace moved to Texas. It works out well because I only wanted Becca to be in my bridal party and Jace only wanted one friend as well, so we’ll have a symmetrical wedding party of exactly two people who are important to us.
“Do we really need an appointment for something like that? Can’t we just stop by and pick one up?”
I lift up on my elbow and give him a look that suggests he was dropped on his head as a kid. “Of course you have to make an appointment. You have to try them on and pick one out.”
Now he gives me the same look. “Why? A tux is a tux.”
I groan. “You want to pick out the perfect tux, babe. It’s not as easy as grabbing a pair of sweatpants at the sporting goods store.”
“I guess you’re right, but here’s the deal: No one will be looking at me on our wedding day. T
hey’ll be looking at you.”
“Yeah well I’ll be looking at you, so you better look nice.”
Jace’s smile melts into a goofy grin. I nuzzle against him. He slides his hand over my stomach, pausing for a fraction of a second. I know we’re both thinking about the baby. I don’t know what to say or do. Thinking about the very real fact that a child is growing inside me is crazy and scary and also wonderful. But mostly scary. I swallow and change the subject. “You should call your best man and see if he can come visit soon. I’ll make an appointment for your tuxedo fitting. And I’d really like to get him to meet Becca so we can all know each other before the day of the wedding.”
“That’s a good idea,” Jace says, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. He pulls up a new text and sends it to some guy named Nolan.
My eyebrows draw together in confusion. “I thought your best man was named Park?” I ask, trying not to be startled. I don’t know much about Jace’s life from before he met me, and the idea that I’ve been imagining his best friend from childhood as a completely different person is unsettling. Jace shakes his head as he types out a text. “His first name is Nolan. We call him Park. We all call each other by our last names.”
“Ah, okay,” I say, relieved. As I watch him text, I see the tiny little square image of Park, er, Nolan, saved in Jace’s phone.
“He’s kind of cute,” I say, squinting to see the image better. “Is he single?”
“Hey now,” Jace says, pressing the phone against his chest. “You can’t be leaving me for my best friend. Besides, that guy isn’t nearly as fast as I am on a dirt bike.” He sticks out his tongue and goes back to typing out his text message. The boy’s texting ability is incredibly slow compared to mine.
“No,” I say, rolling my eyes. “I meant for Becca. He looks like the type of guy she’s always crushing on at the BMX park.”
“He’s single,” Jace confirms. “But he lives the Cali lifestyle. I’m not sure any girl can make him settle down.”
“I’m not saying I want them to fall madly in love and get married by Christmas. I’m just thinking that it could be fun to go on double dates and stuff. Plus, I can guarantee you that the moment Becca lays eyes on him, she’ll be pulling me aside and begging to know if he has a girlfriend.”
Jace’s phone lights up with a new text and he reads over it. “Looks like you’ll have a chance to play matchmaker soon. He’s coming down in two weeks.”
Chapter 4
Rain pours down on my car’s windshield as I sit huddled up in the driver’s seat, the heater blowing furiously on my feet and face. It’s in the middle of summer, yet the thunderstorm has brought cooler weather with it and I am freezing. I turn off the windshield wipers since I don’t really need to see in front of me because I’m parked at the back of the parking lot at my ob-gyn. Mondays at ten in the morning must be some kind of popular day to visit the doctor, because the parking lot is full. I can’t even see another open spot so I don’t know what Jace will do when he gets here.
This isn’t exactly the way I had hoped to start out such an exciting day. I am officially twenty weeks pregnant and my doctor has scheduled my first ultrasound. He said if we’re lucky, we’ll be able to tell the baby’s gender. I know some people decide to keep it a secret until the day their child is born, but that idea never even crossed my mind. I am dying to know if we’re having a girl or a boy.
Mrs. Fisher, my friend at Mixon Motocross Park where Jace works, told me that women usually have an intuition that tells them if they’re having a boy or a girl. She said that when she was pregnant with Teig, she knew he was a boy before she had even taken a pregnancy test. I don’t know, though. I think she’s crazy. I can sit here all day with my eyes closed and concentrate on my stomach, hand pressing just below my belly button, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t channel any sort of intuition. This thing could be a boy or a girl or triplets or even an alien and I would have no idea.
I really, really hope it’s not an alien.
The time on my car’s radio says I have just seven minutes until my appointment but I can’t go inside yet. Not without Jace. Not while it’s raining. I skim the parking lot looking for his truck, but he still hasn’t arrived. He had two big name clients schedule training sessions with him this morning but they had started at six a.m. and Jace had promised me that he’d be done in time to catch my appointment. He swore he wouldn’t be late and he wouldn’t miss it. As I watch the minutes pass by on the digital clock screen, I’m starting to worry.
