“What does Miss Elizabeth look like? Is she handsome?”
Shaking his head at his cousin, Darcy again submitted in defeat. “I should have known you would not give up. I shall tell you all now, and then you must leave me be on the matter.” His eyes took on a faraway look as he began. “Yes, Miss Elizabeth is pretty. She is amongst the most handsome women of my acquaintance. She has lovely chestnut brown hair and sparkling, expressive, brown eyes. She is funny, passionate, lively and warm. She loves to read and walk about the countryside. She mocks me whenever she can, and I cannot seem to get enough of it. She is irresistible.” Mr. Darcy smiled, lost in memory for a minute, before adding, “She used to despise me, I am sure, but we met once under . . . unique circumstances . . . and I believe we understand each other better now.”
Richard sat back in awe while listening to his cousin. He had never heard Darcy say anything beyond a slight compliment about a lady. Never had he expressed such admiration. Richard watched, fascinated, while his cousin spoke about Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Darcy absentmindedly took out his pocket watch and, after opening it, continued to speak while he stared at it. The action confused Richard, and he wondered why his cousin felt the need to check the time while speaking of Miss Elizabeth.
When Darcy finally finished, he sat quietly looking at his watch. Richard was puzzled about his cousin’s continued distraction but pushed the thought away and asked, in a serious tone, “Do you love her, Darcy?”
Mr. Darcy snapped the lid of his watch shut and lifted his head to look at his cousin in alarm. He could not speak anymore of Elizabeth. The fact that his feelings were so obvious to his cousin spoke only of the great distance he still needed to cover in order to forget his feelings for her. Speaking the words out loud would brand their truth into his heart, and he could not do that.
He pulled his face into one that brooked no argument. “I do not wish to speak of this, Richard.”
His cousin put his hands together and stared at him in mocking challenge as he raised one eyebrow and again questioned with equal fervor, “Are you in love with her, Darcy?”
Mr. Darcy glared at his cousin and fumed in anger at his blatant disrespect for his privacy on the matter. After a while, he could not handle his cousin’s mocking countenance and finished his drink in one gulp. The warm burn down his throat nearly caused him to cough, and he stood abruptly and walked away from his cousin to the window. Holding his arms rigidly behind his back, he looked angrily out the window, trying to ignore his cousin’s challenging gaze.
Richard watched him for a moment before asking yet again, this time in a softer, more brotherly tone, “Are you in love with her, Darcy?”
He watched his cousin’s anger slowly melt away and his jaw relax as he dropped his head as if in shame and moved his arms up to support himself against the windowsill. Richard was amazed that such a simple question could turn his cousin into the broken man before him. The sound of his cousin’s strained voice captured his attention.
Mr. Darcy spoke barely above that of a whisper, “Yes. Yes, I am in love with Miss Elizabeth Bennet; irrevocably, incandescently and thoroughly in love with her.”
Richard’s face spread into a huge smile at his cousin’s declaration and he stood up jovially to join him. Placing a hand on his cousin’s shoulder, he said spiritedly, “Well then, Cousin, when will I be wishing you well?”
Darcy turned pained eyes to him. “You do not understand, Richard; it can never be.” He dropped his arms to his side and went back to his chair, sinking into it and once again pulling out his watch. Richard watched his cousin’s actions with confusion.
“I do not understand, Darcy,” Richard stopped when he saw his cousin look up at him and shake his head. He sat down and offered sympathetically, “Ah, I see, she is already spoken for. I am sorry, Darcy.”
Darcy simply shook his head slowly, as he continued, absently looking at his watch. “No, she is not.”
“She is not?!” Richard puzzled that for a moment. “Then she does not return your regard? That is difficult, but not hopeless. Perhaps with time —”
“No!” Darcy interrupted and lifted his head as if in thought for a moment. Richard watched as some memory flitted across his brow and turned his expression into one of momentary happiness, the likes of which he had before never seen on his cousin. But his face fell again into sadness as he spoke. “That is to say, I do not know for sure. She may return my feelings. If she does, it is that much worse, for it can never be.”
