“Can I kill him after the speech?” I’m kidding but she thinks I’m serious.
“Garret, no. Please don’t do anything.”
I kiss her. “I was joking. I’ll leave him alone. Unless he talks to you again. Then I’ll have to hurt him. And if he looks at your breasts again? I’ll definitely kill him.”
She sighs. “You’re stressing me out.”
I hug her into my side. “Sorry. We’re done talking about him.”
We walk back toward the auditorium and find Frank still sitting on the bench in the hallway. “How was the tour?”
“Boring,” Jade answers.
“They want you to go wait behind the curtain on stage,” Frank says to her.
“Right now? I still have 15 minutes.”
“They want you back there while they do the introductions.”
“Crap. I’m not ready.”
I face her toward me, my hands on her upper arms. “You’re ready, Jade. You’ve practiced this a million times. Just relax. And remember, it’s about the audience. Think of the audience.”
She nods.
I hug her. “I love you.”
I let her go, then Frank wishes her luck and she goes through the side door that leads to the stage.
Frank smiles. “She’ll do fine.”
I sit next to him on the bench. “So how have you been, Frank? We haven’t talked much.”
“I’m doing well. It’s good to finally be settled in the house. The move was more work than I thought it would be. But Karen helped a lot.” He pauses, then says, “Has Jade said anything about Karen?”
“She said she likes her. Other than that, she hasn’t said much.” I smile at him. “Why do you ask? Are you thinking of marrying this woman, Frank?”
“Not anytime soon, but it could happen.” He glances at his watch, then back at me. “But don’t tell Jade that. I want her to get to know Karen first. If things get more serious between Karen and me, I’ll tell Jade myself.”
“Fair enough.” Another secret I have to keep from Jade. Although I think she already knows Frank and Karen are serious enough that they might get married someday.
“How’s Jade’s therapy going?” Frank asks.
“She doesn’t talk about it much. But she likes her counselor.”
“I’m glad. If Jade can deal with all the issues from her past, it’ll really make a difference in her life.”
“It’s already making a difference. Jade’s starting to open up to me more and talk about stuff she wouldn’t talk to me about before.”
“That’s good to hear.” Frank stands up. “We should go inside. They’ll be starting soon.”
The auditorium is huge, so with the 50 or so people in here, it almost looks empty. Everyone’s sitting up front but Frank and I sit in the back. We don’t want to make Jade even more nervous.
The program starts and some lady talks about the purpose of this event. I’m so tired I’m not really listening, but then I hear her introduce Jade and I pay attention again.
Jade comes out on the stage and goes up to the podium. She looks beautiful up there, in her navy skirt and white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up a little. Her hair is down, hanging in soft waves, and she has just a touch of makeup on. She looks much more sophisticated than when I first met her. Back then, she looked more like a high school kid. Now she looks like a young woman. She’s grown up a lot this past year.
She begins speaking. Her voice is shaky and she stumbles on a few of her words. She stops mid-sentence and takes a breath.
You can do this, Jade. Just relax. I try to mentally send her the message.
She starts over from the beginning. “I’m here today to talk about—” She stops again.
Damn. This is bad. She was already nervous and now that she messed up, she’ll be even more nervous. I’m nervous just watching her there, standing at the podium, unable to speak.
The people in the front row start checking their phones, coughing, messing with their hair. A few of them start whispering to each other.
“You know what?” Jade says. “I had this formal speech planned with inspirational words like hopes and dreams and all that stuff, but I don’t think that’s what you want to hear.”
What is she doing? This is not what she practiced. But her words have everyone intrigued enough that their focus is back on the stage.
Jade continues. “I think what you want to hear is the truth. Because that’s what I would’ve wanted to hear back when I was struggling to figure out how to escape the hell that used to be my life. Hopes and dreams mean nothing when your life is hell. When you’re so far down that deep, dark hole that you no longer believe light even exists. When I was in that place, you know what I would’ve wanted someone to tell me?”
She pauses. The room is completely silent. All attention is on Jade.
“I would’ve wanted them to tell me that sometimes life sucks. Sometimes it’s lonely. Sometimes it hurts so bad you feel like you can’t go on. And it’s not fair. It’s not fair that some people have perfect lives and other people have to suffer. It’s not fair that some people are born to drug-addicted, abusive, alcoholic parents while other people are born into loving homes. I was one of those unlucky people born into a home with a drug-addicted, abusive, alcoholic parent. It sucked. And it was lonely. And I felt like I was trapped in a deep, dark hole with no light. I thought there was no way out.” She stops to breathe. “But there is a way out. You know what gets you out of the darkness?” She pauses again. “Choices. You may not think you have any. You may only see one road ahead of you, a road that leads nowhere. But the truth is, there are many roads and they all start with choices.”
