by Hart, Lane
"No. It's just a job. There are plenty of them and only one of him. Just like there's only one Natalie for you. It seems like you've got to prove that to her, so she'll know she's more than a pawn used by you to keep your contract."
"So you're saying the only way to get her back is to give up football?"
"Whoa now!" Will speaks up for the first time in several minutes. "Let's not urge him to make any rash decisions. Alex Marshall sucks. The Wildcats' season would be over."
Lacy slaps his shoulder playfully. "I tried to convince him to give up his loyalty to the Wildcats and become a Giants fan, but he refuses to budge. Anyways, would you rather have her or a Super Bowl ring?"
"It'd be nice to have both, but if I had to choose between winning the Super Bowl or winning Natalie, I'd choose her every damn time, without hesitation."
"Well then, there you go. Problem solved," Lacy says with a smile.
"What if I give up football and she still won't forgive me?"
"That's a chance you have to be willing to take."
I nod in acceptance but then I have a thought. "Would you be willing to talk to her for me? You see through my bullshit just like she does, so you might be able to convince her. I need her to know that I didn't mean to hurt her."
"I guess I could try."
"Will you take him with you?" I ask, nodding to Will. "I don't want her to wonder if there's anything still going on with us. I told her I might be the baby's father."
Lacy shrugs. "If he wants."
"Hell if it'll possibly save the season I'm all in," Will answers with a smile.
"Thanks. I appreciate it. I guess I'll go talk to Jerry in the morning," I say as I stand up and start for the door. "I'll text you her address."
"Okay. I really do hope it all works out for you, Zack," Lacy says, and she actually gives me a hug before I turn to walk down the sidewalk.
"Me, too. Thanks, Lacy."
"I'm sorry about what I said," she tells me before I make it down the front steps. "About not wanting the baby to be yours."
"Oh." I wasn't sure what to say to that. Of course I knew she wanted the baby to be Will's, but the way she'd said it that day... it was like she was saying she didn't want to have to deal with sharing a baby with a pain in the ass like me. "It's okay, I get it. I was a jerk, and I'm sorry about how I acted. You know, that day you told us you were pregnant? I didn't want to be a father. I didn't think I wanted it to be mine, but now...I'm trying to be the man I need to be either way."
Even if Lacy's baby isn't mine, I want to have kids someday, hopefully with Natalie, and do right by them.
"She's moving if you want to feel her," Lacy says.
"She? You mean...the baby? It's a girl and she-she's..." I stutter in shock.
Lacy presses her fingertips to the bottom half of her bump and smiles. "I think she's a girl, Will thinks she's a boy. I just don't want to call him or her ‘it.’ So do you want to feel? If so, you better hurry because it might be a while before she does it again."
I hesitate for a second but then I just have to know. I head back up the porch and place my palm over Lacy's belly.
"Right here," she says, moving my hand lower and pressing down harder than I would have. And then I feel it, a soft nudge or poke. A few seconds later it happens again.
"Holy shit, that's...that's the baby." An actual baby moving and growing inside of her that might be...
"Yeah. It's pretty amazing, huh?" Lacy looks up and asks with a knowing smile.
"Like nothing I've ever imagined," I tell her. "Thanks for letting me feel her, even if she's not mine."
Chapter Thirteen
Natalie
I feel sick as I watch one of the Hollywood news channels, and almost upchuck the Ben & Jerry's I had for breakfast. There's breaking news, photos of Zack, hugging his ex last night. His pregnant ex-girlfriend that he's seen affectionately touching her bump. Wow. I didn’t think he was over her, but that just goes to show he doesn't care about me at all. It was all just a big fat lie, so he could keep his job, and oh yeah, he fucked me a few times on the side since he apparently couldn't be with anyone else.
After Rachel calls my phone three times in a row I finally decide to answer it in case something’s wrong.
“Hello?”
“I can’t believe what your sexy ass boyfriend did!” she exclaims.
