by Brandon Witt
Darwin held him off as Cody tried to kiss him again. “Actually what? What is it?”
Cody flushed brighter pink than Darwin had ever seen. He didn’t seem to be able to meet Darwin’s eyes. “Well, you said that at some point… if I wanted… we could change, er… that I could….”
“Oh!” Darwin felt his eyes widen. “Oh! You want to switch roles? You wanna be the top?”
“Is that okay? We don’t have to.” Cody glanced at him but turned away before he finished speaking. “I’ve never… so I probably won’t be very good at it.”
Darwin paused, surprised. He’d never. “I’d love to be your first, Cody.”
Cody flushed even brighter. “Well, you’re not my first. I mean I’ve had sex before.”
Darwin couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Uh, yeah. I’ve caught that. I’d love to be the first guy you do that with.”
Cody met Darwin’s gaze once more, and there was that new determination or clarity again. “I’d kinda like you to be my only. Ever.”
“I’d like that too.” Darwin knew it was crazy. They hadn’t even been together two months. And they were just coming down after a nearly life-ending trauma. But it didn’t make it any less true.
Cody seemed speechless and looked near tears.
Darwin propped himself up and gave him a quick kiss. “Let me get ready. You get the condoms and lube. I’ll meet you in the bedroom.” Cody got off him, and Darwin started to stand. “Oh, and light some candles, please. I know it’s the middle of the day, but it’s your first time. There should be candles.”
It had been a while since Darwin had been in this position, and he felt nearly as awkward as Cody. There were bumbling starts, sharp cries when Cody went too fast, and a pause when the condom ripped and they had to get a new one. But through all the nerves and false starts, there was laughter.
At last, Darwin got on top, straddled Cody and sank down slowly onto his erection.
Cody traced Darwin’s bobbing cock as Darwin started to make a rhythm, and he smiled. “Doesn’t this still make you the top?”
Darwin chuckled. “Maybe technically, but from the way you’re stretching me out, I’m pretty sure you’re the entire top in this situation.” He thought there was a glint of something… disappointment, maybe, in Cody’s eyes. “Actually, hold on. And I mean that literally. This will take some talent.” He pulled Cody up to a sitting position and gave him a quick kiss. “Now, we’re going to roll, and you’re going to stay in me. And I promise I’ll get better at taking that thing of yours from other positions.”
Miracle of miracles, they made it. Within half a minute, Darwin’s legs were propped on Cody’s shoulders, and he was gazing up at his beautiful man, Cody’s dark bangs hanging between them. “Wow. You are even more beautiful from this angle. That shouldn’t even be possible.”
“No, that would be you, Darwin. I never dreamed someone like you would want me.”
“With all of my heart, Cody.” There were no what-ifs in that statement. No worries that threatened to cheapen it. It simply was what it was. He was in love with Cody Russell.
Cody leaned down and pressed their lips together.
Darwin reached around, clasping Cody’s hips and forcing him in deeper. When Cody pulled back from the kiss, the hesitant look in his eyes was gone. And as he began to build a rhythm, Darwin watched the change flow through his lover. He didn’t have words for it. But it was beautiful and awe-inspiring. “You’re liking this, huh?”
“Oh yeah.” Cody’s voice was husky and labored with his thrusts. “We’re going to do this more. A lot more.”
“Hell yes, we are.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Cody Russell
As he moved inside Darwin, Cody couldn’t quite figure out what was going on with his thoughts or his body. It felt amazing, Darwin’s tightness and heat, but honestly, it didn’t feel as good as the other position. But still, there was something.
The way Darwin lay beneath him. His muscles flexing as he arched his hips to meet Cody’s thrusts. All of his beauty there for the taking. The look in his eyes as he gazed at Cody—the love, the heat, the… trust.
That was it.
Darwin trusted him. Fully. And he was giving every ounce of himself to Cody. Even after everything.
It didn’t make sense, but it didn’t change the fact that it was pouring out from Darwin. His trust and his love.
