by Stacy Borel
W: We need to talk
E: K, I can call now if it is a good time.
W: Calling you now.
Harper said she’d give me some privacy but I asked her to stay. When my cell phone rang my heart was racing. I had to tell West about the pregnancy and I had absolutely no idea how he was going to react. Maybe he would be overjoyed and realize this was something he really did want in his life. Not that I would’ve taken him back, but I didn’t know very many people that didn’t like children; especially their own. We didn’t have to be married to co-parent and raise a child successfully. This could totally work out!
“Hello?”
“Hello Emilyn.”
“Hi West, how are you doing?” My little pep talk had calmed me down.
“I’m fine, but the reason I’m calling is because I received a bill in the mail from a Dr. Monroe’s office. My lawyer said that you got a job, so I’d like to know why you aren’t using their insurance now instead of mine? I looked over the paperwork Emilyn, it says that any medical coverage now falls on you. So where would you like me to mail this bill?”
Okay, obviously I was wrong. This was not what I had expected when he said we needed to talk. Well, I’d actually had no idea what he’d want to talk about, but a bill wasn’t it. “Your lawyer was correct, I do have a job. But it isn’t enough to cover my medical expenses.” Harper tapped me on the shoulder and whispered that she wanted to hear the conversation too, so I hit speakerphone.
“I’m not going to support you forever Emilyn. Put yourself on their insurance.” He was getting worked up and I didn’t want him angry when I told him the news.
“I already have West, but the coverage isn’t enough to pay for my appointments. I just need a few months to stay under your plan and then you can remove me.” I was pleading with him but I had no other choice. My insurance wouldn’t cover very much of the pregnancy and I didn’t want to start off my life with a baby and a ton of debt.
“What on earth is going on with you that you need to stay on my plan?”
I paused and looked up at Harper. It was now or never. “West… I’m… I’m…”
“For fuck sakes Em spit it out!”
“She’s trying to you little prick, but you interrupted her!” Harper shouted at him.
“Oh just fucking great, you have the Harpy on the phone?” West was really pissed now, and I could see this just wasn’t going to play out the way that I’d hoped it would.
“Yes, I’m sorry West, she’s just trying to be supportive.”
“So then what’s going on? Are you sick or something?”
“I’m pregnant Weston.”
I heard not a single, solitary sound from the other end. I took a hold of Harpers hand, willing myself not to cry. I’d finally told him and he wasn’t saying anything. I was about to check and make sure that he was still on the line when he started laughing. Seriously? How was anything about this funny? I’d just told the man that he was going to be a father. Maybe I’d officially caused him to go off the deep end.
“So you managed to get knocked up, huh?” He was still laughing. “Well good for you Emilyn but that’s not a good enough reason for you to stay on my insurance.”
“What do you mean it isn’t a good enough reason? How in the hell do you expect me to pay for my medical bills West?” Now I’m the one that’s fuming mad!
“That’s someone else’s problem!”
Harper was now standing up, “Why in the hell is it someone else’s problem? It’s your fucking kid!”
Silence.
I realized then that West hadn’t understood that the baby was his. He actually thought I’d gone and got myself pregnant after I left him. Hell, for all I know he might have assumed I got pregnant by another man before I even left! At that moment though, he wasn’t speaking and my anger was subsiding and hurt was creeping back in.
“Wait, how do you even know this is my kid Emilyn? You left over a month ago. How do I know this isn’t some other guy’s child and you’re trying to get me to pay for all of this?”
Uh oh, “You mother fucking piece of swine shit. It is your kid. She’s not trying to get you to pay for anything that you aren’t responsible for!” There went Harper’s infamous temper.
He let out a frustrated growl. I could just see him sitting at his desk, running his hands through his hair. “Was this your way of trapping me? Get yourself knocked up and then you’d get more money out of me?” West was shouting through the phone and Harper was off in the corner ranting about how to remove testicles in the most painful way possible. However I may have fantasized he would react was not how it was actually playing out. West really didn’t want the baby. He actually thought I got pregnant on purpose for more money. I was going to be a single parent. I hadn’t felt this crushed when I left West that night. I hadn’t even felt this lonely over the past month being away from him. It was really going to be just me and my little munchkin. The weight of the situation was heavy and tears pooled in my eyes.
“No, of course I didn’t do this to trap you! How could you even think that?” My throat hurt from trying to swallow back my tears. I instinctively held a protective hand over my stomach.
“How long have you known?” His voice dropped an octave and I could tell he was trying to stay calm.
“I found out last week. I went for a check up, they ran some tests and told me that I was expecting”. I decided against the full explanation as to why I’d visited the doctor that day. It just wasn’t worth angering him further. “I was just as shocked as you are West.”
“Shocked? I’m more than shocked Emilyn! I told you that I didn’t want kids. We’re in the middle of a fucking divorce! How in the hell do you propose we deal with this?”
“I’m not asking you for anything West. I just thought you might want to know that we are having a baby. I’ll take care of her, I just need to stay on your insurance for as long as possible and then I’ll need a little bit of help with the medical bills. But you don’t have to be a part of her life if you don’t want to.” God, it hurt to say that out loud. “I won’t force you to be involved… I just hoped you might want to.”