She takes a sip of the water that was left for her on the podium, then continues. “When I was 12, I decided to try my mom’s vodka. It was out on the kitchen counter and my mom didn’t care if I drank it. She was too drunk to care. But as I held the bottle up to my mouth, I realized I had a choice. If I took a drink, it would lead to another, and another after that, and soon I’d be her. I’d be my mom. And it wouldn’t be her fault. It would be mine. I made a choice that day. Not just with the vodka, but with my life. I decided I didn’t want to be my mom and I didn’t want to use her as an excuse for having a crappy life. Although that would’ve been a lot easier. It would’ve been easy to drop out of school, become an alcoholic, do drugs, be homeless, and blame it all on my mom. But why would I do that? Why would I give her all that power? This is my life. Not hers. And I wanted something better. I wanted to have a real life. A real job. I didn’t want to struggle. I wanted a different road than she took. And the only way I could get there was by making choices. Alcohol? Drugs? I had opportunities for all that. But I chose not to go down that road, because although that might’ve made my teen years more fun or more exciting or would’ve made me more popular, that road would’ve led me to a dead end. And it literally could’ve been a dead end, because sometimes that road leads to death. Like it did for my mom. She died. She overdosed on drugs and alcohol. And I found her. Dead. On the bathroom floor. Two days before my 16th birthday.”
Jade’s voice is shaky, but not from nerves this time. Now it’s from emotion. Pure, raw emotion. She’s putting it all out there. All of it. And I’m so damn proud of her. And fucking amazed she’s able to do this. I actually have chills just listening to her speak. She’s braver and stronger than anyone I know or will ever meet. I could never do what she’s doing right now. I don’t know anyone who could.
I glance over at Frank. He’s got tears streaming down his face. Big, messy tears, but he’s smiling.
Jade continues to tell her story. She owns the room. Nobody can take their eyes off her. Nobody’s checking their phone. I don’t even notice anyone moving. Not even a leg cross. They just listen, taking in each word.
After 30 minutes, I see Jade glance at her watch. Her time is up. She looks back at the young women in the audience and says, “I have an amazing life now. I’m in college. I hav
e a great family and great friends. And I have a husband who I love more than anything in this world.” She looks back at me and smiles, then directs her focus back to the women. “And it all started with one good choice that led to another. The choices weren’t always easy. Sometimes I wanted to say screw it and give up. But I didn’t, because after that first good choice, I saw a flicker of light from that dark hole I was in. And the more good choices I made, the more light I saw. And now all I see is light.” She smiles. “Thank you for your time.”
She walks off the stage, and as she does, everyone stands up and starts clapping so loud it fills the entire room. I’m clapping so hard my hands hurt.
That was incredible. Jade was incredible.
I go out of the auditorium to the hallway and see her there.
“Did I do okay?” she asks.
I hug her. “You did more than okay. You were freaking amazing. Words can’t describe it. I had chills.”
She pulls away. “You did? Really?”
“Yes, Jade. Really.” I kiss her. “I think everyone did.”
Jade notices Frank behind me. “Frank, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“I’m just so proud of you, Jade.” He hugs her really tight, then lets her go and dries his face with his hand.
I put my arm around her. “When did you decide to change your speech?”
“When you told me to think about my audience and not myself. You were right. I needed to think about them, not me.”
“When did you write all that stuff?”
“I didn’t. I just jotted down some ideas for what I wanted to say and that was it.”
“You didn’t practice that?”
“No. I just talked.”
“Jade, it sounded like you spent weeks practicing that. You didn’t even stumble on your words.”
“I know. It was weird. I just pretended I was talking to my old self. And as soon as I did that, the words just came out.”
Jade’s teacher comes out the stage door and goes up to Jade. “The women have asked if you’d be willing to go back in there and answer some of their questions.”
“Isn’t there another speaker now?”
“Yes, but she said she doesn’t mind if we delay her speech. In fact she was so impressed with you, she’d like you to speak at a youth conference next March in San Francisco.”
“She does?”
He motions to the auditorium. “Would you be willing to go back in there? Everyone is asking for you.”
“Um, sure.” She turns to Frank and me. “Do you guys mind waiting?”
I steer her to the door. “Just get in there, Jade. Take all the time you need.”
She spends the next half hour answering questions. And she could’ve stayed even longer but they needed to move the schedule along. Before we left, the woman who wanted Jade to speak at that youth conference gave Jade her business card and asked her to call her. She told Jade she’d get a speaker’s fee of $2000. Jade just about passed out when she heard that. She didn’t know people got paid for this stuff. I didn’t tell her, but my dad gets paid $50,000 for giving a speech at a business conference, sometimes more. Speakers can make a lot of money.
We leave the school and go back to the house. Ryan and Chloe are there, then Karen arrives and we all go out for an early dinner. During dinner, Frank and I tell everyone about Jade’s speech and what a great job she did. Jade’s embarrassed, of course, but I don’t care. I’m so damn proud of her I want to tell the whole freaking world.
I was amazed by my wife before, but now I’m even more amazed. I knew she would do great things in her life and today just proved it. This is her calling. To share her story with people who need to hear it. People who are struggling like she was not that long ago. Jade doesn’t think her story is anything special, but it is. She made a success of herself despite her childhood and she worked her ass off to do it. And she can inspire others to do the same. That speech she made was amazing. I bet she changed lives today. All with her words and her story.
