‘Great. I’ve liked you for ages you know. You’re brilliant at your job.’
‘You’ve only known me a couple of months.’ Then she shushed him. ‘Hi, can I have a taxi to the Ape and Apple please? Yeah, the one on John Dalton Street. It’s for Ben. Okay, cheers.’
While they waited in the entrance to the pub, Ben again tried to put his arm around Em.
‘When you get home, go straight to bed.’
‘Come with me,’ he said pathetically.
‘I can’t. Besides you’re plastered and Rhia might ring at any minute.’
‘She fucking won’t. She’s not arsed. At least you care.’ At which point he kissed her on the cheek and tried to turn her to face him.
‘Ben! Give over,’ she said firmly, moving her head away.
‘What?’ He asked innocently.
‘You’re taxi’s here. Come on, make an effort.’
She pushed him into the waiting vehicle and closed the door after him. He wound down the window as the cab pulled away and stuck his head out.
‘You’re sure you don’t want to come back with me then?’
Em laughed, shook her head and watched the taxi drive off.
The following morning Ben awoke with the vague feeling that he’d done something wrong. He couldn’t put his finger on it straight away but he was sure that it would come to him before long, bad things had a way of turning up sooner rather than later.
After a quick shower to wake himself up he dressed for work and noticed his mobile phone on the floor next to the bed. He hoped he hadn’t made any offensive calls in his drunken state; when he was nineteen he’d apparently rung his parents in the middle of the night from outside a club and told them he thought they were crap parents and that he hated them. The morning after he’d wandered downstairs for breakfast with no recollection of the call. It was soon clear that something wasn’t right when his mother started to cry and his dad told him that he wouldn’t be getting any more meals, and that he was more than welcome to get out of his house any time he wanted.
He rolled into work a typical twenty minutes late and thanked God for Flexitime. Since Tits-up Tuesday, his hours had been dropping dramatically and he would need to work full days for a week just to catch up. Having stopped to make a coffee, he flopped into his chair and immediately spotted a note from Em on his desk.
‘Hope you are feeling better this morning. Come and tell me if she rang.’
He got up and walked over to Em’s desk, still thinking about what he may have done to cause offence to someone the previous night. She appeared from the toilet as he arrived and smiled when she saw him.
‘I hope you feel crap this morning.’
‘No worse than usual,’ he replied. ‘Should I?’
‘You were in a right state. Did she ring then?’
‘No. At least I don’t think so,’ he said, unsure.
‘Good job, the way you were rambling on last night.’
‘Oh God. What was I saying?’ This must be the bad thing.
‘Only that Rhia hated you and how she’d never cared. I couldn’t shut you up.’
‘Shit. Sorry,’ Ben replied sheepishly.
‘So you don’t fancy giving me a kiss today then?’ She asked with a smile.
‘You what?’
‘Well, you seemed dead set on the idea last night. Even invited me back to yours for ‘coffee’,’ she gloated as Ben squirmed.
‘I didn’t? Shit, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I don’t even bloody remember it.’
‘It’s fine, but don’t do it again, a girl could get the wrong idea and do something silly. I really think you should lay off the booze. Especially if there’s a chance Rhia might come back.’
‘After last night, definitely. I’ll leave you to it before I offend you any more,’ he said and went back to his desk.
That evening Ben returned home to find a message on the answering machine. He played the tape, hoping to hear Rhia’s voice for the first time in a month. Instead, her sister’s voice, sounding extremely mad, confronted him.
‘You dopey sod. You almost had me feeling sorry for you as well. All I asked you to do was leave her alone until I had a chance to talk to her but as usual you knew best. Thirty-seven times you rang her mobile last night, not that any of your messages made any sense you were so pissed. Well, you’ve blown it now. As far as I’m concerned she’s better off without you. Fuck off and leave her alone. Dickhead!’
