NOT JUST A WALLFLOWER

by Carole Mortimer

  He nodded. ‘For years I have believed my mother and father to have been so engrossed in their love for each other, in their need to be exclusively with each other, that they had no room or love to spare in their lives for me, their only child,’ he rasped. ‘And now this evening my mother has told me—I can trust you not to discuss this with anyone else...?’

  ‘Of course.’ She bristled slightly at his need to ask.

  He nodded distracted. ‘This evening I have learnt what my mother and grandparents have always known, that my father was a hero and worked secretly for the crown for many years. That he risked his own life again and again. And latterly my mother chose to put herself in that same danger, when she insisted on travelling with him after I had gone away to boarding school. The two of them succeeded in collecting information which has saved many hundreds of lives over the years.’

  And it was obvious, from the mixture of pain and pride Ellie now detected in Justin’s voice, that he had not decided as yet how he felt about that...

  Not surprising, really, when he had so obviously become the cynical man that he now was because for so many years he had held a quite different opinion about his parents.

  It also confirmed Ellie’s previous belief that this might also be the reason Justin had repeatedly declared he had no intention of being in love with his own wife, when the time came for him to marry and provide an heir. For what man, who had believed himself to have been excluded from his parents’ lives because of their all-consuming love for each other, would ever want to inflict that same neglect upon his own children?

  Ellie moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue as she chose her next words carefully. ‘I am sure that both your mother, and the dowager, understand your feelings enough to realise you will need time in which to completely absorb and adjust your thinking concerning the things you have been told this evening.’

  Justin glanced at her. ‘How would you feel if you were to learn that your own father had not been who you thought all these years?’

  Ellie shrugged. ‘I hope that I would eventually find a way to come to terms with that truth.’

  Justin’s eyes glittered. ‘That would surely depend upon who your father is!’

  ‘Was,’ she corrected softly.

  ‘Well...yes,’ he conceded awkwardly.

  ‘It appears your own father was something of a hero.’ Ellie said, sensing that they were now talking slightly at odds with each other, as if Justin’s conversation was about something entirely different to her own. ‘And I have every reason to believe, despite never having met him, that my father was an honourable man, at least.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Unless...’ she eyed him warily ‘...you have heard otherwise?’

  Too late Justin realised that he had allowed his mother’s revelations, and an overindulgence of brandy after not eating enough at dinner, to loosen his tongue in a way he would not otherwise have done and had now appeared to have cast doubts in Ellie’s mind about her own father.

  How much worse would those doubts be if she were ever to discover that both Justin and the Earl of Richmond, suspected Dryden Litchfield of being her real father, as a result of his having raped her mother!

  Damn it, here he was, wallowing in self-pity—probably exacerbated by that overindulgence of brandy, the effects of which seemed to have dissipated entirely during the course of this current conversation—when the truth was his own father had been a hero of major proportions, his mother, too, when they had both decided to travel to places that were often highly dangerous.

  What an idiot he had been. How utterly bloody selfish. Instead of getting blind drunk, what he should have done earlier this evening was get down on his knees and thank his mother for all that she and his father had sacrificed for their king and country.

  His mother had been right, of course, in that he had forgotten those years before he went away to boarding school. Happy and contented years when Justin had his mother’s almost undivided attention, interspersed with weeks or months when his father would return to them and the three of them would then do those things together.

  Eleanor, on the other hand, had no memories whatsoever of any father, either in her childhood, or now. Frederick would have been less than useless, he thought acerbically. And the one Justin might give her, if Litchfield should indeed prove to be her father, was nothing short of a nightmare.

  ‘I have not heard anything detrimental about Henry Rosewood, no,’ he answered carefully.

  ‘You seemed to imply otherwise a moment ago...?’

  ‘If that is so, then I apologise. I assure you, they are nothing more than the ramblings of an inebriated man.’ He swung his booted feet to the floor before sitting up on the side of the bed. ‘I apologise for having disturbed your rest, Eleanor. I believe I shall now go to my own bedchamber and endeavour to sleep off the effects of my over-indulgence.’

  There was no denying that he had been inebriated when he’d first entered Ellie’s bedchamber, but she did not believe that to be the case now. Nor did she care for the way in which the conversation had turned to the subject of her own father just a few minutes ago, then just as quickly been deflected by Justin. As if he were privy to some information which he did not intend to share with her...

  His next comment in no way alleviated that suspicion. ‘Good lord, look at the time!’ He glanced down at the watch he had taken from the pocket of his waistcoat. ‘You are right, my mother and grandmother will be returning at any moment and they must not find me here in your bedchamber when they do.’ He replaced his pocket watch before straightening in preparation for departing.

  Ellie now sat up against the headboard of the bed, her legs curled up beneath her. ‘Justin, you would...share the information with me, if you were to learn anything of my father which might damage the dowager duchess in society?’

  He turned to look at her sharply. ‘And what of your own reputation?’

