Caresse did not answer, just let out a long, strangled cry, and then sighed several times. But finally, after a few seconds, she lifted her head and looked directly at M. Her eyes and nose were red from crying, and she was extremely pale, her skin the colour of bleached-out bone. She leaned closer to M, got hold of her hand, but still seemed unable to speak, or perhaps did not want to say anything at this moment, was trying to recoup somehow.
Eventually, Caresse said in a small voice, ‘We got engaged the night before he left.’ Lifting her left hand, she showed it to M. ‘He gave me this ring. It’s a sapphire.’ Tears slid down Caresse’s cheeks, and she shook her head, suddenly seemed bewildered. ‘Why? Why did it have to be Frankie?’ she asked, peering at M. ‘Tell me why.’
M had no words for her and, quite unexpectedly, did not know how to comfort this young woman who was utterly grief-stricken. After a while, M asked, ‘When did it happen? How did you find out about Frankie’s accident?’
Caresse, taking several deep breaths, focused on M, and explained. ‘Luke called me this morning. I just happened to be here, I usually come to make sure everything’s all right at the weekends. After Luke’s call from Nice, I called Alex to break the news about his father. Frankie brought him up—a single dad he was and good at it. Then I called you, M, because Frankie was so excited about discovering you…I just knew he’d want you to know that…’ She did not finish her sentence, just burst into tears.
Alex beckoned to M, who got up and hurried over to him.
He was standing with Larry near the small kitchen that opened off the studio. ‘I can explain a bit more to you,’ he said, looking at M and then at Larry. ‘The accident happened about six o’clock in the evening in France. Noon here. Today. Luke Hendricks called Caresse as soon as the police had been in touch with him, at the hotel where he and Dad were staying in Nice…’ He stopped all of a sudden, glanced away, swallowing, and once he had control of himself, he went on. ‘Apparently Dad was driving to Monte Carlo to have dinner with a French photographer he’d known for years. He had a…head-on crash…with a truck coming from the opposite direction. They were both killed, Dad and the other driver.’ Clearing his throat, blinking again, Alex now announced, ‘I think I’ll go and make some coffee. Okay?’
‘Yes, that would be great, Alex, thanks,’ Larry answered, and turning to M he put his arm around her and said, ‘Let’s go and sit over there. I’m absolutely positive Caresse needs to be alone for the moment to grieve quietly, and so does Alex, actually. He wants to have another weep, I think, but not in front of us. He’s trying to be very brave.’
It was an hour later when M and Larry left the studio. Some of Frankie’s colleagues had come in and several other friends had arrived to comfort Caresse and look after her. M and Larry now felt relaxed about leaving, especially since Alex seemed to have found some inner strength and had taken charge.
Standing outside, Larry took hold of M’s hand, and together they walked down the street. It was M who broke the silence between them, when she said, ‘Can we go back to your place, Larry? I don’t want to go home, I want to be with you.’
This pleased him, since he wanted her with him. ‘Then let’s do that right away. It looks distinctly like rain, and we don’t want to get caught in a downpour.’ He glanced up at the sunless sky, noted the gathering clouds, and, hurrying her along, he hailed the first yellow cab he spotted.
M was quiet during the ride uptown to Beekman Place, and Larry decided to let her sort out her thoughts, and so remained silent himself, not wishing to intrude. It occurred to him that she might well be contemplating her future now that the initial shock of Frankie’s death had begun to wear off a little. Her big break, the launch of her career, had evaporated in the blink of an eye. He wondered how he could help her, and realized he had no idea. The problem was, he did not know anyone in the fashion business; if she had wanted to be an actress, he could have been very useful to her, introduced her around. He sighed, and she took hold of his arm, peering at him. ‘Is something wrong?’
‘No, no, I’m perfectly fine.’ A faint smile flickered around his mouth. He continued, ‘Just worrying about you, darling. You’ve got to start all over again, go back to square one.’
‘And that’s what I’ll do,’ she responded firmly. ‘I’m not going to give in or give up the idea of being a model. I have to keep on trying.’
