by Mary Monroe
I gasped. “What the hell? What’s going on?” My first thought was that something bad had happened to Daddy and that he had sent for Lillimae. “What’s wrong with Daddy?” My heart was racing, my eyes were burning, and I was having a hard time breathing.
“There ain’t nothin’ wrong with that old billy goat,” Muh’-Dear answered, padding across the floor with her arm still around Lillimae’s shoulder. My second thought was that my mother had suddenly slipped into some rare state of delirium. The way she trashed Lillimae, I never expected to see her with her arm around her shoulder—unless she was about to choke her!
“Annette, don’t get all upset. Everything is under control,” Lillimae informed me. She eased away from Muh’Dear and immediately started fanning her face with one hand and brushing snow off her slick black leather coat with the other.
“I wanted to get Lillimae back home before too late. You know I don’t like to be out drivin’ after dark. I was gwine to send her home in a cab,” Muh’Dear told me, fanning her face with her hand too. It was only then that I noticed they both had sweat on their faces.
“What’s wrong?” I asked again, standing in front of my couch with my legs shaking. I had to sit to keep from falling.
“We just excited, that’s all. That’s why we both been sweatin’ like wrestlers for hours. See, we had a little problem at the restaurant this evenin’,” Muh’Dear said, still fanning as she plopped down on the couch next to me, unbuttoning her coat. She kicked off her round-toed oxfords and started rubbing her ankles together like a cricket. Her thick support hose, rolled down to below her knees, looked like donuts at the top. “Lillimae, don’t put too much ice in that rum and Coke you’re gwine to fix for me. And just a dab of rum. The last thing I need is to get pulled over by one of them brutal-izin’ cops.”
“What problem did you have at the restaurant this evening?” I asked, looking at Muh’Dear.
“The head cook at Muh’Dear’s restaurant had a nasty fall on a patch of ice this evenin’ and broke her hip,” Lillimae informed me, speaking over her shoulder as she moved toward the kitchen.
Muh’Dear? I had to shake my head and pinch my arm to make sure I was not dreaming. Lillimae had never referred to my mother as Muh’Dear! Every black child, even the ones who had a lot of white blood, knew that the title Muh’Dear was sacred. And the way my mother talked about Lillimae to her face and behind her back, I knew that there was no valid reason for her to encourage Lillimae to call her that! My mind was in a tizzy. I hadn’t even had enough time to process the things that I had experienced this evening. The run-in with Ronald and his wife, and Pee Wee’s request for me and Charlotte to spend the night with him were still heavy on my mind.
“And the assistant cook was out sick,” Muh’Dear added. “Mayor Walker and his party of twelve had a reservation for a private Christmas party tonight. The mayor’s secretary had made the reservation a month ago. They was celebratin’ somethin’. You know how white folks like to gallivant in and out of restaurants all the time, and you know how they like to spend money after a few drinks. I love doin’ business with rich crackers!”
I cut a sharp look in Lillimae’s direction. She rolled her eyes, stumbling across the floor with two drinks in her hand. She had removed her coat and left it in the kitchen.
“Miss Gussie Mae was at her wit’s end wonderin’ what she was goin’ to do with that hungry mayor and his party sittin’ up in the VIP room waitin’ to get fed,” Lillimae said, sitting down on the love seat across from me and Muh’Dear. She wasted no time kicking off her shoes too. She never wore stockings or pantyhose. Unfortunately, none of the stores in Richland carried sizes large enough to accommodate her stovepipe-wide legs. She had to wear leg warmers like I used to.
“Lillimae, didn’t I tell you to stop actin’ so formal with me. You call me Muh’Dear like I told you, hear?” Muh’Dear gave Lillimae the kind of affectionate look that she gave to me when she was in a good mood. I couldn’t believe my eyes or ears.
“Oh, yeah. Anyway, Muh’Dear had a major crisis on her hands and I had to help her out,” Lillimae said with a triumphant look on her face.
I didn’t know what to think now. There was nothing that I wanted to see more than my mother and my half sister getting along better. I certainly never thought that it would happen when I least expected it.
