I tug at the zipper of Jace’s jacket. “Why did you insist on coming here again? We don’t fit in here.”
“Because you’ve never had a volcano,” he whispers, leaning down so I can hear him. This volcano better be as great as he says it is, because we drove an hour to get to this place and now I’m feeling totally awkward about it. I swear people are staring at us. And besides, since when is Jace so ridiculously excited about desserts?
We move forward one place in line and it occurs me for the first time that I have no idea why Jace likes the volcano dessert at Perry’s Steakhouse. He started talking about it a few days ago when I was making a bowl of ice cream and covered it with enough chocolate syrup to drown a small village. He had said that this restaurant had the greatest dessert in the world and that as soon as he had a break from work, he was going to take me.
A sick feeling climbs up into my throat as we reach the hostess stand and Jace requests a table for two. How many times has he done this before? With other girls? Is the Perry’s Steakhouse volcano dessert his way to impress other dates?
And if so, why did it take him over a year to bring me here?
The hostess smiles and greets us the way she greeted everyone before us, so I guess that’s a good sign. It’s not like she recognized Jace and asked him what happened to his other girlfriends… I roll my eyes despite myself as she takes us to our seat. Of course that wouldn’t happen. That kind of stuff only happens in movies. In all reality, this is a fancy place with respect for its guests so even if she did recognize him, even if he came in here every other week with a new woman on his arm, she probably wouldn’t have said anything at all. Ugh, sometimes I really over think things.
Jace lifts an eyebrow as he sits across from me at our table. I realize he’s been talking this whole time and I hadn’t heard a word of it. I smile and nod, hoping that’s a satisfactory answer.
“Were you even listening?”
“Mhm.” I take a sip of water and look over my menu, which is flocked with gold print on a velveteen paper. Jace gives me a look that says he’s not buying it. “So you’re perfectly fine with postponing the wedding until next year?”
“Totally,” I say as I skim the list of appetizers, not knowing what half of those fancy dishes actually are. “Wait.” I look up as realization of what he just said comes to me a little later than it probably should have. “You’re postponing the wedding?”
Jace bursts out laughing. He points his finger at me. “I knew you weren’t listening.”
I hit him with my menu, but you know, in a quiet way that doesn’t draw any attention to me. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“Well you’re giving me a heart attack by not paying attention. What’s going on in that mind of yours?”
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
“It is so not nothing.”
I can’t tell him that I’ve been obsessively wondering how many other girls he’s brought here. Jace is a pretty understanding guy and he’s put up with my crazy fears for over a year now, but I can’t possibly tell him this. So I take the easy way out and smile. “It’s nothing, Jace. I’m just a little overwhelmed with all the wedding stuff.”
“Well don’t be. It’s supposed to be fun.”
I blink and take another sip of my water. Holy crap, I can’t believe he bought that. Jace’s ability to read me like a book has taken a huge step backward. Or maybe I’ve just gotten better at hiding my insane insecurities. I’m feeling proud of myself as I look over the menu, trying to find something to order that I both know how to pronounce and would like to eat. I know there’s a smug smile on my face, but I don’t care.
“I think I’ll order the coconut shrimp,” I say a few moments later. “With….sweet potato fries? And ranch to dip them in.”
“You are the weirdest,” Jace says with that little adoring smile he gets when he thinks I’m doing something weird but not so weird that it creeps him out. “Oh, you’re not off the hook, by the way. I’m going to find out what’s actually bothering you. I’ll just wait until after dinner.”
I roll my eyes, keeping my face calm and my tone serene. “You’re cute, Jace. But I’m fine. You’re thinking way too much here.” I shake my head like I just can’t believe how silly he’s being and then go back to the menu. “I guess I’ll stick with the coconut shrimp. It’s hard to choose since I haven’t been here before. I guess it’s easier for you because you’ve been here a million times though.”
If my voice had any hint of disdain in it, I didn’t mean it. Or...maybe I did. Jace shakes his head. “I’ve only been here twice, and both times I got the steak, so I’m sticking with it this time as well.”
Twice. So only two girls… or possibly one girl two times. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m still worrying about this. Jace is with me and that’s all that matters. I’ve been his one and only girlfriend for the last year and two months and that’s what I should focus on when thinking of us. Not the fact that he had other girlfriends before me. “Wait, you’ve only lived here for one year,” I say. Immediately, I snap my mouth shut because I did not mean to say that revelation out loud. Jace’s eyebrow is probably permanently cocked in an expression of confusion by now. “Yes…” he says, sliding his finger down the soft edge of the menu. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“You’ve only lived here a year and Perry’s Steakhouse doesn’t exist in California where you lived before you met me.” It’s all starting to make sense in a weird way that doesn’t make sense at all.
“So, what’s your point?” Jace asks. “You wondering why I came here twice since I’ve known you?”
My heart thumps beneath my chest. “Well...yeah.”
He leans back against the smooth leather bench seat behind him, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You could have just asked me, sweetheart.”