Cody bent down to kiss him, not breaking the rhythm of his thrusts. Before their lips met, Darwin spoke, his words soft and heated. “In another couple of months, we should get tested. I want you in me without the condom. I want to feel all of you, feel you release in me.”
Cody hesitated a moment, his eyes searching Darwin’s, looking for the catch, the joke. Still, there was only love and trust. He kissed Darwin, feeling happier and more at home than he had in his entire life.
Even when he came, his body jerking, he didn’t break the kiss but offered up every emotion he had into the connection. Every unspoken promise.
ManDonna tossed a lock of her long red wig over her shoulder and raised her arm in the air, waving her purple-tipped fingers at Cody from the stage. “I’m thrilled to announce our favorite little twink is back home!” Most of the people filling the tables turned and looked to where Cody was seated with Darwin. They waved at him, and he gave a small, nervous wave back. ManDonna pulled their attention back to her. “He’s not serving tonight, so don’t try to place any orders with him. Unless you have a special request you’d like to watch him and his hunky boyfriend act out.” She paused, tapping a pointed fingernail on her lips. “Actually that’s not a bad idea.” She turned to a muscle boy wearing only a jockstrap standing to the side of the stage. “You, new boy, make a list of the top five positions from the Kama Sutra. I’ll get my camera ready.” She motioned back to where Cody and Darwin sat. “I’ll record that shit, and you two will be the next big gay stars.” ManDonna’s gaze narrowed back in on Cody. “And if you ever try to leave us again, I’ll cut you, you little bitch.”
Even from across the room, Cody could feel the earnest love from her. Darwin wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled Cody against his chest. “You doing okay?”
Cody nodded. It was a bit overwhelming. But okay. Good, even. Steven and Pat had wanted to do a welcome-back party, but he’d begged them not to. It would have been too much. There’d have been too many questions.
Darwin leaned closer again. “If you need to leave or take a break, you just—” He quit talking. Cody craned his neck around so he could see Darwin. Darwin’s eyes were huge. “Oh. My. God.”
Cody followed his gaze. “What?”
Darwin snorted out a laugh but kept his voice low. “ManDonna’s new guy? It’s Mark.”
He watched the nearly naked gorgeous man wander through the crowd, choosing different men for Family Feud. There was something familiar about…. “Oh my God.”
“Yep.” Darwin laughed again, louder this time. “That is hilarious.”
Cody wasn’t sure how hilarious it was. The man was the picture of perfection. In every way.
“Hey, Cody, what is it? What’s wrong?”
He wasn’t sure if he was that bad at hiding his thoughts or if Darwin already knew him that well. Cody started to deny anything was bothering him, but he’d been doing that for too long. “I disrupted your date with him. If I hadn’t….” His throat constricted, but Darwin didn’t interrupt, waiting for him to be able to speak again. “I will never look like him. Ever. And you could’ve avoided all of this. You wouldn’t have to worry about… well, worry. I know you do.”
Darwin pulled him closer, wrapping his arms tighter across Cody’s chest. He kissed Cody’s cheek before responding. “I was already going to leave that date. Mark was about as interesting as… well, I don’t know what. Just not interesting. At all. But I’m glad I met him here that night. It brought you to me. I can’t imagine anything sadder than missing out on you.”
It didn’t ma
ke sense. If you placed Cody and Mark side by side, there wouldn’t be one person who would pick him over Mark. But Darwin had, and somehow still would.
“I wish you could see how amazing and beautiful you are, Cody.” Darwin kissed him again.
The strange thing was, sometimes when Darwin kissed him, looked in his eyes, or held his hand, Cody could almost believe it.
“Fuck, you two. You trying to make ManDonna’s dreams come true and start fucking right here at the bar?”
They both turned, Darwin still not letting Cody go. Vahin grinned at them from the other side of the bar. “Good to have you back, kid. Not the same without you.”
Steven walked up from behind Vahin, bumped into him with his hips, and gave him a leering grin. “Quit flirting and get to work.”
“Don’t be jealous, boss man. Just because I don’t put out for you….”
