by Julia Baird
“dignify a hero”: McDonald, Nightingale on Society and Politics, 5:418.
not to submit to her pain: Lord Clarendon to Duchess of Manchester, December 17, 1861: “She seems to remember how much he disapproved and warned her against such extravagant grief as she manifested at her mother’s death. If she can support herself in this frame of mind, it is all one can hope for; but as yet it is, of course, early days for believing that her nervous system may not give way.” Maxwell, Life and Letters of Clarendon, 2:253.
“I could go mad from the desire”: Bolitho, Albert, Prince Consort, 229.
“showed embarrassing emotion”: From Lady Clarendon’s journal, February 3, 1862, ibid., 258. Lady Clarendon also claimed Victoria said “she knew she would go mad with worry,” and that “three times at Balmoral she had thought she was going mad.” Bolitho, The Reign of Queen Victoria, 187.
deaths of various relatives and dignitaries: See Rappaport, Magnificent Obsession, 37. Victoria had carefully mourned her aunt Louise in 1850, the King of Hanover in 1851, the Duke of Wellington in 1852, Czar Nicholas in 1855, her half brother Prince Charles of Leiningen in 1856, her cousin the Duchess of Nemours in 1857, her brother-in-law the Prince of Hohenlohe-Langenburg in April 1860, Albert’s stepmother, Marie of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, in September 1860, and Friedrich Wilhelm IV, the old king of Prussia, in January 1861.
had always appealed to her: She wrote to Vicky on July 6, 1859: “You must promise me that if I should die your child or children and those around you should mourn; this really must be, for I have such strong feelings on the subject.” Fulford, Dearest Child, 199–200. In 1863, she wrote to The Times concerning a rumor she might stop wearing her widow’s weeds: “This idea cannot be too explicitly contradicted.” Rappaport, Queen Victoria, 407.
“habits entertained by both of us”: April 11, 1862, McClintock, The Queen Thanks Sir Howard, 50.
“noise, excitement, etc”: Ibid., 49.
frivolous, gossipy, and shallow: Victoria told General Bruce that Bertie should face “in a proper spirit, the cureless melancholy of his poor home.” Rappaport, Magnificent Obsession, 154; Sir George Aston, The Duke of Connaught and Strathearn, 47–48.
“Day is turned into night”: Bloomfield, Court and Diplomatic Life, 2:150.
“crown of righteousness”: QVJ, January 19, 1863.
“more disposed to do good”: Bolitho, The Prince Consort, 161.
“All alone!”: Longford, Victoria R.I., 308.
she would “succumb”: Bolitho, The Prince Consort, 219–20.
“which she had to sign, etc.”: Maxwell, Life and Letters of Clarendon, 261.
through sheer madness: Villiers, A Vanished Victorian, 317.
the impact this would have: Ibid., 318.
went through to August: Maxwell, Life and Letters of Clarendon, 261–62.
“less a national loss”: Rappaport, Magnificent Obsession, 76.
“We have buried our sovereign”: Wiebe et al., Letters of Benjamin Disraeli, 165.
she might abdicate: Lord Howden to Lord Clarendon, June 4, 1864: “The French papers talk of the abdication of Queen Victoria. I am beginning to think there may be something in it. I have always thought that, with the turn her mind took from the beginning of her widowhood, she would have done well, for her own interest, happiness and reputation, to have abdicated on the day her son came of age. She would then have left a great name and a great regret.” Maxwell, Life and Letters of Clarendon, 2:292–93.
blamed for his father’s death: Florence Nightingale, December 22, 1861: “One of the causes which brought in Albert’s illness, and about which he talked when delirious, was the shortcoming of the Prince of Wales.” McDonald, Nightingale on Society and Politics, 5:419.
complained about his “ugly” legs: Note that Vicky was similarly frank about her own children, once writing about her son Henry, upon his getting a uniform on his tenth birthday: “His poor ugly face will look worse than ever, and he has grown if possible much plainer still since last year.” Vicky to Queen Victoria, August 7, 1872, Fulford, Darling Child, 57.
She prayed that she would outlive him: See ibid., 231.
