by Ruby Moone
“There’s no need to be nasty,” he said, putting the cake back on the plate, not sure what was upsetting David so much.
“For the love of God, Jeremy,” David yelled. “I should have let you be. I should never have taken you from Fallows’ place, I should have let you live your life in peace. Instead I embroiled you in the cesspit that is my life, and almost got you killed.” He was shouting and gesturing wildly. “I almost got you fucking killed, and you didn’t even try to defend yourself by telling them that it was me all along!”
Jeremy was open-mouthed. “I came with you because I wanted to.”
“You came with me because I made it impossible for you to stay.”
“I came with you because I wanted to. I wanted you. I wanted to be with you. Do you imagine I want to be anywhere else but here with you?”
“Well, you bloody well should want to be somewhere else!” David’s face was red, his eyes glittering, and he was shaking he was so angry. Everyone around the table was motionless. Staring at their respective plates.
Jeremy got up carefully, like one would when approaching an angry dog. He took the few steps needed to stand in front of David and took hold of one of his hands. He was surprised when he let him hold it.
“I am here because I want you, I trust you, and I love you.”
David screwed his eyes shut. “Stop saying that,” he said in a tortured whisper.
Jeremy took his other hand and watched as Jo, Mr. Kendrick, and the others got up from the table and quietly left, closing the door behind them, leaving Jeremy holding David’s shaking hands.
“I will keep saying it until you believe me.” He ran his thumbs over David’s knuckles. “I love you.”
“I am not the sort of man that people love.” David’s voice was low. His eyes still closed. “I let people down, I lie, steal, cheat…”
“You have never let me down.”
“I did. Can’t you see? You got thrown out because of me. You got thrown in Newgate because of me.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“You did. I left the pearls in my pocket.”
Jeremy’s eyes widened. “Well, that was a little careless.”
David groaned. “There you go again. You should hate me for being so reckless, so unforgivably careless.”
“I don’t hate you.” Jeremy leaned forward and kissed him softly on the corner of the mouth. He opened his eyes and they stared at each other for a moment.
“I thought I’d lost you,” David whispered. “Thought I’d lost you.” He searched every inch of Jeremy’s face, gaze roving over and over, fingers carding through Jeremy’s hair. “Thought I’d never hold you again, kiss you again, love you again.” He dropped soft kisses all over Jeremy’s face, punctuating his words. “Thought I’d never see you in the violet dress that matches your eyes.” He lingered over his lips, sipping, tasting, nibbling until Jeremy moaned softly and kissed back. They kissed gently for a moment, exploring, re-learning, but then the kiss deepened, and Jeremy sank into him and they kissed hard, deep, and with such emotion. David’s arms trembled, and Jeremy could feel the wetness on his cheeks and wasn’t sure if the tears came from him, David, or both of them. They moaned into each other’s mouths, words of love and need and then David pushed him back until Jeremy hit the edge of the table. Jeremy sank his hands into David’s hair and held his head steady, so he could kiss him harder, deeper, and he felt him whimper. He widened his stance and David pushed between, Jeremy could feel how hard he was, how his desperation matched his own. He wanted to absorb him. Take him in, never let him go. The table screeched backwards, almost tumbling them to the floor. David staggered, and grabbed Jeremy and they clung together, looked at each other, and then laughed. Laughed and laughed and laughed. Clutching and holding, swaying and touching, until both of them wept together.
Chapter 23
“I will get into bed if you come with me.”
David sighed. He was coming to recognise that mulish look. It was barely afternoon, but Jeremy looked faint with exhaustion. David was still embarrassed by his emotional outburst and wanted to get away before he said or did something even more foolish, but Jeremy needed him. He shrugged and started undressing. Jeremy smiled the smile that lit up his entire face, and crawled into bed, nightshirt and all. He settled on the pillow, hand under one cheek, and watched as David peeled out of his clothes. It was arousing, and by the time he got to his smalls he hesitated. Jeremy’s eyes were wide. He ran his tongue over his lips and David’s heart clenched in his chest. This beautiful man wanted him. Still wanted him after everything that he had done. He shook his head and pushed the garment over his hips and freed himself.
Jeremy licked his lips again. “Pleased to see me?”
“Cheeky…” David bounded onto the bed and pulled the coverlet back. He wrestled Jeremy out of the nightshirt and settled between his thighs, brushing hard cocks together and feeling as though he had come home.
“You are too tired for this,” David said, squirming on top of him so he could feel every part of his naked body and touch it with his own.
“I probably am,” Jeremy said, and promptly yawned.
David rolled onto his back and pulled until Jeremy was laid partly over him, his head on his chest. “I’m sorry,” he said, stroking Jeremy’s dark, silky hair.
Jeremy kissed his chest. “It’s all been a bit emotional.”
David closed his eyes. He couldn’t for the life of him fathom why Jeremy was so sanguine about the whole affair. Why he wasn’t ripping into him and tearing him and his family apart.
“You are quite the master of the understatement.”
Jeremy rubbed his cheek against David’s chest. “And you are the master of the overreaction, if I might be so bold.”
David was so shocked he couldn’t reply. Overreaction?
