by Nicole Casey
“Why don’t you?”
“I can’t. This is my life.” He waved his hands around the inside of the yacht. I could see it turn into a luxurious, elegant prison cell in front of my eyes.
“Lives change, Adam.” I think it might have been the first time I had said his name out loud and it just felt right. “I changed mine.”
“Why the Hell did you go to the jungle, anyway? Were you really planning to save the planet?
He poured us each a big glass of red wine. I normally hated the stuff but I took a big swig and enjoyed the sensation of it slipping down my throat like velvet.
“I needed to save myself first of all. I was bored and my life was going nowhere. It was the right time to challenge myself.”
“Weren’t you scared?”
It was the first time that a stranger had asked me all of these personal questions so I had to think for a second before answering.
“Terrified. The first night in the jungle reserve I nearly fainted when a big bug landed on my leg.”
“How did you get over it? The fear, I mean.”
“I don’t know. It just kind of happens little by little. The other night I knocked a giant cockroach off my bed and I realized that I wasn’t a scared little girl anymore.”
The glasses were empty and it was now completely dark outside. Adam filled them with some more wine.
“Do you think I could…?” He stopped in mid-sentence and I could have sworn that his normally arrogant and insolent eyes were filling up with tears. He went and walked over to the deck.
Should I go to him and tell him he could change his life if he wanted to? Should I tell him that his future was in his own hands and that I was there to help him if he wanted me to be? It was all so confusing that I stayed in my chair and finished my wine.
Finally, I got up and went to him.
Just as I was about to hold him or open my mouth or do whatever my brain told me to do, a loud screeching noise came from the other side of the boat.
We got thrown to the deck and a huge wave washed over us. I was choking on salty water and Adam was nowhere to be seen.
We were sinking.
Adam
I lay on the sandy beach spluttering and coughing. I had no idea where I was but it was clear that we had hit land that neither of us had ever seen.
It had taken me an eternity to reach the beach. I was a strong swimmer thanks to all of the family’s private pools but I now felt my body tired and aching after the struggle against the tide.
My ears were ringing and my mouth was dry and salty. I tried to get up but something was holding me down. When I eventually managed to turn around I saw a large piece of wood pinning my leg down onto the sand.
“Jess! Jess!” My voice came rasping out, hoarse and feeble. Oh God, where had she gone? I would never be able to forgive myself if anything had happened to her because of me.
What if the island was populated by wild animals or savages? Were there even still savages that lived on islands in this part of the world? I wished that I had learned how to read maps and sail properly before leaving home.
I think I lost consciousness for a few minutes or maybe a few hours. Anyway, when I opened my eyes again I looked around the beach in panic. There was a bundle of clothes over at the other side of the beach that I thought hadn’t been there before.
Was that my t-shirt that Jessie had been wearing? I thought I could see her tousled blond hair on top of it.
I struggled like a man possessed and finally managed to get the wood off my leg. There was blood on my thigh but I ignored it and limped towards Jessie.
God, please let her be okay. I had never had a reason to pray before but I found myself doing it now. I wanted her to be okay more than anything ever before in my whole life.
As I got closer I could hear that Jessie was groaning slightly. She was in pain but at least she was alive.
I somehow managed to lift her up to carry her further up the beach and then laid her out under a palm tree. My leg was hurting but I was drawing strength from some inner reserve that I hadn’t even known existed until now.
She looked so small and helpless in my big t-shirt that I swore to myself there and then that I would protect her from all dangers even if it meant putting my own life at risk. I had no idea what to do to help her, so I just stood over her and looked, while desperately praying to the heavens.
By the time the first light of day appeared I was still crouched over her. I hadn’t moved all night long and now I was rewarded by the sight of her eyes slowly opening. There was a confused and hurt look in them that was painful to see.
The first day passed uneventfully. There was no sign of people or of wild animals on the island and Jessie still hadn’t spoken. My leg wasn’t too badly injured after all, while Jessie appeared to be more shocked and exhausted than hurt.
As Jessie got stronger I left her alone for a few minutes to go and gather some wood. I had no idea what to do with the wood but gather wood was the first thing that people always seemed to do on survival programs so it had to be worth doing.
It was something to occupy my mind and my hands. In some way, it worked, as I felt slightly soothed when I had finished the task.
The island was pretty and at any other time, I would have been happy to spend some time on it. We had landed in a big bay with a long sandy beach and some trees behind it. Mountains rose behind the trees and it was anyone’s guess what was on the other side.
It looks like Paradise but felt like Hell right now.
I was trying hard not to panic at the thought of being stuck here for days or weeks. How long could we survive here with very little food or drinking water? My phone was no longer in my pocket but the battery had died last night anyway, so there was no way of getting in touch with anyone who could help us right now
How long would it be before Joe or my uncle started looking for us? How would they even know where to start?
