by Taylor Lee
“In times of trouble and of joy I often turn to the words of that great man, Martin Luther King. I was humbled to read today one of his most compelling warnings. He said:
“One of the great tragedies of life is that men seldom bridge the gulf between practice and profession, between doing and saying. A persistent schizophrenia that leaves so many of us tragically divided against ourselves. On the one hand, we proudly profess certain sublime and noble principles, but on the other hand, we sadly practice the very antithesis of these principles. This strange dichotomy, this agonizing gulf between the ought and the is, represents the tragic theme of man’s earthly pilgrimage.”
“Unfortunately, my friends, I have succumbed to that tragic ‘agonizing gulf.’
“In conclusion, as I indicated, I have formally ended my campaign for my fourth term as the United States Senator from Virginia. At the same time, I’m announcing that I am endorsing the candidacy of a brilliant young man, Elliott Coleman. Elliott is a lawyer—we won’t hold that against him—and graduated magna cum laude from the Yale University School of Law. While he is a newcomer to politics, Mr. Coleman is a highly respected figure on Wall Street. In addition to his professional accomplishments, Elliott Coleman is a husband, a father of two young children and is known for his commitment to social justice.…”
~~~
Francis Walker raised her hand and said to Ruby. “If you don’t mind, dear, would you please turn off the television? I would like to go home now. I have seen enough. Frankly I need to deal with the past before I can think about the future.”
Chapter 34
“You “You have to admit, that when the chips are down, my old man knows how to come through like a champ.” Noah raised his glass to the absent figure and said with a harsh chuckle, “To you, Pops. In whatever hole Mother has banished you to; know that I am proud of you for what you did today.”
All of the people gathered in Diamond’s bedroom shouted “Hear, hear!” and raised their glasses in a toast.
Ian spoke for the group as he lifted his glass. “And here is to you, Noah. No father could have a more honorable son. I have always respected you and count as one of the great privileges of my life that you are my friend. I love you, man, and I have never been more proud of you than I have in this last horrendous week.”
The cheers in the room were deafening.
Ruby leaned against her somber husband and said, “Let’s not forget your mother, Noah. I cannot imagine the pain she must be feeling.” She added, her eyes flashing. “And anger. To be honest, I don’t know how she can ever forgive your father. He’s shamed her as much as he’s shamed himself.”
Noah sighed. “You’re right, firewoman. But my mother is strong and yes, she has more than enough reason never to speak to my father again. I can only hope that whatever happens, it will work out for the best for both of them.”
Frank Gunderson moved into the tense silence and said, “Please don’t think I’m proposing another toast because at this moment getting drunk seems like a good thing to do….” He waited until the laughter died down then added, “Now, Noah, we all know what an orator your father is. The greatest surprise to me about his speech was that he didn’t swear once. Damn, not one ‘fuck,’ ‘son of a bitch,’ or even a measly ‘hell’ or ‘damn.’ ”
Breaking into the laughter, Frank turned back to Noah. “But I gotta tell you, man, that MLK quote was masterful. How did you get him to use it?”
Noah shook his head. “I wish I could claim the credit, but the honor for that incredible statement goes to the most eloquent man I know.” He raised his glass to Ian. “I’ll tell you, Col. Ross, there was no question that Pops would give a good speech since you wrote most of it. And Frank is right. The MLK quote was a master stroke. The bigger accomplishment was that you kept him from quoting one of Malcolm’s fire and brimstone, hell and high water screeds.”
Ian laughed along with the others.
“You’ll notice that he added a few unsanctioned lines of his own when he referred to the current polls. But given his pride and the fact that he likely could have won the damn race, spitting in Brunson’s replacement’s eye was probably the least we could expect.”
Ian moved closer to Diamond’s bed and smiled at her.