“Her? You know what it is?”
“No, I just… I guess I just have a feeling that it’s a girl.” I lovingly rubbed my stomach.
Harper walked back over to me and sat beside me on the couch, taking my other hand in hers. She spoke calmly… too calmly, “West, it’s Harper. Nothing is changing. You and Emilyn are still moving forward with the divorce. You will help her and this baby financially because it is your responsibility. She’s not asking you for anything else. Now, I suggest you make this as easy on her as you possibly can because she is pregnant and stress isn’t good for her, or the baby. If you upset her any more than you already have, so help me, your face will become intimate with my lucky softball bat, and you will learn exactly how I made the varsity team as a freshman.”
I seriously had the world’s best friend. Wiping away my tears I smiled at Harper and she held up her fist and we bumped knuckles. West started to tell Harper that it was against the law to threaten someone, but I knew he was scared of her. Shit I was scared of her, and she wasn’t even threatening me.
“How are we going to work around this Emilyn?” West asked.
“Honestly… I don’t know. It’s still so new. I’ve barely wrapped my head around it.”
“When are you due?”
“At the end of April.”
He was quiet for another minute. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do to keep you on my insurance for the time being. I think it would be wise for both of us to speak to our lawyers so we can lay out exactly what we want with this new development.”
“Sounds fair, I guess.” I couldn’t expect anything more from him. I wasn’t happy that he’d accused me of sleeping around right after leaving him, but I knew the truth. At least now he knew he could take some time to get used to the idea.
“Look, I have a meeting I need to go
to. I’ll talk to you later.”
I quietly answered okay, and we hung up. I looked over to Harper. “Well that went well.” I said, shrugging my shoulders and gave her a small smile.
“I can’t believe that bastard thought it was someone else’s. He may not have any tact sleeping around, but that’s not something you’ve ever done!”
“It doesn’t matter Harper, let it go. He needs some time to get used to the idea that he’s going to be a father.”
“Em, do you really think he’s going to want anything to do with the baby? You heard how he reacted.”
I was exhausted and I just wanted to take a nap. “I really don’t know. I’m just relieved I told him and I can start to enjoy this pregnancy. I’m still scared he may want to take my baby away just to hurt me or use her as some sort of financial pawn.”
Harper jumped, “No fucking way Em! That’s never going to happen. If he even tries, he will lose that battle. Don’t even think about that.”
“You don’t understand. I have to. West hasn’t been the same person he used to be for a very long time. He’ll do anything he can to get ahead. Hell he even used me to do it. I can’t not think about the possibility...” My eyes were tearing up again. I shook my head, and wiped my finger under my eyes. I stood up. “I don’t think I can talk about this anymore right now. I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go lay down for a bit. Can you wake me when it gets close to dinner time?”
Harper wrapped her arms around me, bringing her hand up to smooth down my hair. “Sure hon.”
I could see the worry etched on her face. She knew the reality of West being a vindictive person to get what he wanted in life, but she was going to be my rock and I was glad for that. I could—and would—survive this because of the people I had in my corner to support me. I needed to clear my head and calm my nerves. Harper was right. Stress wasn’t good for the baby and I had been under a lot of it lately. No matter how the baby issue with West played out, the divorce would still happen. I didn’t want him anymore—not that he’d ever even wanted me—and that would be a done deal soon enough. My ‘problem’ with Finn was festering in the back of my mind, but for now it would need to stay there.
But damn it was hard to forget about that kiss. That toe curling, melt the socks off you, passionate kiss that I swear I still felt on my lips. He may have said that he missed me—and his mouth may have seconded that notion—but I couldn’t ignore how broken I’d been when he left. The shattered pieces of my heart had never mended because I wasn’t enough for him. Those were the thoughts bouncing around in my head as I lay down for my nap; the very same thoughts that would now take a back seat while I focused on my new priorities. I no longer had the luxury of self-indulgence because I had a brand new human being that was relying on me to give it everything. I may have failed in my relationships, but I was determined to be the best Mother to my child that I could; the Mother that she deserved.
Two more appointments followed the first. One for some blood work, and another just to check my progress and make sure the baby was growing properly. I’d had no further contact with West since that one phone call. I’d come to the decision that whatever was going to happen would be out of my control, and if West wanted to be implacable then I would just deal with it. All I could do was live in the ‘now’.
Speaking of which, I was now at a point where my pre-pregnancy clothes no longer fit. I had grown a small little baby bump that was visible to the rest of the world. People at work noticed and were all supportive, and they loved to rub my tummy. At first I’d thought it was weird that people were touching me, but I’d gradually grown accustomed to it. Generally speaking, people loved baby bellies. Their hands would automatically reach out of their own accord and give my belly a little rub—some speaking to the baby as if it could hear them—and then go about their day. This became part of my new routine. I worked four days a week, and the other three days I stayed at home and cleaned, shopped, or stopped by my Dad’s office to help out with any extra little errands that needed doing. He was worried about me overdoing it and exhausting myself, but frankly I loved being busy. It made me feel like I had a purpose. I didn’t want to sit around and ‘rest’. Resting allowed for too much thinking time, and thinking was something I didn’t feel like doing.