When I had finished gathering some wood I went over to check out Jessie. Her eyes were open but she still looked a bit weak and sickly, which was only to be expected.
I tried to hold her hand but she pulled it away from me. What the heck was wrong now? Hadn’t I been looking after her since we got here?
“Hey Jess, let me hold your hand.”
“This is your fault. You took me out on a boat that you couldn’t sail and that had no radio on it.”
I felt more ashamed of myself than at any other point in my life. She was right, it was all my fault.
I had let my hormones take over and sailed her out of Buenos Aires with thinking of the dangers for even one second.
It was all I could do fight back the tears of bitterness and helplessness. Every time I got close to her something went wrong that put us all the way back to square one.
“I…I’m going to set up camp over there. To give you peace.” I tried to sound strong and decisive rather than pathetic but I knew right away that I had failed.
“That’s right. Run away from your problems. That’s all you spoiled brats can do. You cause problems and break people’s heart then wait for someone else to clean up the freaking mess.”
Did she say that I had broken her heart? It was a tiny piece of hope to cling to as I walked away. If I had broken her heart then it meant that there was still hope of repairing the damage.
It was too late to turn back now but maybe, just maybe…
It seemed such a tiny, fragile glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, but it was all I had to hold on to as I tried to work out what to do next.
I used some of the wood to set up a temporary shelter. It wouldn’t withstand any heavy winds but it would probably be okay for a day or two.
Jessie was up and about now but was too proud to ask me for help or even to speak to me.
People thought I was the luckiest guy in the world and it was an image I was happy to go along with. Yet, right now I felt far from being lucky.
I had been shipwrecked on a beautiful island with th
e only woman I had ever….the word “loved” came into my head but surely it was a mistake.
I had often thought I was incapable of loving or being loved. Could it be that Jessie has caused such an incredible change in my life after so little time?
The waves lapped against my feet as I wondered what life on this island would bring us now.
10
Jessie
I just couldn’t believe that Adam had walked away on me like that.
Typical of a poor little rich boy to give up as soon as the going got tough. I bet that he had never before had to solve any of his own problems. He probably always had a nanny or a butler or someone to clean up any messes for him.
Getting up onto my feet was tough at first but I got there in the end. I was going to have to be strong because I knew that there was a lot of work to be done before I could relax.
I vaguely remembered seeing someone in a movie or documentary once spell out “HELP” or “SOS” or something with rocks on a beach, so I decided to do the same. Just in case a plane or helicopter flew overhead and saw the message.
There were very few suitable rocks nearby, as they were mainly too small and too similar in color to the sand. So I had to wander into the small wooded area behind the beach to look for some there.
The mood changed instantly back here, as it was dark and forbidding when compared to the light and sunny beach. There was a horrible feeling here that someone or something could be spying on me.
I got into a minor panic when I heard some leaves move and ran back out onto the sand, hoping that he couldn’t see me. Yeah, the whole rocks spelling out a word plan could wait a bit longer.
Instead, I gathered together some driftwood to make a shelter of some sort. As I did this I noticed that Adam was trying to salvage some stuff from the yacht, which looked as though it was going to sink completely under the waves at any second.
He carried out some clothes and then some food. As least he was salvaging useful stuff rather than his expensive gadgets and other little luxuries like I had feared he would do.
I resisted the temptation to run out and tell him to be careful, as the yacht could sink and take him down with it.
He wouldn’t listen to me anyway, as he had already shown himself to be an extremely stubborn and selfish little brat. I still couldn’t quite work out why it was that he caused my emotions to swing so wildly from one extreme to another just by thinking about him.
If he hadn’t been so determined to seduce me then none of this would have happened. His stupid plan to trap me on his ridiculous yacht was the most selfish thing I had ever seen anyone do.
Of course, when I closed my eyes I relived our glorious night of passion all over again. It had been the most magical night of my life but the come down from that high had been brutal. First of all, he had been cold and distant with me and now his recklessness had seen us shipwrecked, a fact that he didn’t seem to ever plan on apologizing for.
Night fell over the island slowly as the sun sank into the distant horizon. The sea was ablaze with a glorious sunset that really deserved to be shared with someone. Unfortunately, the only other person on the island wasn’t the type of person who was likely to be impressed by nature in all its glory.
I eventually decided to swallow my pride and walk over to him. This moment just felt too special to be experienced while feeling all alone and miserable. I was going to swallow my pride for the first time that I could remember.
He was lying back looking up at the sky, apparently oblivious to the incredible sunset we were being treated to.
“Have you got your camp sorted out?” I could clearly see that he hadn’t. It looked worse than mine and that was saying something.
“Almost there.”
“Just taking a rest?” The words come out far more sarcastically than I had expected for some reason.
“Better than standing there watching a stupid sunset.”
