by J. M. Nevins
She glanced up and smiled. She then put her finger over her lips and pointed to Kit who was sleeping lightly. Maxine got up and headed toward Sully. She hugged him tightly and whispered. “How was the show?”
He whispered back. “Legendary. Mind if I take over your shift?”
She kissed him on the cheek. “Be my guest.” She left the room while Sully made his way over to the chair next to Kit’s bed and took a seat.
He scooted the chair closer to the bed and gently took Kit’s hand. Overcome with emotion, he rested his forehead on her hand and started crying.
Kit started stirring and glanced down at her right hand, noticing Sully. She felt his tears fall onto her hand and closed her eyes for a moment. She felt tears of her own start to fill her eyes and gulped. She gently smoothed his hair with her left hand. Feeling her touch, he looked up at her, his steel-blue eyes reflecting a mixture of fear and relief.
She held out her arms to him and he took a seat on the edge of the bed. He gently hugged her and rested his head on her shoulder. She stroked his back and kissed him on top of his head. “It’s ok, Sull.”
He finally pulled back and stared at her. She took his face into her hands gently. She stared deeply into his eyes. “I won’t ever leave you, ok? Just ‘cuz we’re not together anymore, doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less. You’re still my best friend.”
He swallowed hard and tried to hold back his tears, but he couldn’t seem to turn them off. “You’re mine too. I love you so much, Kit.”
Her eyes welled up with tears and she forced a grin. She leaned forward and gave him a sweet peck on the lips. “I love you too, Sull.” She then cast her eyes down. “I know you’ve heard. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” She finally met his eyes again. “I’m sorry I lost our baby.” She started sobbing.
He shook his head and held her tightly. “Baby, this was not your fault. It couldn’t have been helped. You did everything right from what Lex told me. And I’m sorry I didn’t make things easy on you. I’ve been a real asshole.”
She giggled and playfully shoved him. “Yeah you have. Jeez. Sometimes your temper gets the best of you.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I know you’re right about that. I’ll work on it.” He gently stroked her cheek. “How are you feeling?”
She raised her eyebrows. “I’m on so many drugs right now, I’m not feeling anything. Probably for the best.” She grabbed his hand. “I can’t continue the tour, Sully. I’m sorry. I’m heading back to New York. I’m going to recuperate at Wes and Lex’s place. I’ll do my best to show up for Boston and definitely Madison Square Garden, though. But I can’t make any promises about the rest of the tour until I get clearance from my doctor.”
He nodded and stroked her hair. “I understand. It will be a bummer not having you around, but you need to focus on healing right now. I’ll support you in any way I can.”
She grinned. “Actually I’m glad you said that.”
He laughed. “Oh no. What have I gotten myself into?”
She smiled. “Want to co-manage the band with Frank Campo while I’m gone? I was thinking of asking him to take over. You can wrangle the guys and help him, maybe? I should only be out for two months at the most. Maxine will be back on the jet with you in the morning. She’s resuming the tour.”
He sighed. “Anything you want. Do you want me to have Frank stop by? I may be able to get him over here tonight.”
She giggled. “I actually had Lex call Sean and ask. He’s probably on his way over. So, tell me how the show was tonight. I heard it was off the chain!”
He laughed. “Who told you?”
She grinned. “A little bird named Sean-Bon called me when you were on your way over. He wanted to check on me and spilled the beans. Congrats! Three encores—so fantastic!”
He grinned. “I’ll get to that in a minute. Can we get back to us right now before Frank gets here and we go back to biz again?”
She nodded and gazed into his eyes. She could tell he was wrestling with something. “Ok.”
He took her hand and nodded. He cast his eyes down for a moment and sighed. “I know I’ve screwed us up too many times over the last few months. I’ve said some things to you that I’ll regret forever. I’ve broken your heart. I haven’t treated you the way you deserve to be treated. I’m not proud of these things, Kit.” He gazed up into her inviting emerald eyes. “But, I want to make things up to you. I’ve waited way too long to bring up this subject again, but, Kit, let’s just kill the charade and make us official.”