Ben stood in the hallway, stunned. He thought the bad thing had been his pass at Em. No wonder his mobile was on the floor by the bed, he must have been ringing Rhia half the night. He felt numb and had to stop himself from ringing to explain. He’d been given a chance to speak to her, had even got Fran on side, and now he’d gone and fucked it up superbly.
Chapter Twelve
‘Mmm, he was gorgeous; I’d have done him right where we stood if I could’ve got away with it. Either way, he was worth the wait, knew exactly what to do and when to do it.’
Jen was regaling Katie with details of her latest conquest as they ate lunch in Apertivo 18 on Fountain Street, one of their favourite Italian restaurants. She hadn’t seen Norm again since spending a fantastic night with him earlier in the week. She hadn’t rung him because she’d a policy of never chasing a man, and Norm hadn’t rung her so she assumed that he wasn’t interested. This saddened her slightly because she’d genuinely liked him, but it hadn’t stopped her having a good time.
‘I bet you still managed to show him a couple of things. What was this one called?’ Katie asked, taking a big bite out of her baguette.
‘His mate called him Al or Ali I think. I didn’t ask,’ Jen replied, without a trace of regret.
‘So what about that bloke from last weekend then?’
‘Norm? Probably still recovering, he was well out of his league with me,’ she boasted.
‘Slag,’ Katie said, ‘You’ve had more people go through you than the turnstile at Alton Towers.’
‘Cheeky bitch! I can’t help it if I’m irresistible now can I. Besides, everyone gets what they want.’
‘Yeah, but don’t you ever want more than just one nighters? You must like some of them enough to see them again?’
‘Not worth the hassle mate. I want them the same way they want me and it suits me for the moment. Besides, I see some of them more than once,’ Jen protested. She thought about Norm and wondered again if he’d any intention of calling her.
‘Yeah, but only once in a blue moon. You’re like an eternal student, forever getting pissed and waking up with blokes you hardly know.’
‘God yeah. In my last year at uni, every girl in my flat was at it all the time. Three of them had boyfriends as well. They were all lovey dovey with their blokes but when they weren’t there it was all change. There was always someone dragging themselves down to casualty for the morning after pill,’ Jen remembered.
‘If parents knew what their sweet little daughters were really like there’d be uproar.’ Katie laughed. ‘Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday we’d have a bottle of gin while we got ready and then drink anything while we were out. Some of the creatures I woke up with. God knows how I got a degree out of it.’
‘Oh I know.’ Jen nodded in agreement as she picked at a tomato slice on her plate.
Suddenly, Katie’s mobile phone began to ring in her bag. She picked it up and looked at the screen to see who was calling.
‘Who is it?’ asked Jen.
‘Don’t recognise it,’ she replied quickly, her face reddening slightly as she switched off the phone.
‘Fuck off, who was it?’ Jen insisted.
Katie realised she’d been caught out. She wasn’t a liar by nature, and Jen knew her too well for her to even try to make something up.
‘You’re going to go mad when I tell you this, but bear with me alright?
Jen was intrigued and stopped playing with her salad.
‘I got home from work the other night and there was a note
from Dave under my door.’
‘The Tosser?’
‘Yeah. Then two minutes later he rang me up.’
As she continued with her story the expression on Jen’s face changed from one of interested surprise to one of disappointment and then annoyed frustration at her friend’s actions.
‘So you’re fucking well seeing him again? After he chucked you out and went off with someone else, you dived into bed with him at the first time of asking?’
‘Come on, you’re always jumping into bed with people before they even get round to asking.’
‘Maybe. But they haven’t broken my heart and generally played me for a mug.’
‘So I’m a mug now?’ Katie asked, angered by Jen’s predictable reaction.
‘What’s going to happen when he fucks off again? Or have you forgotten the state you were in last time?’
‘No, but he’s being so nice. I’m not going to jump in and get hurt again. I’m just enjoying being with him for the moment. It’s no big deal, honest.’
