by Jamie Knight
"You and me?"
"Sure as fuck don't mean the royal 'we'," Sally said, lacing her fingers through mine, "I got you, babe."
A sound came out of my lungs then that was some sort of hybrid of a laugh and a cry. I'd never loved Sally more than I did in that moment. We had always sworn to be true friends and always have each other's back, though that was an easy thing to say. Particularly when you were eighteen and your biggest problem was finding out if a boy liked you or a zit on prom night. That night in her apartment was the first time this decree had really been tested and she had come through for me like a hero on a white charger.
"I guess I should, look into, you know, a clinic."
"Fuck no. You know that isn't you. I'm not -"
"I mean for a check up," I said, "I want to make sure that everything is, you know, okay. With the baby. That I love and am definitely keeping."
"Oh, right, of course. Want me to drive you down? You could use my insurance, we could say that you're my sister."
"No, I can't let you do that," I said.
"What's a little insurance fraud between friends at a time like this?"
"But you might go to prison and then where would I be?"
"You can go to jail for insurance fraud?" Sally asked, amazed.
"I don't know and would rather not find out," I said.
"Fair point."
"I'll have my dad drive me down, now that I know for sure. I don't think I should tell mom yet."
"Good idea. Remember when you got the bee sting?"
"I know! I wasn't even allergic! As it turns out."
"Don't try to tell her that."
"I still have the scar from the injection," I said, rolling up my sleeve to show her.
"Are you going to tell the dad," she asked.
I looked down, fresh tears falling from my eyes as I shook my head. I had nearly forgotten about Reece. I knew I should tell him, no matter how much I hated him at the time. I just didn't think I could face him. Not after breaking it off so forcefully. I held onto Sally, who held me back, gently rocking me as I wept like Alexander.
Chapter Seventeen
Gia
I had heard horror stories about being pregnant. The cravings, the mood swings the back pain. It was often the source of jokes but honestly it wasn't that bad. It was a bit awkward to walk when the baby bump first started to form but I was five months in and it was pretty much all good. My mom had ha been surprisingly cool about the whole thing. She was excited to be a grandma but that was about it. Neither mom or dad thought to ask who the dad was, likely figuring that was my business and if I wanted them to knowR I would tell them. They were we really cool like that. They got me in for regular check ups and I was on all kinds of pregnancy vitamins I had never heard of before, but actually made me feel great.
With no shortage of help from Sally I had gotten a pretty good job as a clerk at a hotel. The owner didn't seem to care that I was pregnant and I was able to sit down most of the day, the baby bump concealed behind the desk. Sally had basically lied and given me a reference for a job with her I had never done for her. It was technically wrong but needed if I was ever going to get another job. She had actually booked me to plan her Christmas party as soon as I got the hotel job, so that way we hadn't actually lied, we had just been chronologically challenged.
On down days, I would sit behind the desk for hours at a time, reading books or looking at the baby bump, thin thing about the baby growing in there and how happy Reece would be to know he was a dad. I had no way of knowing that for sure, though everything I knew about him point toward him being a great dad. We had never talked about marriage let alone kids but I knew he would do what he saw as the honourable thing. I had really short changed him dumping him like that. I had been so shocked to find out the truth about what he did I didn't think about anything else. Like all the things that said he was nothing like my evil grandpa, who, according to the stories bordered on a super-villain. That was what felt the worst. Yeah, he hadn't told me he had money, not outright but I had more or less assumed he was a plumber based on what Maya had said and it wasn't like there weren't clues. The suit, the house. I wondered how many other cars he had besides the one he had picked me up in for our pizza date. Had he really been trying to trick me by picking his most basic car like I had thought, or had he chosen the one of his fleet that he thought I would be comfortable in. I don't honestly know how I would have reacted if he had pulled up in a limo but it likely wouldn't have been good. So I couldn't really blame him for, more than likely, just trying to make me feel comfortable.
I wasn't entirely forthcoming with him either. He had clearly guess I wasn't from money but that wouldn't have been hard and would have been true of my parents. Not of my grandad though. As much as I hated to admit it I had been the beneficiary of exactly the kind of rich asshole that had set my teeth on edge since mom was taken by the Ponzi scheme. I was already bitter but finding that out about the man I thought was helping me was to much to bear. I felt like a hypocrite and didn't want to face it. I couldn't really be throwing rocks at Reece for his perceived dishonesty when I had been lying to myself for years. Where did I think grandpa had gotten the money. I hadn't really know what he had done but he was hardly a priest or a school teacher. To afford a condo in New York and an apartment in Westchester, rent-controlled or not, he had to have some serious coin. But I chose not to think about it. I just took the free rent and was glad of it. All the while ranting against the rich and their wicked ways. Even though I had really only seen the worst of them. He probably knew about that better than I did. I wouldn't have been surprised if the dad he had talked he had talked about cutting out his son had been his own dad.
