by R. J. Blain
With another groan, I banged my head into the truck’s dashboard. “I’m too drunk for this. Let me think for a bit.”
“I’ll have coffee for you once we’re on board,” my friend promised.
“If the Inquisition believes he’s been kidnapped, that’s better for him, right?” Evelyn asked.
Zachary made a thoughtful noise before replying, “Possibly.”
“Could you make it look like we’ve both been kidnapped?”
I grunted, waving my hand dismissively. “Impossible. Absolutely not. I might get away with it because of my brother, but not you. They have your picture on file. They might believe you’ve been kidnapped, but they won’t treat you well.”
“Boss, please tell me she’s not one of their targets.”
Drumming my fingers against the dash, I considered how to handle the newest of my problems. “I won’t tell you she’s one of their targets. Instead, I’ll tell your truck. I know, truck. It’s difficult being us. You have to put up with him every day. Your owner is an idiot if he thinks I’d leave her for the Inquisition to find.”
Evelyn giggled.
“Okay, okay. Fine, I got the idea, Boss. Your sarcasm has improved. It must be the alcohol talking. I understand. Of course you wouldn’t abandon such a pretty lady. With her looks? I wouldn’t have abandoned her either.”
“Why, thank you,” was the Fenerec’s pleased reply.
I had no real reason to be jealous, but I was. “I wouldn’t leave any la—”
“Boss, be quiet before you get yourself in trouble.”
Evelyn’s laughter was sweet. “He’s fine, Zachary.”
“It’s not a far walk to where we board. Think you’ll make it that far, Boss? I’d rather not have to try to carry you. It’d rumple my uniform.”
I threw open the door and slid out. For a moment, I thought I’d make a one way trip to the asphalt, but with a little help from the truck, I stayed on my feet. “Next time, I stick to whiskey.”
“So there’ll be a next time?” Evelyn asked, her tone pleased.
Instead of answering, I grabbed our bag and headed in the direction of the Wave Dream. As far as cruise ships went, it was on the smaller size, although I knew it could easily carry eight hundred passengers. In the spotlights illuminating the piers, I could see that the hull had been repainted recently in white with blue accents.
“Not for a while, Miss,” Zachary chided, following after me, and despite my protests, he took the luggage from me. “Let’s get you both on board. Boss, you’ll be holed up in my quarters for the time being. A friend of mine will need to see your lady for a while in your stateroom.”
“She’s—”
“—delighted to meet your friend,” Evelyn replied, delivered in a tone warning me to keep my mouth shut.
I decided it was in my better interest to obey, so I swallowed back the rest of what I had been planning to say. Evelyn wasn’t my lady, no matter how badly I wanted her at the moment. “Why your quarters?”
“First, no one will bother you while you sleep off the wine. Second, I had it swept for bugs an hour ago. Third, it’s guarded by one of mine, so if someone from the Inquisition tries to install any listening devices, I’ll know about it. Just how much did you have, anyway?”
“A bit,” I evaded.
Once again, it was Evelyn who undid my efforts by saying, “Two or three bottles.”
“You’re going to be so hung over, Boss.”
I believed him.
~~*~~
Before Zachary let me crash in his quarters, he forced me to drink enough water to float the Wave Dream. It didn’t save me from the prophesied hangover. An army of little men with pickaxes dug their way through my skull. I didn’t want to know what had died in my mouth, but it had died and rotted, which was ultimately the reason I forced myself to get out of bed. Staggering to the bathroom, I splashed water on my face and went through the motions of getting ready for the day, wondering how long I’d been asleep and whether or not I could get away with going back to bed.
“You alive, Boss?” Zachary asked from the other room. I grunted, hoping I was loud enough for my friend to hear me. A chuckle answered me, followed by, “There’s breakfast and painkillers out here. We’re setting sail in a few hours. I have work to do, but you need to be functional. I just finished setting up a monitor tapping into our security system so you can watch the passengers boarding. It’s your job to identify all of the Inquisitors you can. I know I’ve missed at least a few.”
