by Lynsay Sands
Her mouth turned into a sad moue at the thought of her host. He had given her a glimpse at the heights of passion, then withdrawn from her, leaving her to sink slowly on her own. And he had withdrawn from her. Much to Emily’s disappointment, Keeran had already been gone for the day when she had gone below the morning after their interlude in front of the fire. She had been even more disappointed when not only did he not seek her out that evening, but there was no sign of him at all. But Emily had convinced herself that he must just be busy. However, when he was absent all the next day and evening, she’d been forced to admit that he was deliberately avoiding her. Emily had blamed herself. She had been too forward and allowed too many liberties, and now he no doubt had a disgust of her.
It was three nights before Emily saw Keeran again, and when she finally did see him, she was sure it was an accident, that he hadn’t intended to run into her. That night, she had worked later than usual and was making her way toward the stairs when he had entered the hall from the other end. He’d paused, seemingly startled by her presence, then had moved slowly forward to meet her as if drawn by an invisible string. Pausing before her, Keeran had simply stared down at her for the longest time, a smile growing on his face that had confused her until he had reached out to run a finger lightly over her nose and announced, “You are the only woman I have ever met who looks adorable with dirt on her face.”
Emily had blushed at the compliment, then caught his fingers as he would have drawn them away. Pressing them to her cheek, she’d said, “I’m sorry. I know I behaved badly. Truly, I have never behaved so with another man. I know that may be hard to believe, considering how I acted, but it’s true. I—”
“Nay.” Shock had covered his face at her words and he had moved his fingers to cover her lips, silencing her. “Nay. You have nothing to apologize for, Emily. I—”
“Then why have you avoided me these past days?” She’d been unable to keep the pain and bewilderment out of her voice.
Keeran had stared at her helplessly, then groaned and pressed his mouth to hers. Passion had exploded between them, and Emily had found herself pressed up against the wall as his mouth devoured her lips and his hands traveled her body. Then his mouth had dropped to her neck, and Emily had given a surprised cry at the sharp pain that had claimed her as he nipped her throat.
Keeran had pulled away at once, horror on his face, then turned and rushed from the house. Emily had stared after him in shock, one hand pressed to the side of her throat. He had pulled away from her so swiftly that she had seen the long, sharp canine teeth protruding out over his lower lip. She’d stood there staring at the door he’d disappeared through, her thoughts in a whirl. He was never around in daylight. He’d somehow rescued her from that ship in a storm too violent for a rowboat to traverse it safely. He never ate at the castle, but “fed” elsewhere, as Mrs. MacBain had put it. The rumors in the village, the fact that the servants would not work before dawn or after dusk.. .. Keeran MacKay was a vampire.
Emily had still been leaning weakly against the wall when Mrs.
MacBain had found her. The older woman had taken one look at her pale face and had begun to defend her employer. She had sat Emily down and told her what she knew of the tale of The MacKay; how he had been turned, and how he had lived his life since that day. Despite the villagers’ fear of him, by all accounts he was a decent man, if man he could be called.
Emily had listened to the woman’s words a little vaguely. In truth, this revelation didn’t frighten her so much as shock her. Keeran MacKay hadn’t hurt her in all the time she had been there. Besides, she had seen the horror on his face when he realized what he had done. He hadn’t meant to nip her, perhaps hadn’t bitten her at all, but nicked her by accident with one of his sharp teeth. Still, she had let the woman talk, taking each story of his kindness and courage to heart. It meant something that, despite the poor treatment he received from the villagers, Keeran still went out of his way to search out missing children and such. It meant that he was a good man, a decent man, and that he loathed himself as much as the villagers did—else he wouldn’t allow them to treat him as they did. Now she understood the sadness and torment in the depth of his eyes. He saw himself as a monster and, as such, denied himself any semblance of a normal life, neither allowing friendships nor love to blossom, even balking at having a comfortable home. Her heart had ached for him in that moment, and Emily had determined that she would be his friend if he would allow nothing else.
