99 to Nowhere

by DOMINO

  "Sounds good, but only if you can cook" He replied and looked in the small oven.

  "I can cook, smart ass" I mumbled while he grinned to himself.

  "Cool if the heat stops working we can use this" He closed the oven door and looked in the bathroom. "Soap, shampoo and all, not bad for this part of town, a lot better than some I've stayed in" He twisted his lips out and looked around. "Now for the ultimate test" He walked over to the bed and sat on the edge.

  My heart stopped when I watched him bouncing on the edge of the bed.

  Oh, no, here we go. He wants to see if the bed will squeak when he tries to screw me.

  I cleared my throat; I was prepared to let him know sex between us would never happen, but stopped when he turned on the TV.

  "If this motel has ESPN and SPIKE, then they pass my ultimate test" He said as he began flipping through the channels.

  I furrowed my brows and smiled when he threw his arms up in the air with triumph. "I take it they have it?"

  "And then some, no wonder we got the last room" He began taking off his boots.

  "I'm gonna take a shower" I picked up my backpack.

  I walked by and realized he didn't even move when I walked by, his attention was focused on the TV screen. I could hear the sports commentator yelling at a football game before I closed the door.

  "Men, humph" I muttered and turned on the shower.

  FIFTEEN

  I walked out of the shower to see him lying on the bed, still watching a football game.

  "Showers free"

  "Oh, alright" He began to scoot off the bed, but not take his eyes off the screen.

  I let my hair down from the towel and pulled a pair of thin thermal pants and shirt to match. I stared at it and felt embarrassed with all of the little teddy bears on them, but they kept me warm at night and hoped he didn't make fun of me.

  "Rio!" I shouted to get his attention and held the towel tightly around me. "Go, so I can get dressed" I pointed toward the shower and stopped once he realized I only had a towel around me.

  "Okay" He turned his eyes quickly back to the TV when the commentator's voice began to shout again.

  He pulled his shirt off and I diverted my eyes to the floor. His chiseled abs and muscular chest were going to be hard to ignore. I noticed a long scar across his chest, close to his heart, and realized it matched the small scar that interrupted his left eyebrow.

  "Be right back, don't change the channel" He requested. He snatched up his backpack and hustled into the bathroom.

  "Yeah right" I mumbled.

  I immediately switched the channel, searching for Jersey Shore. I got dressed and pulled back the comforter and sheets, examining the mattress for bed bugs. Once I was content, I crawled in to see what Snookie was up to. I sat up against the pillows when I heard the bathroom door open. He ran out with his hair still wet and a towel wrapped around his neck.

  "What the hell? Why did you change the channel?" He looked at me. "Please don't tell me you like that crap?"

  "I love that crap" I grinned. "I'm not gonna sit in here and watch football all night Rio" I gripped the remote while he dried his shoulder length locks with the towel.

  "Oh really?" He raised his eyebrows and adjusted his basketball shorts on his waist. "I think that it’s you who are my slave for the next twenty two hours my dear—" He motioned with his hands for the TV remote. “So hand it over"

  I frowned and threw the remote to the end of the bed when he sat down. "You're not made of glass either" I snapped.

  He moved beside me, leaning against the headboard next to me. "

  I had no idea you were a football fiend"

  "Well, we really just met, wouldn't you say? So how would you know" He replied without looking at me.

  "Smartass" I muttered.

  "Uhhh yup" He grinned.

  I rolled over and pulled the covers tight around my neck. "And hang your towels; I hate wet towels in the bathroom"

  I heard him laughing before he poked my arm. "Well I hate teddy bears—" He began pulling the covers down. “Oh my goodness, what do we have here? Teddy bears on your butt too?" He began to laugh loudly.

  I snatched the covers back. "They keep me warm, it's strictly for use, not enjoyment" I replied haughtily. He continued laughing and I continued to get angry. "What, I should be walking around in a skimpy nightgown? That doesn't really work sleeping in alleyways and on the streets" I added after his laughter died down.

  "Alright, you're right" He stopped laughing. "But teddy bears, Maxx?"

  "Shut up, we should discuss what we're gonna do in nowhere" I sat back up, slightly happy that I now had his attention.

  "You tell me" He turned the volume down on the TV.

  "I don't know—" I shrugged and ran my fingers through my hair. It was still damp so I began to braid it down my back. "What should we do?"

  "Normally, when I girl says that, I have a million answers" He said as he watched my hands slowly braid my hair. "But in your case" He looked me in the eyes. "Let's just walk through town, see what's going on, and then you can decide if this is a place you wanna be"

  His penetrating green eyes began to make me nervous, and the longer I stared at his lips, the more I wanted to feel them against mine; I couldn't fight the feeling.

  "Yeah that sounds good" I threw my braid behind my back nonchalantly.

  "Did you have something in mind?" He asked.

