by Jeannie Moon
Gavin was a doctor, Eli a lawyer, but Dan had a way of seeing to the heart of a matter, which made Gavin wonder what had happened that he took the drive to Bozeman.
“Why don’t you explain this to me instead of talking in code.”
Dan rubbed his hand across his cheek. “Ally.”
It seemed that was everyone’s favorite conversation to have with him. Too bad he didn’t want to talk about it. Gavin hadn’t been able to get Ally out of his head since the kiss they shared in the gazebo. It gave him the kind of rush that said he and Ally would either be really good together or would be really bad for each other. This middle ground they were on at the moment wasn’t going to last.
“What about her?”
“She was at the diner today having lunch with her ma, I don’t know how it came up, but your name got tossed around with the term ‘friends with benefits’ attached. Ally was even more embarrassed when her mom said something, loud enough for everyone to hear, about Ally needing sex.”
“For Christ’s sake. Parents. They do it to us every time.”
“Based on reports out of the diner, Ally just about crawled under the table when a few volunteers offered to help her out.” Dan was chuckling and having a good time at Ally’s expense, or Gavin’s, depending on how you looked at it.
The thought of anyone making offers to Ally made Gavin’s blood boil. Which was another problem. He was starting to feel things for her again. It was more than physical; he wanted her. All to himself.
They’d been texting, and there had been a few late night phone conversations that gave him a look at the woman she’d become. It was true she was no longer the girl he knew in high school. She was better. Yeah, she still had a huge heart, and was whip smart, but Ally was also accomplished, sassy, and five-alarm sexy. Pretty damn perfect.
He was screwed.
“She walks back into my life and everything gets complicated.”
Dan laughed. “I remember watching you when the pair of you were in high school, and all I could think was that you two were going to love each other forever, or kill each other.”
“She must have been so embarrassed.”
Dan nodded. “I’m guessin’. What are you going to do? You have to go to that wedding with her in a few days. Are you rooming together, because that could prove to be a problem.” Dan took a sip off his beer. “Or not, depending on your point of view.”
“Fucking point of view. Of course it would be bad. She lives in Seattle. I live here. That doesn’t make for an easy relationship. What am I supposed to do?”
Ally said they wouldn’t have to worry about sharing a bed, but just being in the same room with her meant he’d be in a constant state of agony. The woman had him tied in knots.
Dan was no help, shrugging it off and grabbing for the remote.
“Comfortable?” Gavin asked.
“Yep. Good thing too, since I’m sleeping here.”
“You are?” Gavin enjoyed the closeness he had with his family—most of the time. This was not one of those times.
“I’m drinking, it’s late—I’m not going back to Marietta tonight. I’ll be out of your hair early. Probably leave about five.”
Perfect. Tomorrow he didn’t have to be up at the buttcrack of dawn, and Dan was not his quiet brother. “I guess I’ll go to the gym in the morning.”
“If you’d get your ass back to the ranch more and do physical work, you wouldn’t need a gym.”
“I’ll tell that to the crazed patient I wrestled to the floor this morning.”
“Stubborn stallion kicked and tried to bite me today.”
“Yeah, me too.” Gavin stood and grabbed a book he’d been reading.
“What? Are you shittin’ me?”
“Nope. Wouldn’t think of it.” He looked back at his brother, who’d flipped on ESPN. “Are we done with the pissing contest?”
Nodding, his brother asked another question. “Where are you going with Ally? Some ranch resort or whatever the hell it is.”
Gavin sat on the arm of the sofa. “It’s called Whispering River Ranch. Hundreds of acres. It looks nice.”
His brother took out his phone, and after a little searching came up with the destination. “Damn, this place is more than nice. Even the tents have big bathrooms.”
“Yeah. I think we’re staying in one of those big tents. She said they have sofa beds so we won’t have to... ah... share.”
“Well that’s a damn shame.”
“What are you driving at, Danny? I’m too fucking tired to play your mind games.”
“Look...” Dan stood, walking to the window at the front of the apartment. He looked out, all while exacting a posture only a real cowboy could pull off. “You and Ally have been headed down this road for a long time. The two of you should be together. Why you’re fighting it, I don’t know, but the woman is smart, funny, and gorgeous. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.” Gavin ran his fingers through his hair. “Maybe I don’t want to mess up a good thing.” That was a lie. What they had going on wasn’t good. It was torture.
“Right. You’re scared.”
“Scared? No.”
“Sure you are, and you should be.”
“Really. And you have all this relationship experience? I don’t think you’ve had a steady girlfriend since you were in seventh grade.”
Dan leaned back with a shit-eatin’ grin on his face. “Yeah. Pam Belton. She let me kiss her after the Valentine’s Dance. Told me I got lucky.”
“I guess when you’re twelve...” Gavin chuckled, wishing things were that simple. Silence settled between them, awkward and telling. “Women.”
“She’s got you hogtied already, doesn’t she?”
“You have no idea. I don’t get affected like this. Not since I was in my teens.”
“You mean since the last time Ally was around?”