‘That’s the right stuff! Good girl,’ he exclaimed, his voice full of admiration.
When they walked into Larry’s apartment a short while later, there was the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance, and brilliant flashes of lightning were illuminating the rooms overlooking the East River.
Walking over to one of the windows in the library, Larry exclaimed, ‘My God, look at the sky! It’s extraordinary, and any moment there’s going to be one hell of a cloudburst.’
She went and stood next to him, staring out at the darkening sky. It was heavy and gloomy, filled with bloated black clouds, but, oddly, they appeared to be illuminated as if from behind. Silvery rays of radiant light were suddenly streaming across the clouds as if emanating from some source below the far horizon, creating a dramatic effect that was uncanny, otherworldly. Turning to him, she said, ‘A set designer has been at work here, don’t you think? It’s like a scene out of The Ten Commandments, when Charlton Heston parted the sea.’
Larry nodded. ‘Dead on, love, dead on. Now, how about a cup of tea?’
‘Why not,’ she agreed and asked, ‘Shall I come and help you?’
‘I’ll do it. You go and sit down, relax. But it seems a bit cold in here, so perhaps you’d light the fire. It’s laid, it just needs a match, and there’s a box of them over on the coffee table.’
Larry hurried off, and M did as he asked. Once the fire was burning brightly, she sat down on the sofa, took out her mobile and dialled Geo’s number. Geo answered at once.
‘Hello?’
‘Geo, it’s M.’
‘Hi! How was lunch?’ Without waiting for an answer, Georgiana rushed on swiftly, ‘James is here. He came to look at my paintings, and later we’re going to dinner. Are you going to be with Larry this evening?’
‘Yes, I am, and I’m happy James is there, Geo.’
‘So am I, and—’
‘I’ve got some sad news,’ M interrupted, cutting across Geo. ‘I guess you haven’t heard?’
‘No, I haven’t heard anything about anything. What are you talking about?’
M blew out air, took a deep breath and plunged in. ‘Caresse called me just after lunch. There’s been a terrible accident.’ Her voice began to wobble, her emotions coming to the surface, and she took firm control of herself, managed to continue. ‘Frankie’s been killed in a car crash in France.’
‘Oh, my God! No! How awful. What happened?’ Geo sounded horror-struck.
M told her everything she knew, explained that she and Larry had been over to the studio, confided that Caresse and Frankie had become engaged the night before he left for Morocco. ‘So, as you can imagine, Caresse is heartbroken, pretty much devastated,’ M said, adding, ‘Frankie’s son, Alex, is with her, and a lot of other friends.’
‘I think I’d better go over. Maybe there’s something I can do to help them. What do you think?’
‘It would be very nice if you went—comforting. Frankly, I think the two of them are shell-shocked and what are friends for, if not to be there in a crisis?’
‘You’re right. James will come with me, I’m sure of that.’
‘Is everything all right with him?’
‘Very. Yes, very all right.’
‘I’m so glad. That’s good news,’ M answered. ‘If you need to speak to me I’m on my mobile.’
FIFTEEN
The fire crackled and burned brightly, the flames flaring up the chimney and giving the room a warm, roseate glow. The thunder and lightning had not abated at all; the rain was falling in torrents and, as Larry had predicted, it was a cloudburst, the rain s
lashing and rattling against the windows.
Leaning back against the cushions on the big overstuffed sofa, M’s thoughts turned to Larry. She was well aware that he was smitten with her; he had made that patently clear. And she was smitten with him, totally enamoured of him now as she had been as a teenager. But at this moment in time it was much more real because she was with him, not merely daydreaming about him.
She was well aware that she had not encouraged him last night; he had intuitively detected her apprehension, and had backed off. It struck her that she must try to allay any fears he might have about her reluctance to be intimate with him, otherwise their relationship would never progress any further.
The Bad Thing hove into view in her head, and instantly she smothered it, stamped on it, threw it away, and so was able to put it out of her mind altogether. There, it was gone. She would not think of it again. Not ever.
