by Lisa Kessler
Adam
I gripped the steering wheel so tight that my hands ached. When I glanced down at my bruised knuckles on my right hand, part of me still couldn’t believe I’d punched Aren. True, he had been a total asshole, but it hadn’t been the first time. However, it was the first time I ever clocked him for it.
My gut clenched and I looked back out at the highway in front of me. If I had stayed out of the Hot Rod Café, maybe I could have avoided all of this.
But I knew I’d do it all over again. In a heartbeat.
The corner of my mouth curved up in a crooked smile. I definitely had it bad. Was love supposed to make you this insane? I felt like I was on a roller coaster. One moment I was holding her in my arms and the rest of the world faded away, the next I was lying to my family and punching my twin brother in the nose. I’d never felt such depth of emotion in my entire life. I thought I’d known what passion was, but now I realized that until I sparred with Lana that first night, I never really had any clue.
So how could I make Aren understand?
When I pulled up to the ranch, Aren was sitting on the front porch. Apparently, I was going to get the chance to make him understand sooner than I’d realized. I parked the Jeep and got out. I wasn’t sure what to say. Aren’s face didn’t look black and blue, which was a relief. It took more than one punch to really mess up a werewolf. We healed pretty quickly.
Aren stood but kept his hands in his pockets instead of clasping forearms with me. “You didn’t come home.”
“I couldn’t leave Lana alone, and I couldn’t bring her here either so…” I shrugged. “I’ve gotta grab some clothes and call Luke. He’ll have to run the ranch for a few days while I’m in San Antonio.”
“Texas?” Aren’s eyes widened a little, and his hands pressed deeper into his pockets. “Please tell me you’re not going with her.”
“We have to go check something out down there. We’ll be back in a few days.”
“She’s luring you away from the Pack, you realize that, right?”
I shook my head. “Don’t start this with me, Aren. I don’t want to fight with you, but I’m not going to lie to you anymore either.”
“What are you going to tell the Pack? We’re already down one man, and we know there’s another jaguar in town besides the one you’re sleeping with.”
I ground my teeth, struggling to keep my rage in check. The last thing I needed was to hit Aren again. My twin was every bit as strong as I was, and I doubted he would walk away without a fight this time.
“The Pack will be fine. If I take Lana from here, Sebastian will leave too. It’s her he’s after, not us.”
“He’ll leave so he and Lana can ambush you in Texas while you’re away from the Pack.”
Jesus, he was pissing me off. I brushed past Aren and stormed into my house, but I could hear him following me.
“This is dangerous, Adam. It’s not a game. Gabe is dead.”
I spun on my heel to face him with an angry glare. “Do you honestly think I don’t know that? Gabe died in my arms, remember? Lana didn’t do it.”
“That doesn’t mean she didn’t have anything to do with it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Do you think I’m stupid? Is that what you think?”
“No, but I think this woman has you blinded.”
“You know what I think? I think you owe me a little more respect, and I think you should trust me. Lana is my mate. That’s not going to change. You can either learn to accept it, or stay the hell away from us.”
I walked down the hallway, my hands trembling with adrenaline. I grabbed a duffel bag from my closet and started tossing in jeans and Tshirts while my mind wrestled with torn allegiances. I didn’t have any good choices. Leaving my mate went against every wolf instinct, not to mention I just plain loved her. I’d never met another woman like Lana. But if I stayed with her, I’d be forced to leave the Pack.
After tossing in my shaving kit and assorted toiletries, I yanked the zipper closed and hauled the oversized bag over my shoulder. Aren was waiting in the living room. He stood up and my teeth ground together. None of this was fair. I always pictured that when we finally found our mates, we’d live close by, go on double dates, raise our sons together. But those dreams changed the day I realized my mate was a jaguar.
I kept my face expressionless as I approached my twin. “I’ll call Luke. I’d appreciate it if you kept an eye out for him just in case he has trouble with any of the horses or owners.”
Aren nodded. “We watch out for our own,” he said with a clipped bite to his words.