My face flushes and I gnaw on my bottom lip, suddenly wishing the waitress would come take our order. But of course, she is nowhere to be seen. Two other couples sit at tables around us and I glance at them with their sweet expressions and their enthusiasm for being with each other and suddenly I feel like a huge jerk. “You’re right,” I say, folding up my menu and folding my hands on top of it. “It’s stupid of me to care. I was just being...hormonal, I guess.”
Jace stares at me with those piercing but gorgeous eyes of his. “Mr. Fisher brought me here when we talked about the opportunity for me to come work with him at Mixon Motocross Park,” Jace says. “And then Park and I came here last year during that weekend where you and Becca were having a girls only night to study for the SATs. Do you remember that? I remember calling you from Park’s rental car when we were driving home and I talked about the volcano so much you had joked that I should marry it instead of you.”
I laugh. “I totally remember that. You were obsessing over that stupid dessert.”
Jace laces his fingers through mine from across the table and leans forward, his eyes serious. “It is a dessert worth obsessing over,” he whispers.
“You are such a dork,” I whisper back.
He shrugs. “Takes one to know one.”
After we’ve eaten dinner, our waitress comes to check on us and Jace orders the volcano. Her eyes light up and she surveys us in a new light. “Are you dining here for a special occasion tonight?”
“No,” I say, right at the same time Jace says, “Yes.” I look at him waiting for an explanation. He extends out his hand toward me and tells the waitress, “This is my fiancé’s first time here and she’s never had the volcano.”
This makes the waitress laugh because she had been obviously expecting a better reason than that. “You’re in for a treat! I’ll be right back.”
I’m expecting her to bring us the infamous desert, but she doesn’t. Instead, she arrives with a rolling cart that looks like an ultra-fancy stove with just one burner on it. There’s a shiny metal wok-shaped pan on top of the stove. On the fold out arm of the stove cart is a massive oddly shaped
bowl of ice cream. She fires up the gas burner and the blue flames glow beautifully in the darkened restaurant. I watch in awe as she pours syrup and sugar and other ingredients I don’t quite see clearly into the pan and cooks them over the burner. An instant aroma of brown sugar fills the air and makes my mouth water. I only thought I was stuffed full from dinner- now I am desperate for this ice cream.
She takes the bowl of ice cream and stabs a few decorative pieces of chocolate lace into the sides of it. Then, with careful precision, she lifts the pan off the stove and pours the sugary concoction on top of the ice cream. She places the bowl in the center of our table, and then takes a lighter out of her apron. It’s the kind of lighter with a long barrel. “Enjoy,” she says with a smile before clicking on the lighter and touching it to the top of or dessert. A quick burst of blue flames erupts on top of the ice cream, caramelizing it for just an instant before the fire burns out.
My mouth has been open wide and childlike for a few minutes now. I finally remember to close it when Jace says, “Told you it was awesome.”
We grab our spoons and dive in. I know I’m a pregnant chick right now, so pretty much anything with sugar in it is something my brain absolutely loves, but this volcano is the most amazing thing I’ve ever eaten, hands down.
“Oh my God,” I moan between bites. “This is so good.”
Jace nods. “I...told...you…” he says, his mouth full. He dives in to grab another spoonful but I knock his spoon with mine. “Back off, mister. Pregnant chick gets twice as much since she’s eating for two.”
He relents and lets me scoop up the best possible bite out of the whole bowl–it is equal parts ice cream and caramelized, gooey delicious brown sugar. “You’re such a gentleman,” I tease him.
He smiles. “You’re lucky you’re so damn cute.”
“Dinner was seriously the most amazing thing ever,” I say as I slide my hand under Jace’s elbow and hold on to him as we leave the restaurant. It’s warm outside but I hug him close to me anyhow. I love the feeling of holding onto his arm when we’re walking. We could be anywhere in the world and it would still feel like I’m home if I’m holding onto him. “Thank you for taking me.”
“You’re quite welcome,” he says, stopping to hold open the door for an older couple who has just arrived at Perry’s Steakhouse. I step aside and let them in, and then hurry to catch up with Jace.
Jace lifts his arm slightly and I grab onto it again. “Would you like to do anything else tonight? There’s a mall not far from here.”
“I don’t think anything could make this day any better,” I say. “It’s pretty much perfect the way it is. I say we go home and watch movies.”
“Perfect, eh?” He tilts his head to look at me, his eyes an expression of challenge.
“Yes it was,” I say. “Don’t try to think up some way to make it more perfect because it won’t happen. This day was absolutely perfect and nothing can ruin it.”
Jace clears his throat. His arm stiffens under my grip. It doesn’t click right away that his arm is stiffening for a particular reason. Nope, I’m still blissfully walking along the cobblestone walkway in front of the restaurant, heading toward Jace’s truck and thinking all kinds of things about how perfect everything is.
“The fuck are you doing here?”
I look up and find Ian standing perfectly still a few feet ahead of us. Jace steps forward, his arm holding me back just a few inches. My stomach twists into a knot and sheer panic flits across my body. The strong repugnant scent of Ian’s cologne triggers an outpouring of memories, all the weeks we spent together when I was constantly around the scent of Ian’s cologne.
Well...this night was perfect, I think.
Right before I lurch forward and throw up.
