The Life She Wished For (Birds of Paradise Book 2)

by ChaShiree M.

  I have a moment of guilt about attempting to have fun with all that was going. A moment of doubt with Mikhail on my mind, but what better way to forget about him than to have some fun with someone else? Humph…that’ll show him. With that thought in my mind, I say…

  “Absolutely. Invite Jasper.”

  “Ooh Wee…we going to get your cooch cooch a massage yet, honey.” I can’t help but roll my eyes and hide my smirk at the same time. Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.

  I spend the whole morning and afternoon studying for my finals. I don’t know why I am so nervous about it. I know the material and Celeste is right, I am getting A’s in all my classes. I guess it’s more of not wanting to disappoint my brothers and sisters who work hard to help me pay for my education so that I don’t have to work or take out loans, and I owe it to them to do the best I can. When I finally look up, it is five ‘o’clock and I know I have studied enough. I fix myself something to eat, make sure to wash the dishes so Q won’t have to clean up after me when she comes home from work.

  Standing in her kitchen, I can’t help but smile as I look around. This apartment is so beautiful, and it totally reminds me of Q. She is this beautiful exotic looking creature. She is warm and full of life. She is generous and patient. She also has a fierce streak. For all her soft features, I have also seen her become a vicious wolf ready to attack anyone who she thinks is trying to harm those she loves. She saved me a few times whether she knew it or not when we were younger. I often wonder though why she has never dated, or least found someone she loved enough to introduce them to her family. Are we all so messed up that besides Fae, we are all destined to be alone? I would like to think we have all been carving out a life that we can have and build and not be beholden to the past. But…I’m not so sure. However, in this space that I sometimes occupy with Q, I feel safe and like I have a home.

  The living room which is my favorite place in here is filled with warm neutrals like tans and olive greens. Every surface has an accent that brings the space to life. But the best part is that the living room has a nook. I call it the library annex. It is not a library parse, but, it has a few shelves that house books on it. But the part I like is that there is a cutout that opens into a ledge that sits right by the window. Q must have realized the potential of this space too because stacked on that ledge, are pillows, blankets and a place to put a mug of a nice hot drink. When I am here staying with her, that is usually where she finds me. I sit in that space and look out at the world and wonder… if and it is exactly what I want to be doing right now, but I need to call Fae and make sure she is ok and doesn’t need anything before I go out, and then I need to get on with my night. Because no matter what, I am going to go out and have fun. I do however, call Celeste and tell her that I will just meet her at the club. I just don’t feel like being around anyone right now, that isn’t family. I will save that for tonight. First, I should call and find out if we know anything about Kea. I pull out my phone and call Q.

  “Q. Have we heard anything yet?”

  “Actually, I was getting ready to call you. I don’t know much, but what I do know is that Leif got a call about an hour ago. According to the caller on the other end, they had info about Kea. He didn’t tell me anything else. What I did manage to gauge was that they had a meeting setup for tonight and that was it.”

  “Tonight. Shit. What time? Where? Wait. I must call Celeste and tell her I’m not going out tonight. We need to be there when she gets home.”

  “Phe, slow down. There is no way they will let us come and…hold on… did you say go out? Holy Shit! Who the hell convinced ‘Mary the nun’ to go out? Oh no. You will not back out of this. You will go out and try to have fun. Let your hair down and act your age. If anything happens I will call you, I promise. Do you need me to help you find something to wear? Do your makeup? Anything?”

  “Geesh Q. I am not that helpless. Are you sure I should go? I feel guilty with everything that is going on.”

  “Hells yea. If you don’t go and get the web infested vajayjay stiffened out, I’m going to hire an escort myself. Got it?”

  “Ewww…that’s gross. Point taken. Call me as soon as you know anything. Even the smallest info. Ok?”

  “I gotcha bug. Have fun, be safe, and check in a few times. I love you.”

  “I will, you bet, ok, and I love you too.”

  After that conversation the rest of the night flew by. I talked to Fae and she is fine, so I do not need to go to her house. The next thing I know, I am out the door and, in my car, driving towards my apt. I keep looking in my mirror for the SUV I spotted the other day. I swear it was following me, which of course freaks me out but tonight, nothing. Who knows? It might be my overactive imagination. But either way, I am determined to have a great time.