“I called the house for you,” my mother continued. My mother wasn’t looking or acting drunk. She appeared to be lucid. And that made this new development even more of a mystery. I was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. But until I knew all of the facts involved in this incredible turn of events, I decided to remain skeptical. Muh’Dear paused and snorted, and gave me a wide smile. “Anyway, I thought that between me and you, we could whup up a decent meal for the mayor and his folks. You wasn’t here, so I called my day cook, hopin’ I could get her to turn around and come back to do another shift. That lazy heifer had made plans for the night—or so she claimed. It’s a damn good thing Lillimae was home! Otherwise, my goose would have been cooked well done—just like the one the mayor had ordered for his meal!” My mother smiled at my sister for the first time since she’d arrived from Florida—at least in my presence. “Lillimae saved the day and my butt!” Muh’Dear was beaming like a lightbulb. “I didn’t know you was such a good cook, Lillimae. This girl sure enough put her foot in that corn she fried. When I tasted it, I wanted to put my face in it! This was the first time the mayor ever ate at my restaurant and took an order to go too!”
“I’m glad the night turned out all right,” I said, smiling. “I hope your cook recovers soon.” In spite of everything that I had just heard and witnessed, I chose to remain skeptical. Yes, Lillimae had saved the day and Muh’Dear’s butt. But would Muh’Dear feel the same way in the future that she was feeling now? Just the day before, she had delivered a few unflattering remarks to me about Lillimae’s weight again.
“I hope so too. But it won’t be no real big disaster if she don’t now! I told Lillimae that she can fill in for Donna Jean for as long as she wants to.” Muh’Dear finished her drink and rose. “Lillimae, we’ll talk salary tomorrow. If you don’t mind, please come around four before the day cook leaves so she can show you the ropes, and so I can serve you up a mighty big plate of my fried okra that you enjoyed so much tonight.” Muh’Dear gave me a pleading look. “When Charlotte goes back to school after the holiday vacation, have her take the bus to my house like she used to. Lillimae won’t be at the house to keep an eye on her no more durin’ the time she waitin’ on you to get home from work. Charlotte can sit with her granddaddy until you pick her up.”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. My new neighbor across the street offered to look after Charlotte when necessary. She’ll be in good hands,” I said.
Charlotte must have been eavesdropping, because just as Lillimae was about to walk Muh’Dear to her car, Charlotte came trotting back downstairs.
“Mama, please don’t make me go to that Harrietta woman’s house every day after school! I hate her! I’m old enough to stay by myself,” she hollered, waving her arms like somebody signaling for help. Her outburst and the category five look of anger on her face startled me. She had on her Cookie Monster nightgown and a cutoff stocking cap on her head, to hold her recently permed curls in place. She looked so young that I still worried about her being alone in the house.
“I don’t want you to be in this house alone, girl. Now you are going to have to stop this mess about Harrietta.” I gave Charlotte an exasperated look, but that didn’t seem to faze her. She still looked like she wanted to cuss out the world. “Oh well, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to tell you this, but I had a talk with her that evening she had dinner with us. She knows you don’t like her. And now that she knows that I know you don’t like her, I doubt if she’d ever do anything to upset you.”
“She already has,” Charlotte whimpered. “She—oh, never mind!”
“She what?” I demanded. “If yo
u can’t tell me exactly what you hate about this woman—other than her being too strict—shut up and behave yourself. Yes, Harrietta is strict and I can understand you not liking that—I didn’t like grown folks being strict with me when I was young either. But her being strict when you are in her house will keep you out of trouble,” I declared. “You’ll get used to her.”
Even though my daughter was twelve and very responsible, I didn’t like to leave her alone too often. Last year she had fallen in with a bad crowd, and I was determined to prevent that from happening again anytime soon. And there had been a few daytime break-ins on our street lately. I didn’t want to think of what might happen if a burglar broke into my house when my daughter was home alone.
“But Harrietta ... she’s ... she’s not normal,” Charlotte insisted, looking at me with a desperate look on her face. It seemed like the older she got, the more she overreacted to the littlest thing. I didn’t like that, and I was not going to let it influence my decisions.