Ever since Jade decided not to go to med school, she’s felt lost and unsure of herself. But today, her path was made clear. This is what she needs to do. And if she doesn’t realize that herself, I’m going to help her see it.
CHAPTER FIVE
5
JADE
We just got back from dinner and said goodbye to Karen because she has to work tomorrow. Then Chloe left because she’s behind on studying after spending so much time here the past couple days.
Frank and Ryan are lucky to have those two in their lives. I feel like I don’t have to worry about Frank as much with Karen around. She really does take good care of him. And I’ve always liked Chloe. Last year, she used to make Frank go on dates with her and Ryan just to get Frank out of the house. She didn’t want him to be lonely. She treats Frank like a dad, which he would be if Ryan would just marry her.
Now the four of us are watching a movie on TV. The fire’s going and I’m lounging on Frank’s new couch. It’s so comfy I could fall asleep on it. I wish Garret and I could stay longer. The time went so fast. I can’t believe we’re leaving tomorrow.
“Jade, get over here.” Ryan’s standing by the back window.
I go over to see what he’s looking at. “It’s snowing! Let’s go out there.”
“No way I’m going out there,” Ryan says. “It’s too cold.”
“I’ll go with her.” Garret grabs our coats from the closet. “Who’s the pretty boy now? Can’t take the cold, Ryan?” He smirks at him as he gives me my coat.
“Just wait,” Ryan says. “Once you feel that wind, you’ll be back here in a few minutes.”
“Boys,” Frank calls out from his chair. “Be nice.”
He’s just kidding. Frank loves his dad role. Now with Garret, he’s got three kids to scold.
Garret and I go out to the back yard. The ground is already covered with a couple inches of snow and giant flakes are dropping from the sky. I tilt my face up and watch them fall.
“Hey.” Garret circles his arms around my waist.
I take my eyes off the snow and look at him. “Yeah?”
“You were amazing today.”
“Thanks, but you don’t have to keep saying that.”
“I need to, because you need to hear it. What you did up there was amazing. I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“It felt amazing.”
He smiles. “Tell me why.”
“It just felt good to be up there and look out at the faces of people just like me and have them understand me and what I’ve been through. I’ve never had that. I used to think I was the only one stuck in the darkness, unable to get out. I mean, when I got older I knew there must be other people who felt that way but I’d never met them. And today I did. I didn’t know those women in the audience, but when I looked at them, I could tell they felt just like I used to feel. So maybe something I said today will help them stop feeling that way. Maybe it will help them get to the light.”
“It will, Jade. You had that whole room focused on your every word.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I sat in the back and watched it. And then they asked you to go back in there. That shows how much of an effect you had on them.” Garret wipes the wet snowflakes off my cheeks. “Jade, I think you should give more speeches like you did today.”
“I told that lady I’d do that conference in March.”
“I mean more than just that conference. I think you should consider making this your career.”
“That’s not a career. It’s just a thing I might do on the side.”
“It is a career. You can get paid for giving speeches. A lot of people do. And if you don’t want to get paid, you can donate your speaking fee to charity.”
“But it’s not really work. I actually liked doing it.”
Garret laughs. “Jade, do you hear yourself?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“This whole semester you’ve been trying to
figure out what to do for a career. And I told you to find something you like doing. Something you had a passion for. This is it, Jade. What you did today is what you should do for a career.”
I take a moment to think about that. Could I really be a speaker? Could I go around telling my story to other people? If I did, I’d be helping people, which is what I want to do. And once I got past the nerves, I did like what I was doing today. It gave me energy. I could feel the energy from the audience. They actually listened to me. They wanted to hear what I had to say. And when that lady asked me to speak in March, I was excited about it.
“I think that might be a good idea.” I peer up at the snow again. “But I still don’t know what to do for a major.”
“What about psychology?” Garret says it like he’s already thought about this. “You like your psych class. You tell me about it all the time. And you liked the psych class you took at Moorhurst.”
“Yeah, but what does that have to do with giving speeches?”
“You’ll be speaking to people who are struggling with a lot of different issues. Ones that aren’t the same as you had growing up. If you major in psych, you’ll learn about all those different issues. You’ll understand people better. And maybe you won’t just give speeches. Maybe you’ll work with smaller groups. Do workshops. Group counseling. I don’t know. I’m just throwing out ideas here.”
I’m getting even more excited because I like everything he just said. I would love to take more psych classes. I never even considered majoring in it, but what he said makes sense. A psychology degree might be the perfect fit for me and would be a good degree to have if I decide to help people like those women I met today.
“I need to think about this some more, but you might be on to something here.”
“Don’t overthink it, Jade. Just go with what feels right. And if what you did today feels right, then don’t question it. Same with your major. Go with your gut, not your head. Always works for me.”
I close my eyes and listen to the snow. People think it doesn’t make a sound, but if you listen, you can hear it crackling as it hits the trees.
Always Us (The Jade Series #8) Page 5