by Taylor Lee
“As if that wasn’t exactly what happened tonight.”
Ruby whirled to see Noah staring at her through narrowed eyes. It wasn’t his frown that surprised her or even the fact that he wasn’t smiling as he usually did. No, it was the curt, no nonsense tone of his voice that rattled her.
“I… I’m sorry, Noah. Did I do something wrong? I… my… goal was to get Drechsler interested…” She hesitated and then added bitterly, “If you’d seen him after you left, you’d know I succeeded.”
Noah shook his head and grimaced.
“No, Ruby. As always you did everything right. And it’s just as well that I left before you drove for the fence.”
When he turned away and walked to the table and reached for the Maker’s Mark, Ruby sought Grayson’s gaze, looking for an explanation for Noah’s obvious displeasure.
Grayson shook his head and held up his hand as if to say that their commander was in a bad mood. As if she couldn’t tell by the way that he was methodically filling his and Gray’s glass and carefully rinsing out one for her before he filled it and turned to hand it to her.
His sigh was audible.
“No, Ruby. As always you were superlative. Drechsler didn’t have a chance. I might add that Grayson was nearly as accomplished as you were. It’s truly amazing that he was able to insinuate himself inside the circle the way that he did. But according to Gray, you also had something to do with that coup.”
At first Ruby was surprised and troubled by Noah’s obvious disapproval. Seeing his rigid jaw and tight frown, she tried not to be upset. Then righteous anger slowly rose, shuttering her nervousness and replacing it with disapproval of her own. Goddammit, who did Noah think he was? Did he think it was easy, emotionally or professionally, doing what she did tonight?
Before she could voice her rising anger, Noah put his glass on the table then leaned back against it, his feet crossed at the ankles. The rigid line of his shoulders and narrowed eyes belied his nonchalant pose.
To her surprise Noah turned to Grayson and nodded toward the door.
“I’ve changed my mind, Gray. We can go over the details tomorrow. We’re already a week ahead of our script, thanks to you two.” He added, “We’ll do a conference call in the morning. I’ll call you at 06.00 hours, man.”
Noah looked back at Ruby and startled her with his serious gaze, then turning back to Gray, he said, “Hope you understand, Gray, but I need you to leave. I have some issues to discuss with Ruby. Alone.”
Gray didn’t attempt to hide his surprise but merely nodded and took a large swig of his whisky then plunked the glass on the table. He moved toward the door and stood for a moment with his hand on the doorknob.
Seeking Noah’s gaze he said in a soft voice, “You’re the boss, Agent Walker. Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do or that you’ll regret later.”
He opened the door and threw Ruby a quizzical nod, then closed the door quietly behind him.
Trying to quiet her pounding heart that Ruby was sure Noah could hear, she tipped up her chin and did her best to glare at Noah. She was gratified that her voice was stronger reinforced by the anger that was now swirling through her gut.
“Do you want to tell me what this is all about, Noah?”
He shook his head, his lip curled in what looked to Ruby like a sneer. His sarcastic words confirmed it.
“Humph. As if you don’t already know, Ruby.”
Chapter 17
Ruby was shocked by Noah’s startling reply. She stared at him trying to understand why he was angry with her. Taking a deep breath, she did her best to respond calmly.
“Know what, Noah? What exactly am I supposed to know that has made you so angry that you sent Gray out of our meeting without the courtesy of an explanation? A meeting—let me remind you—that you called.”
Noah returned her glare with a frown and shook his head. For a moment he didn’t speak then said in a low voice devoid of emotion, “I’m not angry, Ruby. I’m furious.”
He said it so calmly that for a moment Ruby couldn’t absorb what he’d said. But, seeing the gleaming fire in his dark, now nearly black eyes, it hit her that not only was he angry, but he was angry with her. It was then that it hit her. He was angry with something she did with Drechsler. What else could it be? Determined not to let her temper flare, she sucked in another deep breath and blew it out in an audible sigh.
