As Liesel drank in the wide open spaces, she felt arms envelop her from behind, and she let her head fall back on her grandmother's shoulder, inhaling her scent deeply. If only she could stay right there, she would be content never to journey again. Sorrow washed over her though, as she realized what grim news she bore. Though it had been seven years since Amala's death, and four since Warin's, she'd not even been able to send a letter to tell her grandparents of the loss of their only child. Turning, she felt her voice break.
"After we arrived, Mother-"
"I know, love. I know." Ilsa stroked Liesel's hair gently. Liesel wondered how she knew, but was immensely grateful that she didn't have to actually say it.
She was slightly aware that Kurt and Johan were deep in some whispered conversation, but she didn't care for the moment. For now, all she wanted to do was to stay in her grandmother's embrace. The moment was short, however, because soon after, Bernd rejoined them. Locking the door behind him, he went and sat at the head of the table. With a sigh, Liesel joined the men, and her grandmother prepared to make tea. As Liesel watched her grandfather search for words, however, she decided to take the reins while she had the chance.
"I want to know what is going on," she said in a low voice. Looking at each of the men in turn, she tried to keep her voice steady. The frustration of being kept in the dark even now was too much. She was done being the last to know what forces were controlling her life. The others looked at one another warily. After an awkward pause, her grandfather finally began,
"If you would tell us-"
"No." Liesel had never interrupted her grandfather before in her life, but she was too angry now to care. Despite her resolve to stay strong, her voice quivered, and tears lingered at the brinks of her eyes. "I want to know what Kurt meant when he said you were one of them. And what Johan meant when he said you were the ones that got away." As her grandparents exchanged pained glances, she softened her voice. "I deserve to know."
"Yes," her grandfather let out a weighty breath. "Yes, you do."
"My father was a baker," Ilsa began as she started serving the tea. As she spoke, the realization suddenly hit Liesel that her grandparents had never spoken of their youth before marrying and traveling the world. "We lived in a small town called Aussehen. It lies just on the outskirts of the woods." The town where they'd purchased the horses. "My father was working in the family shop when they came to us. They needed a new baker, they said. The idea of having his own bakery appealed to my father, so it wasn't long before we were in Ward." She shivered. "I was marked a few days later while I was out gathering firewood." She paused before asking Liesel wistfully, "Did they hurt you too badly?"
"Mother had died just hours before," Liesel said, feeling numb all over again. "I didn't really care." Ilsa put her hand to her mouth, and Kurt looked uncomfortable. It was a moment before Ilsa gathered herself enough to go on.
"I met your grandfather not long after that. He found me stumbling around less than a mile from our cottage one day. A fog had filled the forest, and I was as lost as they get." A faint smile filled Bernd's lips.
"I knew who she was by the mark, and I also knew I wasn't supposed to talk with her. Still, I was already breaking the rules by straying so far from home. I thought I might as well save the pack some time and bring her home while I was at it. It would do them no good to lose her to fog, of all the worthless things."
"But you went back?" Liesel asked.
"I couldn't help myself. She was so full of life...," he broke off for a moment before leveling a stubborn look at Kurt. "You know what it's like there." Kurt only frowned, but to Liesel's surprise, Johan spoke up, his voice a low growl.
"There was just one problem."
"What?" Liesel asked.
"He wasn't pack leader," Ilsa answered. "A few years later, your grandfather came to me the day before the old Pure Blood died, and said that if we ever wanted to escape, it would have to be then, before the pack leader called me." She lowered her eyes and said in a soft voice, "They had already managed to kill my parents. I didn't know what else to do."
"They always kill the parents," Bernd said gruffly, turning the tea cup in his hands. "Whether it's the town or the pack, if the family is there, it doesn't survive for long."
"So you ran and we were forced to take your best friend in your place," Johan interrupted, his eyes brighter than Liesel had ever seen them. Ilsa's own eyes tightened in pain before she closed them and mouthed a quick blessing.
"So do you still turn if Grandmother isn't around?" Liesel tried to picture a time when she was younger that the two were ever far apart.