How to explain the way she had pulled away from him and looked scared last evening? I’ll stick to a few partial truths, she decided, that’s the best solution, the only one which will work.
Closing her eyes, she allowed her thoughts to dwell on Larry, a habit she had perfected as a teenager. Then something extraordinary clicked in her head, and she sat up with a start. She knew, and with absolute certainty, that they were destined to be together. That had been in the cards since she was a child; daydreaming about him had been a prelude to this. In her mind and in her heart she knew him well, knew him truly as he was at the very core of himself. And she felt safe with him in a way she had never experienced before with a man. He was her destiny.
At this moment Larry walked into the library, carrying the tea tray. He said, ‘You know, it’s a funny thing, M, I feel that I know you, know everything about you, in fact, but then I suddenly realized in the kitchen that there’s one thing I definitely don’t know about you.’
‘What’s that?’ she asked, sitting up straighter, glancing at him with avid curiosity as he came over to the fireplace.
‘I don’t know whether you take milk or lemon in your tea.’
‘And I thought you were going to say something earthshaking.’
‘Here’s one of those for you then,’ he answered as he placed the tea tray on the coffee table and looked across at her. ‘Will you marry me?’
She gaped at him, flabbergasted.
‘Go on then, say something, give me an answer.’
‘I can’t. I’m stunned, Larry.’
‘I bet you would have said yes, and with great alacrity, when you were ten years old.’
‘That’s true.’
‘So?’ He raised a black brow, his blue eyes riveted on hers. ‘So go on, give me an answer, don’t keep me on tenterhooks.’
‘The answer is…yes. Very much yes.’
‘The perfect answer, the only answer.’ He grinned at her, and added, ‘Now that that’s out of the way, we can enjoy our tea. Milk or lemon?’
‘Today, I feel like having it with lemon,’ she answered, laughter in her eyes, enjoying this light-hearted, teasing conversation. ‘And a sweetener, please.’
Within moments he had poured the tea, which he placed in front of her, then he sat down next to her on the sofa. Immediately he took one of her hands in his. He studied it intently for a moment, his eyes reflective. ‘I wonder what kind of ring I should give you? Diamond, ruby, sapphire, emerald or pearl? What’s your preference?’
‘I’ll let you decide. Surprise me.’
‘That doesn’t present a problem. Surprise you I will.’
‘There’s just one…proviso…’
Her voice had changed, grown serious, and he noticed this at once, attuned to her as he had become. Frowning, he asked, ‘What is it?’
‘I think we have to sleep together first. Before we get married, that is.’
Larry stared at her in astonishment. He knew she was not joking; she had startled him, caught him off guard.
M recognized that he was at a sudden loss, and she said quietly, ‘I want to explain something, Larry, about last night when we were outside the restaurant. You thought I was frightened, didn’t you?’
‘Well, certainly apprehensive, yes, that I did. And I didn’t want to rush you into bed against your will, that’s why I decided to take you home.’
‘And I was a bit disappointed you made that decision, but I fully understood your reaction.’
‘I was worried I might do something to spoil things. I didn’t want to turn you off…me.’
She moved closer to him, her eyes never leaving his face, and leaning into him, she kissed him fully on the mouth.
Larry responded eagerly, and then almost at once he pulled away from her, gave her another hard questioning stare.
‘What is it?’ she asked.
‘You haven’t told me what made you afraid of me.’
‘It wasn’t you I was afraid of…I suddenly had a bad memory, a nasty memory about someone else. It had nothing to do with you. Honestly, I promise. But when it suddenly came back, it threw me for a moment.’
‘What kind of bad memory?’ he probed, his eyes fastened on her face, his curiosity aroused.
‘Some time ago I had a horrendous sexual experience with a boyfriend. He got extremely rough one night, awfully unpleasant, and became angry with me when I tried to hold him off. He was violent actually, and he forced himself on me, hurt me physically. I was a mess for a long time afterwards, and I haven’t been involved with anyone since.’
‘What a bastard he must be!’ Larry exclaimed, his anger rising to the surface. He managed to keep it in check, and went on in a lower voice, ‘I will never harm you in any way. Please trust me on that.’