“I’m trying to understand what is wrong, Noah, but since you won’t tell me, I can only surmise that it has something to do with Drechsler. Was it something I said or did? Or was it my outfit? Was it too risqué?”
As she began ticking off the litany of things that could have made Noah not only angry with her, but furious, Ruby stopped. What the hell was she doing? Blaming herself because he was angry? For something she had done, or not done? When he didn’t have the consideration even to tell her? No, instead he was just frowning at her as if she was a naughty child needing to be reprimanded. Remembering what she had gone through, tolerating Clay’s inappropriate advances after Noah had stormed out of the dinner, and how she’d barely escaped to her crummy hotel room, her temper went from 0 to 100 in three seconds flat. Placing her hands on her hips she stepped forward and let her righteous anger soar.
“Look, Agent Walker. Excuse me, I presume I should say Commander Walker. You are the commander of this operation, correct? And, I am one of your agents who’s doing her damndest to implement the plan that we created under your leadership. Unless I’m mistaken and was in some other realm of the universe when we created the plan, my job was to seduce our target in order to get as much information as I could about his criminal organization.”
Now on a roll, Ruby didn’t care that her voice was raised. She wanted to yell, scream at this overbearing man who was regarding her coldly. Instead, her voice rippling with emotion, she thrust her chin at him and forced herself to appear as calm as he was. It didn’t work. The minute she started to speak she lost every shred of composure she might have had. She was seething and she didn’t care if Noah thought she was an overwrought bitch. For once she was going to tell him exactly how she felt and then get the hell out of the room before she made an even bigger fool of herself.
“Just so we are both on the same page, let me reiterate. And, please, correct me if I’m wrong. My job was to prance into the private dinner last night like the slutty tart that I am—the tart that you wanted me to be. My understanding was that my job was to get Clay Drechsler’s prick so hard that he could pound nails with the damn thing.”
Ruby tipped up her chin and said haughtily, “I am reasonably confident that I succeeded, given the fact that if it hadn’t been for Gray, I’m not sure how I could have gotten away from him tonight. But, thank God, Gray was there since our commander was AWOL, apparently deciding that we could handle the powerful man on our own. And we did, dammit! But, for some reason, that doesn’t seem to have been enough for my holier-than-thou commander.”
Ruby stepped further away, determined to get to the door before she lost it completely. She was so angry that she was shaking and her lip was trembling so hard that she had to bite down on it to stop it from quivering. Knowing she was on the verge of crying out of anger and frustration, she forged ahead, her voice rising with intensity.
“Tell me, Noah. Do you think what I do is easy? Do you? That it isn’t hard for me to put on clothes that reveal every part of my body? Clothes that put me on display for dissolute men to ogle and make sick disgusting comments about what they would like to do to the slut standing in front of them? Do you know how hard it is to keep from attacking those hideous men, knowing what they are doing, doing every day, to young girls? To hundreds and thousands of innocent people? How it rips my gut to have to smile and toss my head to egg on the repulsive men? To allow them to put their filthy hands on me when what I really want to do is kick them so goddamn hard in the groin that they’ll piss blood for the rest of their lives? Do you get that, Noah? Any of that? What I feel, what I have to do b
ecause it’s my job? Or do you prefer to stand back and watch what I’m doing and what I tolerate for the mission and then, goddamn you, have the audacity to judge me?”
Ruby knew that tears were streaming down her face but she couldn’t stop them. She only knew she needed Noah to know how much his obvious disdain in the face of what she was up against had hurt her. Reaching the door, she made one final attempt to tell him how angry she was. To her horror, instead of yelling at him in rage, she began to sob and practically wailed her final assault through a flood of tears.
“You… you… really don’t have any idea of… how… hard it is…”
She broke off and grabbed for the door handle.
Noah’s voice was low, threatening.
“Where do you think you’re going, Agent Harper?”
Galvanized by his calm arrogance, Ruby managed to spit out through her tears.
“As… as far away from you as I can get!”
