The trouble was, liking her was like running through a minefield. He was in definite danger. He’d been the one to say it. What would a city girl see in a simple Montana man? Maybe he’d have to find that out.
Throughout the goodbyes to Danielle and her kids and waving them off, Caleb stayed at the front of her mind. Had he thought about kissing her and decided not to? Or had he simply been reaching for the dish cloth?
She was clueless. She had no experience with these things. The possibility of his kissing her scared her a little because, to her surprise, she’d wanted him to kiss her—just for a moment and just until reason kicked in. What was that about?
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him through the kitchen window, shoulders straight, head bowed as he finished the last few dishes. He didn’t look up, but she could feel him watching her. Exactly the way she was watching him.
I’m way too interested in this man. Next thing she knew, she’d go from sweet on him to full-out serious in like with him. Not a smart thing. Especially since they didn’t live in the same state.
“Lauren, dear.” Dorrie, arms out, wrapped Lauren in a quick hug. “I’ve got it all arranged. We’re going to lunch tomorrow, my treat. All of us girls will be there. We need to make the most of our time here with you. I figure we’ll make a little notebook with all our information—birthdays, phone numbers, e-mail addresses, mailing addresses. That way we can stay in close contact with you after you head home. What do you think?”
What a nice lady—and a nice mom. Lauren’s heart stung. She would have liked to have known Dorrie—and everyone—so much sooner. “I love the idea. Count me in.”
Dorrie brightened. “Wonderful. We’ll make it a date, just us girls. And Mary, of course.”
“That’s right, don’t forget me,” Gran chuckled from the porch step where she was keeping watch over her family.
Cheerful in sunshine yellow, Ava danced up and wrapped her arms around Dorrie from behind. She sparkled with joyful mischief. “I’m starting to worry, Dorrie. I used to be your favorite, but now it might be Lauren.”
“Yes, love, you’ve been replaced.” Gently kidding, Dorrie brushed at Ava’s flyaway hair with a motherly hand. “You and Aubrey drive safe. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
“Maybe we should invite Spence,” Ava suggested loud enough for her voice to carry across the gravel driveway where their big brother was climbing into his truck. “He needs to spend more time with Lauren, so he can love her, too. Will you come, Spence? C’mon. It’ll be super-duper.”
Spence tossed Ava a glowering look, did not answer, then slammed the door of his truck.
“I’m just tormenting him,” Ava explained, although it was clear she had nothing but love for her older brother—and maybe a little annoyance, too. “Someone has to. He’s such a Heathcliff.”
Lauren tried really hard not to look back at the kitchen window. “Heathcliff? You mean from Wuthering Heights?”
“Yeah, although I’ve never read the book. Okay, and I haven’t seen the old movie. But I get the gist of it, because I grew up with him.” As if greatly burdened and not minding it a bit, she shrugged. “Lauren, I’m so glad you came back.”
“Me, too.” The gratitude welled up from her soul. “We have Gran to thank for that.”
“Another reason to love her even more, as if that’s possible,” Aubrey said from her quiet perch next to Gran.
Dad appeared from the breezeway beside the garage where he’d been tending to bagging up the evening’s garbage and recyclables. “Well, I’m beat. Dorrie, you ready to head home?”
“I am.” Dorrie sighed, obviously tired, too. “Good night, everyone.”
“Good night.” Lauren joined everyone in calling out.
Everyone moved away to their vehicles, the twins walking toward Ava’s SUV. Rebecca headed toward her compact sedan.
There was only one goodbye left. Distinguished in his summer plaid cotton shirt and jeans, Dad looked like everything a good man should be. After closing Dorrie’s car door for her, he ambled through the gravel. He stopped to give Gran a kiss on the cheek and exchange words with her before he headed Lauren’s way.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, too, right, Lulu?”
Lulu? Was that what he used to call her? She took a step back. She wished she remembered. “I’ll make sure to see you. The time is going so fast.”
“It is, but that’s not a worry. We’ve got a lot of time. I’ll make sure of it. I’m not going to let anyone part us again.”
That was a promise she could trust. Her heart squeezed as he walked away.
The rest of the vehicles ambled slowly down the gravel road, their passengers waving out of open windows, calling out their final good-nights. In Ava’s case, actually leaning out of the window. Lauren stood rooted in place, watching her family go. Long after the cars had vanished from her sight, the warmth of their affection remained.
When she turned, ready to get back to the dishes, there was Gran smiling at her and loving her and holding out one hand. And, in the window beyond, Caleb watching her with dark, unreadable eyes.
Caleb dried the last of the pizza pans. He hadn’t taken his gaze from the window, where he had a perfect view of Lauren. How he was going to stop caring for her, he didn’t know. It might appear as if she belonged here with her family, but she had a life somewhere far away. And, maybe, more in mind for her future.
One thing was for sure. If he followed these rising feelings he would be putting his heart at risk. He wasn’t a man who liked to get hurt. His gut was telling him, too risky. Move back. Take cover. But his feelings, his heart, well, they weren’t obeying.
