by Stacy Borel
“Oh yeah?” Kyler didn’t look impressed. In fact he was now looking at Harper with disdain. “Harper seems to be good at a lot of things.”
I glanced at Harper and she looked like she was about to choke the life out of Kyler. What in the hell did he mean by that? Apparently I’d missed something. I thought about dragging her to the ladies room and beating it out of her but, she was still staring at Kyler.
“You bet your ass I’m good at a lot of things. One of those things being selling houses.” I’ve known Harper long enough to know that she was well and truly pissed. She turned her glare away from Kyler and plastered a smile on her face for Michael. “Are you settling in okay? I could stop by and suggest some paint colors or help remove some of that nasty seventies wallpaper.”
The smile that was on Ky’s face was wiped off and now he was fuming mad. Clearly deciding to ignore it he said, “Well congrats on the house man. And congrats on the booming business. I’d heard you were doing well.” Turning the attention away from Michael he spoke to Corey. “What about you man, how’re you doing?”
Corey was a quiet guy and had been that way in school. He was one of the few that married his high school sweetheart. They married shortly after high school and they both went to college close to home at Boise State. She went into dentistry and he graduated with a business degree. Callie currently had a dental office on the outskirts of town and Corey ended up going into business with Michael. He didn’t run their company but they worked well with him being second in command.
“I’m great! Business is going good with Michael, and Callie is at full capacity for patients. And we just found out we’re expecting our first child.” He was beaming.
“Holy shit dude, congratulations!” Kyler got up from his chair and shook Corey’s hand, bringing him in for one of those ‘guy hugs’. “I can’t wait to see the little crib midget!”
I noticed Finn was pretty quiet during this whole exchange. In fact neither he nor I had spoken since Michael and Corey had approached the table. I was relieved that I didn’t have to answer his question earlier, but when Corey announced his baby news I couldn’t help but notice that Finn had glanced over at me. I risked glance in his direction and we made eye contact. Why was he looking at me like that? I felt uncomfortable and yet I couldn’t look away from him. His tongue came out and licked his bottom lip. When he closed his mouth my eyes went back up to his. His pupils were dilated and he tracked me watching him. He opened his mouth like he was about to say something but I abruptly stood up from the table. My legs hit the table top causing some of the silverware to clang together and my napkin to fall to the floor. Everyone stopped talking and looked at me.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make so much noise. I’m just headed to the ladies room.” I could feel the heat creeping onto my face.
“You want me to come with Em?” Harper asked.
“Nah, I’m good stay and talk. I’ll be right back.” I wanted to ask her what was going on with Kyler but I needed to get my own shit sorted out. Harper watched me but nodded her head before I turned and walked away from the table.
I made a beeline for the ladies room I’d seen outside the banquet door. I was relieved to see that the triplet bitches were no longer manning it; they must’ve gone inside to torture someone else. I walked into the bathroom and found a stall. Thankfully I was the only one there so at least I had some peace to freak out. Locking the stall door, I leaned my back against it and let out the breath I’d been holding. I had no idea what that was out there but it about did me in. Why did Finn have to look at me like that? His eyes seemed so intense. When he licked his lips I thought I was going to melt into a puddle. He was not supposed to be bringing out these feelings in me. I collected my thoughts. I just needed to get through this night and then I would go back home to Weston on Monday.
Fuck! Weston!
I hadn’t even thought about him this afternoon while staring into Finn’s eyes, and that wasn’t acceptable. I couldn’t do that staring swoony thing with him. I needed to push whatever this was out of my head, and get through the next couple of hours like an adult. An adult that had been married for eight years and felt nothing for her high school boyfriend.
With a new sense of resolve I stepped out of the stall, washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom. Just as I turned out of the door I ran right into a hard chest. I looked up and saw Finn standing in front of me.
“Are you okay?”
And there went my new resolve.
“I’m fine, why do you ask?” I was wringing my hands together. “I just had to pee. Can’t I pee without people checking on me?” For fuck sake I’m not even drunk tonight and I can’t shut my mouth.
He smirked… the bastard was smirking at me?! “Of course you can pee without being checked on but I thought you looked a little pale. You got up and left so abruptly I thought I’d make sure you didn’t need anything.”
“Nope”, I said, popping the ‘p’ in the word. “I’m all good. Shall we go back inside?” I started to walk away but Finn grabbed my hand to stop me. Oh god, what his touch did to me. I felt something in that slight touch that I hadn’t felt in ten years and it was a shock to that dormant part of my heart. It was a feeling that West had never been able to invoke. Finn’s large hand holding my smaller one sent tingles all over my body and my breathing picked up, causing my chest to rise and fall. His eyes wandered down to my cleavage and back up to my face. I shook my head and tried to clear my head of the sensations. Clearing my throat I asked, “Was there something else?”
He paused watching my face for a long moment, “Well I guess not, other than I wanted to see if you would like to dance later.”
As much as I knew it wasn’t in my best interests to let Finn hold me that close, once he gave me that heart-stopping smile, I knew there was no way I could tell him no. “Of course.”