His hand shot out and, before she could stop him, he slammed the door closed and shoved her back against it. His move was so fast and effective that she lost her breath. When he pressed her against the door, his powerful body holding her in place, she gasped for air. But he didn’t let up. If anything he pressed harder against her, his rage all the more apparent because his voice never rose.
“Damn you, Ruby. How dare you accuse me of judging you? Of standing back and watching you do the things that you need to do to help us capture the evil men we’re after and then criticize you? That I am so insensitive, such a heartless prick, that I don’t know and respect every damn thing you do, and, yes, that I command you to do as part of your job. Do you honestly think it doesn’t tear me to pieces, watching those men ogle you, make their ugly insinuating comments, see their fucking hard-ons’? Know that part of your role, the one I helped create, is to allow, no, fuck it, to encourage that bastard Drechsler to come on to you?”
Noah’s voice dropped even lower but now it was vibrating with intensity.
“Do you have a clue, Ruby, a scintilla of understanding how fucking hard this mission is for me? How I nearly resigned, but Ian wouldn’t let me. Because, Ruby, goddamn you, I didn’t know if I could handle what you do. What we are requiring you to do. The risks to you. The danger we’re putting you in. The chances we’re asking—no, requiring, you to take.”
He stepped back, loosening his hold somewhat but his tone was more intense, riddled with danger.
“I will only tell you this, when you came in tonight, like every man there. I was bowled over by your beauty. But then, I always am. Seeing Drechsler’s reaction, his lewd appraisal of you, and knowing what you were going to be facing with that corrupt man, it took everything I had not to take him down then and there.”
His voice rose, pulsating with passion. “And you think I was judging you? Criticizing you? Goddamn you, Ruby, for being so fucking self-centered and dense.”
To her surprise, he reached out and grabbed her hair winding it in his fist. Using it to pull her head back, he forced her to look up at him. Ruby was shocked at the expression on his face. It was a devastating combination of anger and lust. She’d seen it before and it was affecting her the way it had then. Struggling to fight the powerful sensations that were exploding in every part of her body, she managed a hoarse whisper, “What… what are you doing, Noah?”
He growled, “What I should have done in Phoenix. I’m going to make love to you, Ruby. And this time, little spitfire, I’m not stopping, until you finally get it through your head what it means to be loved passionately, the way that you need, and deserve, to be loved.”
Tugging her head further back so that she couldn’t avoid his fierce expression, he added, “I’m warning you, sweetheart. I’m not going to be easy. And I sure as hell am not going to be normal, or ordinary. No, dammit. I’m going to love you, fuck you, the way that you are begging to be loved, fucked.”
Not knowing how she could get enough spit in her mouth to speak, Ruby managed to ask in a small, quavering voice, “Do… do those things include you spanking me, Noah?”
Noah laughed but it was a harsh, mirthless laugh.
“Oh yeah, baby, among about a hundred other things I’m about to do, you can be damned sure there’s a spanking lurking in there somewhere.”
Chapter 18
Making good on his threat, Noah scooped her up in his arms and strode toward the bedroom. Ruby clung to him trying to make sense of what was happening. She’d never seen Noah act like this, even when he’d attacked her in Phoenix. He was usually calm, controlled, sophisticated. Tonight, he was fierce, wild, with an undercurrent of rage seeping through his usual reserve. He was never like a marauding pirate declaring that he was going to ravish her, that he was going to fuck her. But as he carried her into the bedroom and slammed the door shut with one large boot, she knew that was exactly what he planned to do. What shocked her more than Noah’s outrageous actions was her response.
It wasn’t as though Ruby was sexually inexperienced. Good God, she’d been in the Army for six years and knew the relief a quick tryst could provide following a harrowing, adrenalin-stoked mission. But her “lovemaking,” if it could be called that, had been perfunctory sexercise, serving a tension relieving purpose in the here and now, nothing too hot or too memorable. Over the years, Ruby had reluctantly concluded that “real life sex” wasn’t anything like her favorite torrid movie scenes or the romance novels she voraciously gobbled up.