I thought about Reece a lot. About how it had been and how it had all ended. I kept telling myself I would get over it. That time heals all wounds and all that. Unfortunately that turned out to be bullshit. The most time did was dull the pain a bit. It didn't mean that you forgot. It was all fresh. The pleasure, followed by the pain. Sally had stuck by me through it all but it was clear she though I was making a mistake. She was right, as usual. Not that I was about to admit it. At least not to her. My ego wouldn't let me, not right then.
I was at work one Tuesday, just surfing the web, when I saw Reece's nam in an alert in my inbox. I had never gotten around to blocking his address so he was technically still on my contacts list. The alert was for an award for services to the poor. Reece was going to be the guest of honor. I looked to see the when and the where. Not holding out much hope but still willing to try. The fates smiled upon me and my unborn child, and it turned out that the awards gala was at a hotel up the street, right when I was supposed to get off work.
I pulled my over coat tight around me. It had oddly been warmer than the long parka I had worn while working at the restaurant prior to my fateful run in with John Handler. It was awful but it was kind of fun seeing Reece put him in a choke hold at Papa Gino's. Usually I didn't wish harm to any one. Not really but Handler really deserved it and Reece had really been quite calm and controlled in the circumstances. Especially when he likely could have just gone up and knocked handler out, right then and there. Instead he opted to turn it into a teachable moment and give Handler an opportunity to change is ways. Like the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The hotel was one of those three-hundred dollar a night places. The irony of holding a charity awards ceremony there was not lost. I got in through the main doors without much trouble. There were elegant men in sleek tuxedos but they seemed to mostly be there to help. Which seemed rather appropriate given the nature of the event. I was shown to a seat near the back. Reece had already taken to the stage and was giving his speech. It was great to see him again. He looked a bit different. His hair was longer but still neatly combed and he had taken to wearing unobtrusive, wire-framed glasses that made him look both sexy and distinguished. The tuxedo he was wear was somehow even sexier that the tailored suit he had worn to the friendsgiving party. I felt the ba
by start to kick at the sound of Reece's voice.
"There are those who will say that charity is, in itself a selfish act, because of the good feelings one gets by helping people. I guess that's true because I feel really good helping people. Using the fortune I was luck enough to be able to build to help people get what they need. Maybe the world could benefit from a bit more of that kind of selfishness."
I waited until the emcee was actually handing Reece his little statue before running out into the night. I don't know how long I sat in my car. I had the engine running so anyone passing might have thought it was some kind of suicide attempt. I breathed deep and held the baby bump with both arms, trying to calm myself. How could I have been so wrong about Reece? He wasn't a rich asshole at all. He was a philanthropist! A hard working man who knew just how lucky he was to have what he did and freely gave it to others to try and make their lives better. Likely because he had been through some tough times himself. I wanted to talk to him. Hell, I wanted to go right up onto the stage and kiss him, assuming security didn't tackle me first. But I didn't. I couldn't not after being such a bitch to that sweet, giving man. I had no doubt that he loved me and was no longer foolish enough to deny that I loved him, with everything I had. But I couldn't face him. What was I supposed to do? Stroll right up an say "hey, sorry about the ghosting thing, still love me?" That would work about as well as a cling-wrap condom.
That didn't stop me from wanting to try though. It might have been as doomed as snowball in Arizona but I owed it to our baby to face my fears, slay my demons and try to win back who was meant to be the love of my life. The baby kicked her agreement. I wondered where she had learned morse code.
Chapter Eighteen
Reece
It was like seeing a ghost. Partly because I couldn't be entirely sure it had happened at all. Had Gia really been in the crowd at the awards gala? I thought I had seen her come in near the end of my speech. It wasn't really an acceptance speech per se. They had told me weeks ago I was getting the award and had asked me to say a few words. More like a keynote address, so I thought I would make it count. I could clearly see the irony of rich people giving each other awards for helping the less fortunate, especially when it was happening at a five-star hotel but I also saw it as an opportunity. Not to big myself up, I wasn't nearly insecure enough to need that, but to make people of me ilk really think. Not just pat themselves on the back for how very generous they were being to those below them, like benevolent monarchs. I was under the distinct impression that there had been a war to get rid of monarchs in America and the draconian class system that went with it. We had a history of not liking dictators much.
"You look haunted," Simon said out of nowhere.
I had decided to in bite him because, of all my friends he was the one who actually knew how to comport himself at such an event. Mike would have been drunk and the first opportunity, Derek would have been hitting on every woman under thirty and Jesse wouldn't have come at all, given his feelings about awards in general.
"I think I might be," I confessed.
"How so?" Simon asked, the very picture of gravitas.
"I saw, I mean I think I saw Gia in the crowd during the speech. It was right near the end -"
"The bit about the right kind of selfishness? A very subtle but clever implication that those with everything should help those with nothing get what they need out of a sense of basic human decency?"
"Yeah, that one."
"And you saw her?"
"Think I saw her," I corrected, "sitting at the back."
"Ghosts of girlfriends past?"
"Yeah, I mean, I hope so."
"That she's a ghost?" Simon asked, mildly appalled.