“Have you never thought that the finest things in life are the little moments like this when we just sit back and look at how amazing nature is or savor an unexpectedly inspiring moment?”
“No.”
“Ah right, for you life is all about spending money and impressing people who don’t even care for you. I bet most people that you think are your friends secretly hate you and are only with you for your money.”
By the way he winced I could tell that my words had hit home. So, the arrogant little rich boy had a weak spot after all. Maybe it was time to see if I felt better after twisting the knife a little more.
“If you lost your inheritance tomorrow you’d be all alone in the world.” Strangely, this wasn’t making me feel any better at all but some sort of wild, uncontrollable impulse made me carry on regardless. “Why don’t you just admit it, you might be a billionaire but you’re a loser as well.”
The rage inside me suddenly subsided and I immediately felt ashamed of spitting out those hateful words. I had never spoken to anyone like this in my life and it was a horrible, empty feeling that settled in my stomach as he stared out to sea. What had come over me to make me act so nasty with him?
Adam got up slowly and walked towards me. For a second I thought he was going to hit me. It would have been better if he had.
Instead, he walked down to the water’s edge and just stared at the wreck of his yacht. It was about to disappear and I guessed that by the morning all traces of it would be gone.
How could the warmth and tenderness that briefly sizzled between us have vanished so quickly and in such a horrible way?
My instincts now told me to go to him and apologize but this time I ignored them. That’s the funny thing about instincts; it is easy to only follow the wrong ones.
I stood there like a fool, not knowing what to do next. My emotions had been all over the place in the last few days and showed no sign of settling down anytime soon. For the first time in my life, I genuinely feared that I might be going crazy.
This island was having a weird effect on me. Added to the effect that being around Adam had on me, it was clear to see why I was feeling so strange but I had no idea what to do about it.
There was nothing left to do but wander back over to my own camp and get ready for what promised to be a long, sleepless night.
11
Adam
As night fell over the island I had all the time in the world to reflect on the mistakes that had led to me being in this situation in the first place.
I knew that Jessie was only a few hundred meters away but she might as well have been back in Buenos Aires or up there on the Moon that hung silently in the sky so high above me.
We had never felt closer yet so far apart. Every grain of sand between us could have been a kilometer wide and it wouldn’t have made any difference.
To top it all off, my camp was a disaster and so was hers. The temperature was starting to drop a lot more than I had expected and my light clothing wasn’t going to keep me very warm.
Jessie was in an even worse situation than I was, as she only had a flimsy t-shirt on. It might even still be wet from when we had got shipwrecked.
I looked up at the Moon, as though expecting to find the answers to my problems engraved on it. To be honest, the answers came from a lot closer to home, as I truly listened to my heart for the first time in my life.
It felt like some sort of miracle as I finally began to feel as though I understood myself. I wasn’t the rough, tough guy that I had been pretending to be. It was just some stupid part I had given myself and that I no longer knew how to escape from.
I felt some sort of indefinable emotion bubble up inside me as I thought about how I could make things right against with Jessie if only I could find my real self and my genuine personality. She was perfect for me and I had risked it all by being stupid and thinking only of shallow things.
It was so clear to me as I looked up at the dark sky over the island that I had done it all wrong from the very first second that I had laid my eyes on he
r. I had to admit that I had been doing everything all wrong for longer than I cared to think about.
Strangely, I felt a sense of liberation rather than regret when I thought about my mistakes. If I could admit them to myself then maybe, just maybe, I could do something to fix them as well.
Making things right again wasn’t going to be easy. Jessie might never feel able to relax with me again after what I had done and the attitude I had shown. Yet, I had to give it a try to see if she felt able to forgive me.
As soon as the ideas were clear in my head I knew that I had to act that very night, before old fears and bad habits stopped me from doing so. I had wasted far too much time already to be able to give myself the luxury of hanging around and waiting for the perfect moment before acting.
It was probably around midnight or now, or maybe even later, but I knew that she was as wide awake as I was.
I walked over to her camp and saw that she wasn’t there. She was down on the beach where the water was washing over her feet.
Jessie was staring up at the sky as well. When she saw me she sat up straight, seemingly prepared for another fight or at least an argument. That was how our relationship had always worked, wasn’t it?
I sat down on the sand beside her. Jessie looked even more alluring than normal in the moonlight and with only the gentle sounds of waves running on to the sand to listen to.
We sat in silence for a moment. The mood seemed perfect and I didn’t want to spoil it with a clumsy choice of words. She had pulled my t-shirt down over her knees and looked so sweet and innocent that I had to fight back a lump in my throat before I could speak.
“Jess, I’m sorry for…well, everything really.”
“For being a spoiled, heartless little brat?”
“Yeah, especially for that.”
“And for getting me stranded out here due to being selfish and thoughtless?”
“Yup, that too.”
“And for seducing me on your yacht?”
“Um, that no so much.”