Her experience with Stuart had proved her utilitarian theory. As deliberate as he was about everything in his life, Stuart approached sex as a task on his to-do list. A pleasant one, but it often seemed as though he was doing it because he was supposed to, because it was on the schedule. It was eye-opening to Ruby that after the tumultuous night at the Washington D.C. event, when she saw ‘sex with Chloe’ on his calendar, she no longer laughed as she had in the beginning. Rather than being amused at his passion for order as she had once been, she was put off. She found herself scheduling activities of her own as though she wasn’t aware that they were conflicting with Stuart’s weekly appointment for sex. Stuart had never called her on it, simply made a note on the calendar for the next week.
All of that had changed the night that Noah had undressed her and held her in his arms rocking her to sleep. She’d woken from that sleep with her mind and body seriously challenged. She’d never had the kinds of dreams that she had that night or that she’d continued to have. She’d never awakened in the middle of the night hungry for sex. Masturbation had been an infrequent occurrence, but, since that crazy night with Noah, she’d become a bit of a masturbation whore. She was no longer surprised to awaken with her pillow crammed between her legs and the musky smell of sex emanating from her core. In fact she was so hungry, and had so many sexually demanding dreams, that she considered counseling. It was bad enough that her fiancé thought she was too unconventional, too spontaneous. She’d almost laughed thinking of how Stuart would react if she ever confessed the things that her imaginary lover did to her in her dreams.
But, now, as Noah tossed her onto the bed and stared down at her, an inferno of electrically charged sensations streaked across her body lighting every nerve ending on fire. Gazing up at him Ruby knew that never in her life, even her dream life, had she imagined a man looking at her the way that Noah was now. She should have felt helpless, even afraid, but instead she was wild with excitement. His big, strong, heavily muscled body was a miracle of potent, male flesh. His dark skin was alluring. It made her ache to touch it just to confirm that something this beautiful was real. But it was the hunger in his eyes as he gazed down at her that made her want to cry out. Not from fear but from overwhelming desire.
Noah continued to watch her as his fingers moved to the buttons on his shirt. He loosened them one at a time, slowly, as if he knew the effect his casual striptease was having on her. How could he not when just the sight of his broad shoulders and sculpted chest, sprinkled with coarse, curly hair, caused her to cry out and p
ress her hands between her thighs in a useless attempt to quiet the sensations raging there. Shrugging off his shirt, he let it drop to the floor, and then unclasped the buckle on his leather, silver studded belt. Pulling it from the belt loops, a sly smile quirked his lips.
He placed it next to her on the bed and said, “I think I’ll keep this right here. I can imagine a number of uses for a leather belt with a woman who is as adventurous and sassy as you are.”
Ruby groaned at the erotic images his provocative words unleashed in her brain. Knowing that he was intentionally teasing her or perhaps warning her that he wasn’t kidding merely stoked her desires higher. She was unable to hold back her soft moan when he unbuttoned the top two buttons on his jeans and shoved them lower on his slim hips revealing a web of curly hair arrowing down his washboard stomach to his groin. Looping his fingers in the top of his jeans he pressed his hips forward emphasizing the fearsome bulge of his arousal. At the sight of it, Ruby could no longer resist.
She rose up on her elbows and begged him with her eyes.
“Oh, God, Noah. I want you.”
Needing to touch him, feel him, she reached out to press her hand against his erection but he caught her hand and held it tightly in his. The surprisingly forceful move sent a shower of sparks to her groin and she couldn’t hold back a low crooning moan. He gave her a searching glance then his lips tipped up in a provocative smile.
“Ah, that’s good to know. So the aggressive little warrior woman is hankering to give up some of that fierce control of hers. Don’t worry, baby. I’m gonna make sure that you get all of your needs met. Especially the ones that coincide with my hard-earned proclivities.” He nodded to the belt and said, “Oh yeah, fire woman, now we both know this is going to come in handy.”
Not wanting him to know how much his unexpected threats were turning her on, Ruby struggled to free her hand hungrily gazing at his thighs.