“Not normal how?” Muh’Dear wanted to know. “She looks as normal as the rest of us to me.”
“She’s just real, uh, creepy, that’s all,” Charlotte said, hunching her shoulders and making a face.
“Charlotte, go back to bed,” I ordered, pointing toward the staircase. “Now!”
Charlotte rolled her eyes and started stomping across the floor like a mule. “You’re going to be real sorry one day, Mama,” she warned.
“These kids,” Lillimae sighed, shaking her head.
“Charlotte needs a little more structure in her life. I wish she was more like Harrietta’s girls,” I said in a low voice.
Muh’Dear gave me a strange look. “I ain’t never seen Charlotte this fractious. Maybe you ought to get to know more about that woman, just in case.”
Just in case. Those words rang in my ears. In spite of how I felt about Harrietta, it was at that moment that I realized I needed to be a little more concerned about Charlotte’s feelings and the impact that Harrietta had on her.
Charlotte’s prediction that I would be sorry one day sounded ominous and made me more than a little concerned. What if she was not being rebellious and troublesome just for the heck of it? After that thought, I decided right then and there that the best thing that I could do was keep Charlotte away from Harrietta unless I was around.
CHAPTER 42
AS SOON AS I WAS ALONE AGAIN, I PADDED INTO THE KITCHEN and called up Harrietta.
“It’s Annette,” I began with hesitation. “Um, I’ve given it a lot of thought and I think it’s in everybody’s best interest if I don’t leave my child with you anymore.”
“I see. Well, that’s fine with me, Annette. After that conversation we had, I was thinking that same thing myself,” Harrietta told me, sounding relieved. “I know some kids think of me as a beast, but I can live with that,” she chuckled. “No hard feelings on my part.”
“I don’t have any hard feelings either, and you and I can still be friends if you want,” I told her.
“I’m glad to hear that, Annette, because I really like you. The girls will be sorry to hear that Charlotte won’t be friends with them anymore.”
“Oh no! I didn’t say that she couldn’t be friends with your girls. As long as your girls don’t take a dislike to me, they are always welcome to come here, if you don’t mind. And you can still come here too. I am trying to be fair to my child and to you. If Charlotte changes her feelings toward you ... well, we will deal with that when and if it happens. Now, you have a blessed evening, and I hope you and I can get together again soon,” I said, meaning every word.
Right after I hung up, I went upstairs, got into my nightgown, and crawled into my bed. It had been a pleasant evening. Part of it had to do with my decision to sever the relationship between Harrietta and Charlotte, not to mention the fact that I would no longer be involved with Ronald. After what had happened tonight, there was no way I was ever going to see him again.
I knew that Rhoda would get a good laugh when I told her about Ronald getting busted, and if there was anybody who probably needed a good laugh right about now, it was Rhoda.
Her husband, Otis, answered the telephone when I called a few minutes after I’d come to my room. “Haylo, Annette. It’s always a treat to hear your voice,” he said, speaking so slowly his Jamaican accent didn’t sound nearly as thick as it usually did. There were times when I spoke to Otis that I almost needed an interpreter. There was sadness in his voice now.
“Otis, I heard about Jade working in that nasty-ass strip club,” I said. “I’m sure she’ll be all right.” I don’t know why I made that last statement. My voice was weak, so I didn’t sound too confident. In fact, I didn’t really believe that what I had just said was true myself, so Otis probably didn’t either. I didn’t think that anybody working in a strip club like The Cock Pit was going to be all right. But what else could I say to make Otis feel better and have a shred of hope?
“I pray for my child. She’s diggin’ a dark hole. In my country, we say, ‘If you gonna dig a hole, dig it deep.’ It means what you Americans mean when you say that ‘God don’t make no mistakes’ thing.”
“I think you mean ‘God don’t like ugly,’ ” I corrected. “But I like what you just said too.”