‘I do, and I feel really safe with you, safer than I have for a long time.’ She meant what she said, and she gave him the benefit of a confident and loving smile.
He nodded, stood up, grabbed her by the hand and pulled her to her feet. Putting his arm around her waist, he led her out of the library, across the foyer and down the corridor to his bedroom.
‘Since I am rather anxious to tie the knot, don’t you think we should get that proviso out of the way immediately?’
‘At once,’ she concurred, leaning against him, her arm going around his waist, her eyes full of laughter.
They went into his bedroom and he closed the door behind them, turned her to face him, and brought her into his arms. ‘Darling, M, oh darling,’ he said against her neck. ‘I know you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you, but are you sure you wouldn’t prefer to wait a bit longer? Until you know me better?’
She smiled against his shoulder. ‘But I do know you, and better than a lot of the people who’ve been in my life for ages. Anyway, I’ve known you since I was ten, remember? That was when I had my mushy dreams about you.’
He had sensed her smile, and he was pleased she was relaxed and at ease. He knew she was happy being with him, just as he was with her. ‘Can I now make your mushy little-girl dreams come true?’ he asked softly, his breath warm against her neck.
‘I wish you would.’ Standing away from him, she looked deeply into his face, reached out and touched his mouth, slid one finger along his cheek. ‘Laurence Vaughan. Do you know, I can’t believe it—that I’m standing here in your bedroom about to make love with you.’
Stepping close to her, Larry smiled as he began to unbutton her white cotton shirt. He took it off, threw it on the floor, removed her bra and dropped that as well. Then he pulled his black sweater over his head and discarded it.
They both moved at exactly the same moment, stepped into each other’s arms. Larry slid one hand down her back, brought it around to cup her breast. Bending over her, he kissed it tenderly, and then led her over to the bed. They undressed, stood gazing at each other for a moment, before Larry said, ‘You seem shy all of a sudden. Please don’t be shy with me, darling. You’re lovely, M, perfectly beautiful. Come on, let’s be together the way we want, let’s love each other, know each other in the best way.’
They lay together side by side on the bed, holding hands, not saying a word. But soon Larry pushed himself up on one elbow, stared down at her. He loved the length of her—she was almost as tall as he was—and admired the elegant lines of her body, her long legs. Her face was finely featured, her dark eyes compelling, and they held his, and somewhere at the back of his mind he had the sudden feeling that he knew her.
Aware that he was studying her, M stared back at him, saw a fine vein beating in his temple, noticed the hollow in his neck just below the chin. How vulnerable he looked, like a child. Before she could stop herself, she lifted her head and kissed that tender hollow, felt a rush of the most intense emotion for him. And in her heart she knew that she loved him.
Larry kissed her on the mouth, let his hand slide down over her breasts. Her skin was smooth, silky under his touch; he stroked her stomach and her thighs, and he was gentle with her and tender.
Lifting her hand, putting it on his neck, M brought Larry’s face down to hers, and they kissed deeply. It was a rapturous kiss, and they were lost in each other, taking pleasure from their explorations of their bodies, enjoying their new-found intimacy.
At one moment M caught her breath, so conscious was she of Larry, of his masculinity and physical magnetism. She was growing more excited and aroused, fired on by his burning desire for her, longing to be possessed by him.
His hands continued to roam over her, fondling, caressing, touching, and when finally they came to rest between her legs she found herself trembling. Within a few seconds, his expert touch, his probing aroused her even more, sent spirals of pleasure rushing through her. At one moment she stiffened slightly and he murmured, ‘Relax, darling, just let go.’ She did as he asked, and a deeper pleasure spread up into her body, filling her with ecstasy.
Now she reached for him, put her hand on him tentatively, let it rest there between his legs. Slowly, she began to stroke him. Her touch was as light as a feather, and a shiver ran through Larry. He thought he was going to cry out or, worse, explode, and so he swiftly moved on top of her, kissing her deeply, wanting all of her.
Breaking the Rules (2009) Page 11