She had taken to spending her evenings in the library, dozing until she heard him return home, then seeking him out and insisting he join her in tea by the fire. He did join her, though he never drank the tea, but merely warmed his hands on the steaming cups she poured him. They had never once spoken of what had happened or the fact that she knew what he was. They had spent many an enjoyable night talking by the fire, but had not had a repeat of the passion they had previously enjoyed. Keeran was now holding himself at a distance. Emily suspected he was afraid to let her in. She had done everything she could think of to try to break through the barrier he had erected, but nothing had worked. She was beginning to lose heart.
Emily felt time weighing on her and knew she must make a decision about her life soon. No matter how much she enjoyed his company and the peace of his home, she could not remain here forever. At least not without an invitation.
“My”
Emily turned at that long drawn out word and forced a smile for Mrs. MacBain as the woman peered around the newly painted room.
“It looks lovely.”
“Yes, but I fear I have completely ruined this gown,” Emily said ruefully as she glanced down at the stains and paint spatters covering her borrowed blue dress. She had worn it for most of the hard work, saving the few other gowns from the chest for the evenings when she relaxed in the library.
“‘Tis a fair trade, I should say,” Mrs. MacBain informed her grimly, and Emily managed not to grimace at those words with their gentle reprimand. The housekeeper had wanted Emily to allow the servants to do the painting, but she hadn’t wished to pull them away from their efforts cleaning the rest of the keep just yet. They were making such good headway, she hesitated to distract them.
“I hope your employer feels the same way.”
Mrs. MacBain glanced at her sharply at those stiff words, then reached out to pat her arm. “Never mind, dear. He’ll come around.”
Emily wasn’t sure what the older woman meant by that, so didn’t comment. She merely began collecting the paintbrush and paint together, intending to clean up.
“Leave those. I’ll tend to them,” the housekeeper insisted. “Mr. MacBain has already carried the water up for yer bath. It’ll grow cold if ye don’t use it soon. It’s why I came to find ye. Why dinnae ye go bathe and change into yer night things? I’ll bring yer dinner up to ye. Ye’ve circles under yer eyes from exhaustion, and should rest this evening.”
Emily hesitated, but allowed herself to be convinced in the end and murmured her thanks as she left the room. She had been working at a frenzied pace these last days, trying to avoid thinking about leaving and how to handle the earl of Sinclair if he should try to pressure her into marrying him as she feared. It was beginning to catch up to her. That wasn’t the reason the housekeeper was trying to convince her to remain in her room tonight, however. At least, Emily didn’t think it was. She suspected the woman feared her employer’s reaction to her painting the dining room.
A glance out the windows as she walked into the entry to start abovestairs showed her that the sun was sinking into the horizon. Emily supposed that was why Mrs. MacBain had fetched her to send her to her room: to get her out of the way before Keeran awoke and saw that she had painted his dining room. It was the one plan she had not mentioned to him, wanting to keep it as a special surprise. Mrs. MacBain was dubious about whether it would be a pleasant one.
Emily entered her room to find that the MacBains had indeed already prepared her bath. The tub sat before a
roaring fire and several candles lit the room. Emily slid out of her dress and sank into the steaming water with a sigh.
She would have to leave all this soon. She would have liked to stay. It was why she had delayed her decision so long, but Emily had come to the conclusion as she painted today that, though she wasn’t looking forward to the prospect, she couldn’t continue to delay leaving indefinitely.
Pushing the thought from her mind, she concentrated on scrubbing the paint from her skin and washing her hair, then stepped out of the tub, dried herself, and donned the nightgown and robe that had been laid out on the chair near the fire. Finally, she sat in that chair to brush her long hair. The golden tresses had nearly dried when the door to her room suddenly burst open and Keeran stormed in.
Startled at his sudden appearance, Emily stood slowly and faced him, alarm on her face. He hadn’t been in her room since the night he’d carried her up from the library. He didn’t look pleased to be here now. A scowl made him appear rather ferocious as he moved to her at a quick clip.