I splashed my face again before I staggered my way into Zachary’s private sitting room. He had an official Captain’s Quarters meant to impress any passengers who found their way into it. I preferred the private room, large and excessively decorated in a Victorian styling, including a fainting couch tucked in a corner and an antique globe that had probably been old when my grandfather had been born. Zach was perched on the edge of the floral-patterned couch, staring intently at a laptop set up on the coffee table.
A covered silver plate awaited me, reeking of bacon, eggs, and other foods deemed suitable for those suffering from excess. I swallowed as my stomach announced its dislike of even the thought of eating. A bottle of water and a pair of pills sat on the edge of the table, which I grabbed before flopping down next to my friend.
“You look like hell,” he said.
I grunted, twisting off the cap and downing half the bottle before swallowing the painkillers.
“Evelyn is in your stateroom, currently occupied. General boarding begins in twenty minutes. You have enough time to eat and grab a quick shower. I’m going to leave my cell with you and text you updates. Once we’ve set sail, I’ll sneak you out of here. Until then, make yourself at home.”
“What time is it?” I asked, squinting at the laptop’s screen. Four frames showed the gangway from various angles, ensuring I’d get a good look at everyone boarding the Wave Dream.
“Six in the morning. Tide changes at five after nine, which is when we’ll set sail. Seriously, eat and take a shower. You’ll feel better.” Zachary grinned at me. “For what it’s worth, she’s pretty and seems nice.”
I drank down the rest of the water and whacked my friend upside the head with the empty bottle. “She’s also a Fenerec.”
“Even better. She’ll take care of you for life, then. I know you, Boss. That’s not a problem. It’ll be nice seeing you with someone as serious about you as you are about her.”
The slight against Suzanne cut through my hangover, but before I could retort, Zachary lifted his hand. I swallowed back my desire to snap at him, waiting to see just what my friend had to say.
He sighed, plucking the bottle out of my hands. Setting it on the table, he leaned over, snatched up a new one, and gave it to me. “Face facts, Jackson. We both know you two were ice and fire. When she flared up, you melted and let her burn you. You loved her far more than she deserved. I’m not going to apologize, either, so don’t ask me to. She was a nice enough girl, but she didn’t treat you like you needed or deserved. So what if Evelyn is a Fenerec? She’ll take care of you until the day you die, without reservation.”
His words stung, and I clenched my teeth, which added to my headache. In my effort to push away my thoughts of Suzanne, I focused on his thoughts regarding Fenerec and their tendency to remain faithful to their mates for life. “I’m pretty sure she’s not supposed to be the one caring for me. When I’m eighty, she’ll look just like she does now. How is that fair to her?”
In the end, I had failed Suzanne. She had been my love, my life, and my responsibility. When she had died, I hadn’t made it to the hospital in time, leaving her alone in her final moments. I doubted I would ever forgive myself for that.
Death parted us, and I hadn’t been there for her.
“Sure, that’s the case if you were born in the eighteen hundreds. Cut the old-fashioned crap, Boss. A lady that pretty and friendly doesn’t show up every day. She likes you, that much is obvious, and judging from wha
t I interrupted, you like her right back. What’s the problem?”
“I won’t take advantage of her,” I snapped.
Zachary laughed, which only added to my irritation. I twisted the cap off the bottle and pinged it off his head.
Grinning, he waggled his finger at me. “It’s not taking advantage if she’s willing, and it’d take a blind idiot not to notice she’s willing. Trust me on this one. She’s a hot number, and she’s got good tastes. I bet if you proposed to her right now, she’d accept without hesitation. Don’t ruin such a good chance. At least consider it—or at least agree to date her!”
“I’ve known her for all of two days, Zach. Don’t you see a problem with that?”
“Three, technically. And no, I do not see a problem with that at all. You committed to Suzanne in far less time than that.”
I glared at him because I couldn’t deny the truth of his words.