“unconquerable aversion” to her son: Villiers, A Vanished Victorian, 313.
state of “enforced idleness”: The Hon. Emily Eden wrote to the Earl of Clarendon in 1863: “I see what Princess Louise means about the ‘enforced idleness’ of the Prince of Wales, which may lead to evil. The Prince Consort would have devised some work for him—made him Regent of Scotland or a clerk in the Audit Office or bailiff of the home farm—something distinguished that would have kept him out of harm.” Maxwell, Life and Letters of Clarendon, 2:284.
“indeed of all her counsels”: Rappaport, Magnificent Obsession, 131.
“trembling and alone”: Letter to King Leopold, June 16, 1863, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:91.
distressed her children: QVJ, November 1, 1862.
“able to talk more myself”: QVJ, April 28, 1863.
would have wished her to promote: Leopold had encouraged this view, writing to her to tell her it was “justifiable” to think “the departed continue to take an interest in what is doing in the plans they left, and that to see what they had wisely planned destroyed or neglected becomes a source of trouble and pain to them.” King Leopold to Queen Victoria, January 16, 1862, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:11.
“vain show of a drawing room”: McDonald, Nightingale on Society and Politics, 5:419–20.
could live in one of her homes: Queen Victoria to King Leopold, Balmoral, May 18, 1863, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:85.
were both “much moved”: QVJ, September 8, 1862.
what she lacked was peers: Lady Lyttelton said, a few days after Albert had died, that Victoria “has no friend to turn to.” Wyndham, Correspondence of Sarah Spencer, 422.
“terrible height”: QVJ, August 7, 1883.
Victoria wanted to sob: “It breaks my heart to think of the poor Children without a Father, whom they so badly need,—the difficulties of their education & position, & I so utterly helpless.” QVJ, May 11, 1862.
“what I suffered in the Chapel”: QVJ, March 10, 1863.
taboo subject at family dinners: Ridley, Bertie, 95–97.
“hardly possible to live without it”: To Lady Mallet, December 30, 1861, Rappaport, Magnificent Obsession, 120; S. Jackman and H. Haasse, A Stranger in the Hague, 227.
“without her previous sanction being obtained”: To Viscount Palmerston, August 11, 1863, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:102.
“my duty shall be done fearlessly”: Fulford, Dearest Mama, 205–6.
undermined their authority and influence: Hansard, House of Lords Debates, May 26, 1864, vol. 175, ccc 616–17. He described it as a “difficulty of the greatest magnitude which has materially affected the influence of this country with Foreign Powers.”
“it is too dreadful”: QVJ, May 27, 1864.
“many a false step”: QVJ, March 6, 1864; QVJ, June 1, 1864.
ceded to Prussia and Austria: Victoria wrote to the King of Prussia on May 28, 1864, urging him to moderate his demands and agree to concessions Denmark would favor. Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:203.
appeared again just a few days later: This is reported in Trewman’s Exeter Flying Post or Plymouth and Cornish Advertiser, March 30, 1864. Some believe this story to be apocryphal, but if so, it remains, as Tisdall suggests, a sign of “how the wind was blowing in London.” Tisdall, Queen Victoria’s John Brown, 87.
“I thought you were all killed!”: QVJ, October 7, 1863.
thumb that would remain crooked: QVJ, November 6, 1864.
subliminal will to live: QVJ, October 10, 1863.
long hours of prayer: See her letter to King Leopold, February 25, 1864, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 168.
Victori
a grew calmer: On October 23, 1863, for example, she wrote in her journal, “The beauty of the day & scenery were indescribable, & though I can no longer find any real joy in anything, such splendid works of God’s own hand, such peace & stillness, do me good.”
“so hard for me at first”: QVJ, December 14, 1864.
Chapter Twenty-Two: Resuscitating the Widow of Windsor
“suits best our sad sisterhood”: Queen Victoria to Lady Waterpark, September 21, 1864, British Library Manuscripts, Add. 60750, Extract 60750, Lady Waterpark, vol. 1.
“An English lady in mourning”: Shaw, Collected Letters, 1898–1910, 817.
fallen into the single shaft: Shortly after this disaster, Parliament passed a law to ensure no mine could again have just a single shaft; there would need to be two ways in and two ways out.