She stared at him and shook her head. She forced a grin. “I know I’ve hurt you too, Sully. We were both at fault here, but I don’t know that I’m ready to jump into anything quite yet. I’m so confused about so many things right now. My head isn’t straight and neither is my heart.”
He closed his eyes and felt like he had been punched in the stomach. He had waited too long, he thought. It was over. He was too late. He swallowed hard and nodded sadly. “I understand.”
She realized she was losing him. The sadness in his eyes spoke volumes and she suddenly wanted to fix things. She wasn’t ready to jump in right now, but that didn’t mean the future was out of the picture. Before she could set the record straight, Frank strolled into her room.
He grinned. “Kit, how are you feeling? Sure you’re up to a meeting right now? Sean insisted I come by.”
She nodded and looked at Sully who couldn’t face her. She smiled. “Frank, can you give Sully and me a minute? Then you can come back in and we’ll all talk business.”
Frank nodded. “Sure. I’ll be back in a few.”
As he walked out of the room, Kit grabbed Sully’s hand, gently pulling him back as he was about to make his way to the chair next to her bed. He resumed his seat next to her on the bed and stared at her in anticipation.
She reached out and stroked his cheek. “Sully, my no is for tonight. Give me time. You need time too. Take it. It will benefit both of us. This isn’t no forever. This is no for tonight only.”
A grin spread across his face and he felt relief wash over him. “You really mean that?”
She nodded. “Absolutely. Take this time. Have fun on the road without me. I need some serious recovery time. And then when I come back out on the road, we’ll see where we’re at. Fair?”
He smiled. “Yes. Can I give you a kiss?”
She chuckled. “Yes, but don’t get crazy. I went through a four hour surgery earlier, y’know.”
He stroked her cheek. “I know. And I’m so grateful you’re right here in front of me, letting me kiss you.” He gently gave her a long kiss on the lips.
As he pulled back, she sighed. His kisses still made her heart skip a beat. She wanted to jump right back in and tell him everything was ok, but she knew it wasn’t. She still needed time to heal from all that had transpired over the last few months. She was nearly there, but now Simon was in the picture complicating the situation and she couldn’t deny her feelings for him either.
Frank returned and they resumed their business meeting with Kit handing off the management of Gypsy Tango to both Sully and Frank in her absence. She had built a great rapport with Frank since the tour started. She felt relieved knowing the band was in good hands.
Her personal life, though, was another story all together. She had big messes on her hands she did not feel equipped to handle. She realized this was one of those situations where she had to feel her emotions despite the level of discomfort. There was no avoiding it, the only way out was through. Joe’s words haunted her, coaxing her to keep her heart open. The riskiest strategy of all, she thought.
The rain pounded the windows of the limousine as it crept along the streets of Midtown toward the Lincoln Tunnel. Kit slumped back into the seat, trying to get comfortable. She had only been in New York two weeks. Her recovery wasn’t going as smoothly as she had planned. Physically, she was still uncomfortable, but it was manageable. Emotionally, the pain was excruciating. Coming to terms
with a miscarriage and possible infertility in her future wasn’t easy. The constant stop and go of the limousine lulled her easily into a nap.
The limousine stopped a few feet from the jet sitting on the tarmac at Teterboro. She roused and squinted as the driver opened the door and greeted her with an umbrella. She gave him a kind grin as he walked her to the base of the stairs. She sprinted up quickly and made her way to the back of the plane where set got settled. She didn’t mind forking over the money for the charter. It was hard enough to fly back into Philadelphia emotionally. Knowing she’d be seeing her family definitely made things even worse.
The flight time was so short, she didn’t have the time to get drunk as she had originally intended. Scotch in the limousine would have to do. Sunlight streamed through the cabin and Kit threw on her dark sunglasses before descending the stairs.