“Thanks.” I held my hand out toward my brother, not knowing if he’d take it. Aren clasped my forearm and tugged me into a firm embrace.
“Be well, Adam.”
I held my brother tight until I felt the tension in his back relax. I pulled back with a nod. “Thanks Aren. See you soon.”
I walked out and closed the door behind me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lana
I wanted to ask Adam what happened when he went back to the ranch, but I didn’t. He’d been brooding ever since he got back to the hotel to pick me up. We didn’t check out of the hotel though. It was worth paying for a couple of extra days if it could slow Sebastian and Nero down a little. Neither one of us knew the area very well in San Antonio, so it would be tougher to dodge our enemies there. With any luck, we could get my records and be back before Sebastian realized we left Reno.
We went back to the Hot Rod Café and took my rental car to the airport. I hadn’t used it since Sebastian came on the scene in Reno so we figured we were less likely to be tailed if we took it instead of Chaney. Besides, it would save me some money to return it. We checked our bags, and soon we were soaring over Nevada, headed south to Texas. I looked over to see Adam had already put on headphones and closed his eyes. Apparently he still wasn’t ready to talk. I blew out a frustrated sigh and stared out the window.
I loved flying. Seeing the land changing below us as we soared through the clouds was exhilarating, yet somehow calming. Gradually, the dense trees thinned, and a smile surprised me when I heard the captain point out that we were flying over the Grand Canyon. I pressed my face to the plastic like a little kid at a Macy’s window at Christmastime. Even from thousands of feet above the earth, the canyon below was awe-inspiring. All the sunset colors blended together to make nature’s masterpiece below.
“Makes our problems seem insignificant, doesn’t it?”
Hearing his voice so soft, his lips brushing against my ear, made me melt back against him as I nodded and turned to look back at him. “You remember how to speak.”
He almost smiled. “Yeah. Sorry I’ve been so quiet.”
“Care to let me in on it?”
His shoulders tensed, and he settled back into his seat. “Not yet.”
I looked back out the window, watching the Grand Canyon fade from view. A sigh escaped me before I could hold it back. A few hours ago Adam told me he loved me. He told me I was his mate. But since then he’d been silent. And definitely not happy.
Insecurity wrapped me in its cold embrace. It whispered that I didn’t deserve to be loved, I never had. I knew he’d gone back to the ranch, and my brain filled in the blanks. Maybe Aren had told him to choose. Me or the Pack. I never should have let him into my heart.
I glanced over my shoulder. His eyes were closed, headphones in place. He was someplace else. Maybe he wished his wolf wiring had chosen differently. Staring out the airplane window, I tried to silence the voice in my head. Adam loved me. I saw it in his eyes when he held me in his arms. He meant it.
But he also loved his family. His brother would have welcomed me with open arms if I had been a nice wolf-y chick.
Except according to Adam there weren’t female wolves. He’d have to bite someone. I shuddered at the thought. What would happen to me if he bit me? Would I be some sort of crazy half wolf half cat? Suddenly the image of the sick cartoon CatDog popped in my head, an
d I closed my eyes tight, wishing I could wash all thought from my stupid brain. I was making myself crazy.
Adam’s hand stroked my back slow and firm, gradually caressing the tension from my muscles. His comfort gave me a temporary reprieve from the mental assault. I let my head fall forward, and he kneaded my shoulders until I nearly purred. When he stopped, my mind had cleared a little, and I turned to look at him.
He leaned forward and kissed my lips before whispering, “I’m sorry I’m lousy company.”
I could feel my eyes getting hot and did my best to keep back the tears. “I’m sorry I’m not a better mate for you and your family.”
His brow furrowed and he reached up to cup my face. “You’re perfect for me. No other woman has ever made me feel the way I do when I’m with you. In fact, my Alpha was worried I’d be playing the field forever. Apparently I was waiting to find you.”
I looked down at my lap. “You’ve been so quiet. I thought you were having second thoughts.”
He lifted my chin to meet his gaze. “I love you, Lana.”
