by Reece Butler
Mrs. Kenrick Langford. How dare they force her to marry just because she finally got to taste what they’d enjoyed for years! She sighed. At least she’d get her horse back.
“To heck with the whole lot of you. I’m going to bed. Alone!”
“Damn right, you will!”
She stuck her tongue out at Trace again. They laughed as she pushed past and stomped toward the barn. She held her back straight though the quilt trailed around her feet.
“You’re going the wrong way,” called Ace.
“I’d rather sleep in the barn than put up with you lot!”
Hearty male laughter excluded her. As always, she was on the outside, looking in. Not strong enough to be a boy, or sweet enough to be a girl. She might be a woman, but she was still the best cowboy on the Double Diamond!
A deep roar of laughter rolled out of the dark. She sighed. Once men got together like this, they didn’t stop for a while. She’d had a long nap, so wouldn’t be able to sleep even if they shut up. She quickly dressed, putting on her corset for riding comfort.
She hadn’t yet met her sisters-in-law, Beth Elliott and Amelia MacDougal. They’d married three men each. Surely they’d have a few ideas on how to keep a husband or three in line. She glanced at the sky. Clear, with enough of a moon. If she saddled up and left immediately she could get to the MacDougal homestead with lots of time to talk before bed. Both women would likely want to know what their men were up to, as well.
Fifteen minutes later she rode out, heading west.
* * * *
Sin, always aware of the woman he considered his near-wife, noted her direction. He spoke quietly to Ace and slipped from the room. She wouldn’t know he followed. She needed to believe she was free, and that marriage would not clip her wings.
He liked her sparkle. He saw the way her nostrils flared when he threatened to spank her. She was tempted, and everyone knew it. That would make sure there weren’t complaints from her brothers later on.
He waited until Jessie settled her ugly white horse in the MacDougal barn and got up her nerve to knock. The door opened and Amelia pulled her in. He snorted a laugh. Beth and Amelia’s husbands might be surprised at what trouble Jessie could get them into. Not that it would bother those wives. From what he’d seen, they were strong and independent. Just like Jessie.
He rode home, anticipating what he’d do with Jessie next time he had her to himself. He unsaddled and joined the crowd. Once the men at the Double Diamond realized their wives weren’t waiting up for them, they set in to some serious talk. They cheered when Ace brought out his last bottle of good whiskey, a sacrifice for the cause of brotherhood. Sin hid his wince, knowing how long it would be before they could afford another bottle.
Chapter Nineteen
“It’s about time!”
Jessie opened her mouth to reply but was hauled into a hug by a slightly taller dark-haired woman. Amelia MacDougal. Jessie returned the hug, more to keep her feet than as a howdy-do. Amelia grabbed her hand and towed her into the kitchen.
“Do you think your baby girl will grow up to look like Jessie, Beth?”
A tall blonde woman sitting in a rocking chair nursed a baby in the corner. The hefty baby stopped sucking for a moment, decided Jessie wasn’t worth wasting effort over, and went back to work. Beth wore a plain blue dress and apron, her hair tied up like the way Jessie had to wear it in Virginia. She smiled down at her baby, who returned the grin.
Jessie’s stomach contracted. There was her nightmare. Stuck inside, waiting for a husband who was out having fun. She might want the baby and the fun, but not the husband.
“First I have to have a baby girl,” said Beth. “Just because Simon insists that’s what he wants, doesn’t mean he’s going to get it.” She nodded gracefully to Jessie. “We’re so pleased to finally meet you. The fact that there are no men around to interrupt makes it even better. If you’re here, does that mean you’re marrying Mr. Langford, and they’ll be celebrating all night?”
Perhaps the heat of the kitchen after the cold ride, the shock of meeting her nightmare head on, whatever it was, Jessie had to fight to keep upright as her head spun. The walls throbbed, in and out, squeezing all the breath out of her. Hands pulled her forward and pressed her into a chair. She sagged, bending forward and hugging her stomach.