It was a Wednesday afternoon when everything changed. It had started out as a normal day. I’d gone to work, done my usual six hours, and come home to do some laundry and start dinner. Harper called me as soon as I walked in the door and set my keys down.
“Hey, what’s up?” I said picking up a pair of shoes that had been left in the middle of the floor. I forgot all about them when she spoke.
“Don’t panic okay? I just got a phone call from Kyler, and apparently he’s in town for the next couple of days. I wasn’t expecting him until next week. I’m going to show him some places today and go to dinner tonight.” She was right, I was panicking.
“You’re not coming by here are you?” My breathing coming out in short bursts.
“No, don’t worry about that. I figured we could stop by that new Mexican place in town and then I’d drop him back at his parent’s house. Besides, can’t let the bastard think he is going to get laid.” She laughed, probably to try and calm my nerves.
I sat down on the couch, and hugged my growing mid-section. “He can’t find out Harper. I don’t want him running back to Finn, and telling him about this.”
“Sweetie, it’s okay. I’ll keep him away from the house.”
“Promise?”
“Of course I promise! Now don’t get yourself worked up. I’ll be home this evening. Why don’t you order a pizza or something and kick back until I get in.”
“Yeah, that sounds good.” I started to relax. “Text me if you’re going to be in late.”
“I won’t be, but okay.”
We said our goodbyes and I sat on the couch with my face in my hands, the pair of shoes from earlier on the floor beside me. I knew that this wasn’t something I could keep from Kyler and Finn forever, and at this point I wasn’t hoping for much beyond getting through the pregnancy and coming out on the other end with a happy and healthy baby. Once again I was faced with a situation that was out of my control. Harper knew what she had to do in order to keep Kyler from seeing me and I trusted that she would keep her word. I could only control my own actions so for tonight I would sit, relax, and watch one of my favorite movies. Harper was right about something else too… pizza did sound good.
For the next few hours I went about my plans as usual. I did some laundry and vacuumed the floors. I found it odd that the simplest and most mundane of household tasks gave me such pleasure. When I lived with West, we had a housekeeper. He didn’t like me doing the job that could pay someone else to do. No wonder I was always bored. When the house was cleaned, I changed in to an overly large pair of gray sweats and a white camisole and ordered an extra large supreme pizza. I found ‘The Notebook’, popped it in and let it run through the opening credits while I went to the bathroom and put my hair up in a messy ponytail. As I was walking back into the living room the door bell rang. I grabbed my wallet and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. I was starving and ready to gorge myself on wonderfully greasy, boxed food. But when I opened the door I wasn’t greeted by a teenage delivery boy. Instead Kyler was standing in front of me dressed in a pair of rugged jeans, a blue Henley and holding a bouquet of daisies—Harper’s favorite flowers. He was smiling and was about to say hi when his eyes wandered down to my visibly pregnant belly. He was as still and as I was and both of us were unable to speak.
He finally moved, and started to walk into the house towards me. I backed up, giving my head a slight shake back and forth. I was confused as to why he was even there, because he was supposed to be with Harper. How could she ask him to come over to the house knowing that I was here? When I’d backed all the way up into the living room, Kyler spoke.
“What the hell is going on Emilyn?” He rarely ever used my full nam
e when talking to me so I knew he was shocked, and likely didn’t know how to process what he saw.
“I-I thought…” I cleared my throat. “I thought you and Harper were going out to eat?” I knew changing the subject wouldn’t do a damn bit of good but I tried anyway. Kyler’s face had a hard edge to it as he looked from my face to my stomach.
“Huh uh Em, no diverting me like you’ve been avoiding Finn for the past two months.” He was still holding the bouquet as he used it to point at my mid-section. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding him?”
Tears pricked my eyes. “I haven’t been avoiding him. I’ve just been trying to deal with things on my own.”
He set the flowers down on the sofa table behind the couch. After pacing back and forth for a short while, Kyler stilled in front of me and pointed to the couch. “Sit.” A one word command that I obeyed, simply because I didn’t know what else to do with myself. He continued to pace, running his hands through his already unruly hair. He stopped in front of me with an angry look on his face. “I’m assuming that the baby is West’s?”
Jesus! What was it with people assuming it could be anybody else’s? It’s not like he knew that West and I were getting a divorce, so what kind of question was that?
Unless…
I was going to fucking kill her!
Now it was my turn to be pissed off. “Harper told you, didn’t she?”
“Told me what?”
“Oh cut the crap Ky! She told you about me and West didn’t she?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit!” I got up and started pacing in the same tracks that he just walked. “You better tell me right now Kyler Lewis, or so help me I will hurt you!”
That must have amused him because he was clearly trying not to laugh. He had a stupid look on his face that I just wanted to slap right off of him. “What? You don’t think I can?”