He wasn’t sure what his expression showed, but the words had made him tense.
“Nothing’s wrong, Lanford, I promise. But something came up about your case.”
He studied her face. She wasn’t smiling as if she’d solved it and found someone else who’d confessed to it. He expected she’d look pretty pleased if that had happened.
She wasn’t angry, as if she’d found more evidence against him.
Still, there was a determination in her gaze. Something was up.
He glanced at his dirty hands and rubbed the loose soil off.
“I’m kind of dirty right now.”
She nodded. “Harold suggested you were able to set your own hours, so I was hoping you’d be ready to take a lunch break. I could pick up some takeout, maybe meet you at the benches behind the church?”
Some takeout behind the church sounded a lot less formal than sitting in her office. Sarah was going out of her way to help him, and he greatly appreciated it.
He nodded. “I’ll clean up and meet you there. I’ll bring my wallet.”
She opened her mouth, and he braced for her to refuse his offer.
Instead, she nodded, and asked what he wanted from the sub shop.
It was a little thing, but it made him believe that he was free from prison in a vital way. He was earning his own way, paying for himself. He wasn’t a guest of the state, and he could make his own decisions now.
There were times that overwhelmed him, but he was learning. This was his life now. He wasn’t going back.
Sarah returned to her vehicle, and he found his gaze following her. Again. Fortunately, he realized what he was doing before she caught him. He walked toward the parsonage, determined to wash up thoroughly and change from his grubby clothes. There wasn’t time for a shower, but he didn’t want to be covered in dirt when they had their lunch together.
No, it was a meeting that just happened to fall over a meal. Still, he took time to run a comb through his hair.
Sarah was already sitting on a bench when he made his way to the back lawn of the church. There were some large old oak trees that had been there before the church was built. The oaks were the last to fully leaf, but they now provided a green canopy that protected Lanford and Sarah from the sun. Sarah had sat on one end of the bench and laid out sub sandwiches and pop in the middle. She looked up and smiled when she saw him approaching.
That smile hit him, right in the chest.
He wanted this—Sarah meeting him for lunches. Smiling up at him when he appeared. He could feel his own smile, awkward from lack of use as he answered hers.
He knew something had just happened to him, but he couldn’t dwell on it. She was waiting for him to sit and join her. She wanted to talk about something.
He drew in a breath and got his expression under control. A skill he’d learned and could make happen instantaneously. He sat down, and she passed him the sandwich he’d requested.
“Thank you.”
“No problem. It’s nice to have an excuse to get out and eat in the sun for once.”
His glance shot from the sandwich in front of him to her face.
“You have to stay in the office for lunches?”
Her lips pursed. They were bare of makeup, but the soft pink color, the shape, was distracting him. He forced himself to focus on his food.
“I guess I don’t, not really. But I’m on my own, so it’s easier to just stay there.”
He took a bite and chewed. He considered.
“How long have you been here, in Balsam Grove?” he asked after he swallowed.
“Six months.”
“You haven’t made friends? Someone to meet for lunch?”
He stilled. Was that too much? Something he shouldn’t ask? He shot another glance her way.
She met his gaze and shrugged.
“No, but it’s my own fault.” She took a bite and chewed while he waited.
“Part of it is that I’m trying to stay neutral. If something comes up, I’m not supposed to take sides, right? I’m supposed to do my job.”
Lanford frowned. “But does that mean you can never have friends?”
She sighed, and he knew there was more behind that.
“I had friends back in the city, and you’re right, I didn’t worry about it then. But I was working for a big department, and if something came up that impacted people I knew, there were other people to take over. I could recuse myself.”
He nodded slowly. That did make some sense.
“Sheriff Harding was the only law agent working here, but he had buddies. I remember that.”
They’d had a poker night, the sheriff and a few others in town. And he’d been part of a fishing group.
“The other part is that I’m not sure I’m staying. So, I guess, it didn’t seem like it was worth a lot of effort, not when I was probably leaving again.”
“When?” As soon as the thought hit his head, the word had come out. He really wanted to know how long Sarah was going to be here.
“I signed a yearlong contract. They’ll have an election after that, see if anyone will run this time. My plan was to head back to the city.”
He waited, but she ate another bite of her sandwich, not offering more information. He wanted to know why, why she’d come and why she wanted to leave after a year. It couldn’t be anything to do with him since this had all started six months ago.
He wanted the answers, but he’d pushed enough. He had no right to ask her to share her secrets.
“I wanted to talk to you. It’s about your case.”
She was changing the subject. He was both disappointed and relieved. He leaned on the relieved feeling, since the disappointment had no business happening.
He’d finished his sandwich, so he folded up the paper wrapping.
“I was called to the bar last week—the why doesn’t matter. Afterward, I talked to the bartender and your name came up. He was at the party that night, the night of the fire. Billy’s name came up, too, and he said that Billy was involved in the storage facility.”