“By the way, folks, please remember that we are holding our victory party in this rather small bedroom so that the true hero of the venture could participate. Let’s not forget that if it wasn’t for the beautiful Col. Davis, we might all have been returning from Senator Walker’s funeral. The memory of her literally taking a bullet for the Senator will haunt Noah and me for a lifetime.”
Diamond accepted Ian’s praise and the hearty cheers from the rest of the group as graciously as she could. She hadn’t realized how tired she was until Ian reached for her hand and spoke to the others.
“Now if you don’t mind, I think we have plied Diamond with enough booze, on top of the painkillers I insisted she take. As tough as she is, that’s fatigue you see on her lovely face.”
When the rest had left the room after personally thanking and congratulating her, Diamond looked up at Ian with a grateful sigh.
“Thanks, Ian. As glad as I was to participate in the ‘victory’ celebration, I admit I’m exhausted.”
Ian huffed a sigh and agreed. “Yes, Tiger, it has been shall we say a momentous week.”
Thinking he was talking about Sen. Walker, Diamond raised the issue that had been troubling her.
“I know we’re all concerned about Francis and Noah. Because they’re both so strong, especially, Noah, I feel confident they will come away from this horrible experience even stronger and eventually at peace. But I’m not so sure about John. I worry about him.”
“You have reason to be concerned, sweetheart. I am as well. I’ve known John for a long time. He is one of the brightest, most accomplished men I’ve ever known. In addition to being one of the most passionate and outspoken of men. The problem is that over the years I’ve watched him turn from righteousness to self-righteousness. From passion about important issues to anger against anyone who questions him. What was once charming self-assurance has become arrogance and a quest for more and more power as if it was his due. You’re right, Diamond. John has a hard row to hoe if he is going to come out of this mess better and somewhat healed.”
Ian was quiet for a moment and then pulled the arm chair next to her bed and sat down on the edge so that his knee brushed against her arm. He reached over and tucked a tendril of golden hair that had escaped her ponytail behind Diamond’s ear. His smile was tinged with sadness.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about those unpleasant traits of John’s this last week. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, although methinks that you have, that I share some of them.” He winked at her and continued, “Not at the out of control level that the Senator is, but guilty none the less. I had a long time to think in that lonely hotel room we shared that one incredible night. I confess that I saw a lot of the Senator in myself.”
He continued, “I’m calmer, a tad more erudite. But I’m arrogant, and I rely on my wealth and position to keep my distance, not give in to my emotions. Like John, I use my humor, or worse, my sarcasm, to protect myself from loving or truly being loved.”
Diamond stared at him, not believing the things he was saying about himself. For a moment she thought he was just leading up to the things he’d already said about her. Her concern must have shown because he shook his head and put his finger against her lips.
“Yes, Diamond, you and I both share some of the Senator’s defense mechanisms. But right now I’m talking about me.”
A frown stole across his face and he shook his head. His voice was contrite.
“I need to talk to you about what happened at the Aegean Club. What I did to you in the hallway. I didn’t realize, Diamond, how truly angry I was with you. I was furious that you could think that I was interested in Marjorie Chapman. On reflection I realized I was angrier with myself. I know now t
hat Marjorie is a symptom of my attitude and behavior toward women. I use them. Marjorie simply underscores how I’ve used women like her to protect my need to be alone, not to be connected to anyone.”
He leaned forward and stroked her cheek. “I should be embarrassed by what I did to you in that hallway, Diamond, but I’m not. After I took you against that wall, I was horrified that I allowed my anger to control me. But it wasn’t anger that made me take you like that, baby, it was pure unadulterated desire. A level of desire that I have never come close to feeling for another woman.”
Diamond struggled with the mix of emotions that were making it impossible for her to breathe, much less try to respond. Ian was saying things she never believed that he would say, much less believe. Every rational part of her wanted to push him away, tell him she didn’t believe him or, that maybe she did. She didn’t know which was worse. Before she could articulate any of her conflicting emotions, he continued.