Yeah, that’s exactly what he meant, but he wasn’t going into it any further. “Help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen. I’ll see you before you leave.”
Later, stretched out on his bed, Gavin picked up his phone and sent a text to Ally.
See you in a couple of days.
The response was almost instant. Looking forward to it. Let me know when you’re on your way.
How are you holding up after today? His thumb hovered over the screen. He really hesitated before finally pressing send.
Not so instant this time. He waited. And waited. When she didn’t answer, he figured he’d pissed her off, or embarrassed her. Or both.
Then his phone buzzed in his hand.
Ally. She was calling.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” she said, her voice barely there. “It’s not too late, is it?”
“No. Are you alright?”
“How did you hear? I mean, I figured you would, but...”
In his mind, Gavin tried to picture what happened in the diner. Unfortunately, he kept seeing Ally’s blissful expression after their kiss the week before. “My brother is here. He filled me in.”
“Great.”
“Don’t let it get to you. There’ll be something new for everyone to latch onto in a couple of days.” It was true, but Gavin knew no one would ever forget it. The story would be around for ages.
“It was humiliating. It was bad enough it was so public, but that my mother thinks that I’m, I don’t know, hard up, is the worst.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t think that.”
“Yeah, she does. I know her heart is in the right place, but oh, my God. The place went into shock when she said ‘you need sex.’”
He laughed, even though he was trying hard not to. “Was the shock more, less, or equal to when I kissed you?”
He thought he heard a little sigh from her end, and that made him stupidly happy. Shit. He really hated when his brother was right.
“I don’t know. Probably about equal. With you it was show, with Mom it was tell.”
“Getting away won�
�t be a bad thing, I guess.”
“No. And then I’m going home, so...”
Right. Seattle was home. That was a huge difference between them. No matter where he was, Marietta was always home. That wasn’t Ally’s reality. “I’ll see you in a few days. Let me know when you arrive at the ranch Thursday, okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Okay,” she replied.
“Good.” He was at a loss for what to say. His male brain failing him. “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?” Damn. Why did he ask that?
“Nothing much. I was going to make some phone calls, hang out with my four-legged friends. Pack.”
“I’m working, but not until ten at night. You want to drive up and meet some new four-legged friends?”
“Um. What do you have in mind?” She wasn’t going to say yes. The drive was long, and she was going to see him in a couple of days, but he was in it now, so he had to explain.
“I have a friend from college who lives out here. He’s a large animal vet. He has a stable full of horses and I go out to his place once a week or so and ride the trails.”
“Oh, well—”
“I know it’s a long drive, but I thought it could be a good distraction. Something to do. We can get our story straight.”
She was quiet for a minute, and Gavin wondered what the hell he’d just stepped in.
“That sounds like fun,” she said. “What time should I be there?”
“Um, is the morning okay? I’ll take you for lunch after, and then I can get some sleep before heading to work.”
“Text me the address and I’ll plan to be there by ten?” She actually sounded like she was looking forward to it.
“Sounds good.” He had a lot of planning to do. “I’ll see you then.”
“Good night, Gavin.”
“Night, Ally.”
The call ended and Gavin had to face one truth. Seeing her again had changed him. He’d been content being on his own, but now, she was in his head all the damn time. Thoughts of her consumed him. His brother was right about one thing; he was fucking scared of everything Ally represented.
Maybe it was time for him to get over it.
Thankfully, the ranch Gavin told her about wasn’t hard to find. Ally didn’t travel to Bozeman too often, generally making trips with her parents if they had business in the city. When she pulled in the parking area after traveling down a long, dirt driveway, Gavin was already waiting for her.
She knew he had a medical degree. But leaning hip shot into his truck, he was all cowboy. From his scuffed up boots, to his Wrangler jeans, to the well-worn hat on his head, this was a country boy through and through.
Ally had really missed country boys.
As her truck pulled in next to his, he was right there to open the door—and, surprisingly, pull her into his arms.
“Hey there, beautiful.” He kissed her gently on the cheek. “How was your ride?”
“Fine, no traffic, the weather’s great. I couldn’t have asked for an easier trip.” Ally grabbed a pair of boots from the backseat. “Tell me about the horses.”
Gavin smiled. Why-oh-why did he have to do that? Then he took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers, he made her blush, made her ache. What was the man up to? This weekend could go in so many directions. All Ally hoped was that they would have a good time together. That they could leave the baggage behind, and even if they couldn’t be lovers, maybe, just maybe, they could be friends again.
But what if there was more? What if they slept together? What if they found a way to be together? What would she do then? There were so many questions running through Ally’s head, she often found herself going around in circles. She’d talked to Lisa about it, and her friend was of the opinion that Ally was thinking too much, and that she should just see what happened.
The problem was Ally was a planner. That was the reason she got into the business she did. She liked planning. She liked knowing how things were going to go. She liked order over chaos.
But no matter how hard she tried, it seemed whenever her heart got involved, chaos took over.
“This here is Pete.” Gavin stroked the nose of a good size bay horse. A rich brown with a black mane and tail, he had kind eyes, and what looked to be a good sturdy back. He was already tacked up, and waiting for her.