He let go of my arm and allowed his hand to drift to my lower back leading us inside the banquet. This was so not a good idea!
When we got back inside and made our way to our table, we walked right into the middle of a conversation Michael, Corey, Harper, and Callie were having about some of the stupid things Kyler had done in high school. They were all laughing so hard that Harper and Callie were doubled over, holding their stomachs.
“Oh my god dude, you remember that time senior year Ky tried to superglue his hand to Mary’s boobs?” Michael said between catching his breath laughing. “He’d slept with her at a party the weekend before and he said her rack was so awesome he wanted to be attached to them permanently?”
Ky looked like he was in a dream state. “Those were some great boobs. And I would have done it if someone hadn’t ratted me out to coach.” He sighed. “Eh, glad I never went through with it though. I’ve seen better since then.”
Corey was chuckling, holding on to Callie’s waist while she had her hand over her mouth hiding her smile. Michael pushed it a step further. “Yeah I bet you have. Living in Los Angeles you and Finn probably see some pretty hot women. You two must have a new one every night! I’ve heard women throw themselves at musicians out there.”
I was no longer smiling, and I turned and looked right up at Finn. The hand that had been on my lower back dropped and he brought it up to rub the back of his neck. He looked uncomfortable. “I suppose it was like that for a time but it’s not like that anymore.”
Kyler grabbed Finns arm, “Don’t let him fool you. He had women at his beck and call until Val. She’s smokin’ but they are always off and on.”
Oh no, this is just what I didn’t want to hear. I didn’t want to know what woman had managed to snag Finn and hold on to him when I hadn’t. My stomach rolled and I thought I was going to be sick. I dropped my eyes from Finn, and looked down at my feet.
He cleared his throat. I think he was trying to get me to look back up at him, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. I didn’t want to be there anymore. The space felt a little too small and suffocating. I thought about gra
bbing my purse and high tailing it out of there but, I didn’t want him to know how much the conversation had affected me.
“Ummm, yeah there was Valerie, but we aren’t together anymore.” Finn sounded pissed off at Kyler for bringing it up. I wished he hadn’t either.
“Sure, for now dude. She always comes running back when she wants and you keep taking her back. Hell, I’d take her back too. Seriously, you should see this chick. Her body is fucking unreal!”
Okay, I’d had about all I could handle of this conversation. I leaned down and grabbed my purse ready to walk away. I was about to tell Harper I was ready to go, when Finn moved to stand in front of me. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Let’s go get some air. We need to talk.” I desperately wanted to tell him no—that we had nothing to talk about—but I didn’t have the heart to say so. I kept my head down and nodded in agreement. He took my hand and pulled me away from the table. We made our way to a set of French doors that led outside. Before we made it, Harper caught up with us and grabbed my arm.
She watched Finn while she leaned over and said quietly to me, “If you want to go Em, we can leave now. You don’t have to go talk to him if you don’t want to. Just say the word.”
Finn narrowed his eyes at Harper but didn’t say anything, which was probably wise. I knew she didn’t want to see me get hurt, and I could tell by the look on her face she was about to kick him in the balls. I didn’t have to tell her where my head was with Finn, because she’d always known. It was something we didn’t talk about it because I think we both feared I would slip back to that place I had been all those years ago when he left.
I looked away from Finley and direct into Harpers eyes. “I promise I’ll be alright. We’re just going to get some fresh air and talk. I’ll come get you when I’m ready to leave, okay? I love you for being concerned but I’m alright.” I leaned in and gave her a tight hug.
While she was close to me she whispered, “I swear to god if he hurts you I will string him up by his toes and shove a hot fire poker in his ass.”
That made me laugh, which was what she’d wanted. We pulled away from each other and she smiled at me before turning around and walking back to the table. Kyler was watching her every move and I made a mental note to ask her about that in the car later.
Moving towards the outside again, Finn opened the doors and held them while I stepped out in front of him. I walked up to a black iron railing a few feet away and set my purse down. I kept my back to Finn, waiting for him to say something first. I knew he was watching me—I could feel it—but he said nothing. We just stood in silence. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I broke the quiet with my voice.
“Thanks for helping me out to your car and inside my house last night. I wasn’t sure how I got to bed but Harper told me what you did. So yeah, thank you.” I took a deep breath and looked out onto the nine-hole golf course the hotel sat on.
I heard Finn approaching and he stepped right up behind me, brushing his front against my back. He leaned down and his lips touched my ear. “You’re welcome Em.” He stood back up to full height and I waited for him to move away from me but he didn’t. He took a deep breath. We could hear the music loud and clear and he held his hand out in front of me. “May I have that dance now?”
I put my hand in his. “Sure.”
Grasping my hand he spun me around to face him. I lifted my other hand up to put up on his shoulder, while he simultaneously placed the hand he was holding on the other shoulder. God he was so much bigger than he used to be. Slowly raising my eyes to meet his, I saw him give me a slight smile. Finn rested his hands on my lower back just above my butt pulling me in tight against him. There was no way with me this close to him that he couldn’t feel my heart racing in my chest. I hadn’t felt him like this in so long and I couldn’t help but melt into his touch. Adele’s ‘Don’t You Remember’ had started to play over the speakers. It was as if someone up there wanted to make the mood even more intense. We swayed side to side as Finn hummed the song. His deep and gravely voice had always lulled me into a state of submission.