“her heart bled for them”: January 23, 1862, Lady Cavendish’s Diary, ladylucycavendish.blogspot.com/2006/11/23jan1862-200-hartley-colliers-found.html.
lost their husbands in the Hartley disaster: QVJ, December 18, 1862.
idea of being united with him someday: Walter Walsh, The Religious Life of Queen Victoria, 116.
“any other in high position”: e.g., QVJ, April 29, 1865.
“except in the sense of duty”: This was done after first checking that her health was good, she was able to walk and ride, and that she was prepared to represent the queen at social functions. Queen Victoria to Fanny Howard, September 14, 1863, British Library Manuscripts, Add. 60750, Extract 60750, Lady Waterpark, vol. 1.
“inexpressibly sad and dreadful”: Rappaport, Magnificent Obsession, 151.
“utterly broken-hearted” queen: Queen Victoria to Mrs. Lincoln, April 29, 1865, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:266.
but only one in seven men: Jalland, Death in the Victorian Family, 230. According to one estimate, about 19 percent of marriages in the 1860s would have ended by one spouse’s death, and about 47 percent within twenty-five years.
“a form of social exile”: Ibid., 231.
“whether she likes it or not”: Quoted in Houston, Royalties, 148. Also Jay, “Mrs. Brown,” 194.
three doctors: Sir James Clark, Dr. Jenner, and Dr. Watson.
“becomes weaker and weaker”: Queen Victoria to Earl Russell, December 8, 1864, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:244–45. She confided to Leopold that her nerves were getting worse in August 1865, and only complete quiet made her better. (Queen Victoria to King Leopold, August 31, 1865, ibid., 1:274.) Some said the queen showed signs of anxiety before Albert died. Lady Lucy Cavendish wrote on February 5, 1864: “One can’t blame the Queen for shrinking from doing it this one year more: even with the Prince by her side, her nervousness used to be nearly overpowering.” ladylucycavendish.blogspot.com/2009/01/05feb1864-parliament-opens-without.html.
“some complete breakdown”: Queen Victoria to Earl Russell, May 25, 1866, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:329.
likely to die soon: Letter to King Leopold, June 16, 1863, ibid., 91.
severe form of agitation: Even at smaller occasions, like the christening of Alix and Bertie’s first baby, Albert Victor, Victoria wrote: “Feeling every eye fixed on me was dreadful.” QVJ, March 10, 1864.
“in whom I have confidence”: QVJ, October 26, 1864.
“so cheerful and attentive”: Letter to King Leopold, February 24, 1865, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:255.
a “very severe trial” for her: Sir Charles Phipps to Earl Russell, Osborne, December 20, 1865, ibid., 1:289. Victoria needed to go in part to secure financial support for her children—Helena was marrying a poor prince, Christian of Schleswig-Holstein, and Alfred was almost eighteen.
“violent nervous shock” of the effort: Queen Victoria to Earl Russell, February 7, 1866, ibid., 1:299.
it was “not usual” practice: QVJ, March 11, 1866.
Second Reform Bill: The 1867 Reform Act added 938,000 voters to an electorate of 1,057,000 in England and Wales. Woodward, The Age of Reform, 187.
“for those beneath them”: QVJ, July 24, 1867.
just as Palmerston had been: Queen Victoria to Lord Stanley, December 11, 1867, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:472. See also letter dated December 16, 1867, ibid., 1:476.
asked the British government to pay if she did: For example, in 1869, when asked to host the Viceroy of Egypt, Victoria argued she had too much work, no husband, was ill, and could not be expected to entertain as often as she had done previously. Letter to Gladstone, May 31, 1869, ibid., 1:601.
“The word distasteful is hardly applicable”: Queen Victoria to the Earl of Derby, July 4, 1867, ibid., 1:443.
“He can only offer devotion”: Disraeli to Queen Victoria, February 26, 1868, ibid., 1:505.
“top of the greasy pole”: Monypenny and Buckle, Life of Benjamin Disraeli, 4:600.
“a very radiant face”: Bradford, Disraeli, 278.
she had never had such letters before: Maxwell, Life and Letters of Clarendon, 2:346.
lasted only ten months: In these months, he passed important anti-corruption laws and outlawed public executions.
he could not understand how: Mrs. Gladstone told her husband in 1867: “Do pet the Queen, and for once believe you can, you dear old thing.” Magnus, Gladstone: A Biography, 160.