“I wish I could haven take you to visit my parents,” Jeremy said, kissing him on the chest again, this time edging closer to his nipple. “You might understand me a little better then. They are all very calm and loving.”
“I’ll wager you were a delightful child,” David said, shifting so he could run his hand down Jeremy’s spine and rest a hand on the curve of his backside.
Jeremy looked up with a grin. “I was adorable.”
David had to laugh. He was still adorable.
“Tell me about your childhood. What were you like?”
David sucked in a breath. What was he like?” “Not adorable,” he said drily. “We were ostracised because I was born out of wedlock. My mother told people in the village she was a widow, but I don’t think people believed her. They preferred to judge. Like I said, I grew up angry.”
David ran his hand up and down Jeremy’s back. “When my mother died, and I ended up in London on my own, I was taken in by a family and they taught me how to thieve and beat me when I didn’t.”
Jeremy’s looked up at him, a frown drawing his brows down.
David nodded. “They saw me as their property and…sold me to the highest bidder regularly. I quickly learned to ape the aristocracy.”
Jeremy’s frown deepened, and David held his breath. “Sold you?”
He nodded. “Men pay well for boys.”
Jeremy propped himself up on one arm. “Pay well?”
David couldn’t say the words. “Use your imagination. Anyway, Bill Kendrick saved me from them. Taught me how to thieve properly and took me in. Gave me a family and saved my life. That’s where I got to know Jo. She’s the sister I never had.”
He couldn’t look at Jeremy. It only took a moment for Jeremy to slide from his arms, lay on his back, and pull David so he could lay on his chest. David hesitated, but then slid over Jeremy. One leg over his, head on the hardness of his chest and closed his eyes as he held him tight.
“Thieving isn’t a trade,” he muttered after a moment.
“If you live in the rookeries, it is,” David said, squeezing Jeremy’s hip. “It stood me in good stead. I’ve made an absolute
fortune.” He could feel Jeremy tense beneath his hands. “I know, I know, it is taking things that don’t belong to me, but I’ve been able to help so many people it’s worth it.”
“Are you going to continue?”
David hesitated. “I’m looking at my options.”
“And what are your options?”
“Possibly working for the king. Enough questions now, it’s time you slept.” He dropped a kiss on Jeremy’s chest.
“Doing what? How would you work for the king?”
David looked up at him. “Enough of that now. We need to concentrate on getting you free and clear. We need to see Charnley and make sure Standish isn’t a threat any more, and he has managed to smooth your disappearance over. We both need to sleep. I’ll wager you haven’t slept since they took you. I know I haven’t.”
Jeremy’s face softened. “You haven’t?”
“Of course not,” David growled, lifting his head to kiss him. They lay together for a little while, gently kissing and touching until Jeremy started to wilt.
“Come,” David said, rolling him so he could spoon up against his back.
“We need to talk,” Jeremy said, around a huge yawn.
“We’ll talk, don’t worry.”
David could feel the heat of his body as he held him close. It concerned him, but Jeremy drifted off to sleep quickly, and David followed suit.
In the early hours, David woke to find Jeremy drenched with sweat and moaning softly as though in the grip of a nightmare. He shifted this way and that.
“Hush,” David said softly, taking hold of him and gathering him close, but Jeremy pushed him away.
“Hot,” he muttered. “Too hot.”
David hesitated, fear lodging itself in his throat, then got out of bed, threw on a robe, and headed to the kitchens to get the draught Jo had recommended. He’d thought they’d managed to fight off the feverish tendencies Jeremy showed when they got him out. The thought that they might return filled him with dread. He hurried back up the stairs, and Jeremy was awake.
“Where were you?” he croaked. “I woke up and you were gone.”
“I went to get you a draught and something to drink. You were feverish.”
Jeremy pulled at the sheet on the bed. It was damp, and so was his nightshirt.
“I have a headache.”
“Take this.” David poured the medicine, fairly sure it contained laudanum, and held it out. Jeremy struggled to sit up but made it and then held out a hand. He took it, shuddered, and gave the cup back to David.
“The whole bed is damp.”
David scratched his head, and then went to find a linen closet. Feeling pleased with himself, he returned with clean sheets to find Jeremy fast asleep. Mouth open, snoring softly. He looked at him and shook his head before stripping off the top sheet and covering him with a fresh one. He pushed the blankets to the foot of the bed, so he didn’t get overwarm, and lay down beside him, shivering. The room was freezing, but the heat from Jeremy’s body kept him warm. He lay beside him and watched. He would not damn well lose him to a fever, not after everything that he had gone through. David took hold of his hand and tried not to think about the last time he held someone’s hand when they had the fever. His mother had been weak. Jeremy was strong. He clung to that thought.
* * * *
Charnley arrived on David’s doorstep appallingly early in the morning. David hadn’t really slept but had dozed off in the early hours. When he awoke, he was more relieved than he could ever say to find Jeremy sleeping peacefully, apparently fever free. David swallowed as he held his hand to Jeremy’s brow. His breathing was steady, even. He leaned over and dropped a kiss on his forehead, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he did so. It was hard to breathe for a few moments.