  "What happened there?" I asked, disregarding his question. I pointed to his chest, wanting to change the subject, and stop my mind from going somewhere I didn't want it to.

  He looked down at his bare chest and licked his lips. "Nothing, it was just a bad disagreement"

  "That's a pretty deep scar. Did someone try to kill you?" I persisted.

  "Kinda—" He sighed and rested his head down on the pillow.

  "Who?"

  "You know who" He looked up at me. "A so called foster dad when I was fourteen"

  "Why, you screw his wife too?" I tried to joke since I could tell it kind of bothered him.

  "No—" He turned up the volume on the TV.

  I could tell the conversation made him uncomfortable and I loved when anyone was uncomfortable besides me. I reached over and took the remote from his hand, turning the volume back down.

  "What happened to you, Rio Barden?"

  He threw his head back against the pillow again and sighed. "I said it was a foster parent" He sounded irritated. "I don't wanna talk about it; it was a long time ago"

  "Who am I gonna tell?" I persisted. "I'll tell you something about me if you do" I lied, knowing that would get him to tell me.

  He sat up and looked at me. "Seriously Maxx? You have a habit of telling me it's none of my business"

  "I promise" I sat up and crossed my heart. I noticed his eyes scanned over my breasts after I crossed my heart, and for some reason, I didn't mind.

  He lay back down and stared at the silent TV. "Foster dad, he wasn't interested in his wife, but little boys" He frowned. "That enough?"

  "No, that's not telling me how it happened" I shook my head.

  He sighed and ran his hand over the scar. "I come home one day, after football practice, and took a shower. I come out, go into my room, and he's there on the bed, naked. I asked him what he was doing and he pulled out a butcher knife and told me to, he wanted me do some things I didn't agree with—" He paused, but his hand continued to run slowly up and down the scar. "We argued and began to fight, I punched him in the face, and he swung at me, getting me right here. I kicked him in the nuts, threw on my pants, and ran up the street, bleeding, before a neighbor helped me and took me to the hospital. When I told them what happened, he lied, and he got off. They put me in another home, and with my record; the homes I was placed in were not anything I would ever put a child in"

  I remained silent after he finished and stared at his scar, remembering how one of the foster kids in a home I lived in would get molested by our foster dad. He didn't tell anyone, bu
t I caught him one day, and when I told our counselor, she removed the younger boy, but left me there. He beat me senseless. It wasn't until I woke up in a pool of my own blood, that I ran away. I stayed hidden for two days before they found me again, placing me in another home that was no better than the one I left.

  "I don't understand" I whispered. "How people can be so cruel—" I shook my head.

  "He looked up at me, tell me about you—" His eyes were curious.

  I turned up the volume on the TV. "I'm sleepy"

  "Bullfuckinshit" He said and snatched the remote back. "Now, I've never told anyone about that, not a soul" He looked serious. "Don't mess with me right now Maxx"

  I felt guilty. "What do you wanna know?"

  He gave me a mischievous grin. "Are you a virgin?"

  I snatched the remote, slapped him across his head, and threw the remote against the wall. "Go to hell" I snapped, remembering my first time wasn't something I agreed to.

  "Wow" He grimaced and rubbed his head. "No seriously, how old were you when you first did it?"

  "Are you serious?" I asked, raising my voice before my lips began to tremble.

  He sat up and looked at me before his smile faded. "I was joking—"

  "That's not something to joke about" I found tears welling up in my eyes. "Let's just go to sleep—"

  "Hey, you alright?" He stopped me from turning over. "What did they do to you Maxx?" He whispered.

  "Don't touch me Rio" I choked on my tears. "Just, don't touch me"

  He put his hands in the air and moved away from me. "Maxx I'm not here to hurt you and I'm not here to take advantage of you. I'm, I'm just, here, with you. I'm just here" He shrugged. "I don't know why, and I don't know how to explain it, I don't have a hidden agenda—"

  I felt him move my hair away from my face.

  "What happened to you?" His voice softened with concern and I knew he was sorry for making jokes.

  The more he spoke, the harder it was to hold it in, all of the anger and turmoil that filled my mind and body rumbled deep within my heart, and stomach, ready to explode. I didn't trust anyone but myself until now and it hurt to try to fight the urge to finally let someone else in, but something in his eyes always made me feel safe.

  "He raped me—" I managed to say before my voice cracked. "He, he took me in the shed and he—"

  I covered my face with embarrassment before his hands pulled me to his chest and I didn't stop him. I couldn't stop crying as his hands rubbed by back gently.

  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry—" I cried with shame and embarrassment. My tears rolled down his chest. "I didn't know what else to do. I screamed and screamed and screamed—" I began to sob uncontrollably. "I screamed and screamed and nobody helped me, nobody came to help me, nobody helped me. I screamed and screamed—"

  "Shhh, it's alright, it's alright" He whispered into my hair. "It won't happen again. I won't let it happen again" He continued to rub my back and pulled me closer. "I promise it won't ever happen again Maxx, I promise—"

  SIXTEEN

  I remembered falling asleep on his chest, but when I woke up he was gone.