  She shrugged. ‘I came from obscurity and will quite happily return there, but I could not bear to think that I had caused the dowager, or indeed yourself or your mother, any social embarrassment before I did so.’

  Justin’s expression softened. ‘And would you not regret or miss anyone or any part of that society on your own account?’

  Having been reluctant at first, Ellie knew she would now miss many things. The warmth and kindness of Edith St Just, and now her daughter-in-law, for one. The friendship of Magdelena Matthews, which, never having had a close female friend before now, had become so very dear to Ellie these past few days. And lastly, she would miss Justin himself.

  She had not spent all of her time earlier this evening in bathing and eating a light supper, but had found more than enough time in which to dwell on what she truly felt for Justin. To come to the realisation, that much as she might wish it otherwise, she was indeed in love with him to the extent that, if she ever were to be rejected from society, from his society, that she might, out of a need to be with the man she loved, even go so far as to accept his offer, if he were ever to make it, of becoming his mistress.

  ‘I should miss the St Just family,’ she now answered him honestly. ‘You have all been extremely kind to me—’

  ‘I have not been in the least kind to you, Eleanor!’ he contradicted harshly.

  ‘But of course you have.’ Her expression softened as she looked across at him. ‘Your...methods of doing so may have been slightly unorthodox,’ she allowed ruefully. ‘But, nevertheless, you have done much to make it possible for me to be accepted into society.’

  That might be so, Justin acknowledged with inner frustration, but he also held the knowledge that would allow that same society to completely shun her!

  Damn it, something would have to be done about this situation with Litchfield, and sooner rather than later.

  Chapter Sixteen

/>   ‘Something must be done about Litchfield, Richmond!’ Justin voiced that same sentiment the following afternoon, scowling across the distance that separated the two men as they sparred together at Jackson’s Boxing Saloon.

  ‘I agree—if only so that you no longer feel the need to try to beat me into the canvas!’ Lord Bryan Anderson drawled ruefully after Justin had landed a particularly vicious jab to his jaw. Both men were stripped to the waist, the perspiration from their efforts obvious upon their sweat-slicked bodies.

  Justin drew back. ‘Damn it! I apologise, Richmond.’ He straightened before bowing to the other man, as an indication that he considered their bout to be a draw and now over.

  The Earl of Richmond eyed him curiously as they strolled across to where they had left their clothes earlier, his muscled physique appearing that of a much younger man, the hair on his chest reddish-gold rather than the premature white upon his head. ‘Your concern for your young ward is...admirable.’

  Justin paused in towelling himself in order to give the earl a sideways glance. ‘Your implication being...?’

  Richmond chuckled softly. ‘She is a beautiful young lady.’

  ‘And possibly in possession of a father who is considered as being anything but a gentleman!’

  The older man appeared thoughtful as he sat down to towel off the worst of the evidence of his own physical excess. ‘And does that fact affect your own regard for her?’

  ‘Do not be stupid, man!’ He scowled.

  ‘Some men might feel—’

  ‘Then some men do not know how to appreciate a diamond when it is placed in front of them.’ Justin’s scowl darkened as his face emerged from pulling his shirt over his head.

  ‘But you do?’

  His mouth twisted. ‘So much so that I am giving serious thought to—’ He halted, realising he was being indiscreet.

  ‘Yes?’

  Justin changed his tack. ‘Eleanor cannot be held responsible for who her sire may be.’

  ‘Even if it should indeed turn out to be Litchfield?’

  ‘Even then,’ he said grimly, having realised the previous evening, after he had chosen to go to Eleanor’s bedchamber to confide in her, that his ‘regard’ for her was of a more serious nature than he had previously allowed for.

  His mother’s revelations about his father seemed to have somehow stripped away all of his defences, to such a degree that he could no longer hide the truth, even from himself.

  He had been so determined to maintain his lack of emotional involvement where women were concerned, that he had not fully understood until after he had returned to his own bedchamber the previous night, completely sober but unable to sleep, the difference she had already made in his life.

  The main change had been that he had moved back into Royston House, after years of refusing to do so. He might have excused that move to Eleanor as the need for him to be close at hand if his grandmother should become ill again, but inwardly he had always acknowledged that it was really Eleanor, and the need he felt to protect her, most especially from men such as Litchfield, that had been his primary reason for returning home.

  A need to protect her which had just resulted in a deeper, even more startling, realisation...

  ‘It is curious, is it not,’ Richmond continued slowly, ‘considering Litchfield’s licentiousness, and obvious disregard for whether a woman consents or not, that there are not more of his bastards roaming the English countryside.’

  Justin shrugged. ‘We do not know that there are not.’

  ‘Then perhaps we should make every effort to prove that?’

  ‘For what purpose?’ Justin asked curiously.

  Richmond avoided meeting his gaze as he buttoned his waistcoat. ‘I have my reasons.’

  ‘Which are...?’

  ‘I would prefer not to discuss them at this point in time.’