“Think about it. I’ll sneak you down to the spa in the off hours, have them cut and dye your hair, trim that beard you’ve got going on, and get you some color-changing contacts. I’ll dress you up in a nice suit, and then I’ll marry you to the pretty lady while the setting sun lights the seas on fire. It’ll be glorious. Better yet, even if there are Inquisitors on board, not a single one of them will believe you’d be willing to wed anyone, let alone someone you just met.
My mouth dropped open. Me marry Evelyn? The thought was so absurd all I could do was blurt, “Zach!”
“Do you have a better idea? It’s brilliant, if I do say so myself. If you’re married to her, you can resume all of those nice things I interrupted earlier, free of guilt. You’ll thank me later. I have excellent tastes, I hope you know, and she’s about as perfect for you as I’ve seen. Do you doubt my judgment, Boss?”
“I think you need thrown overboard to restore you to your senses. I can’t marry a woman I’ve just met.”
“Actually, yes, you can. People do it all of the time. Ever hear of Las Vegas? It’s a fun town; you should go sometime. You’re an unbonded witch. She’s a Fenerec. It’s a great match.”
“Zach,” I growled.
“Do you have a better plan? Go shower and think about it. I have to get to work. I’ll check in on you right before we set sail. If you spot Inquisitors on the monitor, make a note of the time so we can review the images later.”
I sighed. “I’ll come up with a better plan, but I’ll tell you this much: I’m not going to sacrifice a woman on a washout like me just to dodge the Inquisition.”
Zach snorted, stood, and headed to the door. “Normal people get depressed when drunk, not during the hangover, Emmett. Don’t insult the lady when she likes you.”
“She doesn’t know me.”
“You’ll have time to get to know her on the cruise. I assure you, you’re an easy man to get a fix on, Boss. At least think about it. I can marry the two of you whenever I want. It’s time you let Suzanne go. You’re not going to find someone like Evelyn again. She’s gorgeous, smart, and has eyes only for you. If you throw away this chance, I’ll make you walk the plank. I’m sure I can find one on board somewhere,” he said before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
Chapter Five
One by one, I watched several hundred passengers board, managing to identify twenty Inquisitors by name. There were ten more I knew by reputation and from photographs. When boarding was nearly completed, my worst nightmare joined those in line to set sail on the Wave Dream.
My twin had no business sailing on the cruise ship, yet there he was, scowling at something the brown-haired woman beside him said. His annoyed expression deflated to a frown. She kept talking until she managed to work a pained smile out of my brother. My curiosity piqued as I realized she was the elegantly dressed woman in the picture sent with my orders for Oconee National Forest.
Not for the first time in my life, I envied twins who could sense each other. If we’d been closer, if we better fit the twin stereotype, he wouldn’t have believed I was gone. Behind his smile, I saw his anguish. I captured an image of them, wondering just what I had done to my brother in my hastily devised plan to avoid those who had killed my fellow Inquisitors.
Hiding from more than thirty Inquisitors, one of whom was the Shadow Pope, came too close to impossible for my liking. The only good thing I could see about the situation was that my twin’s presence ensured the death of Zachary’s idea to marry Evelyn and me. Dye, color contacts, and basic changes to my appearance wouldn’t fool my brother.
That was one thing we got right. No matter how often he tried to surprise me, or the number of years that separated our visits, I always knew my twin at a glance, and he knew me.
Maybe I’d let Zach force me into walking the plank. It’d be my best chance of escape. With scuba gear, if he dumped me in shallow water, I could walk my way to shore. With a grimace, I leaned back and pinched the bridge of my nose. Maybe I’d skip the scuba gear when I walked the plank; my problems would come to an end in however long it took me to drown.
I didn’t swim. I sank like a stone, much to the disgust and dismay of each and every person who had attempted to teach me. It was a problem many Earth witches shared. Popular opinion among the Inquisition was that there was no way I was possibly a strong enough witch to suffer from my element’s opposition to water. It was less of an opposition, I felt, than it was the fact water liked me so much that it didn’t want to let me go.