“You have to stop. Just stop!” he snapped.
Emily’s eyebrows flew up on her forehead. “Stop what?”
“Stop everything. You can not simply show up one day and begin cleaning and painting and disrupting my life like this.”
He looked more pained than angry, she decided, and felt herself
relax as understanding reached her. Her voice was gentle when she asked, “Why? Because you do not feel you deserve it?”
He reacted as if she had slapped him, his head jerking back in reaction to her words. He spoke through gritted teeth when he said, “I do not deserve it. I am a monster. A beast. I—”
She gave a derisive snort that silenced him and left him staring at her blankly. Taking advantage of his silence, Emily said, “You are hardly a beast, Keeran. I have been here over a week and come to no harm.”
“I nearly bit you,” he reminded her grimly.
“Yes,” she agreed. “But you didn’t. Nor do you feed off your own people, from what I can tell, and those you do feed on suffer no lasting effects when they very easily could.”
“You don’t understand.”
“But I do,” she assured him. “I do understand. Beasts do not trouble themselves to hunt for lost children.”
He stared at her silently for a moment, then said, “You shall depart and the servants shall follow and I shall be left to watch my home decay and fall into ruin again. It would be easier if you just leave it as is rather than give me this taste of life.”
“Oh, Keeran,” Emily breathed. Pained by what these words revealed of his life, she reached out and touched his cheek.
They stood frozen like that for a moment and she could see him struggle with himself, then he gave in with a groan and turned his mouth into her palm, placing a kiss there. Before her brain could quite register the gentle kiss, he turned back to her and pulled her into his arms. Emily went willingly, raising her mouth to be plundered even as she stepped into his embrace. He was hard and cool, handsome and tragic, exciting and passionate.
Emily opened to him like a bud, the petals of her mouth spreading to allow him in to taste her nectar. Keeran drank deeply of that nectar, his hands sliding over the soft, thin robe she wore and molding her to his body. But soon that wasn’t enough and he knew he must have more. This, of course, was what he had feared, why he had tried to avoid her this last week. Not that he had succeeded. His much-vaunted control had deserted him with her entrance < her over web gossamer a nightgown, of cloth thinner even the was it but here, again material encountered He stomach. flesh warm spread to robe beneath hands his slid then floor, dropped he loose, sash Tugging robe. than more feel eager were sensation-starved Now them. between distance that least at keeping her, touch or kiss himself allowed not had restraint. some maintain managed But spoke. she as moved lips way enjoying and hair golden on firelight glow watching simply hours spending evening, every out seeking found Keeran nights, two first those after and, life,>
Keeran slid his fingers up over the material and groaned in his throat with pleasure as he caught her breasts in his hand. When Emily gasped, he caught the sound with his mouth as she pressed into his touch. As pleasurable as this was, he still yearned to touch her naked flesh. Reaching down, he caught at the long skirt of the gown and tugged it upward, gathering it until he could slip his hand beneath and across her warm skin. She felt as good as he recalled, her leg smooth and warm. Keeran let his hand drift around to her bottom, cupping the globe with one palm and urging her against his hardness, then let his hand drop and slid it around in front until he could trail his fingers up one inner thigh.
Emily cried out into his mouth and began to lean heavily into him as he reached what he sought. Keeran immediately eased them both to kneel on the fur that had been set before the fire. He had noticed when he first entered that this room had finally been seen to. It was now as clean as most of the rest of the castle and had several added comforts since his last visit. Keeran was grateful for this one as they came to rest on the soft fur.
Breaking their kiss, he trailed his lips over her throat, then quickly away as a new hunger tweaked at him. He had come directly here after awaking and seeing the newly painted dining room. He should have learned from the experience earlier in the week and fed first. He could still hardly believe that he had nearly bitten her then. But that hunger was threatening to make itself known and was held at bay only by his desire. Once away from the temptation of the pulsing vein in her throat, Keeran felt that hunger ease a bit and managed to push it out of his mind as he urged Emily further back over his arm and made his way toward the mound of one breast. That first night, desperate desire had made him mouth her through the cloth of her gown. Tonight that would not do. Tugging the scooped neckline to the side, he managed to force it far enough down her arm that one breast was revealed. Keeran immediately lowered his face and sucked one engorged nipple into his mouth, teasing it until Emily was shifting and making exciting little mewls of sound.