  ‘Damn it, Richmond!’ Justin exploded. ‘If you have any knowledge whatsoever that might indicate Litchfield is not Eleanor’s father, after all, then for God’s sake have a little pity and share it with me!’

  ‘Why is it so important to you?’ the earl asked.

  Justin glanced away. ‘My grandmother is very fond of Eleanor—’

  ‘And you are not?’ Richmond derided.

  Justin’s jaw tightened. ‘Mind your own damned business!’

  ‘I trust you will forgive me for saying so, but my impression is that you have become more than a little “fond” of Miss Rosewood yourself.’

  Justin’s eyes narrowed to steely slits. ‘You go too far, Richmond!’

  ‘It is to be hoped, as Miss Rosewood is a young lady unprotected in the world by any but your own family, that you have not gone too far with her yourself,’ the older man warned.

  Justin drew himself up to his full, impressive height. ‘I have appreciated your assistance this past week, Richmond, and have always regarded you as more than just an acquaintance, but that does not give you licence to question me about my relationship with Eleanor.’ Especially when Justin was unsure himself, as yet, as to exactly how to proceed with her!

  The two men’s gazes clashed in a silent battle of wills, Richmond the one to finally back down as he sighed. ‘I apologise if I have given offence, Royston.’ He gave a stiff bow.

  ‘Your apology is accepted.’ Justin smiled. ‘In fact, if it is not too short notice, then why not join us for dinner this evening at Royston House, and then you may see for yourself how ill-treated Eleanor is!’ he teased.

  ‘I would never accuse you, or any member of your family, of ill treatment towards anyone,’ Richmond protested.

  ‘I trust you will allow me to make Litchfield the exception, if it becomes necessary?’ Justin drawled, cracking his knuckles meaningfully.

  ‘Let us hope that it does not.’ Richmond grimaced. ‘I have heard tell that your mother has recently returned to town.’

  ‘All the more reason for you to rescue me from yet another evening of dining in an all-female household!’

  The earl gave a rueful smile. ‘In that case, I believe I should very much enjoy dining with you and your family this evening, thank you.’

  ‘It is settled then.’ Justin, now fully dressed and ready to depart, nodded his satisfaction with the arrangement. ‘As it happens, I am expecting another report on Litchfield to be delivered later today, which we might discuss once the ladies have left us to our brandy and cigars.’ But, considering the pounding in his head when he had finally woken up at lunchtime today, and which had still not completely gone away, Justin very much doubted he himself would be imbibing!

  * * *

  ‘I had no idea that you were so well acquainted with Richmond!’ The dowager duchess eyed her grandson curiously as the family gathered in the Blue Salon that evening to await the arrival of their dinner guest.

  It was the first time that Ellie had seen Justin since he had left her bedchamber so late the previous evening. She had left the house that morning before he had appeared, hopefully suffering with that severe headache she had predicted the night before when he did!

  Although he did not appear to be suffering too badly this evening...

  Just to look at him in his black evening clothes and snowy white linen, the last of the sun’s rays shining in through the windows giving his hair the appearance of molten gold, the severity of his features thrown into light and shadow, those piercing blue eyes sharp with intelligence, was enough to make Ellie’s heart beat faster, much to her own annoyance.

  She had been unable to fall sleep the previous night once he had left, as she thought over all he had told her, and realised how those things must have affected his views about marriage.

  It was easy to see how, as a child, Justin would have made the assumptions he had concerning his parents long and frequent absences, and
what he had believed to be their almost obsessive love for each other that they would abandon their only child in order to be together.

  Just as she now believed it was the reason he had decided that such a love in his own marriage was not for him.

  Unfortunately, that understanding made absolutely no difference to how she felt about him.

  It was no longer the girlish infatuation she had felt for his rakish good looks and arrogant self-confidence just a few short weeks ago, but a deep and abiding love that would surely cause her heart to break when she had to leave him. As she surely must. Loving him as passionately as she did, marriage to another man had become an impossibility for her. But she also had to accept that one day Justin had to marry, if only to provide his heir—and she could not remain at Royston House as witness to such a cold and calculated alliance.

  Except he was not married as yet, or even betrothed.

  * * *

  ‘Can you possibly be referring to Lord Bryan Anderson?’

  Justin had been surreptitiously watching Eleanor until that moment, as he admired the creamy swell of her breasts visible above the low neckline of the deep-emerald silk gown she wore, a perfect match in colour for her eyes and lending a deep richness to the red of her hair as she sat demurely in the armchair beside the unlit fireplace.

  It took some effort on his part to turn his gaze away from her beauty in order to concentrate on answering his mother’s query. ‘He is recently returned to society himself following the death of his wife last year.’

  ‘I had no idea the countess had died!’ A frown now marred his mother’s brow.

  ‘Possibly that is because you have hidden yourself away in the country these past three years?’ the dowager reminded her.

  ‘Yes.’ Rachel nodded distractedly.

  Justin was at a loss as to what significance the death of Richmond’s poor wife—surely a blessing to all concerned, after so many years of suffering?—could possibly have to any of them personally.