The rain continues to pour from the sky without any sign of letting up. I sigh. Running through the parking lot in the rain is about the last thing I want to do right now, next to walking inside the doctor’s office without Jace by my side. I try calling him for the third time since I’ve been in this parking lot. Again, he doesn’t answer.
I take a deep breath, discouraged. I don’t want to be mad at him, but I’m running out of ways to comfort myself and try to convince my heart that this isn’t a big deal. He gets paid a lot of money for teaching motocross lessons and that money goes to support us, after all. It’s his money that will pay for my doctor visit today. So I shouldn’t be mad. I’m not allowed to be mad.
I shove my phone and car keys in my purse, then zip it closed and hug it to my chest as I prepare to make a run across the parking lot in the rain. I make a mental note to get an umbrella, like any normal adult would have in their car, draw in a deep breath, and run.
Rain soaks my jeans instantly, latching onto the bottom hem and then rising up my legs until I can feel cold wet denim up to my calves. My hair is soaked, and cold, and my makeup is probably completely washed off by the time I reach the double glass doors that lead to the ob-gyn’s office.
People stare at me as I burst through the doors, but I try to ignore them. The waiting room is cold and smells like some kind of awful air freshener in a can and the scent makes my stomach clench up, nauseated. I make my way through the various armchairs and couches that line the eclectically decorated waiting room and stand in line behind two women at the front counter. I glance around the room and see the curious or bored faces of all the women around me. They are old. Well, older. No one looks even close to my age. Three of the women have big pregnant bellies as they sit next to their husbands on the couches. One of the women meets my eye and I quickly turn away. I wish Jace was here.
Finally, it’s my turn at the front desk.
“Hi,” I say to the woman behind the counter. She’s wearing pink Support Breast Cancer scrubs and flipping through paperwork. “Um, I have an appointment at ten with Doctor Qi.”
“Sign in.” At first I’m not even sure she’s talking to me but then she reaches up and shoves a clipboard toward me. I take the attached pen and sign my name. I don’t know what to do next so I just stand there a moment. When she looks up again, she seems surprised to see me still standing there. “You can have a seat.”
“Thanks,” I mumble as heat rushes to my face. I should have known to sit down. I mean, that’s what everyone else in this waiting room is doing. I’m such an idiot without Jace. He would have known what to do. I check my phone again, but still nothing. No messages, no Jace, and nowhere to sit.
Taking a spot near the corner, I lean my back against the wall and stare out the window toward the parking lot. It’s still raining and I don’t see Jace’s truck anywhere. He should be here. I try to calm myself and think happy thoughts, but every time something like this happens, my mind always rushes to the worst possible conclusion.
Jace is dead, crushed underneath his truck in some massive collision. Or he’s fallen in love with some random woman at a gas station and now he’s writing me a note to leave taped to the front door of our former apartment, telling me he’s leaving me forever and to have a nice life.
Someone’s voice catches my attention, pulling me out of my stupid daydreams. “Walter, go tell them they need more chairs out here so this girl can sit down.” A woman with a mass of thick bro
wn and grey curls shoves the man sitting next to her. She smiles at me and nods toward me with her thumb. “They have this poor girl standing up, and she’ll probably be here for a while. It ain’t right.”
Walter shakes his head after giving me an appraising once-over behind his thick-rimmed glasses. “She’s a kid. She’s fine. Standing ain’t going to hurt her one bit.”
The woman leans over and touches my arm. “Honey, I’d give you my seat but I got bad knees.”
“Oh thank you, but I’m fine,” I say in my friendly voice, all thoughts of Jace having been shoved to the back of my mind.”
“See?” Walter huffs. “Just a kid.”
They’re the only people talking in the waiting room, which was quiet before Walter spoke up, and suddenly all eyes are on me and our conversation. I stare at the floor and gnaw on my bottom lip, wishing for the billionth time that my fiancé would get here already.
A hushed whisper comes from my right and although I don’t turn my head, or even acknowledge that I had heard, it was obviously directed at me. Chills prickle up my arms and my heart jumps around my chest. Warm tears threaten to fill my eyes but I blink them back. A thousand rude, snappy insults come to me but I don’t say any of them. I don’t want to cause a scene. The last thing I need is to be kicked out of my own doctor’s office for bitch-slapping a woman in the waiting room.
So I stand against the wall for the next thirty-three minutes and keep my mouth shut. When the nurse opens the side door and calls out a name, the woman who had whispered stands up and follows her to the back. Once she’s gone, I let out a breath I’d been holding. My phone vibrates and I jump to read the new message, hoping to God it’s from Jace.
But it isn’t. It’s Becca.
Becca: How’s it going? Do we know if I have a boy or a girl to look forward to yet?
Me: Still waiting. Jace isn’t here and I had the worst fucking thing happen just now. I’m trying not to cry.
The Beginning of Forever (Summer Unplugged Book 5) Page 2