  Luckily for me; even with nowhere to go, my sisters are still chronic shoppers. As a result, I have more than enough clothes to wear out to a club. I choose a pair of black skinny jeans that I love because they make my booty a little rounder while cinching in my hips. The top is silver and strapless with a cutout pattern that flows down the length of my back to below my waistline. I enhance the front with a black necklace. I grab my red bottom heels with the Swarovski gemmed bows, slide my feet in. I look in the full-length mirror and I must admit to myself that I look mature and smoking hot. There is just something about a great pair of shoes, you know. I apply some mascara, a little blush, run my brush through my hair, and I’m out.

  Walking out the front door I notice that same SUV across the street confirming that it wasn’t my imagination, but this time there is a man standing on the outside of it. He is looking at me and talking on the phone. My first instinct is to turn back, run, and call my brothers. But somehow, I don’t think he is here to hurt me. I know he is watching me, but he could very well be one of Ren’s. And in that case, I feel safe. So, I wave and keep walking.

  The drive to Club SIN is drama less and getting in is even easier. Hmm…I must look hotter than I guessed. I spot Celeste immediately and walk over.

  “Holy fuck sauce, Phe Phe. You look as hot as a cowboy in Wranglers. Wow. You have been hiding all of that for what reason again?”

  I smile without answering because I honestly don’t know. I feel great right now and her reaction just made it better.

  “Phoenix. I’m glad you actually came.” I hear and feel a hand on my shoulder.

  Turning to look at Jasper, I must admit liking the look in his eyes. He leans over to kiss me on the cheek.

  “When Celeste told me you might be here, I hoped, but I didn’t believe her. Wow. You look beautiful. I mean…there are no words.”.

  It feels good having a man notice me, but I don’t feel any of the feelings I did with Mikhail, and… no Phoenix stop it. You will not do that to yourself. This is a chance for you to enjoy yourself and start over. It will never happen with you comparing everyone to him.

  Straightening myself with the reprimand, I resolve to have a stress-free night; and not think of Mikhail once. I see everyone has a drink; and as I debate whether I want one myself, Jasper offers to get me one. Technically, I am underage. But they didn’t even card me coming in, so it’s a pretty good guess they don’t care either way. Decision made.

  “Yea. Uh…uhm…I’ll have aaaaaaa…” OMG this is so embarrassing. I can’t even name one drink. Further proof that I have been too sheltered and need to get out more. Oh, I know. I watched one episode of Sex and the City with my sisters and the ladies went out to a club and, what did they have…it was pink…right?

  “I will take a cosmopolitan.”

  Look at me ordering a drink. I feel grown up already. Jasper walks away to go get my drink. I turn to talk to Celeste, who has been conspicuously close by with her boyfriend Ron.

  She looks happy with him, and I truly envy her. She gets to live her life carefree, the way she wants, and she has love. Screaming over the music, I attempt to engage in conversation. After being here 15 minutes, I’m not entire
ly sure my hearing will be intact in a couple of more minutes.

  “So, Ron. Celeste tells me you are looking to move to Boston at the end of the term. Aren’t there any good medical schools here?”

  He looks at Celeste with amusement before answering, “For sure. But, the one I am going to my family has worked at for generations. I will get a fellowship quicker and have more clout. I thought about staying here, but the cost would be astronomical, and I don’t want to pay when I don’t have to. Celeste is freaking out when I’m not around, even though she is acting like she is fine with it when I am around. I told her as soon as she is done here I am marrying her and that is that. So, she has no need to worry.”

  I see the tears forming in her eyes and her cheeks turn pink. When she turns away from me to look at him, I can’t help the tears in my own. To have someone love you so much they are willing to wait for you even though they know it will be years before you get to be together again. I want that. I want that all-consuming love. I want… nope. You are not doing this tonight. Take your drink, chug it, and go dance with Jasper.

  Jasper returns with my drink. It looks girly and smells fruity, and strong. Crap. How do people do this every night? Oh well, time to get brave. With those final words, I chug.

  “Whoa. Slowdown slugger. It’s not Kool-Aid, you know.” Jasper says to me. I look at him a little sheepishly and smile. Before I respond and further embarrass myself, my jam comes on. Nothing like a little buzz and Christina Aguilera’s “Dirty” to get your blood pumping.

  “You want to go dance with me Jasper?”

  “Of course. But are you ok? You took that drink to the head.”

  “I’m great. Better than I have been in a while. Come on let’s dance.”

  We get to the dance floor and I just let the music take me. It helps that this is me and my sisters jam. It used to be on any given Friday night once we escaped and were all living together in the house my brothers bought for all of us to stay in, you could find us all perusing the TV trying to learn things and acclimate. The one thing we fell in love with was music videos. Christina Aguilera certainly became a favorite and anytime we found a favorite artist, we would make our brother buy the CD and we would have Friday night dance parties. Let’s just say this song was on repeat a lot.