She didn’t know how long she sat there, rocking back and forth. Bodies moved around, and light voices chatted quietly. She let the sounds sink into her as if from far away. She remembered…
It wasn’t this kitchen, but one almost the same. Mama rocked back and forth, singing quietly as she fed Patrick. Jessie was a good girl. Yesterday she kept Ben and Ranger outside while Mama birthed her new baby.
Outside, Trace, Simon, and Jack laughed as they played a boy’s running game. Even Ben and Ranger could play though they were a year younger than she was. But she couldn’t keep up because her skirts got caught between her legs and tripped her.
She had as many brothers as the fingers on one hand. She prayed hard every day, morning and night, for God to bring her a sister. She promised she’d always be a good girl if God made Mama’s baby a girl.
But God sent Patrick instead. Another brother. That meant God didn’t want her to be a good girl. She couldn’t be bad, because it made Mama cry. And whoever made Mama cry, got a whupping.
Through the window she heard her hero, Trace, yell that he was first, again. She loved his voice, especially when he sang to her when she was scared. He was always a good boy. If God didn’t want her to be a good girl, she’d be like Trace.
The memory faded. She heard two women chatting quietly nearby. Beth and Amelia. The next time she put on a dress was for Louisa’s wedding. That brought lusting eyes and Fin’s attack. She was forced to wear them in Virginia, but never without a knife or three strapped to her body.
No matter how hard she tried, she wasn’t a man like Trace, strong and independent. She was female. Men liked women weak and dependent. The laws were made to keep them that way. First by their fathers, then their husbands. She was smarter than Fin or Hugh, but she didn’t have a cock between her legs. A woman’s brain meant nothing. Only her ability to feed, clothe, and have sex with a man, and then raise his children. Not hers, as a woman didn’t even have the right to her own body, much less what she brought forth from it.
When she married Ace, strong, confident cowboy Jessie Elliott would disappear. Mrs. Kenrick Langford, who didn’t even have a name of her own, would take over.
“Oh, Mama, if only you’d lived,” she whispered.
She crossed her arms over her knees. She fought it as long as she could, but tears leaked out. She snuffled. Someone crouched beside her and rubbed her back, just like Mama used to do. Something broke inside her, and everything fell out.
* * * *
Beth murmured quiet words as Jessie sobbed. Having enjoyed independence for a few days before being forced to marry Trace, her own eyes teared up in remembrance for what Jessie believed she had lost.
“She’s crying as if her life is over,” murmured Amelia.
“It is,” replied Beth quietly. “Ranger said she had to be tough and strong to survive under Finan MacDougal’s hand. As long as she followed his orders, she could pretty much do what she wanted. She loved to be outdoors. When she completed her studies in Virginia she was finally free. Ranger said she expected to be his partner, living like a cowboy for the rest of her life.” Beth looked down at the sobbing woman. “I expect that dream was all that kept her going. And now it’s gone.”
Amelia poured hot water into an enamel bowl and set it on the table. She placed her precious rose-scented soap and a clean flannel beside it. “We have to show her that being a wife isn’t a type of living death.”
Beth stayed near as Jessie’s sobs slowed. Every couple of breaths came with a shudder. Finally, she breathed almost normally. Beth patted her shoulder and moved away to give her space.
“When you’re ready, wash your face and we’ll h
ave a glass of cordial,” said Beth.
“I thought most women offer a cup of tea when someone breaks down,” croaked Jessie.
“Beth and I are not ‘most women,’ and neither are you.” Amelia pressed a handkerchief into Jessie’s hand. She took the cordial out from behind a pile of baby diapers and poured three equal glasses.
“I’m a damn good cowboy,” said Jessie.
Beth noted she blew her nose quietly, unlike her brothers. Jessie may fight it, but she was a feminine woman. She just hadn’t had a chance to find that out. She was raised like her brothers and then treated as a ranch hand in Texas. Then she had to learn to survive in the excruciatingly proper Virginian society, following rules that used to make Beth scream inside her head. Jessie needed to find herself. She couldn’t do it surrounded by testosterone-charged men butting heads over her.