His tender kiss sealed any doubts I might have had. When our lips parted, he slid his hand down to clasp mine. Our fingers entwined together and neither of us let go until we landed in San Antonio.
…
We got off the plane and caught a cab to our hotel. I couldn’t help gawking when we arrived. The hotel’s website hadn’t prepared me for the European opulence in front of me.
“This is the Fairmount?”
The driver nodded, tallying up the fare. “The Jewel of San Antonio.”
Adam paid while I climbed out and stared at the canopied entrance. He walked up beside me with our bags and smiled. “Not what you were expecting?”
“I just reserved a hotel on the Riverwalk that had a room available. From the ‘Jewel of San Antonio’ title I assumed it would be more like the Alamo, you know? A western-themed place or something.”
The Fairmount looked more like a New England Victorian estate than anything conjured up in the Wild West. Adam stepped up to the entrance and opened the glass doors. While I stared at the large chandelier and ornately carved front desk, a large golden retriever galloped right past me to maul Adam with affection.
“Hey, boy!” Adam laughed, letting our duffel bags drop to the floor so he could properly scratch his new best friend’s ears.
“Duke!” the concierge called, chasing after the dog.
Adam glanced over at the uptight hotel clerk and grinned back down at the wiggling dog. “So your name is Duke?”
The dog barked in answer, and I almost jumped out of my skin. Dogs and cats! I rolled my eyes.
Watching Adam and Duke playing together made me smile. I hadn’t seen an animal yet that didn’t love Adam. It was like they knew he would understand them.
The concierge gave us a well-practiced patronizing smile. “Welcome to the Fairmount. I hope Duke didn’t startle you. He’s never met a guest he didn’t like.”
Adam stood back up. “He’s a great welcoming committee.”
“That he is, sir. In fact, he’s our Director of Pet Relations, so if you find yourself missing a furry friend back home, Duke is happy to go out for a walk with you or meet up for a good brushing. He’ll even bring you the paper in the morning.”
“Wow! You’re a busy dog, aren’t you?” Adam offered the eager canine another scratch behind the ear.
The concierge cleared his throat and glanced over at me. Whoops. “Oh, I’m Lana Turpin. We have a reservation for a queen room.”
His eyes lit up. “Perfect. Please follow me, and we’ll get you checked in.”
Before we knew it, we were heading up to the third floor. Duke accompanied us to the elevator, allowing us both to pet him while we waited for the double doors to open. Once we got into our room, Adam dropped our bags and I set up my laptop. “I’m just going to let the PI know we’re here and see if he’s made any progress yet.”
“Sounds good.” Adam went to the window, peering out from between the drapes.
While my computer warmed up, I flipped through my contacts on my phone to find Bob Jones’s number. He’d come highly recommended and apparently worked plenty of custody cases. Before I clicked “send,” I pulled up my email. I had two from Bob already. Nice.
The first one was just letting me know he’d be meeting with a friend in the department later today. But the second one made me smile. “He’s got it.”
Adam turned around. “Your file?”
I nodded and glanced over at him. “That’s what he says.”
Hope swelled inside me and I did my best to tamp it down. It could be the wrong file, or it could be empty. Life had let me down enough times not to be wary.
I punched “send.” Here goes nothing.
“Bob Jones here.”
“Bob, it’s Lana.”
“Are you in San Antonio yet?” I could hear the smile in his Texas drawl. “Did you get my email?”
“Yes to both. You got my file.”
“Sure did. I checked it over to be sure it was the right one.” He paused, and I held my breath. “Not much in there, but it’s definitely yours.”
I stared at Adam’s back, my heart sinking a bit. “How soon can I get the file from you?”
“I can meet you first thing in the morning.”
I told him where we were staying and scheduled a meeting in the lobby at nine a.m., but before he could hang up, I blurted out. “Can you check something else for me?”
“Sure thing. What do you need?”
“Can you tell me the date I entered the system?”
I heard papers shuffling and Bob hummed a little. “Seems that someone’s been through these. There’s nothing here referencing when you entered the system. There’s transfer papers to foster homes. The first transfer I see shows October 12,1988.”