“You need to know, Tiger, that something has happened to me that I never expected. You happened. I can’t get you out of my mind, Riley Davis. You haunt me, you frustrate me, you make me angrier than I’ve ever been in my life. But you also make me smile, make me eager to see you, make me feel empty when you leave. Most of all I want you, Diamond. Not for a passing night or a fancy party. I want you in a way I’ve never wanted a woman. I want you by my side, in my arms, in my life.”
He rose to his feet. “I have to go to New York for the next couple of days. But I couldn’t leave you without telling you how I feel about you. I know you’re angry with me, and you have a right to be. Suggesting that you become my pretend lover, my whore, was the most idiotic thing I have ever said in my life. What I didn’t realize then, was that I was too cowardly to tell you that I wanted you to be my real lover.” He added with a smile, “I also wouldn’t mind some of that naughty girl who lives a lot closer to your surface than you admit.”
He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.
“Take care of yourself, Tiger. Get better or I’m going to spank your ass. You hear?”
He added, “Don’t worry, Col. Davis. Now that I’ve bared my soul to you, I won’t harass you. The next move is yours, Tiger. I promise I’ll let you make that move, whatever it is, in your own time.”
He hesitated for a moment in the doorway, then said, “Be well, Tiger.”
Then he was gone.
~~~
Diamond didn’t know how long she lay in the bed struggling with her wildly conflicting emotions. She was relieved when Ruby suggested that she have dinner with her and Noah in the dining room. Diamond agreed. She would do anything to quiet the buzzing hive of hornets tormenting her brain.
“Do you want to talk about it, Diamond?”
Noah’s solicitous question caught her attention. Horrified that she might have said aloud some of the things that had been rioting in her mind, she asked as innocently as she could.
“Uh, what…I don’t understand. Did I…say something…weird?”
Noah and Ruby exchanged an amused glance.
“No. At least nothing that I could understand. But you’ve been muttering under your breath since you joined us.”
Knowing that she was blushing, Diamond tried to offer an excuse. “It…it must be the pain medication. I don’t do well with medicine. I never have. It affects me oddly.” She added hurriedly, “And…I did have a fair amount of Maker’s Mark today. Ruby can testify to that. Can’t you, Ruby? Tell Noah how much we drank.”
Ruby laughed. “Yes, girlfriend, I can testify to the fact that we women hit the bottle today a little more than we usually do. However I’ve seen you drink a lot more, Boss Lady. But you’re right. There were the pills…”
Diamond’s relief died when Noah lifted a thoughtful brow and nodded as if in agreement. “I see. That must be it. I thought perhaps you were distracted by the fact that my boss finally confessed that he is in love with you—something that I know he has never done with another woman in his life.”
Diamond couldn’t hide her shock.
“No, you…you don’t understand.… He isn’t—”
“He isn’t what, Diamond? In love with you?” Ruby frowned. “Hmm, well I’m not exactly a relationship guru—Noah can testify to that—but even I know when a guy is ass over elbows in love with a woman.”
Diamond started to stand up, but a wave of dizziness stopped her. Damn, she really had had too much to drink on top of pain medication. It was no wonder she felt discombobulated. She was almost relieved when she realized she must have misheard some of the things Ian had said.
She looked up to see Noah looking at her sympathetically. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that Ian loves you, Diamond? All of us have known that he does for months, if not years.”
Diamond shook her head. “No, you don’t understand. He doesn’t, he can’t.…”
“Hmm, is that why he wouldn’t let any of the medics touch you yesterday? Why he insisted on calling in the leading surgeons at Walter Reed for what thank goodness was a relatively minor wound? Why against all hospital orders, he insisted on going into the operating room with you? A first in Walter Reed history, by the way.”
When she didn’t answer, he continued. “Do you know that Ian saved your life yesterday?”
Diamond stared at him, not understanding.
Noah explained. “When Tiffany turned her pistol on you Ian made the most miraculous shot I’ve seen. He literally hit her pistol wrist as she fired. If he hadn’t, it’s likely her bullet would have killed you.”