When Jo came to the room to tell him he had a visitor, he left the bed reluctantly and pulled on a robe before bracing himself to meet with his half-brother.
“Good morning,” Charnley said, looking trim and fresh.
“Morning.” David yawned behind his hand and smiled at Mrs. Crawford who disappeared to make some tea. “Do have a seat.”
They sat opposite each other in matching leather chairs either side of the study fire.
“Is he safe?”
David hesitated for a moment, and then nodded.
“Good. We now need to deal with Standish.” Charnley rubbed his mouth.
“First, I want to offer my thanks.” The words didn’t come naturally, but David felt they needed to be said.
Charnley looked surprised. “It was nothing.”
“You had to endure attending a hanging. That’s hardly nothing.”
His brother dropped his gaze. “Well. No.” He cleared his throat and they sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment or two. Charnley was the first to speak. “How much do you know about the situation on the continent?”
“Enough. Bonaparte has taken much of Europe, the Prussians were defeated, the Austrians…” He shrugged.
Charnley nodded. “As Bonaparte’s army moves out of its winter accommodation, I think he will move on Spain.”
“Not England?”
“No, I think he has set his sights on the whole of Europe, and in doing so, isolating us.” Charnley’s eyes were serious. “Besides, since we annihilated his navy at Trafalgar, I doubt Bonaparte has the capacity or stomach for invasion.”
David sighed.
“After the Foreign Secretary’s death last year there seems to have been a revival of Bonaparte’s forces, we are facing a new coalition…” He shrugged eloquently. “Peace seems unlikely.”
“So how is Standish involved?” David asked.
“He is a French agent. His family came here after the revolution but is working with Bonaparte’s men it would seem. I’m not sure he has ruled out the question of an attempted invasion and occupation of the British Isles. He information I gave him would spur him on to think that this was a distinct possibility.”
“When will he find out what you did?”
“Hopefully never. The Secretary of State for War and the Colonies is full of good ideas that don’t always come to fruition. This might have been one of them.”
Charnley hesitated. He drew in a breath, looked long and hard at David, steepled his fingers in front of his chest, and then appeared to come to a decision. “Standish’s actions have cost the British army dear over the last year that we became aware of him. Thousands of lives lost, and thousands of Prussian lives lost. He must be stopped. Do you understand what I am saying?”
“You intend to kill him?”
“I intend to have him killed.” His correction made David smile. His brother would never sully his hands in that way.
“Do you need something from me?”
“You are nothing if not astute, dear boy.”
“Do you want me to kill him?”
“Dear God, no. There are people who do that.”
David gave a small laugh. “I’d be more than happy to after what he did to Jeremy.”
“How is he?”
David thought of Jeremy. “Remarkably well. He was feverish in the night, I was afraid it might take hold, but he seems to be shaking it off.”
“I’m glad.”
David nodded. Charnley maintained his watchful pose. “So, what do you want from me?” David said.
“I want more than Standish. I want the men who work with him support him and who would betray us.”
“Do you know who they are?”
“Some. I need evidence though.”
David pursed his lips. “Wait here.”
He ran lightly up the stairs and headed for his chamber where he quickly opened the safe beneath the painting on the wall. He pulled out the bundle of letters marked ‘vault’ he had taken from Standish’s safe, and tapped them against his hand.
He went back to the study. Charnley was sipping tea Mrs. Crawford brought and looking thoughtful.”
“When I went to look for the letter, I picked these up.�
�� He handed the packet to Charnley.
Charnley took them gingerly. “What are they?”
“I found them in the safe. Wrapped in paper marked vault. I presume they were ready to go to the bank with the rest of his documents.”
Charnley leafed through them carefully, tilting his head to read envelopes, then sliding out letters and scanning the contents before carefully putting them back. He cleared his throat.”
“These came from his safe?”
“When I was looking for the letter. Thought they might come in handy at some point.”
“You didn’t think to mention them to me?”
David smiled. “No.”
“I see. Well, at least you have mentioned them now. These, my dear boy, will be very useful indeed.” He gestured to his pocket. “May I?”
“Be my guest. Will that be enough to convict?”
“Oh yes. Enough to convict Standish and see him hanged several times over.”
“So, you don’t need to have him killed.”
“Oh, I do,” Charnley said, coming to stand. “I want to be absolutely sure there is no escape, no risk of him fabricating evidence to free him. I want him dead. Besides, an espionage trial of such a prominent member of society at his point would be intensely damaging to the country and to morale. No, better if we, ah, jump the gun a little and step right to the execution.”
David was surprised at the gentle, conversational tone Charnley used to announce his intention to have a man killed.”
“There is, of course, the fact that he threatened the people that I love.”
David smiled. “Of course. Major Kingston.”
Charnley smiled back. “And you, dear boy. And you.”
David’s jaw dropped.
“Don’t look so surprised. I have been trying to get you to allow me into your life for quite some time now. I had no idea getting to know you would be so dramatic, but I am grateful to Standish for his role in softening your heart, just not enough to want to allow him to live, if you see what I mean.”
“Why on earth do you want to get to know me?” David asked. Genuinely curious, and not altogether sure his heart had softened in any way.