“Why ever not, Cousin?” Richard was losing his patience, and he reached out to grab his cousin’s watch.
Darcy pulled it away just in time and returned it to his pocket before looking at his cousin with frustration. “You want to know why? You want to know why I cannot have the only woman I have ever loved? I shall tell you.” Darcy’s sudden, heated passion surprised Richard as he rushed on in his frustration, “Because of my duty to my family, to Georgiana, to my station! That is why!” He sank back in his chair as his sudden ire burned away just as quickly as it had begun.
“Your duty to your family? To Georgiana? What is this nonsense, Darcy? You cannot be speaking of Anne, can you?”
“No, I am not speaking of Anne,” he shot back angrily.
“Thank goodness for that! I never anticipated you were ever serious about Aunt Catherine’s nonsense that you must marry Anne.” Richard shuddered.
“Richard, you do not understand. Elizabeth may be a gentleman’s daughter and a lady, but she has no fortune and no connections.”
Richard huffed in disbelief. “You do not need her fortune, Darcy.”
“I know that, and I really do not even care about it. But what of her connections? What if I were to marry her and the ton did not accept her? What if Aunt Ellen and Uncle Henry reject her and she is shunned? I could not subject her to that, and I owe it to your parents and Georgiana to marry well.” He pulled his watch out yet again and held it in his hand.
“My parents will not shun you for your choice of wife. You are a gentleman; she is a gentleman’s daughter; so far you are equal.”
Darcy stared at his cousin as his mind registered his words. When put so plainly, it made it seem that the mountains between him and Elizabeth were as nothing.
“I do not know, Richard. What if you are wrong and I marry Elizabeth and they do reject her. I do not know if I can take that risk,” he said dejectedly.
The fact that Darcy had now twice referred to Miss Bennet by her Christian name was not lost on his cousin. Richard’s anger began to rise at this ridiculous reasoning. Darcy was totally in love but ready to live a life of unhappiness merely because of a few convoluted notions of duty.
“I cannot and do not believe that, Darcy. Your reasoning is not sound. Lord and Lady Matlock, the elite of the ton, your illustrious aunt and uncle, love you. They want only for your happiness, and you know that. They will accept anyone you choose and will champion that person against the rest of London — hell, England if need be! You are the one holding yourself back because of some convoluted, inane notion of duty. Go right ahead then, Cousin. But I will not support you in this foolishness.”
He stood abruptly and grabbed at his cousin’s watch, this time successfully taking it from him. “And what the deuces is so fascinating about the time?” he asked as he opened the watch and caught sight of a little silver silk flower. He looked questioningly at his cousin regarding the strange object as he turned the watch to show Darcy.
Darcy just looked back at him offering no explanation at all.
Richard pinched his lips together as he realized that the object must belong to Miss Elizabeth and somehow his cousin had obtained it, most likely by suspicious means. He burst into laughter as he tossed the watch back to his cousin and strolled towards the door, calling back over his shoulder, “You are absolutely hopeless, Darcy!”
Mr. Darcy pinched the bridge of his nose as he heard his cousin’s laughter all the way down the hall and listened, as it did not stop mo
cking his ears until after Richard had exited the house. His mind was heavy with the words his cousin had said. He did not know what to think but could not ignore the inkling of hope that sprang into his chest. It had felt good finally to declare aloud the love he had for Elizabeth. A weight lifted even as a new burden fell upon his shoulders. Do I dare hope?
Chapter 13
Mr. Darcy looked up from the letter in his hand at the knock on his study door. He folded the sheet and placed it under a book on his desk as he went to open it.
“Hello, William. Am I disturbing you?”
Darcy smiled at his sister and pulled her into an uncharacteristic embrace. He took her hand to lead her into the room. “Not at all, Georgie. Is everything all right?”
“I am well, thank you. I wished actually to speak with you for a moment if you are not otherwise engaged.”