“Yeah, well I’m not that surprised,” I exhale. “I just feel so stupid for thinking he actually cared about me.”
“Ah, what the heck are you talking about, Nat?” Rachel asks.
“The bastard was just using me to keep his contract. It was all a lie,” I confess on a sniffle as more tears escape.
“Natalie I don’t know what Kool-Aid you’ve been drinking, but a man that donates a quarter million dollars honoring you probably deserves a little more gratitude than that.”
“A quarter what?” I ask obviously having delusions of grandeur now.
“This morning we received an ‘anonymous’ donation by wire transfer for two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in your honor. Now who the hell else could it possibly be?”
“But…it could’ve been someone else…” I say, even though I can’t think of another soul that knows me and has that much money. Maybe this was Zack’s attempt to try and buy me off so I’ll keep up the lie. Never going to happen. Oh, but we need that money. That’s over two thousand free mammograms!
Before I can ponder why Zack would do this, there's a soft knock on my door. I ignore it, but a few seconds later there’s another. Ugh.
“Hey Rach, I’ve got to go. Someone’s here.”
“Maybe it’s an incredibly hot quarterback!” she says before we say goodbye.
If so I probably still won’t answer it. Probably.
I reluctantly drag my unclean, rough looking ass over to check the peephole. I'm not expecting to see a pretty blonde woman standing there with a young brown-haired guy. Hold on, she looks familiar. Sort of like me but a lot like Zack's ex-girlfriend. What could she possibly want? To rub it in that he'd gone back to her? The two didn't seem to be moving, so I turn the lock and jerk the door open to get it over with. The man and woman both give me sad, pity-filled smiles.
"Natalie?" the blonde woman asks hesitantly.
"Uh-huh."
"Hi, I'm Lacy and this is my boyfriend, Will."
Boyfriend? Did he know she's seeing Zack on the side?
"Zack asked us to come talk to you. Can we come in for a minute?" she asks
"The Wildcats' season is at stake here," the guy says with a grin.
My sadness instantly falls away and my anger resurfaces. "I refuse to pretend to be his girlfriend! I don't care if the jerk loses his freaking contract!"
"No, no, no. I didn't mean to imply that," the guy says, holding his hands up in surrender.
"Zack loves you," Lacy says.
"What? He loves me? Are you out of your mind? He was using me!"
"Honestly, I was just as surprised as you. We were together for a year and he never cared about me the way he already cares about you," she says. "I mean look at us. We could be sisters, except your eyes are green, right? He met you first and obviously that's the only reason he dated me."
"I'm sorry, but you lost me," I say, rubbing my aching temple.
"Can we come in, so I can try to explain?" she asks.
I finally nod and open the door for them. Walking back through the apartment I quickly grab up the piles of tissues spread all over the place from crying my eyes out and toss them in the garbage.
I take a seat in my grandma's old rocking chair, so they can have the couch. The same couch Zack fucked me on. I shake my head to clear those thoughts.
"Zack told us everything from the beginning, and it sounds like he was an absolute jackass. He lied to you and used you without you knowing," Lacy says. "I completely understand why you're upset and never want to see him again. I'd feel the same way, which is why I agreed to come see you. If I were you I'd want
someone to tell me that he screwed up, but he's genuinely sorry and he really does care. It wasn't an act. I know Zack and I've never seen him the way he was last night. He was distraught. He says he loves you, and I actually believe him. I've heard a lot of his lies, so I'm not quick to believe anything he says. But I believe this."
I shake my head. "He's a great actor. I'm sure he's just trying to keep his job."
"Actually, he's giving up his job."
"What?" I ask.
"He's meeting with the Wildcats' owner this morning and walking away from his contract. He says you're more important to him."
"He can't do that. Alex Marshall sucks!"
"That's what I told him, but he wouldn't listen," Lacy's boyfriend says.
"It's just a job," Lacy says.