Lanford wondered how his name and Billy’s name had “come up.” Then he processed what Sarah had said. Billy... Involved?
He frowned. That didn’t match.
“After his father died?”
“No, at the beginning. When it was being developed and built.”
Lanford remembered the conversation they’d had with Billy in the sheriff’s office. It hadn’t been that long ago, and every word had stuck. “He said he wasn’t part of it.”
Sarah nodded again. “I know. I did some research. And I found an article where his dad said it was all Billy’s idea.”
Lanford’s hands were gripping the seat of the bench, hard. Had Billy found out? No, how could he? Allison would have said... Was that what she’d been trying to talk about that night? But she wouldn’t have told Billy about their relationship. Not when she wanted to marry Billy so badly. How else would he have found out...?
“I also reached out to someone I know in Australia, to see if I could get more information about how the property was sold to U-Stor. Your dad’s cousin, who inherited the property, died soon after. But his son remembered that his dad got the offer to purchase the land almost the same week it was deeded to him. I did some checking. Your place was not the only property available at that time, but no offer was made to the other one.
“If Billy was behind all that, as it appears, he wanted to hurt you specifically.”
Lanford felt cold, despite the warm air.
“So, Lanford. I know you haven’t wanted to talk about why people would have had reasons to target you. I didn’t push because I could do my own research. Since you’ve been back, people have talked about you some, and I dug into the files at the station.
“But I didn’t find anyone who’d be th
at upset. And I can’t find any reason Billy would have wanted to harm you. But he lied about U-Stor. And he hates you, more than seems reasonable for losing a friend that long ago.
“So I have to ask you. Is there a reason Billy might have done this? Is there a reason for how he feels strongly about you? Is there any connection with the girl you had an affair with?”
Lanford tilted his head back, looking up into the branches of the oak tree. He didn’t want to believe it, but he had to consider the possibility that Billy had found out about his relationship with Allison.
The guilt hit, hard. If Billy had done this, he’d set the fire because of Lanford’s selfish actions.
He’d murdered his father and brother as surely as if he’d lit the match himself.
Chapter Fifteen
Sarah saw comprehension dawn on Lanford. There was something to do with Billy, Lanford knew it, and the guilt was overwhelming.
She wanted to reach over, touch him, assure him everything was all right. But they didn’t have that kind of relationship, and she didn’t know if everything was all right. He’d deliberately kept this knowledge from her. And she was very afraid that whatever it was might not be over and done with.
“Can you tell me what it is, Lanford?” She spoke softly, encouragingly. Was his life in danger? Was hers?
He opened his eyes, but was gazing upward, at the tree overhead.
“It’s not just my secret. It could hurt someone else.”
Sarah felt that one. It struck close to home. It must be the girl.
She understood the desire to protect someone, but also the need to solve a case—and how difficult a choice it could be when those two things were in opposition.
It was a choice she’d made, perhaps wrongly.
It also meant that there was, perhaps, something she could do to convince Lanford to trust her.
She could share with him the information she’d been guarding. Why she was in Balsam Grove. The real reason, not that she just needed a break.
“Can I tell you a story?”
Lanford dropped his head and turned to her. She could see the wariness in his eyes. He expected the full-court press.
What she wanted to do was expose a little of herself, the part of her that had made wrong choices. She could show him that she also made mistakes. Then he might not be afraid to trust her with his.
“This story is about a cop in the city, before she moved to a small town for a year to get herself straightened out.”
She saw him cock his head, the understanding on his face. The surprise.
She leaned back on the bench and stared up into the branches he’d been looking at so attentively.
“She became a cop because she wanted to help people, like her dad and granddad before her. It was a family tradition, and as an only child, she was the only one who could carry it on. But there was a twist to this story.
“Not long after her dad became a cop, her grandfather was arrested. Turned out, he’d been on the mob’s payroll, giving them information.
“Her father was clean, but he spent his whole career making up for the mistake her grandfather had made. This woman has been fighting that same battle.
“She did her job for years and did it well. Then came one particular case.”
She could feel Lanford’s attention focused on her.
“There are some very unpleasant people in this world. People who will hurt others for their own gain and amusement. The police department was after one of those people. He broke the law, but he was very careful. The department was using a lot of resources to build a case against him.
“They found an informant—the wife of the bad guy. He was abusive so she was willing to give information on him and wanted to be extracted when they finally took him down. She went to the same nail salon regularly and would pass over information there.
“Then one night he beat her especially badly. Badly enough that she had to go to the hospital.”
She saw the jerk Lanford gave out of the corner of her eye. The story wasn’t going to get any better.
“This cop met the wife in the hospital. She’d been told by her commanding officer that they almost had the case finished against this woman’s husband. But they needed the wife to go back, get some more information for them.