‘Yeah yeah.’ Jen said, the expression on her face saying she didn’t believe a word of it.
‘Look. I know he hurt me. A lot. But I never really got over him. All I’ve been doing was distracting myself from wanting him and when he rang I realised I wanted to see him. I know what you think and you’re right, but I can’t help how I feel.’ Katie looked up for a response.
Jen looked at her in silence for a moment, then smiled and shook her head.
‘You really are beyond help you know.’
Katie smiled back. ‘I know. So shoot me.’
‘I’d be doing you a favour if I did. Let’s go.’
They spent the afternoon shopping before Katie said she had to get going because she was cooking a meal for Dave and herself that evening. Jen smiled despairingly and wished her luck. On her way home, Katie stopped off at the supermarket to buy food and wine for the evening, as well as a box of candles to place at strategic points around her flat.
She spent the next few hours cooking and tidying up before having a bath. She put some Tigi shine spray on her hair and then blow-dried it. Then she selected her sheer white underwear, Dave’s favourite because he said it showed her off, and her grey DKNY trousers which went perfectly with the fitted grey shirt she’d bought earlier in the week from Oasis. After running into the kitchen to check on the progress of the food, she then applied some liquid foundation to give her pasty skin, a result of sleepless nights and early starts, some much needed colour. A subtle lipliner from her Mac collection, a few strokes of Mascara, a squirt of Escada Sport and she was ready.
A nerve-wracking ten minutes later the doorbell rang and she let him in.
‘You look fantastic,’ Dave said enthusiastically, kissing her on the cheek, ‘and smell delicious.’
Katie lapped it up, ‘If it’s a chickeny sort of smell then it’s not me I’m afraid.’
He laughed and kissed her again as they walked to the couch. While she went to serve the food, he opened some wine and poured them a glass each. She switched off the lights and they sat at the table to eat, leaving the illumination to the candles she’d lit and placed around the room.
‘This is great,’ he said, looking around the room, ‘all of it.’
‘Is the chicken okay?’
‘Perfect.’
‘Good answer, you win a prize,’ she said mischievously.
‘Cool. What do I get?’
‘Me. All night.’
‘Oh,’ he looked disappointed, ‘lucky me.’
‘Fuck off you cheeky shit,’ she said, clearing the plates.
He laughed and poured some more wine for them both. After dessert, Marks and Spencer’s luxury Tiramisu, they headed for the couch with another bottle. The couple spent the evening talking and cuddling and, after further drinks, Katie rolled off of him and headed for the bathroom.
‘Bed time already?’ Dave asked as she left the room.
‘Why? Are you sleepy?’
He smiled and lay back on the couch. After a few minutes had passed he sat up to see where she’d got to. Suddenly, the door opened and Katie stood there in nothing but her underwear. He knelt on the couch to take her in more fully.
‘Bloody hell,’ he managed as he stared, ‘Is that my prize?’
‘It’s bed time.’
* * * * * *
‘Christ Rhia! Are you still in bed?’
‘I don’t feel too clever,’ she replied without opening her eyes.
‘Do you want me to call the doctor? It might be something serious you know.’
‘I’m just tired Fran, I’ll be all right.’ She wished her well-meaning sister would take the hint and leave her alone.
‘If you say so,’ she said doubtfully, ‘I can’t help being worried though can I?’
Rhia knew her sister wouldn’t be so concerned if she knew the real reason she felt so dreadful.
‘At least I put that pillock in his place for you,’ Fran continued in an attempt to lift her sister’s spirits.
Rhia opened her eyes. ‘What?’
‘Ben. I rang him and told him to fuck off and leave you alone after…’
‘What did he say?’
‘It was his machine. Which was good because it meant he didn’t get chance to butt in.’ She sounded pleased.
‘Great.’ Rhia groaned, closing her eyes again.
‘I thought you’d be pleased. Hopefully he’ll take the hint at last and you can sort yourself out,’ she said and left the room.