“Keeran . . . please ... I want...” Her words ended on a gasp as he slid one finger inside of her, stretching and pleasuring her at the same time. His body tightened in anticipation as her wet heat closed around the digit. He could already imagine what it would feel like to be inside of her. He wanted to be there right then, but knew she wasn’t ready. He would have to be patient. The fact that he could made him wonder if some bit of control didn’t remain to him after all.
Emily was coming apart. Keeran’s delicious touch was making her mindless. She wanted it to go on forever, but this time she wanted to touch him in return. Forcing his mouth away from the breast he had bared, she urged him back enough that she could reach between them and begin to tug at his shirt. She managed to free the cloth from his breeches, but then needed his cooperation to remove it completely. Much to her combined regret and relief, Keeran gave up caressing her long enough to tug the shirt up over his head. He didn’t immediately return to caressing her again, but kissed her instead as she let her hands travel over his chest and shoulders, enjoying the feel of him.
She was aware that he was urging her backward as he kissed her. They were both still kneeling, so she was being forced back onto her haunches. She ended lying in an odd and even slightly uncomfortable position. But Emily forgot that discomfort when he suddenly straightened and pushed her gown up her thighs, stomach, then up further until her breasts were revealed as well. Shock took she place of confusion for a second, as she realized she was now splayed out before him like a buffet, her knees spread wide, her buttocks resting on her heels and raising the center of her as if in offering.
Uncertainty and shyness filled Emily then and she tried to rise back up, but Keeran held her in place by lowering his head to her breast again. The shock of sensation that shot through her as he suckled her was enough to make her hesitate, and when his hand slid between her open thighs once more, it was enough to keep her still.
If there was any discomfort now, Emily no l
onger felt it. She was aware only of the pleasure he brought her with his mouth and caresses. Disappointment drifted through her when he left her breast, but then the stretched muscles of her stomach quivered and jerked as he trailed kisses down over it. She had a moment’s shock and embarrassment when he continued downward until his face disappeared between her legs. Then the sensations he awakened within her pushed those aside and she cried out with unbearable pleasure instead.
When his hands drifted up to catch both her breasts as he continued to caress her with his mouth, Emily caught at and covered them with her own, squeezing them tightly in place.
Keeran immediately pinched at her pebbled nipples, tweaking them and adding to her excitement until she thought she could stand no more. It was then that something burst within her, convulsing her muscles and making her cry out his name in mindless delight.
Keeran murmured soothing words and held her as she rode the crest of the ecstasy he had given her. Then he straightened and scooped her into his arms. Emily wrapped her own arms around his shoulders and pressed her face into his neck so that she could kiss him there with joy and gratitude. She felt as if she had taken an elixir and was now in some sort of drugged state, her mind floating loosely. She was glad he was carrying her, for the muscles in her legs—in her whole body, really—were trembling so that she didn’t think she could walk.
Halfway to the bed he whispered her name and Emily lifted her head to peer at him. The moment she did, he bent to claim her lips in a kiss. Much to her amazement, the passion she’d thought had burnt itself out immediately burst back to life within her and she eagerly kissed him back.
He continued to kiss her as he crossed the room. When they reached the bed, rather than set her down, he settled on the soft surface with her still in his arms. Emily found herself seated in his lap, her arms clinging around his shoulders as he kissed and held her. Her gown had fallen to cover her breasts, but caught at her waist when he had picked her up. Now she felt him tugging it upward. They were forced to break the kiss so that he could lift it off over her head. He tossed it carelessly aside, then began to kiss her again as his hands slid unhampered over her body.