Steven scoffed. “The day I find something you won’t put out for is the day I close this place down.”
Vahin smacked his boss on the ass. “And don’t you forget it.” He walked away, but not before letting the camp fall away, giving Cody a wink.
Steven rolled his eyes at Vahin’s back, and Cody wondered, not for the first time, if there was anything between the two men. Steven turned back to him and Darwin. “I don’t want to interrupt, I’m sure it’s a bit overwhelming to be back, not to mention ManDonna will kill me if she notices I’m drawing your attention away from her, but I just wanted to tell you that Pat mentioned to me your concern over not being able to continue seeing your therapist after you’ve reached the max of visits your insurance will cover.”
Cody knew where Steven was going and started to protest.
“Not a word about it,” Steven cut him off. “And it’s not up for discussion. You’re one of us. An important part of our Mary’s family.” His gaze darted to Darwin. “Do whatever you have to do to make sure our too-proud man here lets us do this for him.” Like Vahin, Steven turned back to Cody with a wink before walking away. “Or you’re fired.”
It was too much. Too much kindness, too much exposure. Maybe even too much pressure.
“You okay?”
Cody nodded in response to Darwin’s question, but his words seemed unable to lie. “I don’t know.”
Darwin didn’t speak for a bit, but when he did, his tone had a guarded quality. “Is it that you’re uncomfortable with the idea of others paying for you or that you don’t want to be in therapy much longer?”
Cody pulled away and met Darwin’s gaze, knowing how important this question was. “I want to be in therapy for as long as I need. I don’t plan on being in that space ever again.”
Darwin’s relief was so palpable, it hurt Cody to see. “Good. I’m glad. And, honestly, I was planning on asking my folks if they’d help out. I don’t have the finances yet, but they do. And I’m sure they would.”
“No. Please don’t do that.” Cody was sure Darwin’s parents would pay for as long as he needed. “Darwin, please don’t ask them.”
Darwin lifted his hand and cupped Cody’s face, running his thumb across his cheek. “I love you with all of my heart, Cody. And I’m not the only one who does. We’re your family now. Me, my family, and all of Mary’s. Let us treat you like family.” Darwin’s eyes filled with unshed tears. “Let me love you. Please. I promise to let you love me this way too.”
Cody didn’t answer. He couldn’t. He forced a small nod, then angled himself back the way he’d been and leaned against Darwin’s chest. And when Darwin wrapped his arms around him, Cody crossed his arms over Darwin’s, intertwining their fingers together as he forced his attention back to the stage.
ManDonna smacked the host stand and pointed toward the plywood Family Feud board while giving a death stare to one of the contestants. “No, Sean, a ball gag is not something you use in place of a dildo.” She rolled her eyes dramatically at the crowd. “He’s pretty, folks. We can give him that at least.”
Cody let out a long breath and sank further into Darwin’s embrace. He was safe. And he was home.
Vodka & Handcuffs
CHAPTER ONE
Marlon Barton
The child on the sidewalk made Marlon begin to pull the car over, but he straightened the wheel at the sight of the woman in the headscarf who knelt beside the boy. He didn’t think he could handle the fallout. Then he noticed the woman dabbing at blood on the boy’s head. Changing his mind again, Marlon jerked the cop car right to the curb and stopped several yards ahead of them.
“Fuck, man. First day driving?” Andrew glared at him from the passenger seat.
“Sorry. I was debating if we needed to stop or not, but the kid is bleeding.”
“The kid….” Andrew twisted around in his seat and let out a groan. “Are you serious? He had a bike wreck. He’s sitting up, and his mom is there. Let’s go do something important.”
Marlon started to respond, but Andrew continued.
“Actually maybe this could work out. Might get us a terrorist.” He turned, a wide grin darkening his expression. “I like how you think.”
God, Marlon hated this. Being a cop had always lived up to his childhood dreams, mostly. Until the last few months with his new partner. “You know that’s not what I’m thinking. Stay here and call it in. I won’t take more than a minute if everything is okay.”