"No."
"Why not? Kurt said-"
"It doesn't matter how far apart we are if the spell is broken."
"So you did it," Liesel breathed out. Never in her wildest dreams had she considered her grandparents would know the answer because they had been the ones to break it.
"How?" Kurt spoke for the first time. Her grandfather have him a hard look
"We got as far from the woods as we could go, but even that wasn't enough. I had to find peace with my new place in life."
"How long?" Kurt's voice was tight.
"A lot longer than thirty days," Bernd answered. He leaned in towards Kurt. "Because no matter what happens or where you go, deep down you know you'll always be an animal." Without another word, he stood up and went outside, slamming the door on the way out.
"Bernd." Her grandmother was quick to follow. No one else at the table spoke, but Liesel suddenly felt as though she might pass out. How she had gotten roped into the same tangled mess her grandparents had left behind was beyond her. Of all the girls in the world, the pack had found her...by accident. It was obvious from Kurt and Johan's initial looks of shock that they hadn't been expecting to find the infamous couple on their quest.
Standing up, Liesel woodenly excused herself. She slowly walked down the hall to her old room. As she pushed the door open, a wave of sadness drenched her in memories. This had also been her mother's room when she was a girl.
Her grandparents had an unusually large house, thanks to their thriving vineyard. Most families in and around Weit had only one room homes, as Liesel and her father had shared back in Ward. To have enough rooms for the children to sleep alone was nearly unheard of outside of noble and royal circles. The room was small, but large enough for a raised bed, as opposed to a pallet, as well as a nightstand, wash basin, and mirror. The smell nearly made her cry. It smelled just as her mother always had, of dried chamomile blossoms. And nearly everything was red. The doll on the shelf wore a red shawl the same color as Liesel's cloak. The blanket on the bed, the window coverings, even the braided rug was red. Liesel didn't have time to linger on past remembrances, however, when she realized that her grandparents were talking just outside her window. Thankfully, the window coverings were still drawn, so Liesel was able to simply listen in. A part of her knew it was rude to listen in, but the rest of her was too frustrated to care.
"-just finished mourning," her grandfather moaned.
"Liesel is alive," her grandmother said gently. "There's no need to mourn that."
"And we're just going to lose her again!" Anger filled his voice this time. "This is the Maker's way of punishing us. We could have gone back, Ilsa! He's angry with us!"
"What if this isn't punishment? What if this is a chance to make things right?"
"That boy will never learn in time. They can't have more than twenty-five days left! No, she'll have to stay here. We can't let her go back."
"Have you seen the way she looks at him?" her grandmother asked gently.
"She's young," her grandfather scoffed. "She just thinks she loves him."
"We were younger than they are," her grandmother sounded doubtful. "If Liesel is determined to stay with him, I doubt we'll be able to do much about it, short of tying her up in her sleep." Ilsa paused, her confident tone slipping. "Can't we at least try to enjoy this evening with our granddaughter? We can d
iscuss this later." Bernd began to respond, but Liesel realized they were walking back toward the front door. Bolting up from the bed, Liesel darted back out to the table, nearly tripping on a stool leg. Her grandparents didn't seem to notice though as they walked back in. Bernd stopped at the door and folded his arms, his white bearded mouth setting in a stubborn line Liesel knew well. He had worn the look often when Warin was around.
"Since you're here with an escort, I can only guess you hold the wizard's blood in your veins?" he glared at Kurt. Kurt simply nodded. "So what's your interest in all of this? Why do you care enough to bring her back here?" Kurt's lip curved in a near sneer as if he'd been insulted.
"You should know as well as anyone. This existence is Hell on earth." Bernd sent an unhappy glance to his wife, who nodded once.
"I'm going to help you, but you need to swear to me that you will live by my rules. That means, first of all, that you will sleeping in the barn, where it's proper."
"Grandfather-" Liesel tried to interject, but Bernd just held up his hand for silence.