My twin had laughed long and hard when I had presented the theory to him, along with my complaints about my swimming troubles.
If anyone was doomed to drown in a puddle, it’d be me.
I was reaching for Zach’s cell when I heard the door creak open behind me.
“It’s an hour before departure,” my friend said, his voice breathless. “How’s the passenger list looking?”
I rubbed my temples. “Your crew is going to kill you for sneaking off so close to setting sail.”
“They’ll live. How’s the count?”
After a moment of thought, wondering when I should drop the bomb on my friend, I replied, “About twice what you were expecting. His Dark Holiness just boarded.”
I felt Zachary push against the couch before he leaned over my shoulder. “No fucking way.”
“Yes, fucking way,” I replied, pointing at one of the frames, which showed my brother and the woman heading up the ramp to board. While a handful of others boarded after my twin, I paid them no attention. “He brought his girlfriend as well. He looks fit to kill.”
“Fuck. Sixteen Inquisitors I could handle. Thirty-two plus the Shadow Pope? What the hell did you do, Boss? They’ll rip my ship apart.” Zachary groaned, flopping limply over the back of the couch. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to get you out of here to your stateroom without one of them catching you, let alone force you to walk the plank. I’d launch a jet ski overboard, but with your cursed luck, you’d just drown before making shore. Maybe I can sneak you and Evelyn off ship after dark, assuming she knows how to swim and can keep your head above water. Damn it.”
“Sorry, Zach.”
“You did what you had to do, whatever that was. You’re not the reckless type, not usually. Are you certain he’s the Shadow Pope?”
I twisted around to glare at my friend. “I think I’d recognize my own brother. You know, the guy who looks exactly the same as I do?” At the rate my sarcasm was improving, I’d be as much of a smartass as Zachary given a week or two.
“Well, shit. I was hoping, okay?”
“I know. Well, if he’s here, I promise you there are a lot of Inquisitors on board. They’d never let him out without a good guard. We’ll have to figure out who they are.” Drumming my hands on the coffee table, I watched the final passengers board the ship. Information was what I needed before I could make a solid plan. Once I had a good idea of how many Inquisitors were actually on board, maybe I could think of something to help me escape with Evelyn. “Can you pull up a list of all bookings since Monday morning?
If we assume everyone from that point forward is an Inquisitor, it might give us a bit of an advantage.”
“At this point, I think the only thing left to do is to set this cursed ship on fire, sink her, and evacuate everyone,” Zachary grumbled. “I need a new boat anyway—and a better route. I’m due for a promotion.”
“I’m pretty sure those who set their ships on fire do not get promotions, Zachary.”
“They do when no one is injured during the emergency. It also helps if no one discovers that the captain was the one setting the fire,” was my friend’s disgruntled reply.
“Zachary, I really don’t think we should set your ship on fire. She’s too precious to you—and she’s far too valuable.”
“She’s over forty years old, Boss. She’s due to retire. So long as everyone gets off safe and sound, there’s no better burial than one at sea for a good boat like her. I’ve got three rogue witches as crew. Even if you’re not caught, they might be. I’d blow the Wave Dream sky high if it means I can keep them safe. We have to do something.”
I winced, and thinking about my brother’s Red Beast, I understood completely. “What kind of witches?”
“Two fire and a water witch. They’re useful on board a ship like this.”
If I was going to help Zach sink his ship, fire witches would help a lot—and make the process a lot safer for everyone involved. “Would they be willing to help?”
“To avoid being caught by the Inquisition? I’m certain of it. But if the Inquisitors have their own fire witches on board, we’re busted.”
The Inquisitors likely had fire witches among them, but I didn’t mention it; Zachary didn’t need to add to his worries. Fire witches were the most common type, with water witches coming a close second. I considered the problem, humming tunelessly. “Maybe I can start a fire in the cargo bay big enough to warrant an evacuation? They won’t have access to there,” I suggested. “If there’s enough smoke, you’d need to clear the ship off, right?”