As the limousine pulled into the parking lot of the stadium for the University of Pennsylvania, Kit grinned. She was immediately reminded of her own graduation. She was an undergraduate alumnus of the Wharton School of Business. She was honored her little brother had followed the same path. She stepped out of the limousine, straightened her dress reflecting one of the colors of her alma mater, and headed for the entrance.
She made her way to the section where her family was sitting. She had called her grandmother earlier in the week to let her know she would be there. She was excited to see her. As she approached, she thought her eyes were deceiving her, but as she got closer, she realized they weren’t. Sully was dressed in a navy blue suit, sitting next to her grandmother happily engaged in conversation. They were laughing together.
He looked up and noticed Kit. He grinned, stood up and stepped to the side. “Hi. I was keeping your seat warm. I was just having a great conversation with your Nana.”
Kit’s grandmother, Tilly, stood up and reached out for her, smiling from ear to ear. Kit hugged her tightly. “Nana! I’m so happy to see you.” She noticed the disapproving stare of the remainder of her family in the distance, but she suddenly didn’t care. She returned her focus to her grandmother. “Can I sit next to you, or would you rather sit with Sully?”
Tilly laughed. “Oh Kitty, dear, he is entertaining, but I would love to sit with you. It’s been so long. I can’t believe Spencer is graduating.”
Kit took her seat in between Sully and her grandmother. “Me neither.” She glanced over at Sully. “Where did you come from?”
He chuckled and put his arm around her. “Spencer sent me an invitation and a ticket months ago. I’m on borrowed time, though. I flew in on a private charter and I have to fly out right after the ceremony. I gave Spence a heads up. I told him I’d say hey and then I’d have to jump. He’s cool with it. Wish I could go to his graduation party, but I’ve got soundcheck in Baltimore. You look gorgeous. I see you’re wearing your ‘Penn Blue.’”
Kit couldn’t mask her admiration. She was touched he had gone to such great lengths to attend her brother’s graduation. She knew Spencer and Sully had developed a close friendship, but she never imagined she would see him there. She grinned and patted his knee. “That’s really cool of you, Sull. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled you made it. And yes, I’m wearing my school colors. Had to. I see you are as well.”
He snickered. “Spence suggested it, but I don’t think he planned for us to look like twins.” He looked around the stadium. “So, is this where you graduated all those years ago… before you met me?”
She giggled and nodded. “Yep, class of 1984, dual degrees, bachelor of science in economics and bachelor of arts in music. Can’t believe it’s been five years. Makes me feel kind of old.”
He chuckled. “Baby, you’ll never be old. You’re like a fine wine. You get better with age.”
She grinned and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.”
Sporting his black cap and gown, Spencer ran toward Kit with arms outstretched. “Kit, I did it!”
She laughed and hugged him tightly. “You did! I’m really proud of you, Spence. Completing the Huntsman Program is quite an accomplishment. I’m glad to see your brain didn’t pop. That’s a really tough program!”
Sully looked at them both. “Ok, clue me in here. What’s the Huntsman Program?”
Spence grinned. “I got dual degrees like Kit. The Huntsman Program is a bachelor’s in economics and a bachelor’s in international studies.”
Kit giggled. “Yes and with honors.” She glanced at Sully. “He’s now fluent in three languages.” She shifted her attention back to Spencer. “You’re most definitely the smartest McKenna in our bunch, Spence.”
He chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Stop. You graduated with honors too. Don’t go giving me all the family cred. And by the way Dad is pissed I’m going to Anderson, but I could care less.”
She giggled. “Oops. He probably blames me for that too.”
He shrugged. “Nope. I made it clear this was my decision and that you did not influence me. I want a piece of the pie that you’ve got out in Cali. Think you can find a spot for me in your management company?”
She giggled. “I’m sure we could work something out.”
He shifted his attention to Sully. “You made it!” He gave Sully a big hug. He bubbled over with excitement as a crowd started to form around them. He yelled to his friends. “See, I wasn’t playin’! Told ya there’d be a rock star at my graduation.”