  "Rio?" I yelled softly. I turned my head and listened to hear if he was in the bathroom. "Rio?" I yelled louder and crawled out of the bed.

  I looked in the bathroom to see he wasn't there. I ran to my backpack and pulled out my other pair of jeans.

  He left me again, I scared him off.

  I pulled off my thermal pants, threw my legs into a pair of jeans, and then stopped when I heard him banging on the door.

  "Maxx open up, it's freezing out here!" I heard him yelling. I looked out of the window to make sure it was him.

  "Where did you go?" I smiled when the smell of bacon filled the air from the bags he held in his hand. "Why didn't you wake me?" I asked as he walked in and kicked off his boots.

  "You were sleep. I knew you were tired, so I didn't wake you" He replied and took his hat off. "You hungry?"

  "Always" I answered.

  I was relieved he didn't leave me and hated myself for thinking he would do it again. I went to the sink and washed my hands while he took our food out of the plastic bags.

  "How was it, did you hear of anything going on in this place?" I asked when he walked by me to wash his hands.

  "Not really, there's a strip mall not far from here. The guy in the diner told me to walk up a few blocks to Hillshire and make a right. He said there's a few department stores and what not, but other than that, not too much happening here" He pulled up a chair for me to sit down at the small table in front of the window.

  "I was thinking" I said as I opened my carton of food and sat down. The steam from the eggs, bacon, and pancakes, moistened my already wet lips when I held my hand out to his. "Grace" I smiled before he held my hand and closed his eyes. "Done" I said quickly and shoved a forkful of eggs in my mouth. "Maybe we should just ditch this place and go to Chicago"

  He shoved a piece of bacon in his mouth and looked at me curiously. "Seriously?" He scoffed. "Why? Why Chicago?"

  "You're from there, right?"

  "Oh, I see" He wiped syrup from his lips. "You think I'm gonna find my family or something? If that's what you're thinking, forget it. I don't wanna look for them or find them. I don't give a shit—" He frowned and opened a bottle of orange juice.

  "I didn't say you had to look for them, maybe we'll just come across them or something"

  "Don't wanna do that either" He mumbled once he put his bottle down. "How about going west or south, where it's warm?"

  "I don't wanna go west—" I shook my head. "How about further south? Like Florida?"

  He poked out his full lips in thought. "No more cold sounds good, but they have hurricanes"

  "Then we can go to a shelter when one hits—" I replied, making myself more excited. "We can make it a road trip. We can pillage and plunder and all that crap"

  He chuckled and nodded in agreement. He opened the curtains beside us so we could look out at the falling snow.

  "Get away from all this, huh?"

  "Yeah and if we're sleeping on the street, at least we'll be warm" I tried to convince him. "Let's take what we will from here and be on our way—"

  "Do you have a plan Maxx?" He asked and sat back in his chair.

  "What do you mean, a plan? I just told you the plan" I replied and opened my bottle of orange juice.

  "No, I mean, what do you wanna do with the rest of your life. You, I mean we, can't do this forever. We need an education, jobs, and a real home of our own—"

  I looked at him and studied his steady glare, he was serious. "How can I get a job or good job, might I add, with no diploma? I dropped out of school—" I pointed at his chest. "And you obviously did too, so what do I have to plan for now?"

  "Many things—" He smiled. “Don’t you want a home and family, kids?"

  "Why, why even think about what's not possible? I have to live for today, one day at a time" I crossed my arms while he shook his head sadly at my answer. "So you're telling me you want a wife and kids, a home?"

  "Yeah, I do, and I'm gonna have it one day" He rubbed the stubble on his chin. "I got a plan, kinda"

  "What is it then?" I scoffed, waiting to hear it.

  "I'm gonna get my GED, then I'll get a good job and save some money. Then when I find a nice lady" He narrowed his eyes at me. "I'll propose, take care of her and my children, like children should be—"

  "And how the hell are you gonna get a GED?" I interrupted, ignoring his snide remark about me being a lady.

  "I registered at Millington. I spoke to the town counselor that showed me how to go about it. That's how I ended up with an ID there when I saw you in the library. It gave me access to the library. I’m ready to test and was just waiting for the test day to arrive, which is why I never left Millington. I didn't plan on leaving until I tested for my GED"

  I stared at him surprised. "Then, then why did you leave?" I stammered.

  "I didn't want you on the streets
alone Maxx. I know how it is out here, especially for girls—" He answered.

  "Then we have to go back—" I closed the carton of food, no longer hungry to finish. "That's it; we have to go back—"

  "It's too late, we're here" He replied. "I'll just do it again at another time—" He managed a smile.

  "No, I can't have that on my conscious. All you have to do is test for it now" I tapped my finger on the table. "That's like dropping out of high school with two days left for graduation"