This last comment stuck in Rhia’s mind. The last thing she wanted now was for Ben to decide to give up on her. She was going to have to see him soon, speak to him at least. There was no need to tell him anything that would lead to endless questions and tears until they’d got back on agreeable terms. What she needed from him first was understanding, love and his arms around her. Then she could get around to ruining his life all over again by telling him about the pregnancy and the affair that led to it. She let out another loud groan and tried to think of anything apart from what a heartless bitch she was.
Chapter Thirteen
To Katie, it seemed like the last two weeks had passed in a blur. She’d gone from feeling, well, nothing if she were honest, to feeling lighter. Now that she’d admitted to herself that she was still in love with Dave, everything else had become easy. She went to work in a good mood because she knew that, even if she had a bad day, she was only the property of Fontaines until five o' clock. She’d also started to make more effort with her appearance, not that anyone had commented one way or the other, but she noticed and felt better because of it. Even though Dave was still a bastard and a weasel, something that he’d confessed to being the other night for ever leaving her, and she was supposed to be taking things slowly, Katie had a good feeling about the new improved Dave.
She was lying on the couch, thinking about the previous evening and how much she’d enjoyed it. It had been the fourth time that Dave had stayed since the reconciliation although they’d spoken every day, apart from when their work schedules clashed and he had left sweet little messages on her answering machine.
She glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed that she hadn’t moved for almost an hour. This was another aspect of her life that was improving. In the weeks since she’d moved back to her own flat, she’d thanked herself countless times for not letting it go when she moved in with him; she’d come in, shower and change, cook a meal and then spend the evening out with friends, or on the phone, looking out at the canal and the occasional barge chugging past. She hadn’t realised then, but she’d been keeping her mind occupied to fill the gap and stop herself feeling miserable.
Now that she’d been honest with herself, now that Dave had come to his senses, there was no need to rush round like an idiot pretending everything was roses and sunshine, because now it was. She looked at the clock again. He would probably call her soon, ask about her day and arrange to see her after he finished work if it wasn’t too late. Then she
’d tell him to have fun at the bar and not to be too tired if he did come over.
An hour later she was sitting on her bed, towel drying her hair, when she glanced at her watch. She immediately went to her answering machine to see if there were any missed calls. There were no messages and when she pressed 1471, the monotone voice told her the last call had been her mother in the middle of the afternoon. Why she did this was a mystery to Katie, as she knew perfectly well that she’d be at work. It had crossed Katie’s mind in the past, that her mother was trying to catch her out by calling at these odd times, then she could go all motherly and ask lots of questions.
Having dried her hair but not bothered to dress, Katie switched on the television to avoid staring at the phone. She was annoyed that he hadn’t bothered to ring, but gave him the benefit of the doubt. He must have been busy and would probably call after work, maybe even come over to see her again.
After a slow and frustrating evening of reading magazines, watching television and painting her fingernails and toenails, something Katie rarely bothered with, she decided to admit defeat and go to bed. She’d waited all night and Dave hadn’t called and he evidently wasn’t going to arrive on her doorstep or he would have been here by now. Tired, and agitated, she shuffled off to bed, taking the cordless phone with her just in case.
The following morning, she woke up feeling exactly the same as the previous night. She spent the day shut in her spacious new office, which was part of her sudden and unexpected promotion, sulking like a lovesick teenager. Since he hadn’t called on her mobile during the day, Katie reasoned that there would be a message waiting for her when she got home. A single look at the answering machine told her that there weren’t any, not even her sneaky mother had bothered today.
Giving him the benefit of the doubt was all well and good, but what if he was lying in a pool of blood in his flat, unable to get help? She waited until the time of his usual evening phone call and again he didn’t ring. Deciding that it would be foolish to wait any longer, Katie decided to call him and see what he was playing at. If he didn’t answer she would assume he was lying in a wounded state and phone an ambulance later on. Depending on how angry she was.
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