Watching her in the lengthening shadows of the sweet summer evening made all sorts of protective, caretaking emotions rise up. She was kind and loving and warm, and she drew him. It would be so easy to fall in love with her. Just a few more steps to take, that was all, and he’d be one hundred percent devoted to her.
There was another problem, too. She was a woman who had been very plain about her beliefs. She didn’t think she could trust a man with her life and with her heart enough to marry.
Now, a smart man would see that as reason enough to take off out the back door, head home and put every thought of Lauren McKaslin out of his mind.
So, why wasn’t he doing it? He hung up the dish towel with a sigh. He didn’t have an answer to that.
He did turn toward the soft sound of her steps. His heart filled with joy at the sight of her. He watched the way she smiled when she found him, and there was no hiding the flash of joy on her face, in her spirit, in the air between them, when she spotted him. It was a joy that matched his.
He gathered his courage and held out his hand. “Come walk with me.”
Chapter Eleven
After leaving Gran to rest on the porch swing, Lauren agreed to his request. And once they’d headed down the road and rounded the bend, out of Gran’s sight, Caleb moved closer to her. Well, maybe that was her wishful thinking. It was hard to tell for it was a subtle move.
They walked in companionable silence, which was a nice experience. She had to admit she was starting to believe in dreams. After all, this place was real. The Montana beauty really did invite a girl to dream, just a little. How could she help it? The air was scented with ripening grasses and the drifting scent of flowers full-faced in the fields. Larks trilled and the horses lifted their heads from their grazing to nicker hellos. She breathed in the country goodness and peace settled deep into her soul.
Caleb nodded once toward the fence and changed his direction. “Leo’s coming over to say howdy.”
So they headed through the grassy shoulder of the road to the board fence. Grasshoppers startled out of their way. A jackrabbit a few yards away stopped to wiggle his nose, trying to smell if th
ey were friend or foe. He must not have been too worried, because he slowly hopped deeper into the grasses. A hawk circled in a lazy sweep overhead and, in the distance, deer grazed at the edge of a creek.
“This could be a scene from a Western,” she said. “All that’s missing are the buffalo.”
“The neighbor on the other side of my property has a small herd.”
She nodded. She should have known. Leaning her forearms against the sun-warmed board fence, the way Caleb did, she waited for Leo to meander over. She was going to miss this. These wide-open spaces grew on a person.
Caleb gazed out at the horses. “I hear you’ve got a family thing lined up tomorrow.”
“I do.” He’d been standing finishing up the dishes the whole time, in front of the huge window over the sink, which had been open to the evening breezes. Sound traveled a long way in the country. “What else did you overhear?”
“Now, I didn’t mean to. It’s quiet here. A small sound makes a big impression.”
“I’ve never been in such a quiet place. There’s no traffic sounds. No airplanes overhead. There’s no neighbor noise, no blaring TVs, car alarms, voices, kids playing basketball. Nothing.”
“Well, your grandmother owns a few hundred acres. It puts distance between neighbors.”
She felt different from the woman she’d been when she’d first driven up this road. Then she was pretty sure who she was, but now? Not so much. Coming here had turned everything upside down. It was like one of those snow globes, she had upended her life and given it a good shake to get the snow to start swirling. Eventually it would calm and every last piece of snow would settle. She took a deep breath and wondered if this was her life settling, finally.
Everything felt different. Better. And this companionship with Caleb was nice. But would the sweetness she felt for him last? She was leaving in a few days. Her life wasn’t here.
Yet.
That single word jolted through her brain. Where had it come from? More wishful thinking? Or, in fact, from something more substantial?
“I’ll have to pull an early shift tomorrow.” He stared ahead at the horses, who had their heads up and were ambling closer. He didn’t sound as if it were a big deal to him. “Means I’m on the clock tomorrow by five-thirty.”
“Let me guess. You won’t be able to take me riding?”
“My regrets. It’s a big vacation season and we’re short staffed, so I couldn’t switch with anyone. Suppose we could make that lesson for another time?”
What he was saying was perfectly logical and reasonable. So why did she feel disappointed? Was it the chance to ride that she would miss, or was it spending time with the man?
Wait. Don’t answer that, she ordered to herself. Instead, she took a steady breath and tried to sound as reasonable as Caleb. The calm, logical tone of her voice surprised her. “I understand. I don’t think I’ve told you how much I’ve appreciated your teaching me. Surely you must have something better to do.”
“As a matter of fact, I don’t. Besides, I’ve sort of liked it.”
“Me, too.”
He didn’t look at her, but she could feel his smile. There was no hint of it in his hard-planed face or the stony line of his mouth, but it was there all the same, like a little smile of the heart.
Leo, who’d taken his sweet time walking in the evening heat, nosed up to the fence. Caleb held out his hand to greet his gelding by touch. “Not that I’m much of a rider. It won’t take much longer and you’ll have to leave me for a more accomplished teacher. Like Aubrey. Now, she was on the Olympic equestrian team. She could teach you in a way I can’t.”