Diamond was confused. “But…my shot—”
“Hit the wall behind Tiffany. She’d already fired by the time you did.”
“But…but… Ian said that I saved the Senator.”
“You did, Diamond. If you hadn’t been there, Tiffany would have shot my father when he told her he’d never loved her. You drew her fire away from him to yourself. It was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“So…Ian lied….”“No, Diamond. He didn’t lie. He simply refused to take any of the glory that was rightfully yours.”
After what seemed like hours with a thousand thoughts crowding her brain, Noah asked softly, “Why is it so hard for you to accept that the finest man I know is madly in love with you, Col. Davis?”
Diamond stared at him and shook her head. She knew that it would take her a lifetime to answer his question.
Epilogue
“What is it, Manuel? I believe I asked you not to interrupt me unless it was important.”
“My apologies, Sir, but you have a delivery. The packaging seems to indicate that it is of a critical nature.”
“Fine. Bring it up, but leave it outside the door. I’ll get to it when I’m finished.”
“Yes, Sir. Again, please accept my apologies for interrupting you.”
Ian dragged a distracted hand thorough his hair. He knew he should be embarrassed. He’d been unnecessarily short with Manuel. But then, by now his long-time aide likely expected it. Hell, he’d been short with everyone lately, from the highest-level clients to his personal staff. Even his trusted agents had commented on his irascibility.
It wasn’t hard to figure out what was bothering him. In his private hours late at night nursing his third or even fourth Scotch, Ian admitted that he’d never thought that Diamond would blow him off the way that she had. Goddammit, he’d poured his heart and soul out to her like some lovesick puppy dog. Only his situation was worse. At least a puppy dog would have earned a pat on the head. But what had Diamond done with the declaration that he’d never made before in his life? She’d ignored it.
Granted he’d told her the next step was hers. It had to be. She was clearly shocked when he told her that he loved her. He assumed that it would take her several days to respond. But according to Noah she’d left Washington two days after he went to New York. Thanks to frequent reports from Ruby or Jase via Sapphire, he had a day by day accounting of Riley’s whereabouts. He’d given up on seemingly casual qu
estions. Pseudo-nonchalance didn’t seem to fool anyone. Now he simply asked the unfortunate person he was harassing at the moment straight out. The answer was always the same: it seemed as though Colonel Davis had become something of a recluse—at least that’s what her friends told him.
Now after ten long days he’d begun to accept that she would not be calling. What made it doubly hard was that he knew that Diamond loved him. Maybe not as much as he loved her, but he’d seen below the protective mask that she wore. He’d never forget the way she reacted to him that night in the infamous hotel. Painfully shy at first, it was as though he’d found a key to unlock passionate reserves his lovely conquest didn’t know she had. But then he hadn’t known that he could experience the rhapsody he felt with her. Unless he truly wanted to wallow in his misery, Ian didn’t allow himself to remember taking her against the wall. Noah was right. The escapade in the service hallway was the hottest thing he’d ever done; too bad that it seemed to have driven his would-be lover’s resistance to unscalable heights.
At Manuel’s soft knock, Ian strode to the door and said impatiently, “I told you to leave it at the door, Manuel.” Yanking the door open with an annoyed grunt, he stepped back in amazement at sight in front of him.
Diamond was standing in the doorway dressed in a charcoal gray, belted trench coat. She was carrying a large canvas satchel. Brushing by him, she said with an indifferent nod, “The sender preferred to deliver the package in person.”
With an effort, Ian found his voice that seemed to have taken up residence somewhere between his knees and his groin. He responded with what might be the understatement of the century in as nonchalant a tone as he could manage.
“Hmm, that does seem preferable to leaving it at the door.”
Diamond walked across the room, casually swinging the satchel at her side. When she reached his large conference table, with an effort she hefted the cumbersome bag onto the table.