"No, no, that she was my girlfriend. I mean that's what I wanted. She was really more of a fuck buddy, at least at the beginning but I really did love her and when we went to Papa Gino's I could really see what could have happened. What we could have been."
"Wedding bells?" Simon asked, not kidding this time.
"And laughing babies," I said, remembering when she had stood up to leave.
"She was pregnant?"
"Yeah, if it was her. Quite far a long it looks like."
"Well, you know what you have to do then," Simon said.
"She a psychiatrist about the hallucinations?"
"No, you need to go to Gia."
"She was pretty clear she didn't want to talk to me."
"Yes, but I'm not even sure it's mine."
"I am," Simon said.
"Must be nice to be psychic."
"Not really, it's just logic. You were Gia's first, right?"
"Absolutely."
"And she broke it off five months ago but the pregnancy is showing" Simon continued.
"Yeah."
"The math is pretty easy, Reece."
"She said she would get a restraining order," I point out.
"Doesn't matter," Simon said.
"It doesn't?"
"No, not with a baby involved. You know that as well as I do."
I did actually. I was mostly just trying to talk myself out of a very awkward conversation wit Gia. But Simon was right. I couldn't. Not if she was going to be the mother of my child.
"My guess is that she said that before she knew she was pregnant," Simon continued.
"Yeah," I said, already knowing that but not wanting to admit it.
"She needs you, Reece."
"I know."
"I know you do. You might be many things but irresponsible is not one of them."
"Thanks?"
"You have to go to her."
"I can't imagine how. She won't answer my texts and I don't feel right going to her house. Far too stalkerish."
"Even if you hold a boombox over your head?"
"Yes, even then. That's only romantic in movies. I just don't feel -"
"That's your problem," Simon said.
"What is?"
"Feelings. Too many conflicting feelings."
"I guess," I conceded.
"Fuck feelings," Simon said, turning some heads amongst the genteel crowd.
"Little louder, I don't think table twenty heard," I muttered.
"And fuck them," Simon said, a bit quieter, "nothing else matters. It is about you and her and the life you created. Unintentional as it might have been. You love each other and she needs you, go to her."
When Simon was right, he was right.
Chapter Nineteen
Gia
The knock on the door made me jump and set the baby off kicking. I knew it was coming eventually but had been too lost in thought to really think about it. Hauling myself up I went to answer the door.
"Hey," Sally said, hugging me.
"Hey," I said.
"Here you go," she gave me a small white pharmacy bag.
"Thanks, I'll pay you back when -"
"Stop right there, you might insult me," Sally said, holding up a hand.
"But -"
"No buts. It is what I can do for the little one," she said putting a hand on the baby bump.
"Thanks," I said, putting my hand on hers.
"She's kicking," Sally said.
"Yeah, she does that a lot now. I can usually get her to go to sleep though."
"Must be useful."
"Most of the time," I said, sitting back down on the couch, putting the bag down in front of me.
"Is the job working out?" Sally asked, sitting down next to me..
"Oh, yeah, it's great. I mostly get to read, my shift being mostly on the down days mid-week."
"But you don't get paid any less."
"Nope."
"Cool, and it helps you afford this place," she said, looking around my new apartment.
It was even nicer than my rent controlled place and certainly several steps up from my old room in my parents house. I was still in Westchester but that was a small price to pay really. The party planning business had really taken off and between that and what I was making from the
hotel, I was able to get buy on my own. My parents still offered to help of course, not quite convinced that I was really okay, particularly with the baby and all but I did my best to convince them that I was. Even though, really, they weren't the only ones I was trying to convince.
"I-I saw Reece," I blurted.
"Really? When?"
"Earlier tonight at some philanthropist of the year award. Apparently he gives bucket loads to charity and it's not just for the tax receipts. I only got the end of it but his speech sounded like a rousing endorsement of the joy of giving. He actually said that he feels good giving what he has to let those who have noting get what they need. Or something along those lines."
"Sounds like a swell guy," Sally said.
"Yeah."
"Not an evil, own-the-world type at all."
"Nope."
"And he is the father of -"
"I know, I know!"
"Sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. It's just I'm really beginning to thing I misjudged him. I wasn't exactly honest with him either and I just to all kinds of conclusions about what he was really like with no real evidence. In fact, there was evidence to the contrary that should have told me he wasn't like that all. I still love him, that's for sure and I really want him to be able to be part of our daughter's life."
"Then you should at least tell him your pregnant," Sally said.
"I think he knows. I think he saw me leave and she isn't exactly subtle."
"Well, there's your ice-breaker right there. Jus call him up and say, 'Reece, I'm having your baby' and if he is the kind of guy I think he is he'll swoop you up into his arms, whisk you off and marry you right then and there."
"More likely whisk me off and fuck me sideways but you're in the ballpark," I said.
We both jumped at the knock.
"I'll get it," Sally said, waving me back down into my seat as I tried to haul myself back up.
"As you wish," I said, easing back down onto the couch.
"Reece!" Sally exclaimed.
"Sally," Reece said casually while blowing past her into the apartment.