“The wife was petrified to go home. She was sure that next time, he’d kill her.”
Sarah swallowed. She couldn’t be objective about this. She was pretty sure now that she never would. How was that going to affect her career plans going forward?
“The wife begged the cop to help her escape. The cop had been to quite a few domestic violence calls. She believed the woman.
“She knew the risk she took in helping the victim. Some would suspect she was following in her grandfather’s footsteps. It was a tough call, but she took the woman back to her home to collect her dog. Then the cop took her to a shelter.”
Sarah had taken this year away from the city to try to understand her decision and see if she would have changed it in a similar circumstance. She still hadn’t figured that out. But she knew she’d brought down a lot of suspicion on herself.
“The woman was safe. But the case was blown up. The man fled, and that was that. Months of work, gone.”
Lanford spoke. “You did the right thing.”
The words warmed her, but she continued with her narrative.
“There weren’t any specific consequences for the cop. None of her fellow officers said it was wrong, but there was always the worry that she was dirty. And she was well aware more people would be hurt by this criminal and his victims wouldn’t get justice. Other criminals would be encouraged by the department’s failure.”
Sarah unclenched her hands.
“There was nothing specific, but the cop began to feel unwelcome at get-togethers, ignored at work. She still had friends on the force, but she decided to take a break. She took a posting in a small town for a year.
“She hoped to work things through and see what she might have done differently. To be squeaky clean for a year, and try to look for the big picture.”
She paused.
“How’s that going?”
She shook her head. “I’m not good at removing my feelings. I care about the people I want to help. Everyone tells me I’m not clergy and I’m not social services...so maybe I’m not in the right place. Maybe I’m not really cut out to be a cop.”
Lanford reached out a hand, touched her arm. She turned to him.
“No, I think you’re needed as a cop. I heard a lot of stories while I was in prison. I didn’t have it so bad—the sheriff here wasn’t abusive. He might have been lazy and not worked very hard to find another solution to the arson, but I can’t fault him for that when we haven’t been able to find one, either.
“But other guys, other stories. They could have used someone who would have cared. That’s never a problem.”
Sarah gave him a smile, one a little shaky around the edges.
“Thank you. I appreciate you saying that. Maybe what I need to do is work a little harder for what I believe in. Since I’m a woman, I get the ‘emotional’ label a lot.”
Lanford gripped her arm a little tighter.
“I appreciate the work you’ve done to help me. Even if that’s what’s gotten you into trouble in the past, I’d still say being emotional is a good thing. But it probably isn’t easy.”
Sarah sniffed.
“Yeah, there’s that emotion. Thank you, Lanford. I needed to hear that.”
“From an ex-con?” His voice was wry.
“Maybe especially from an ex-con. We, as cops, are supposed to serve and protect. It doesn’t say we can exclude ex-cons from that. Or anyone.”
There was a moment of silence. It was comfortable. Sarah eased her mind, putting Lanford’s comments into the ment
al file she had as a database for the decisions she had to make this year.
She’d almost forgotten why she’d asked to talk to Lanford when he spoke.
“It was about a girl.”
* * *
Lanford hadn’t meant to share this with Sarah. She already knew so many of the ways he’d messed up.
It was stupid to want to impress her. She was a cop. He had spent eighteen years in prison and might never be able to prove he hadn’t set the fire that took the lives of his dad and brother.
But it was important to him to give her the truth because he liked her, a lot. He liked that she was smart, but also caring. That she’d given him a chance. That she’d risk her own reputation for someone else. She’d tried to help him and never appeared to judge him.
She’d be judging him now.
The only way they were going to find answers, though, was if he was honest. If he wanted to prove that he’d been innocent of the arson and murder charges, he was going to have to confess to what he had been guilty of.
He’d been seventeen. Of course it had been about a girl.
“Allison Kelly was beautiful.”
Sarah reacted. She recognized the name. Lanford continued, determined to push through before he lost his nerve.
“Her family was also poor. There was her and her mother and a couple of younger sisters. We weren’t exactly rich, not like Billy and his family, but I’m pretty sure Allison’s family didn’t always get enough to eat.
“She was Dan’s friend, so I always knew of her, but I was a little late getting into girls. By the time I was paying attention, she was engaged to Billy.
“Everyone assumed she was mostly interested in Billy because of his money. He wasn’t the best-looking or the fittest guy in school, but he had stuff, and he had money, and he was happy to spend it on her.”
Sarah made a movement, and he turned to see her watching him.
“I don’t mean that to sound judgmental. I didn’t blame her, and I don’t think Dan did, either.
“Well, to make this long story short, Billy went off to college, as did Dan. Allison stayed behind, no money for school, and she was still officially dating Billy. But she was bored, I guess.
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