“I can dress up pretty and flutter my fan like a lady, pretending I don’t have anything as vulgar as a brain.” Jessie sat up and glared at them. “But I can’t be a wife. I hate being inside all day. I want to have control over my life, not bow down to my husband as if he’s the master of my life, just because he has a cock and I don’t.”
Beth held back a smile at Jessie’s stubborn lower lip. She’d seen the same look on James, though he was only six months old.
“Actually, you’ll have three cocks bending down to you,” said Amelia. “If that’s what you want. Blackcurrant cordial?”
Jessie lifted her red-splotched face. She nodded her thanks and took a sip. Beth laughed when she spluttered.
“This is nothing like the cordial they serve out East!”
“No one makes cordial like Rowena Jones,” said Amelia reverently. “She’s gone back East but passed on her secrets to us. One of them is the proportion of alcohol to fruit, as in very high.”
Beth lifted her glass in a toast. Amelia followed. They waited until Jessie lifted hers as well.
“Together we are stronger than all nine of our men. The law might be on their side, but we control the home.”
“And the bed,” added Amelia.
They clinked glasses and turned to Jessie. She did the same and finished her glass. Amelia topped them all off. Jessie gulped the second down. Beth nodded and Amelia filled Jessie’s glass again. In another ten minutes or so, Jessie would be far more relaxed. She would answer questions from her heart. Questions that needed answering.
“I didn’t want to marry either,” said Beth. “But Frank Chambers locked me in jail.”
“He took her boots because she hoofed Big Joe between the legs,” said Amelia. “Joe didn’t like it when Beth refused his suit. Mayor Orville Rivers said Beth had to marry by midnight. Old Walt Chamberlain was the only man with enough gumption to stand up to Big Joe and put his name forward.”
“Charlie, the deputy, had opened the cell door and was attacking me when this tall, handsome man with a broken voice rescued me,” continued Beth. “He kissed me, and I was lost. That night he showed me why a woman wants to be married. I found out the next day he had two other reasons, Simon and Jack!”
“My older sister, Prudence, was married to Gillis,” said Amelia. “After I got these burns, no man would court me.” She tilted her head to show Jessie the scars.
“That’s nothing,” said Jessie. “Did you want to marry?”
“No, but Prue thought I would be happy with Nevin. She knew she wasn’t going to live long after her baby was born, and begged me to come raise Hope. When my father died, it was either sign the wedding contract Gillis sent or have my horrid cousin lock me in the attic because I was so ugly. So I came to Tanner’s Ford with Nevin’s ring on my finger.”
“But, you’re married to Ross.” Jessie frowned in confusion.
“Yes, but I didn’t know that until the next morning. By then I’d fallen for Ross. Since Nev was supposed to be my husband, and he looks so much like Ross, it was easy to fall for him as well. Because Gil was mourning my sister, it took a while to get him to realize that life must go on. ”
“How is that going?” asked Beth.
“He’s making up for lost time,” said Amelia, blushing.
* * * *
Jessie blinked at Beth and Amelia. Her head buzzed, but in a good way. She put her empty glass down, almost missing the table, and leaned back. She didn’t know women could talk openly about sex the way men did. She finally had someone who might understand how she felt.
“I used to think Henry was sweet. He likes to do special things for me, like finding a pretty rock and putting it by my plate at supper. He doesn’t say anything, but I know.”
“You’re right, that is sweet,” said Amelia. “Nevin brought me flowers the first morning.” Her eyes sparkled. “But it was really an excuse to catch me sleeping. Naked.”
“Why don’t you think Henry’s sweet anymore?”
Jessie gulped at answering Beth’s question. She squared her shoulders and spoke the truth. “He’s still sweet during the day and when the others are around, but when it’s only the two of us, he gets a bit possessive.”
Beth rolled her eyes. “Don’t they all! What about Sin?”
“He’s the biggest, with the widest chest and long fingers. He’s really, really good with his fingers and tongue.” She thought for a moment. “Henry’s pretty darn good as well.”