Andrew’s smile grew. “I’ll handle it. You’re too soft. Who knows what she’s wearing under that heebie-jeebie.”
“God, you’re an ass, Andrew. It’s a hijab. And that woman isn’t even wearing one. She’s got a headwrap.”
Andrew shrugged. “You’d know.”
Marlon flinched before he could stop himself. He had almost gotten used to Andrew’s negative comments about other races, but there hadn’t been many directed at him. For the billionth time, he wondered what he’d done in a past life to deserve Andrew Morris as his partner. “And, again, Andrew, you’re an ass. Stay here.”
He didn’t often pull rank and tell Andrew what to do, knowing he had to use those moments sparingly if they were to have an effect. He could see this situation going badly, very badly, if Andrew got out of the car. The possibilities were enough that he wished he’d not stopped at all. Too late now.
Marlon unbuckled his seat belt, opened the car door, and stepped out. He glanced at the woman and child. She’d noticed the cop car, of course. He offered what he hoped was a friendly wave, before pausing to open the trunk. He sighed. Why had he asked Andrew to organize the equipment? It looked like the moron had tried to juggle and then left everything where it had fallen. Pushing the collapsible traffic cones and a breathalyzer to the side, Marlon retrieved the first aid kit and pulled a couple of latex gloves from their box before shutting the trunk. He was surprised Andrew wasn’t standing there waiting for him. Apparently miracles did happen.
Turning from the car, Marlon plastered a smile on his face. The last thing he needed was for his irritation with Andrew to show.
As he walked the half a block on Montclair Street, cars zoomed past, their tires splashing through puddles left from the afternoon Denver spring rain. Marlon hesitated for half a second as the woman’s eyes met his. She was gorgeous—her dark skin healthy and glowing, the bright orange and yellow of her kaftan contrasting with the pink blooms on the crab apple tree. Without the stress lining her eyes, she would’ve made a stunning portrait. He laughed at himself. It seemed he’d inherited some of his mother’s photographer sensibilities.
Marlon paused a couple of feet from the mother and child—at least he assumed that was their relationship. “Hi, ma’am. Just noticed your boy had an accident, and I wanted to see if I could help.”
She glanced down and shook her head.
He hadn’t expected that. “You, ah, don’t want me to help?”
Still not looking at him, she spoke. He didn’t understand the words, but he could hear the worry in her tone. Worry he didn’t think had anything to do with her son’s accident.
He lifted the
first aid kit, flicked open the lock, and held it out for her inspection. “I’d like to help.”
After a second, the woman looked at the kit, then lifted her gaze to Marlon’s once more.
Marlon gestured with his chin toward the boy. “May I help?”
Another pause, and then she nodded. He’d noticed that his own dark skin helped other minorities feel safer, but that didn’t seem to be the case with this woman. Probably here illegally. He cut off that line of thought and chided himself; maybe Andrew’s attitude was contagious.
After a minute, the boy, whose anxiety seemed to be caused more by the bike accident than Marlon’s presence, relaxed, only flinching as Marlon cleaned the cut.
As he knelt beside the boy, Marlon rambled on about the kid’s bike, how it seemed intact, about his own nephews’ and nieces’ bikes, and how he wished he had some cartoon Band-Aids to use instead of the boring peach-colored ones.
It all took a matter of minutes. The cut wasn’t so bad now that it was clean. Which was a good thing. If it had been worse, he had no idea how he would have convinced the mother to see a doctor.
Marlon had relatched the first aid kit and stood as a male voice called out. He glanced toward the sound. A black man, wearing tan slacks that were too big for him and a white button-down shirt, hurried down the cross street toward them. For a second, Marlon tried to make sense of what the man was saying, but then the woman called out to the man, making Marlon realize the guy hadn’t been speaking English or even talking to him.
By the time the woman finished her brief explanation, Marlon had stood.
The man’s dark eyes met Marlon’s, and there was wariness and a bit of a challenge in them.
Marlon started to offer a handshake, then thought better of it. “Looks like your boy is okay. I was just trying to help.”
The woman said something else.