Patting the horse’s neck, Ally could feel the animal’s gentleness. He was a good boy. “Hey, Pete. You ready to take a ride?”
Offering his hands, Gavin gave Ally a leg up into the saddle. Once she’d settled herself, and adjusted her stirrups and reins, she leaned over and gave Pete, who hadn’t moved an inch, a pat and a hug.
Gavin trotted up beside her on a large, liver-colored chestnut, who answered to the name of Rio. “So, you want to give these two boys a workout?”
Ally wanted to give Gavin a workout. No doubt about that. Placing her straw Stetson square on her head, Ally grinned. “This is your neighborhood, show me around, Doc.”
“All right then. Let’s get on with this.”
Gavin had forgotten how deft Ally was on the back of a horse. For all the times she claimed she wasn’t athletic, he would then see her climb on the back of a difficult mount and proceed to race barrels or jump fences. It didn’t matter what it was; if Ally had a horse underneath her, she could do it all. Today was no different. They’d gone into the foothills of the mountains, with rocky trails and endless turns, and enjoyed watching her have such a good time. He was glad he’d asked her to come up.
They came to a clearing, a true grassy meadow with wild flowers blooming, and dismounted. He watched Ally stand completely still and look out at the acres and acres in front of her. She took a deep breath, like she was trying to remember, absorbing all the feelings that she only got when she was home. Gavin still had a hard time seeing Ally in the city. He had a hard time seeing her with a guy like Lars. He had a hard time thinking about her anywhere but here. With him.
Each of them held the horses’ reins and their free hands reached for each other.
He was unbelievably screwed, unless he could find a way to make her want to stay.
Fortunately, Gavin had thought ahead enough that he brought a blanket to spread out on the grass. Once he did, Ally twisted herself down into a sitting position and then lay back, gazing at the ever-changing sky. “Do you ever look up? I mean, look at all the formations. There are so many things we don’t know about yet. In some ways, the clouds we see are mysteries.”
“You think way too much this early in the morning.” But he looked up too. “I’m still on my first cup of coffee.”
“Seriously?” she asked. “How can you be in such a high-stress, sleep-deprived, profession and not be mainlining caffeine?”
“I dunno. Maybe I don’t want to die of a heart attack.”
“Pssht. Details, details.”
Leaning back, and propping himself up on his elbows, he took her all in. He wondered if she would bolt if he kissed her, if she knew how much he wanted to make love to her. “Any last-minute details to tell me about the wedding?”
“No, I don’t think so. The team at the resort has been great; they keep me posted with everything they’re doing. I almost feel redundant.”
“Don’t let your client hear that.”
Turning on her side and facing him, Ally reached out and stroked a lock of hair from his face. Gavin wondered what was going through her mind. Was it just an absent gesture, something friendly, or something more intimate? He couldn’t tell.
“Have you recovered from yesterday?”
Seeing how she cringed, almost gritting her teeth, Gavin hated that Ally was still suffering from the aftershocks. “I love my mother. But I didn’t love her so much yesterday.”
“I can imagine. If you don’t mind my saying so, she really missed the mark.”
“What do you mean? Missed the mark?”
“With you.” Gavin lowered himself so he was flat on his back, and pulled Ally toward him, tucking her safely into the crook of his arm. �
��I just think there are times, there always have been, that your mama didn’t really get you. She’s a sweet woman, but I think you’ve always baffled her some. For all your modern sensibilities, you are not a ‘friends with benefits’ girl.”
“How do you know that?”
Kissing her forehead softly, Gavin pulled her closer. “I’m not saying you don’t know your own mind, or that you can’t make decisions for yourself, but you wouldn’t make that decision.”
“You don’t think I do casual sex?”
“I know you don’t.”
Wiggling her way on top of him, Ally was nose-to-nose and so tempting. “There’s nobody out here. We can put your theory to the test, right here,” she teased.
“It wouldn’t be casual with us and you know it. That’s where she got it wrong.”
“So we couldn’t be friends, and have an occasional turn in bed?”
Shocked she was actually proposing the idea, Gavin tread carefully. He’d like nothing more than to lay her bare on this blanket and bury himself inside her, but could he do that and walk away? Like it meant nothing? “No. I don’t.”
The sun, high in the sky, backlit her and made her glow like an angel. “Do you want more? Even after what happened?”
Gavin remembered how mean girl Jenny had gotten pictures of Gavin passed out in his dorm room bed. How she’d staged it to look like she’d been in the bed with him, and how she’d sent those pictures to Ally and his friends.
Gavin could never understand why Jenny thought that would make him change his mind about being with her, but in her twisted little brain, Ally was competition, and as long as she was out of the picture, that was all that mattered.
“You were just eighteen. And knowing you were insecure, I should have done more to convince you that you were the only girl I was interested in. She messed with your head.”
Ally snuggled in. “I should have believed in you. I’m sorry I didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you?” It came out before he could stop himself.
“I don’t know. I wish I’d trusted you, talked to you about what happened. You’d never lied to me, or let me down. I should have had more faith. I was the one who let you down.”