"An incredible job he loves and is great at."
"Maybe you should give him another chance and talk him out of taking such drastic measures," the guy says.
"No," I respond quickly.
"I remember that video from the UNC and VT game," Lacy says. "I didn't know who you were, but I was jealous of you back when Zack and I dated. He never kissed me like that. He wanted you before he made it to the NFL, without any ulterior motives. Why is it so hard to believe he wants you now?"
"He could have any woman he wants, so why would he pick me?" I ask.
"I thought the same thing when Lacy and I first met," her boyfriend says. "I made up all sorts of excuses, saying she was just using me as a rebound from Zack or trying to piss her father off. Even though I couldn’t figure out her reasoning, and still haven't, that doesn't mean I can't see that she loves me. For whatever reason, she picked me, and if I'm who she wants then I'm not going to argue."
"And I learned a valuable lesson about forgiveness. Will hurt me and betrayed my trust. I was so freaking pissed at him. But after my mom died, well, she helped me realize that sometimes the people we love are worth forgiving."
"I don't know," I say, biting my lip in indecision. "The whole time we were together was just one big lie. An act. He never actually wanted to be with me."
But when we were alone together, no cameras around, it did feel right and perfect. And why did he make that huge donation if he wasn’t trying to bribe me back into his lie to keep his contract?
"Come on. Give him another chance. He's been falling for you since the day he knocked you on your ass," she says with a smile. "Don't forget that he needs to keep his job because he might have a child to support soon."
"And hurry. The Wildcats' season is in your hands," the guy jokes.
"Fine. I'll go try to talk him out of quitting. For the fans and … possibly his child. But that's it."
"We can drive you to help you get through security. I have a press pass." Lacy jumps up and I relent.
…
Zack
I cleaned out my locker and loaded up everything in my car before sitting down in the driver seat to call my dad. I didn't want him to hear it from someone else. I wouldn’t bother calling my mom since I'm sure she'd be ecstatic. From little league she's tried to talk me out of playing football, saying it was too dangerous, and the concussions were causing more damage than the doctor's admitted.
"Hey, son. How's it going?" my dad answers.
"Hey, um, have you got a minute?" I ask. My dad's a busy pediatrician in Tallahassee, Florida, the same town I grew up in, but he always takes a few minutes to talk when I call. I miss my parents, but Florida no longer feels like my home. I've been living in North Carolina since my freshman year of college and this is where I want to stay.
"Of course. Something wrong?"
"Um, I, ah, I'm getting ready to walk away from my contract."
"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that."
"I'm giving up football. I fucked up and have basically been on probation with Jerry for a few weeks now. I used the woman that I really care about to make management happy, so I think this is the only way I can show her that she's more important to me."
"Wow. Have you received any new concussions that I don't know about?" he asks, making me smile.
"No. I'm completely coherent."
"Even down here I've seen the pictures of you two. You look happy with her."
"I am. I was."
"Well, I know how important football is to you, so if she's more important...then I guess you're making the right decision."
I blow out my breath in relief at his understanding and acceptance. "Thanks, Dad. I wanted to tell you first, before you saw it on TV."
"Too bad you can't have both, then you'd have it all. You sure you won't regret your decision?"
"Maybe, but I'd definitely regret losing her."
"All right, as long as you've thought through your decision. You know your Mom and I just want you to be happy."
"Thanks. Tell Mom hi and I love her."
"Will do. So when are we going to meet this woman?"
"If I can actually convince her to forgive me then I'll fly her down soon. If not... I'll probably still come home."
"Good. See you soon. Love you, Zack."
"Love you too, Dad."
I end the call and climb out of my car to head inside the stadium. Decision made, sitting outside of Jerry's office, waiting for him to finish up his conference call, I feel surprisingly calm.
I have my phone in my hand about to call Dean and break the news to him when the office door opens and Natalie walks in. Wait, what is she doing here?