I couldn’t stand here and dance with the first man that I ever loved and listen to him sing to me so I interrupted. “So how is California?”
He stopped humming and looked down at me. “It’s been going well. Kyler and I have been writing like always, and we just bought a house together. It’s a different world out there. I’ve actually been thinking of buying a house back here so I have place to get away from it all, you know?”
“I’d heard you two were doing well. I’m happy for you Finn. I knew you would be successful and happy.” I looked back down at his chest and tried to keep moving to the music.
“That’s where you’re wrong Em. I’m successful yes, and Kyler and I make quite a bit off what we do, but whoever told you I was happy was sadly mistaken.” I tipped my head back to look up at him.
His eyes seemed to search mine for something, I just didn’t know what. “How could you not be happy? You’re writing music like you always wanted, you have a house, money,” I paused for a second and looked away, “and a beautiful girlfriend.”
He stopped moving and put his hand under my chin. “Look at me Emilyn.”
I didn’t want to, but I stared at him and waited for him to speak.
“Val and I are done. I was only with her because I was tired of feeling so lonely. Kyler is awesome and he’s like a brother to me, but something is missing.” He was watching me intently when he brought his hand up and he grazed his finger along my cheek. I closed my eyes tightly, trying not to cry at the contact. “How are you and Weston, Em?”
Why was he asking me this? Was I supposed to lie and tell him that everything was picture perfect? That we were a picture of marital bliss? That West made me happy and I couldn’t see myself without him? I’d never been able to lie to Finn with a straight face; he’d always seen right through me. I decided to tell him the truth, without going into details, “It’s been better. But all marriages go through rough patches. I’m sure that’s all this is. Weston is just really busy at the firm and they have been overloading him with clients. He’s just stressed out.” I was feeling a tad more emotional speaking about my marriage than I’d intended, but for some reason I wanted Finn to know.
The whole time I was speaking his eyes were bouncing around all over my face, and as I finished speaking, his hands moved to cup my cheeks. I shouldn’t let him touch me like this when we’re stood talking about Weston. And definitely not when he is the one man that could shatter me.
“Are you happy?”
I paused, “I have a beautiful house, a successful husband, money, health, family and friends that love me.”
“That’s not what I asked. I want to know if you’re happy. I don’t want a generic answer or what’s expected of you Em.”
I felt like I was two seconds away from collapsing to the ground and curling into a ball to protect myself from him. If I didn’t answer, I knew he would keep asking until I gave him the truth. Not trusting myself to speak, I shook my head.
He leaned forward to touch his forehead to mine; his eyes closed tight. Jesus he smelled amazing. I felt myself hold him tighter than necessary. “Fuck,” he said under his breath. He opened those bright blue eyes and they looked like there was so much conviction behind them, “I miss you Em. I mean I really miss you!”
That’s it, him saying the words I’d wanted to hear forever broke the dam and tears streamed down my face. I pulled my forehead from his. “How can you say that to me? I’m married Finn. You left me standing in the gym parking lot the night of graduation. I was a fucking mess after that night!” I was starting to get mad and so I stepped out of his embrace. Backing away and shaking my head, I raised my voice, “You don’t get to tell me you miss me Finn.”
He took a step towards me, causing me to step back. We made this move again and again, as if we were in some sort of messed up dance. I kept my eyes on him while he stalked towards me. “Stop” I whisper
ed as my back reached the wall. My eyes were closed and I held my palms out in front of me in surrender.
Standing in front of me, he reached up and brushed away the tears on the left side of my face. I couldn’t fight it. I opened my eyes and looked up at his handsome face, I leaned into his hand and my body shivered involuntarily. He must have taken it as a sign because he immediately pulled me up against his body with his other hand. When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse with emotion. “No Emilyn. I can’t stop thinking about you and I hate seeing you like this.”
That was all it took. I must have given him some sort of signal because the next thing I knew, his mouth was on mine. It started as a soft gentle brush of lips but built into a deeper, hungrier kiss. His tongue slid out of his mouth and traced my lower lip, causing my body to react. My hands reached up and grasped his shirt in clenched fists as I pulled him closer to me. I needed him, I wanted him. His kiss held more passion than I had remembered. The hand that had been on my cheek slid back into my hair and held my neck, while the other slid behind my back, pressing me as close to his body as I could get.
My mind was reeling. I knew I shouldn’t be doing this but I’d missed this feeling for the last ten years. The feeling of him pressed up against me, knowing that he wanted me, that he missed me! It was a heady feeling and I felt drunk on it. Our tongues moved and pushed up against each other and I moaned into his mouth. Finn sucked my tongue and I felt heat shoot through my body and I knew I was wet. I pulled back slightly and snaked my tongue out to lick along his lower lip. I wanted more. I opened my mouth more and pulled his lower lip into my mouth and nibbled on the soft flesh. Finn groaned into my mouth and ground his hard length against my stomach.