Sully laughed and joked. “Is that all you wanted me here for? To show me off to your friends?”
Spencer laughed. “Hell no!” Towering a few inches over Sully, he got him into a headlock and started rubbing his head, messing up his hair. “Just wanted to do that. Now you’re inaugurated, man. After all, you’re gonna be my brother officially one day.”
Kit tilted her head to the side, hearing Spencer’s last comment and wondered what was going on as they continued to roughhouse like two little boys. She chuckled. Her grandmother grinned. “They get along fabulously. Sully is perfect for you, Kitty.”
She looked at her grandmother. “Nana, we’re not together anymore. We’re just best friends.”
Tilly chuckled and patted her hand. “Ok, darling. You keep telling yourself that.” She left Kit standing alone and approached Spencer.
Sully gave Tilly a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye to Spencer, noting he’d see him soon. Spencer would be joining Sully and Kit on the road in a month.
He approached Kit and hugged her tightly. He pulled back and smiled. “I have a flight to catch. Duty calls. You gonna be okay with the McKenna clan?”
She nodded and joked. “Yeah. I’ll be fine with a whole lotta Jameson.” She chuckled and grinned. “Actually, I’m staying with Nana tonight. Between her and Spence I’ll be ok.” She didn’t want him to leave, but knew he had to. She forced a smile. “Have a good show. Give the guys my love.”
He grinned. “You got it.” He winked at her and waved as he ran off.
The contracts on Kit’s desk only served to add to her looming depression. Her emotions were still all over the place. Her hormones hadn’t leveled off yet. Four weeks had passed since her emergency surgery and she desperately wanted to go back out on the road, but hadn’t been cleared by her doctor. He cleared her to work at the Diamond offices knowing it would be sedentary in nature, but running around with a hard rock band all over the world wasn’t in the cards for her yet.
She wondered how Sully was fairing. She had weekly conference calls with both Frank and Sully and also Sean, but that didn’t give her the full snapshot she was looking for. She was almost afraid to ask, knowing that on her end, she was a train wreck.
Drinking way too much along with trolling Manhattan’s best rooftop parties, had turned into a nightly ritual for her despite Alexa’s constant nagging. She had met all kinds of people—ones she knew were no good for her. Elite partiers that had access to everything and Kit found herself constantly tempted with the powdery substance that led to her demise months ago.
Luckily, she did
n’t touch it, but every night her restraint was waning. At night her demons came alive and taunted her, reminding her of Sully’s cutting words that she was just like her father. She was starting to think maybe she was. Had she turned into the ice queen that was so focused on business she had no heart left? She feared that might be her new reality and she wondered if she was doomed to live the lyrics of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Gold Dust Woman.’
Simon was due into town that night. They had been talking on the phone regularly and she still felt a strong connection to him, but after everything that transpired in the last four weeks, she wasn’t feeling like being in a relationship at all. She wasn’t sure she’d be a good partner to anyone.
Kit’s mind was reeling again thinking about Sully. She glanced at her wristwatch. She searched her desk for the Gypsy Tango tour schedule and located the information she wanted. She dialed and asked for Maxine’s room. Her chipper voice answered. “Hey! How’s life on the road, Miss Max?”
“Kit! How are you? How are you feeling these days? Will you be back out soon? I miss you! It’s no fun out here without you. I mean the guys are cool and all, but it’s not the same.”
She sighed. “Aw, I want to be out, but I can’t be right now. Hopefully soon. Sounds like things are running well.”
“Yep. Frank is doing a great job. He’s not you, but he’s certainly good in a pinch.”
She hung on Maxine’s last word waiting for more detail and when she received silence, realized she would have to go digging for the information she sought. “And Sully? How’s he doing?”
Maxine chuckled. “I was waiting for that question. He’s ok, I guess. He’s a little off the rails right now. He was in Chicago last week. I dunno why. Maybe he had something family to do, y’know? Whatever happened there tipped him.”
Kit frowned. “Was he in Evergreen Park?”