Darcy’s eyes flashed to the book on his desk with the letter he had just received from Wickham hidden underneath it. There is no need to worry, he kept telling himself. Georgiana is here, and she is safe. Wickham was just trying to goad him as always. Darcy saw his sister’s concern and realized he had not answered her.
“No, Georgiana, I was not working on anything important. What is it you wished to speak to me about?”
Georgiana played with her fingers in her lap as she worked through the words she wanted to say. Usually he was the one caring for her but now she worried for him. “Did you and Cousin Richard have a fight, William?” A direct approach seemed like the best idea until she looked up to see her brother’s sour expression.
Darcy sat in the chair next to her and took her hand. “No, dear.”
Georgiana’s brows came together in confusion. “But he has not been back to visit since before Christmas a week ago. Have I offended him?”
“No, Georgiana, you must not worry. I suspect he has been busy with his regiment, and you remember, we saw him just days ago at Aunt Ellen’s Christmas dinner.”
“Yes, we did. However, I also saw that whenever he spoke to you, he walked away chuckling while you were frowning.”
“Richard always finds things to tease me about, dear, you know that. He has just found something particularly interesting this time; that is all.”
Darcy looked at his sister as she simply nodded her head. It was not like her to approach him about something like this, but it made him happy that she felt confident enough to do so. When he thought about it, he had noticed other times when she asserted herself more in their conversations, even challenging him. He was far from unhappy about it as it made him hopeful that she was recovering, growing into a stronger version of herself. He looked towards his desk again, remembering Wickham’s words. He was not going to let that man control him or dictate their lives.
“Georgiana, how would you like to go shopping today? There is a bookstore on Brook Street I would like to visit, and it is near several of the shops I know you enjoy. Would you accompany me?”
Georgiana’s face lit up at the offer, and she smiled brightly. “I would like that very much, William. When would you like to go?”
“Will a half hour be sufficient for you and Mrs. Annesley? I have just a small amount of business to attend, and then I will be ready.”
“That will be fine. I will meet you in the vestibule then.” She leaned over and hugged her brother tightly around his neck. “You are the best brother!” She kissed his cheek and skipped happily out of the study, closing the door behind her.
For a moment, Darcy was stunned by her enthusiastic approval of his proposal. It made him feel guilty that he had not offered to take her out more often since his return to town. If doing a little shopping were all it took to make her happy, he would gladly spend the money.
With renewed determination, he strolled over to his desk and took out a sheet of paper to write to his cousin.
Richard,
Received this note from Wickham today. He says he is watching us. I will have my men look out for him near our house. –F.D.
Darcy retrieved Wickham’s letter and folded it within his own. After sealing it, he took it to Mr. Carroll to post with the rest of his correspondence and went up to his chambers to prepare to go shopping with Georgiana.
* * *
Elizabeth had just finished placing the last pin in her hair when she heard giggles outside her door. Her little cousins had taken to trying to frighten her whenever she left her room in the morning by hiding behind the door. She had been in London for a week now and was enjoying herself. The change of scenery was, indeed, helpful for her, and she relished in the undivided time with her aunt.
She smiled as she heard whispering and giggling in anticipation from the hallway. She quietly donned her slippers and tiptoed to the door. Carefully, she turned the handle, waiting to see if her young cousins had heard her, but they were still whispering and giggling. Swiftly, Elizabeth pulled open the door and roared, causing them to shriek and laugh as she chased them down the hall.
“Come here, you little urchins! I am going to get you all!” She laughed as she grabbed one little squirming body and ran to catch up with the other. Just as her arm came around the small waist, the youngest cousin, Peter, appeared in front of her.
He took his thumb out of his mouth, stood as tall as his four-year-old self could get and put his hands out menacingly. “Boo!”
Elizabeth loosened her grip on the other two and pretended to be frightened as she stumbled backwards onto a bench with her hands over her heart. The children wiggled away to stand next to their younger brother. They all laughed and then the little ones came to hug their favorite cousin.