"Also, you will be learning how to fight." When disbelief flashed across Kurt's face, Bernd said, "You asked how I found peace. It was while studying the staff. I learned to quiet my mind in the movement. If you want me to teach you, this is the only way I know how. So, do we have a deal?" Kurt looked at Johan, who gave a reluctant nod.
"Don't suppose I have a choice," he muttered before agreeing.
"Good. We start now. Johan, I'll need you to help me if he turns again." After the men finally left the room together, it was only Liesel and her grandmother. Ilsa took Liesel's hands in her own and kissed them. Tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks as she reached out and stroked Liesel's face.
"You're so beautiful, so like your mother," she whispered as sobs began to shake her body. "I never thought I'd see you again." Liesel felt her own breath catch as they embraced tightly. Ilsa let out a shaky laugh. "I suppose I should have known you'd find a way back though. You were always such a determined little thing."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Liesel pulled back and searched her grandmother's face.
"Believe me, love, I tried so hard. But the magic wouldn't let me." She sniffed. "We've escaped every part but that. No matter how hard I tried, it just wouldn't let me speak. I knew though! I knew the moment I saw your father speaking to that pale man before you left. He thought he had a secret, but I knew. I just didn't think he would leave so soon though. I thought I would get at least another day or so."
Quiet settled over them. So many times, Liesel had imagined telling her grandmother about all that had happened while she was gone. For years, she had longed to tell Ilsa how she had saved up the money to ride on a grain wagon, and about how she had found a home in Tag. But the details, the pieces of her life that had once seemed so important were suddenly mundane, useless. Because now she was here, trapped in a web far stickier than she could have imagined even a few hours before.
Things got a bit livelier when it was time to begin supper. Liesel enjoyed helping her grandmother in the kitchen, and Kurt and Johan were happy to see the food. Whatever they had been doing, it had plastered them with mud, sweat, and grass, and with a laugh, Ilsa ordered them all out to the well to wash up.
It wasn't long before Ilsa's gentle nature had her guests at ease as she told silly stories about Liesel's childhood antics. Even Johan smiled a few times. The only one who seemed aloof to the merriment was Liesel's grandfather. He wore a pained, contemplative look the whole evening, and it bothered Liesel.
As she lay in her little bed that night, Liesel breathed in the familiar scent of her surroundings and tried to soak it up. She prayed to the Maker that it would be better after this. She tried to think of ways to help Kurt find the peace her grandfather said he needed to break the spell, but she was too weary. Her grandfather's threat to keep her from returning with Kurt, the difficulty of the task at hand, and the sheer weariness of the journey held Liesel's thoughts captive. The future was difficult to imagine without giving into worry or tears. For this one night, Liesel decided, she would just stay in the here and now. Because for now, all the people she loved were near. And that was more than she thought she'd ever get, after all.
17. FAIR
"Liesel, get back inside!" her grandfather ordered as he tossed a staff to Kurt. Liesel frowned, but stood and did as she was told. Of all the changes returning home had entailed, being treated as though she was still thirteen was most irksome. Seven years had held unimaginable change for Liesel, but apparently, her grandfather was determined not to see it. At least, he had chosen to ignore it in the two whole weeks they had been at the vineyard.
"He's terrified of losing you, you know." Ilsa said without looking up as Liesel walked inside. She was cutting potatoes at the table. "He's trying desperately to find a way to keep you here." Still annoyed, Liesel picked up a knife and joined her grandmother in chopping vegetables.
"What happened to his leg?" She changed the subject. It was a subject she had wanted to bring up since they'd arrived, but her grandfather seemed determined not to discuss it. Every time Liesel asked him, his brows would furrow, some sort of undone chore would suddenly be remembered, and Bernd would shuffle off in a stony silence. Eventually, she had given up on asking him. Even now, her grandmother took a lengthy pause before answering.
Ilsa hadn't aged much since Liesel had gone. She was still a very handsome woman. There was more gray in her yellow hair, and she had run more slowly to Liesel through the yard than the last time she'd chased them in their cart. She still held herself straight and proud as she stood at the table though. Her long thin face was just as Liesel remembered it, perhaps with just a few more wrinkles at the corners of the eyes and mouth. That mouth was now turned down as it spoke.