"Natalie?" I ask, jumping up from the waiting room seat. Her eyes are still red but she doesn't seem as angry as she was yesterday. She looks sad and I hate knowing I’m the one that caused it.
"Zack, what the hell is wrong with you? You can't do this," she says.
"Yes I can. You're worth more to me than playing a sport, and I was stupid not to realize it sooner. I'm so sorry I wasn't honest with you and that I hurt you. I want you to give me another chance."
"I don't want you to quit football, but I can't...I just can't give you another chance. All this time...you lied to me about everything," she says with a sniffle.
"Not everything," I assure her. "Yes, I admit that I did lie to you, but the way I feel about you is real."
She shakes her head in disagreement. "I'll never know what was real and what was fake...and those doubts...I can't," she says as a tear snakes down her cheek.
"Ask me anything and I swear I'll tell you the truth."
"Why did you ask me out the first time?"
This is it, my one Hail Mary pass before it's game over. My only shot to convince her to forgive me.
"Because I needed to find a non-slut before Sunday's game to date for weeks if I wanted to keep my eighty million dollar contract. I needed to spin some good PR with one woman after a gold-digger blackmailed me and Jake. She had a picture of me and him naked after we, um...had a threesome with her."
"So when you originally asked me out...it was all fake just so you could keep your contract?"
"Until you shot me down...then I don't know why, but I just had to try and win you over. And I really wanted to fuck you, too. I was honest to God attracted to you from the second we met."
"And offering to do the calendar?"
"Fake so that you'd agree to go out several times with me in public."
"Kissing me in my office?"
"Real. That wasn't for anyone else but us."
"The concert?"
"Fake for press, except for kissing you. I couldn't stand the thought of never seeing you again."
"The Comedy Zone?"
"Fake in that I wanted our picture taken, but being with you that night in my car was real, even though I felt guilty afterwards."
"Carowind's?" she asks, wiping the moisture from her cheeks.
"Fake because I knew there'd be more pictures, but I really did want to spend a whole day with you. I knew it was our last date and I wasn't ready for us to end. That morning was real."
"Tickets and exposure at the first football game?"
&n
bsp; "Fake and for the cameras."
"Halftime?" she asks in a hiccup when the tears fall faster.
"Real, and, Natalie, I promise you every second after that was real. There was nothing else for the press after they asked about us that day. If I'd known about your past...I wouldn't have done this to you."
"Inviting me to your house?"
"Real. There may have been paparazzi outside the gates, but that had nothing to do with why I invited you over. They were trying to catch me cheating on you, even though I already knew I didn't want anyone else. Not because I was trying to keep my contract but because I was falling hard for you. I wanted the first time I made love to you to be in my bed. And you know that was real."
"Jake said you screwed some girl while we were..."
"Not while we were together. Her name is Addison. We kissed, and I, ah, went down on her, but nothing else happened because I couldn't stop thinking about you. It was that Friday night a few minutes after I saw you leave with that guy."
"I trusted you," she says, barely a whisper.
"I know and I'm so damn sorry. I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that I'll never lie to you again if you just give me another chance.”
“Is that why you made the donation to the foundation? As a bribe to get me back?”
“God no,” I assure her. “That money wasn’t meant for you.”
“It wasn’t?” she asks.
“No. It’s for the foundation to use to help save the lives of girlfriends, fiancées, and wives for all the men who love them. I may have only known you a few weeks but I already love you so much that losing you would completely destroy me."
"You love me?" she gasps and her sad, red eyes widen.
"Real. So real that I can't imagine my life without you. I need you, Natalie. There's like this intense gravitational pull I feel toward you. I can't resist it, and I don't want to even try. It's so damn strong that I actually collided into you four years ago. That video...the photo of us on your wall? If that's not what love at first sight looks like then there's no such thing."
"That's how I've felt about you for four years. It's probably why I moved to this city and ended up in this stadium."