“Good mornin’, Cousin Lizzabet. I sure scared you,” Peter said.
“You most certainly did, Peter!” She laughed as she mussed his hair. The other two children took her hands to lead her down the stairs.
Her Aunt Gardiner turned towards them as Elizabeth entered the breakfast room, escorted in a most gentlemanly fashion by her nine-year-old son.
She gave her cousin a proper curtsy. “Thank you for escorting me, Master Edward.”
This appellation caused the younger boy to stand proudly taller as he performed a perfect bow. “It was my pleasure, Cousin Elizabeth.”
Madeline Gardiner laughed softly and reached for her niece’s hand. “I hope they did not come too early this morning, Lizzy. They did not wake you, did they?”
Elizabeth smiled indulgently at her cousins. “Not at all. I was awake.”
Her aunt studied her for a minute and then smiled. “You look well this morning, dear. You must have slept better than you have been, for your cheeks are bright, and you seem in good spirits this morning.”
But Elizabeth had not slept well. Her thoughts of Mr. Darcy had followed her to London. Before she left Longbourn, Jane mentioned that Mr. Darcy was standing up with Charles at the wedding, now just over three weeks away. Knowing that she would see him again caused a mixture of feelings. She was excited and nervous at the same time. She did not know how he felt about her, and she was afraid to hope in that regard. However, she was convinced, regardless of his feelings for her, that she would forever love him.
“I slept well enough, I suppose. Perhaps I am just excited for our shopping trip today, Aunt. Where are we to go?”
Her aunt laughed at her enthusiasm. “I have a friend from school whose husband owns one of the finest milliner’s shops in London. It is on Brook Street. Would you like to go there?”
Elizabeth squeezed her aunt’s hand and shot her eyebrows up as she nodded her head and smiled.
“Very well, then, have your breakfast, and I shall order the carriage.”
* * *
Wickham adjusted the newspaper he held and lowered the brim of his hat when the front door to Darcy House opened. He had been sitting on a bench in the park across the street for a while. In frustration, he turned a page of the paper. An entire week had passed, and he was still not completely able to work out enough of Darcy or Georgiana’s schedules to determine the
best time to surprise and accost them. He especially wanted a chance to speak to Georgiana alone and have her deliver his final threat to Darcy.
Darcy was everything loyal and predictable when it came to those about whom he cared. Wickham snarled to himself and let out a low chuckle. It was this predictability that had always given Wickham the upper hand. He knew well enough that, when it came to those he cared about, Darcy was willing to protect them at any cost. Wickham had sent Darcy the notes in hopes of familiarizing his old friend with a bit of fear, so that when the time came for Wickham to lay his final claim on the table, Darcy would do anything he demanded.
Wickham peeked slyly over the edge of his paper to see first Mrs. Annesley and then Georgiana exiting the house. He began folding the paper while he watched. Today may be my day to speak with Georgiana, he thought with satisfaction. A moment later, he frowned as Darcy exited the house and handed the ladies into the carriage.
He watched Darcy look down both sides of the street. Wickham dipped his head as Darcy’s gaze briefly washed through the park and passed over him. He smiled to himself at the obvious effect of his most recent letter. Darcy was at least taking him seriously, which was a good sign. Wickham raised his head when he saw Darcy enter the carriage and leave with his sister.
In frustration, Wickham finished folding the paper and slapped it across his leg. Once again, Darcy had accompanied his sister, and he would not get his opportunity that day. He walked apace to where he had tethered his horse near a tree and rode off through the park. As long as Darcy was with them, he knew he would have no chance of finding Georgiana alone.
* * *
Elizabeth and her aunt entered the milliner’s shop with happy determination. They had enjoyed their discussions so far that morning as they went from shop to shop.
“Well, Lizzy, this is my friend’s shop, and we have saved the best for last, I daresay. What is left on your mother’s list for Jane’s trousseau?”
Falling for Mr. Darcy Page 21