"He was trying to save you." Liesel nearly dropped the knife, but her grandmother went on. "As soon as he arrived home the next day from that hunting trip, and I told him where your father had taken you, he immediately found his horse and made the chase. Didn't take food or water, the old fool. He wore his horse out on the way and nearly lost him to exhaustion. By the time he arrived at the forest's edge, several people from Ward were waiting in case someone decided to follow you in. When they discovered his intent, they refused to let him pass. He fought hard, but he was tired, and they chased him back to the main road. He always swore he should have gone through the forest after that, but his ankle was broken in the fight, and it was all he could do to return home." Liesel tried to swallow the lump in her throat. To think he had been that close when her mother had died. Her gaze shifted out the window where the men were training.
Despite his bad ankle, her grandfather used the staff as though it were a part of him. He whirled it around his body so fast that it was nearly invisible. Johan hovered in his animal form, ready to intervene in case things got out of hand. Bernd was instructing Kurt on how to move his own staff, directing Johan to feint one way and then another. Again and again they practiced.
"Is this how Kurt is supposed to find peace?" Liesel doubtfully asked. Every day, they practiced, and every day the whole lot of them came in dirty and out of sorts. Her grandmother gave a dry laugh.
"Your grandfather finds staff work relaxing. He trained with one of the masters during the years we lived in the east in Toku. That's actually how he broke the spell. He says there is something in the movements that helps him focus and put life into perspective. Nothing magic, of course. It just helps him think." She shook her head at the window. "I can't see how anything so demanding can relax him so, but it does. It may not seem like it, but he's doing the best he knows how to help Kurt."
Liesel wasn't so sure the staff practice was relaxing Kurt the way her grandfather had hoped. Sweat poured down the young man's face and neck, and made his thin work shirt stick to his chest and back. Liesel didn't know she was staring until her grandmother laughed at her. Her cheeks warmed with embarrassment as she realized she'd been caught gawking.
It
was just so hard to believe he was the same boy she'd left behind. As a boy, his arms hadn't been so defined, nor had his back held such a fine arch. She had seen the sharp angles of his face and the steady set of his jaw countless times in the last two weeks, but she still couldn't get used to them. As foolish as it seemed, Liesel actually felt a bit in awe of him. She knew he was the same person, and yet, he sometimes just felt like a stranger in a way that made her feel ridiculously young and shy.
"It might surprise you what two people in love can accomplish." Liesel turned away from the window. In the weeks since they'd arrived, she'd avoided this topic. Her grandfather certainly hadn't been in the mood to listen. He had made sure to send scowls Kurt's way whenever possible.
"It's not fair."
"What's not fair?" Liesel forced herself to look straight at her grandmother.
"What if Grandfather is right, and we can't break the spell?" Ilsa stared back at her sadly. Liesel turned back to the window. "I can't let those people die. I can't let them lose it all. So many lives...and they all depend on me, whether I want them to or not." She shook her head. "How can the Maker give me such a choice? I don't want it. I don't want this choice to be mine." Ilsa sighed and put down her sewing.
"Sometimes the responsibility of doing what's right isn't idyllic like in the stories, Leese. It is given to us without pomp or glory. And we are the ones who have to make the choice of doing what is right, or doing what is easy." Nothing more was said until the potatoes had all been sliced and they were both seated with needlework in their laps.
"Your grandfather and I have had a wonderful life," Ilsa said quietly, "but never going back to tell them we'd found the way...that was the decision we made. And we've had to carry that burden all these years. We always will. That's one reason your grandfather is taking this so hard. If we had gone back and risked our happiness to show them the way out, you probably wouldn't be in this mess. Now you are paying for our wrong. So no, it isn't fair. But," she nodded at Kurt. "It seems the good Maker has deemed it fit that you should have a partner, that you won't be doing this alone."
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