by Anna Hill
Lio frowned. “You heard the conversation?”
“I did,” I admitted.
“I didn’t mean for you to hear it, or for it to sound like you were a burden upon me. You are never a burden. I just stress about your happiness. That is all.”
“I know, and it’s very sweet. Thank you. I’m sure Angelo realizes and wouldn’t do it again, but still… thank you. Thank you for always being my emotional protector.”
“Of course,” he said softly. “That is what I’m here for.”
I kissed him once again, this time on the lips. “I’ll be more present now. I won’t push you away again, I promise.”
He put one hand on my cheek. “Please don’t, Annabelle. Because it breaks my heart to feel that you are distant from me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. It was just… all a little much,” I admitted.
“How do you feel now?” he asked. “After going home and everything.”
“I guess… weird,” I acknowledged. “I mean, in a lot of ways I’m undeniably happy. Angelo is back, Jacob is dead, overall this was a pretty good day, but yeah… being in my old home was hard. I understand why Robert picked it to hold Angelo hostage. If I actually had to pick a fight today, I wouldn’t have been at my best.”
“He’s evil, that man. He will try and exploit your emotions in any way possible. He knows your emotions are key to your powers.”
“Yeah… He’s horrific,” I agreed. “But he’s good at being evil. I really do miss my parents, you know. And leaving the apartment today just felt like… I don’t know, like I was leaving them again? Like I was walking away from my one attachment to them? I still have dreams of my mom and stuff, but at the end of the day, those dreams aren’t real. They aren’t really her. That was the last place I was actually with them both.”
Lio frowned. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded emphatically. “Totally. I’m already starting to feel much more like myself. I mean, I’m still stressed about how we’re going to get to Robert now. But with Jacob out of the way and knowing his stocks of magic will be depleting every day, we have time to figure it out.”
“We do,” Lio agreed. “So for now, just enjoy this little victory. Enjoy Angelo for a while. Be happy, be at peace, get well rested. So you’ll be mentally prepared for that fight whenever it does come.”
I smiled. “Permission to feel happy… seems like I haven’t gotten that in a long time.”
“Because you haven’t,” Lio acknowledged. “You haven’t had a break since we found you. Hell, you haven’t had a break since the day Jacob killed your parents. But you deserve one. And you shouldn’t have to wait until you’re queen to take one.”
I grinned and kissed him once more. “Thank you for always being so good to me.”
“Of course. You know I always will be.”
When I walked back into the room, Angelo had already fallen back to sleep. I couldn’t blame him, of course. I imagined he was completely exhausted. I knew firsthand that being kidnapped will do that to you.
I climbed in bed, curled behind him, and tried to remember what Lio had said. I should just enjoy my life for a while.
So as I fell asleep, I smiled.
I was sitting in the grass, my mother facing me and smiling.
“Good work, sweetheart,” she said gleefully.
I grinned back at her. “Thanks. You may not know this, but… I avenged your death today.”
“Oh, I know it. Trust me. And I knew you would.”
I sighed. “You have no idea how much I miss you… and how much I wish I could see you.”
“But you are seeing me, baby.”
“It’s just not the same… I want it to be real.”
“This is real,” she assured me. “It’s real if you ever allow it to be.”
I shook my head. “No, I can’t allow that. I can’t let myself fall into a fantasy. It won’t help me, not in the long run.”
She frowned. “They say you should move slowly… that you should allow the person you want to reach time to realize. But I’m starting to get hopeless, Annabelle. It’s starting to feel like you’ll never realize.”
See, this was why I couldn’t pretend it was real. The dream version of my mom was so cryptic. Something my mom never had been in real life. It was moment like this that made me acutely aware that this wasn’t real.
“Realize what?” I asked.
“Realize that what I’m saying is true. I’ve tried to be gentle. They say that’s better. But maybe they’re wrong… maybe I should try something else. Because gentle never seems to get the picture across. And it’s getting to the point where… I need you to know.”
I sighed. “Sometimes, talking to the dream version of you feels like a riddle, you know.”
I could see her brows furrow. “It’s not the dream version of me, Annabelle. I realize I may sound a little different—cryptic, like you say—but that was only because I was trying not to shock you. Well, no… partially because after you die, you do become more cryptic. You see things in a different light. You know things that you can’t quite explain. But just because I’ve changed in the afterlife does not make this less real.”
“You act like… your feelings are hurt or something,” I told her.
“They are! Annabelle, you won’t accept me. I need you to realize that I’m telling you the truth. This is real. This is me.”
Man, my subconscious was really pushing me tonight. Maybe it was because I had visited the apartment. Maybe today was just too traumatic, in turn causing my dreams to be very intense.
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I wasn’t aware I could do that in a dream, but… I’m sorry.” It felt weird to apologize for nothing.
My mom appeared to be even more frustrated. “Annabelle, listen to me! This is not just a dream! I’m here. I’m talking to you. Look at me, honey.” She put both her hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look into her eyes.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to convince me of…” I spoke softly. “Mom, you’re dead. I would love to believe this is real. You have no idea how much I want to see you for real. But I also am well aware that this is all just a damn dream. You’re not going to be able to convince me otherwise.”
“Not even after what you heard today? What Jacob said?”
“What did he say?” I asked.
I mean, I knew everything Jacob said today. Or I thought I did. But I couldn’t think of anything that would be pertinent to my mom being real in a dream.