“Does the rest of their body match?” asked Beth.
“Big men, big feet, big cocks,” chanted Amelia.
“And big, cold feet,” laughed Beth. “What about Ace?”
“Ace sees me as an equal in bed. He likes to cuddle after.”
“I don’t think you want to know about your brothers,” said Beth. “But I love them all, and I’m happier than I could ever imagine.”
“I never knew what love was, until I fell for Ross, then Nevin, and Gil.” Amelia sighed. She met Beth’s glance and shared a smile.
“How do you know that you love them?” asked Jessie quietly. “I haven’t seen love since my parents died. I don’t know how it feels.”
“How do you feel when Ace is near? Do you want to kiss him?”
“Yes, but at the same time I also want to smack him half the time.”
“Sounds like love.” Amelia and Beth shared a laugh.
“Jessie, you would not have let Ace into your body unless you loved him,” said Beth gently. “Before they all left tonight, Ranger told us how you looked at Ace, and Sin and Henry, when you didn’t think anyone saw you. And they look at you the same. Wanting, but not sure if you want them.”
“Sin was the only one who would come near me for three weeks. He rubbed my back a couple of times at the beginning. After that, he kept away as well.”
“Hon,” said Beth, “Sin was the only one who knew you weren’t a boy. That first time he rubbed your back? He did it to see if you had bindings on. Then he came to Trace to ask permission to court you, so Ace could marry you. He knew you were suited, just as Ranger did.”
“I realize now that Ranger set me up to find a husband he approved of, but I can’t believe Trace knew and let me stay.”
“Sin promised you would not be touched while you worked there.”
“I wasn’t. It was only after, when I went swimming at the hot spring, and Ace found me.” Jessie flushed at the memory. “That was the first time he realized I was female.”
“What do you think about him as a husband?”
“He said I could stay at the ranch as long as I followed orders, but he would never, ever marry a woman like me. Because I’m not a lady.”
“That was his fear talking, hon,” said Beth. “Those men love you as much as you do them. They just aren’t ready to admit to it yet. And you are every inch a lady.”
Amelia held out her glass. “Sisters?”
Jessie’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. She bit her lip. She nodded and held out her glass. “I always wanted a sister.”
“Next on the list is to build you a home,” said Beth.
“A home?” Jessie blink
ed.
“Someplace where you can feel safe and loved. Where you can surround yourself with whatever you want.” Amelia pointed to the front room. “I have my sister’s lace and quilt pictures.”
“I love the wonderful drawings Amelia made of Trace and James,” added Beth. “And my children, James and Bridie and Meggie—”
“Daniel, Hope and this little one,” continued Amelia.
Jessie looked at their bellies. She might be growing a child of her own already. She gulped.
“If I had to do all the work I do, but for someone else, especially without pay, I would hate it as much as you do,” said Beth. “But I love my home, my men, and my children. I’m happy caring for them. Just as Trace, Simon and Jack are happy to care for us.”
“I’m not as good at this home-making yet,” said Amelia ruefully. “But Auntie is such a help, and Daniel as well.”
“I couldn’t do it without Meggie and Bridie,” said Beth. “We’re a family, working together, each doing what we’re best at.”
“I’m the best cowboy on the Double Diamond,” said Jessie.
“When we design your home, we’ll make sure to make a place for a housekeeper,” concluded Beth. “That way you’ll have someone to do those things you’d rather not. You could hire a woman who would have no place to go otherwise.”
“I never thought of that,” said Jessie. She slurred her words a bit.
“I think it’s time we find our beds,” said Beth.
“With no men in sight for once, we’ll get to sleep all night,” said Amelia smugly.
“Unfortunately.”
Chapter Twenty
“Tell that damn woodpecker to use a tree instead of my head.”
Sin’s yell bounced around in Ace’s head like a billiard ball. He groaned. The tapping continued. Ace opened one eye halfway. He carefully shifted his head toward the door. Yes, the noise came from that direction.
“Whatever you want, go away,” he called out.