“Really? I didn’t know that. Although I did get to go to the riding stable where she boards her mare and it’s impressive. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“I suppose you’re interested in the fancy riding. English saddles. Those riding fashions. Jumping.”
“I think you have the entirely wrong idea of me.” She seemed to think that was pretty amusing. “I’m not so fancy. Haven’t you noticed?”
Sound indifferent, man. Hold back your heart. “You seem just fine to me.”
“You’re not so bad, yourself.”
Good to know. He gave Leo’s nose a pat. “Maybe when you’re back home, you might miss this place.”
“There’s no maybe about it.”
“You have classes starting soon.”
“Sadly. I love school, but I wouldn’t mind having a little more time here.”
“Sure. I get that.” He kept rubbing Leo’s nose, careful to keep his feelings hidden. It didn’t hurt to do a little recon before he took one more step where his heart was telling him to go and his logic was warning him away from. “You must miss home. All your friends. There’s a lot to do there.”
“At first. I missed it more with every mile that passed on my way here. But Gran has made me feel so welcome and my family makes me feel as if I belong here and—”
“And?” He waited, desperately wanting her to finish that sentence.
“It’s been nice getting to do things I’ve never had a chance to do, like learning to ride.”
“I’m glad I could help with that.”
She inched closer, just a smidge, so she could stroke Leo’s sun-warmed neck. The gelding nickered in approval. “It’s been nice getting to know you, too.”
“Is that so?”
“Sure. I don’t have a lot of time for friends, sad as that sounds. I’m just trying to get through school and improve my life.”
“That’s an admirable thing.”
“You think so?”
“I do.” He liked that his opinion mattered to her. He sure was starting to wonder about her opinion of him. “You work hard. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“The thing is, my life isn’t balanced. Everyone has family, but I do better when I’m away from my mom.” She didn’t look at him as she talked, as if that would make it easier to be so frank. “Everything that I was missing in my life was here all along.”
“So, it’s been life changing?”
“Coming here has changed my whole world. I can see how—maybe—I’ve kept myself buried in my work and school striving so hard so I don’t have to risk getting hurt.”
Bingo. She’d said exactly how he’d been feeling for the last few years. “How about that? The city girl and the country boy have this in common.”
“You, too?”
“It was the best way to deal with a lot of stuff.”
“You’ve had a lot of loss, too. Your parents, your grandparents, your broken engagement.”
“Yep, life has a way of beating all of us with a big stick from time to time. You gotta take the bad with the good.”
“That’s the hard part about living. My mom couldn’t deal with the harder part of life, responsibilities, commitment and consequences. She coped by always looking for the fastest and easiest path out of a problem and that always landed her—us—in more crisis.”
“That had to be tough on a little kid.”
“Very.”
Hold on to your heart, Caleb, he told himself. He tried not to picture her as a little girl with ringlet curls and those big violet eyes and vulnerable the way all children were, the way everyone was—and failed.
It was easy to picture her, all of her, past the protective distance she kept between them. She’d been hurt. He knew what that was like. She was alone. He’d gotten a good taste of it these past few years. Life was a balance of good things and bad things, but it was the choices a person made that determined their mettle. Their character. What they stood for. He could see that in Lauren, too.
Don’t fall in love with her, man. But he feared he had already started to fall.
“That’s why I’ve tried so hard,” she continued saying. “I saw the mistakes Mom made and where that led her. And I don’t want to go down that path, but I think life’s taking me there anyway. I hadn’t noticed that until now. Until tonight.”
“What do you mean? You said you don’t want a film career.”
“Goodness, no.” Lauren couldn’t even imagine that; just as she couldn’t figure out the right words to say what she meant. Her feelings were jumbled up inside, a big tangled knot. They would take time to sort out. She wanted to escape Caleb, escape being tangled up this way. But how impossible was that? She could run, sure, but emotions had a way of staying with a person.
She took her time, searching for the right words and failing, so she did the best she could. “Mom was so alone. She used to say we were together, we were a team, but that wasn’t true. I was a child and there was only so much I could do for her. She hopped from one bad relationship to the next. She was afraid of being alone, but she never let anyone close to her. In a real way, you know what I mean? She’s alone now, between marriages, as she’s always been. I always prided myself on being different from her. On being more sensible and grounded. On not making the mistake of relying on other people. I guess I thought that was one of her flaws. I learned that you can only rely on yourself. But now—”
She fell silent, and he turned toward her, inching closer. It was not her imagination. Nor was it a trick of the light that made him seem so revealed. He had a big compassionate heart and she adored him.
It was hard not to think wow. Hard not to lay her cheek against him. To find out if being held in his arms would offer the safe harbor she wished for. But even thinking about getting that close to him made fear rumble through her middle. She was afraid. But not of him.
She was afraid of finding out if he felt this, too. If anyone looked trustworthy enough for her to fall for, it would be Caleb Stone. And if he did feel the same way, then what? She’d have to actually trust someone on a deep level, which she’d never done before. That meant relying on him. Trusting him. Scary stuff.
Sweet Home Montana (The McKaslin Clan) Page 12