She groaned. “Annabelle, you’re gifted in the exact same way! This shouldn’t be unbelievable to you!”
Gifted in the same way…
There was only one way I knew of that I was gifted. And I’d only done it once that I was aware of. I reached Lio in a dream…
It clicked for me.
“Jacob said today… that Robert told him you were having dreams about him, and that you were going to figure out who Jacob really was. Your gift is in your dreams.”
“Yes!” she said, sounding relieved. “Yes, baby, I dream. I can see things in my dreams, bits and pieces of things. The past, the future, the present.”
“And you can… talk to people who are dreaming.”
“Yes!” she said even more excitedly.
I could feel the emotion welling up in my chest. Was this real? Or was this just something I wanted to believe?
“You’re really communicating with me right now? This is actually you?”
“It’s really me,” she assured me.
“But you’re… you’re dead. How can you be communicating to me from beyond the grave?”
She shrugged. “I have to admit, I didn’t know it was possible either. Not until I died… and my gift remained. But it is possible. I’m doing it.”
Tears began to well up in my eyes. “This just… this doesn’t feel like it could be real.”
She wrapped her arms around me. “But it is, baby, it is. I promise you. I’m here, I�
��ve been here this whole time, waiting for you to figure it out.”
I hugged her back. “That’s why I never see Dad… Because he has no magic.”
“That’s right,” she confirmed.
I pulled away from her slightly to be able to wipe my tears. “So that means everything you’ve told me in past dreams… it’s all real?”
“It is.”
“So you know… I’m really dating two shifter men.”
She smiled. “I do, and I think it’s lovely. They seem like very good guys, Annabelle. Like they’d do anything to protect you.” She pushed my hair out of my eyes. “I would give anything to protect you myself. I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry? What are you sorry for? I’m the one who brought the man who killed you guys into our lives.”
She became furious. “Don’t you ever say that, Annabelle! Of course you didn’t! You were just a normal teenage girl living her life. If anyone allowed that monster into our world, it was me. I knew who I was. I knew who you were. I should have been skeptical. More importantly, I should have told you. I just thought there was time.”
“It’s okay… You can tell me now. I mean… holy shit, you can actually tell me things! About my past, about our family history.”
She kissed my forehead. “Yes, honey, I can tell you all that. And I promise, I will.”
“So, wait, that means Dad really did know that you were a witch? That you were capable of magic?”
“He did,” she confirmed. “And he knew about you. I think he was always looking forward to that day when we’d tell you who you actually were. But I was always the one to push it off, to forever want to protect you…”
“You did, for a while,” I told her.
She shook her head. “Not quite long enough. Not for me. But I’m glad you have people now… Good people. It killed me to continue to see you with that monster after we passed.”
“So you can see what’s going on in my life?” I asked.
“Oh, yes, we both can, me and your father. Oh, darling, he misses you so much. Whenever I get the chance to speak to you, he makes me repeat every bit of our conversation for him.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes. “I really miss him too. I wish I could see him.”
“Someday, you will,” she told me. “Far, far into the future… One day. But now is not the time. You have a long life to live, things to do first. You’re going to be the one to restore Elderan, my child. You’re going to bring back the reign of the witches.”
I looked at the ground. “I really want to do that… I mean, I hope so. I really do. But I’m not sure, Mom. This has been really hard. I don’t know what I’m capable of.”
“I know. But I do. I know this is phenomenally hard, but you were destined to do this. I know what my daughter is capable of. You’re going to do amazing things, sweetheart. I feel it in my bones.”
I laid my head in her chest. “Why didn’t you just tell me you were real before?”
“Like I said… other people who have passed told me that if I came on too strong at first, you would shun me. I can only go into people’s dreams when they’re open to it. If I shocked you too much, I may have never been able to speak to you again. I couldn’t risk that.”
“But you’ve been watching me this entire time? Like, since you’ve passed?”
“The entire time. Your father and I both can. And, honey, we are so proud of you.”
“Really?” I said softly.
“Truly. Could not be prouder.”
She hugged me tighter. “You’re going to wake up soon, I can feel it.”
I didn’t want to. I never wanted to leave this dream again.
“I don’t want to leave you,” I said softly.
“It’s okay, honey. I’ll come back. I promise. I’m going to return to you every night.”
I smiled at the thought. “And we can talk about the past? About who I am? About our history?”
“Yes, eventually.” She nudged me a little, so I’d get off her chest, and then she looked me directly in the eye. “But, darling, that’s not what my visits are going to be about for a while. One day, I’d love to get into all of that with you. I promise, I’ll tell you everything. But for now, we don’t have a lot of time. There are more important things we have to do.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“You know how you’ve been training with the boys? Fighting with them, learning history with Rhyion, that kind of thing?”
“Yes, of course.”
She gave me a crooked smile. “Well… now you’re going to train with me.”
I looked at her, confused. “Train with you to do what, exactly?”
“To exercise this exact gift that we share. Because I hid who you were from you, you never got to reach your full potential. You have barely gotten to use it.” She pushed my hair back out of my eyes. “But I’m going to teach you now, everything I know about our gift of dreams. And it is your dreams that are going to tell you exactly how to defeat Robert.”
Now I smiled too. “So I’m literally going to… defeat Robert in my sleep?”
“That’s exactly right.”
“Okay… Let’s do it.”
I was ready.
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