Adam turned toward me, and I dropped my gaze to the carpet, listening to pages turning on the other end of the line. “This is supposed to be a sealed file, but there aren’t any medical records here either. I see some school records…”
“Thanks, Bob. I’ll go through it in depth tomorrow. See you then.”
I hung up the phone and tossed it onto my duffel. Adam sat in the other chair. “Everything okay? We’re getting the file in the morning?”
“Yeah.” I lifted my eyes to meet his. “What’s left of it.”
He frowned. “What?”
“If Nero is as well connected as Sebastian led me to believe, I should’ve expected this.”
His shoulders tensed. “They got to your case file.”
“Sounds like it.” My chest felt tight. All my medical records, any potential report written about my parents or the reasons behind surrendering me to the state, were in the hands of some faceless entity. I felt violated all over again.
“Once they had my name it probably wasn’t too difficult. With someone on the inside they could grab what they needed and no one would be the wiser.”
Adam got up and stood behind me. His strong hands rubbed the back of my neck and shoulders. “I’m sorry, Lana.”
I sighed and rested my head back against him. Closing my eyes, I let out a breath, struggling to let go of the emotion and think. And then it came to me. My fingers flew to the laptop keyboard.
“Got an idea?” Adam asked.
“Maybe.” I got on the San Antonio Express-News newspaper’s website and started searching. “Bob mentioned the records for my foster care transfers were still in the file. The first one was in October of 1988. It might be worth checking to see if there was any mention of a baby being found anywhere…” I scanned the headlines.
“Did you find something?”
“The archives on the website don’t go back far enough.” I groaned and glanced at the clock. “The library is probably closed by now, too.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “After we get the file from Bob, I’ll go to the library. They should have the old papers archived. With some of the records missing, this might be my only chanc
e at answers.”
He kissed the top of my head. “We’ll hunt down the info in the morning. Are you hungry?” Until he mentioned it, I hadn’t been, but now my stomach grumbled in answer, making him smile. “How’s pizza sound?”
Papa John’s delivered a large all-meat pizza and Adam found “Three Amigos” on television. We ate while watching TV on the bed, and a feeling of peace settled over me. This could be my life. I’d have to fight for it, but I’d never wanted anything more.
Adam put the empty pizza box on the table. I watched the way his body moved and wet my lips. I’d never felt very lucky in my life, but the moment he turned back and smiled at me, I was the luckiest woman on earth. Part of me still didn’t feel worthy, but I stuffed a sock in her mouth.
Adam laid down facing me. “Feel better?”
I nodded, chuckling. “I always thought I could eat like a truck driver and never gain an ounce because I had a high metabolism.”
He shrugged a shoulder with a crooked smile that made my breath catch. “It’s a perk of being a shifter.” He searched my eyes, his rough finger tracing my jaw. “How are you holding up? Tomorrow’s going to be a big day.”
I couldn’t help nuzzling into his touch. “I’m ready. I need to know, and with any luck, it’ll help us figure out how to get Nero out of my life.” I kissed his lips softly. “I don’t want to run anymore.”
He bent to kiss me, and my heart jumped in my chest. His muscles tensed under my fingers as I slid my hands up his chest. He hummed into my mouth as our tongues swirled, and his arms clasped me tight against him. The musky, male scent of his skin made my stomach clench with desire. Feeling him pressed against me made all the rest of the world fade away.
Maybe that was what happened when you were in love. I’d had relationships before, but this was the first time I’d ever said “I love you.” It was the first time I’d ever been with someone who made it past my defenses and into my heart.
Without breaking the kiss, he walked me back toward the bed, my fingers making quick work of the button and zipper of his jeans. When I felt the mattress against the back of my calves, I stopped walking and pulled him back onto the sheets with me. His hands slipped under my shirt, cupping my breasts and teasing my nipples until I was aching for him to rip my clothes off. I broke the kiss long enough to yank his shirt over his head before our lips fused back together. His skin felt hot and slick, and I wanted him.