Chapter 8
The volcano does not taste as good when it’s coming back up. Luckily, in my nauseated daze, I had leaned over a bunch of bushes and now, after a few moments of hurling, all of the food and puke nastiness is pretty much hidden under a mass of green foliage. I’m vaguely aware of Jace’s voice saying something, and then Ian says something back, in a less friendly voice.
A hand touches my back when I stand back up. Jace leans toward me and I close my mouth, hoping to God that he can’t smell my puke breath.
“Are you okay?” he asks. His eyes stare into mine as if we’re the only two people on earth, but I know better. I nod and clench my teeth together. I know Ian is still standing around watching this scene and I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to see him and I definitely don’t want to smell his cologne. He was the worst part of who I am. And he’s in the past. He does not define me now.
“Move along,” I hear Jace say. I know he’s talking to Ian but I refuse to look up and acknowledge him myself. I’m perfectly happy staring at my black velvet flats. I am going to be the bigger person here. I’ll stay silent and go on with my day. I will not give him the satisfaction of talking to him.
“So it is true,” Ian says. “Bayleigh did get herself knocked up.”
“Who the hell told you that?” Okay, I screwed up on this whole staying silent thing.
Ian wears crisp black slacks and a black button up long sleeved shirt, complete with a tie. He looks exactly like the servers in restaurant. He must have finally decided to get an honest job.
He looks me up and down and I cringe when his eyes linger on my stomach for longer than necessary. Although I am pregnant, I’m wearing a loose-fitting shirt and you can’t really tell from looking at me. But Ian remembers the skinnier me from two years ago. He can probably tell that my stomach is bigger from a mile away.
“Who told me?” he says with a snort. “Everyone. The whole damn town knows you got yourself knocked up and then left town so you wouldn’t be embarrassed about it.”
I see red. “Fuck you, Ian. That is not what happened and you’re a dumbass if you want to believe gossip.”
He grins as if we’re playing a game and he just won. “Sure as hell looks like what happened.”
I feel Jace’s hand press against my back. “You’re done,” he says. His voice is serious and deep and for a split second, I think he’s talking to me. But when I look at him, his jaw is rigid and he’s staring straight at Ian. “Get out of our way. I’m sure you have some tables to bus or floors to mop.”
“Man, fuck you.” Ian snarls. He stands up straighter, shifting from one foot to the other. He wants Jace to do something. He wants a fight, a scene. Because that’s the kind of person he is.
But Jace is better than that. I know it.
I’m gently pulled to the side and a few moments later, we’ve walked right around Ian. Just like that. As if it wasn’t a big deal. I draw in a deep breath and slowly let it out. I will not glance back. I will not try to have the last word. He’s just not worth it.
I do a pretty good job of holding it together as we walk to Jace’s truck. But the moment he closes the passenger door for me, I burst into soft tears. I turn to the right and pretend to be really interested in looking out of the window, hoping that I can get it together and stop crying before Jace notices. We pull onto the highway and a warm hand touches my thigh. This kind of comforting touch is always his way to let me know he’s aware that I’m upset but isn’t going to push me to talk about it. I know he means well, but I ignore him. I don’t want to talk. I don’t even want to look at him.
I spend the long drive home staring out of the window, watching the trees and buildings and cars zoom across the glass. The only thing I can think about is how, yeah, Ian might be a total asshole, but he is right about one thing. I am a girl who got knocked up and then moved away from her hometown. I can dress it up as much as I want–I can say I’m engaged and I’m in love and pretend that I totally planned life to happen like it did, but that’s not true. My pregnancy was an accident, plain and simple.
Sure, we’re happy about it but we’re also terrified. At least, I’m terrified. I don’t know how to be a mother. My mom and Becca’s mom assu
red me that motherhood would come naturally to me and that I’d be great at nurturing this baby when he finally arrives. But I’m not sure how much of that is the truth or just their hopeful wishing. Aside from my happy relationship with Jace, I’ve never been good at anything in my life. What have I accomplished besides graduating high school with all the other students in my class?
Not a damn thing.
I didn’t even pay for my own dinner tonight. Nor my wedding dress, or anything else I use in this life. I am completely worthless and a total drain on Jace’s life and finances. He could be working more if it wasn’t for me always wanting him to take a day or two off to hang out with me. He’d have a ton of money if he didn’t pay my doctor bills and buy me stuff all the time. And he wouldn’t be tied down to a life of being with me and our child if I had never entered his life and, in Ian’s words, got myself knocked up.
I was supposed to go to college and get a job working at Mixon Motocross Park with Jace. But now that I’m pregnant, he suggested that I wait until our baby is a few years old before I start working. Jace doesn’t want me to be stressed out and wants me to relax. Well how can a girl relax when she just realized she’s completely worthless and a failure at everything?
Chapter 9
I had hoped a good night’s sleep would wash away all of the pain and turmoil from last night’s run in with Ian. But all of that hoping and praying was in vain because as soon as Jace’s alarm goes off in the morning, I wake up, stare at the ceiling and become overwhelmed with feelings of hopelessness.
The Beginning of Forever (Summer Unplugged Book 5) Page 5