“Maybe so. But God don’t make no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. However, I give God thanks that my girl is finally on her own and no longer living off me and her mother’s earnings. Everybody should make his or her own way in life after a certain age. We will all learn from Jade’s behavior.” Otis paused. “And Pee Wee’s behavior. Buh’lieve me, milady, somebody will benefit in some way. I know you realize what a good man you had with Pee Wee now that he’s gone from de house. You never miss your water ’til your well runs dry, eh?”
“Yeah, that’s for sure,” I mumbled. I couldn’t get over the fact that everybody assumed I was missing Pee Wee. Sadly, it was true. He had been out of the house for almost a year now, and I missed him more than ever.
“Annette, let me say again that somebody will benefit from all de trials and tribulations we are dealing with now.”
“I hope so, Otis.”
“Pee Wee is a good man, you know. Sometimes we good men, and you good women, make mistakes. But like I said, God don’t make no mistakes.” Otis liked to talk. I knew that if I didn’t shut him up, he would yip yap into my ear all night.
“Otis, I have a few things that I have to get done tonight. But I just wanted to chat with Rhoda for a few minutes before I got busy,” I said quickly. “I’m glad I got the chance to chat with you, though, and I am happy to hear that you are doing all right with ... you know. The things going on in your family right now.”
The next voice I heard belonged to Rhoda.
“Annette, I’m so damn glad you called. I’ve been feelin’ like shit all day,” she told me. “This is the first year that we didn’t even put up a Christmas tree, or do any Christmas shoppin’. I am not in a holiday mood. I am so glad I have Lizel and Wyrita takin’ care of all my child-care responsibilities. I can’t even deal with that right now.”
This was worse than I thought. I was not in that much of a holiday mood either, but I had put up a tree, purchased a lot of gifts, and was looking forward to celebrating the last holiday in the year. Every year since I’d known Rhoda, she had celebrated each Christmas like it was her last. She bought the largest Christmas tree that she could fit into her living room, and she spent days on end decorating it with expensive ornaments. She bought elaborate gifts for everyone from her family members on down to her paperboy. And she had always gone way overboard with her child-care activities during this time of the year. Rhoda, Lizel, and Wyrita, and the young children exchanged gifts. They also decorated Rhoda’s den with wreaths and a second Christmas tree, sang Christmas carols, baked cookies, made snowmen, and did all kinds of other wonderful things associated with the holiday.
The week before Christmas last year, Rhoda had produced and directed a nativity p
lay in our neighborhood community theater. Of all people, Jade played the part of Mary, the blessed virgin mother of Christ! I didn’t know if that was an honor to Mary or an insult.
“I can imagine how you must be feeling. But I am really sorry to hear that you and Otis are not celebrating Christmas this year. Would you like to get together for lunch, or maybe a quiet dinner and some drinks tomorrow?”
“I’d like to, but I can’t. I don’t like to leave the house unless I really have to. In case ... in case Jade decides to come home. I want to be here when that happens.”
“I see. I understand.”
“I’ve left messages on her cell phone for her to call me so we can talk, and she hasn’t returned a single one. I don’t like what she did to me, but I don’t like what I did to her either. Even when she was a naughty little toddler, I only whupped her a few times. I’ve never been so violent with her before.”
“But she’s never hit you before either. And she’s never disrespected you the way she did that day last summer, Rhoda. She is still your child, and I know you still love her. I will support whatever you decide to do.”
Rhoda sniffed. Her prolonged silence for the next few moments frightened me. I was afraid of what she was thinking. “I’m glad to hear that. I’ve got an idea,” she chirped.
Uh-oh, I thought to myself. “And what is it?” I expected to hear her say something outlandish. And she did.
“I’m goin’ to go to that shithole strip club and force her to talk to me. Otis is afraid that he’ll tear the place down if he goes. I’d feel better if you went with me. Pee Wee said he would go, too, but I really don’t want to drag him into this. Thanks to Lizzie, Pee Wee’s got enough mess on his hands.”
I didn’t want to remind Rhoda that the Lizzie mess on Pee Wee’s hands was also the same mess on my hands. It was better for us to deal with one mess at a time. “I’ll go with you if you think it’ll help. But you know how Jade feels about me. I’m probably one of the last people on the planet that she wants to see.”