“I might even say tenderness towards her”: Longford, Victoria R.I., 362.
“to pacify Ireland”: Morley, The Life of Gladstone, 2:252.
“emphatic verdict of the nation”: Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:572.
“dangerous if not disastrous”: Ibid., 1:603.
Bertie’s “immoral example”: Williams, The Contentious Crown, 39.
“Prince of Wales is not respected”: Shannon, Gladstone: Heroic Minister, 92.
Victoria felt trapped: QVJ, December 20, 1867.
he could not breathe: QVJ, June 26, 1868.
“affecting all classes of the people”: The Sydney Morning Herald, March 13, 1868, 5. (Victoria did not find out until April 25.)
“The great questions of the time”: Steinberg, Bismarck: A Life, 181
became known as the Seven Weeks’ War: This was also known as Italy’s Third Independence War. Victoria unsuccessfully pleaded with the king of Prussia to avoid it.
unified in a North German Confederation: Bismarck didn’t want France or Russia to intervene, so pushed King Wilhelm I of Prussia to make peace with Austria quickly. The Peace of Prague on August 23, 1866, led to the North German Confederation.
“a most useful ally to England”: Queen Victoria to Lord Stanley, August 7, 1866, Buckle, The Letters of Queen Victoria Between 1862 and 1878, 1:364.
thought his aggressive conduct “monstrous”: QVJ, April 4, 1866.
rumors endure about Lorne’s sexuality: Sandwell, “Dreaming of the Princess,” 47.
quietly sent out for adoption: Hawksley, The Mystery of Princess Louise.
“chief object in life”: QVJ, February 4, 1868.
kissed him good night religiously: QVJ, February 10, 1868.
“in constant anxiety about him”: QVJ, June 7, 1860.
the loss of her surrogate father: QVJ, December 10, 1865.
it is only in recent years (since the mid-1980s): Maercker and Lalor, “Diagnostic and Clinical Considerations.”
deep, consuming mourning: Consider the criteria for PCBD: persistent yearning, intense sorrow and emotional pain, and preoccupation with the deceased and circumstances of the death. These further symptoms must be experienced for more than a year: disbelief or emotional numbness over the loss, difficulty with positive reminiscing about the deceased, bitterness, anger, maladaptive appraisals about oneself in relation to the deceased or the death (e.g., self-blame), and excessive avoidance of reminders of the loss. Other symptoms include a desire to die in order to be with the deceased, difficulty trusting other i
ndividuals since the death, feeling alone or detached from other individuals since the death, feeling that life is meaningless or empty without the deceased, the belief that one cannot function without the deceased, confusion about one’s role in life, a diminished sense of one’s identity (e.g., feeling that a part of oneself died with the deceased), and a difficulty or reluctance in pursuing interests since the loss or in planning for the future. Physical complaints include pain and fatigue. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th ed., Appendix, Conditions for Further Study, Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder, 7–8.
death was sudden and unexpected: Jalland, Death in the Victorian Family, 321.
Victoria was ripe to grieve: Shear et al., “Complicated Grief,” 105. See also Prigerson et al., “Prolonged Grief Disorder,” e1000121.
what people thought appropriate: As Patricia Jalland found, “Chronic and obsessive grief was very rare amongst these nineteenth-century families, probably more so than today….The image of Queen Victoria as the eternal widow of Windsor has been so pervasive that she has sometimes been seen as representative, rather than the reverse.” Jalland, Death in the Victorian Family, 318.
she would be happy again: Almost two years after Albert had died, Victoria told Major Elphinstone she was soothed by sympathy and found it in “some” of her children: “Major Elphinstone hopes for less depression of spirits but she feels this can never never be; on the contrary as time goes on and others feel less, her deep settled melancholy—her ever increasing helplessness and loneliness are more keenly and acutely felt. The struggle gets daily worse, the want hourly more felt, her shaken health and shattered nerves less able to bear the trials and work and sorrow and above all the desolation.” McClintock, The Queen Thanks Sir Howard, 51.