  Right here and now in this club, I want to get dirty, sweaty, and maybe even kissed tonight. I swing my hips and rub my ass against him while rocking to the beat. I forget everything going on and just be the new me for a while. When he leans his head into my neck, I lift my hair to tease him and slowly grind myself on him. I didn’t even know I knew how to grind. Hmph…must be that month long straight marathon of MTV rap videos I watched when we first got to civilization.

  I turn my neck with my eyes closed and continue to move. I almost falter when he slowly starts to rub up and down my side, slightly moving his hands under my shirt when I hear him whisper “I have wanted to kiss you for months.” I lean back slightly into him, feeling the music and the adrenaline pumping through me and say, “Then kiss me.” Uh oh. Did I say that? Is this what a Cosmo does to a girl? I don’t even recognize myself right now. I am aware that I am still feeling nothing with him, but I am determined to try. I mean who knows? Maybe when we kiss I will feel it. It could happen. Right?

  As I turn my body and lean in, it takes me a second to realize he is no longer holding me. Really opening my eyes, I gaze to my left, the crowd has parted and Jasper is in the air being held by his throat. I know this should be the thing that shocks a person; and don’t get me wrong, it does. But what shocks me even more is who is holding him.

  “MIKHAIL! What…I mean, put my date down right this instant.”

  Are you fucking serious!

  I thought God had finally gone easy on me. The past three months all Phoenix has done is go to school, go to the center, and hang with her family. Because of her routine, I was able to take care of my business to get back to her without much angst other than the sexual kind. A feeling of being relaxed and anxious came over me as the time neared when I would have her in my arms and under me.

  Not a night has gone by since I had the taste of her tongue in my mouth that I haven’t felt the need to rub one out. But, I stop myself. The first time anything touches my dick it will be her beautiful pink pussy as it spreads itself for me. So, I have suffered, and I have waited. The only good thing is the frustration has made me more aggressive in dealing with my company; and the other mess in my life.

  I woke up this morning in a great mood. I decided it is time to go and get my girl. Tonight, she is going to find out how much she belongs to me. I won’t let anything, or anyone get in the way of my claiming her.

  My men have seen three sets of men following her and her sisters. At first, I was on edge because I didn’t know if she was in danger or what. After a little digging, I discovered one set of men works for her brothers and the other set for her brother-in-law. It did not put me at ease. The need for extra protection raises my protective instincts. The last set of men don’t appear to have any credentials, and that spells trouble. I need to get her under my roof and in my protection. NOW! The saving grace in all of this is that my girl doesn’t go anywhere or do anything outside of her routine. So, I thought.

  So, imagine my surprise when I get a call from my men telling me that my innocent little redhead is dressed anything but innocently; and leaving the house after dark.

  “Vultan, I swear you better stay with her even after she arrives at her destination. Do not let her out of your sight. I am on my way. If anyone gets close enough to touch her, stop them by any means necessary! Isolate her until I get there. Do you FUCKING understand?”

  “Of course, Mik. Calm down. We got it.”

  Calm down! Did this motherfucker just tell me to calm down? How am I supposed to calm down? I can feel everything I have been working on slipping through my fingers. Didn’t she hear me when I whispered to her to wait for me and I would be coming back?

  Seriously Mikhail, she didn’t know you. For all she knew you say that to all the women you want to fuck. Great! Now I’m talking to and answering myself.

  This girl.

  I can’t stop thinking about all I stand to lose. It’s wrapped up in a tiny voluptuous package. If I get to this club and someone is touching her, the night will go FUBAR fast.

  Imagine my ire when I walk in and see the twins closing in on her. Their formation tells me that something is going on. I immediately flank the middle and spot my mouse. She is dancing with some fool who doesn’t know he is not long for this world. As angry as I am, I am hard as fuck.

  She looks like a Goddess on the dance floor. The way she is moving is in total contrast with the girl who lacked confidence when we met. What the fuck happened in the past three months that brought this change? Don’t get me wrong, I like it. But I am going to have to give her lessons on what’s acceptable in public versus behind closed doors.

  Shit.

  The need to adjust my dick is so vital right now that if I exhale too hard it will pop the fucking zipper. My boy knows his woman is in the room and his heaven is under her pants. He wants in that now. Calm down boy. Tonight, we’ll see how good she bounces on my pole.

  I reach her at the same time as the twins. I hold my hand up to let them know I got this. I tap the dead motherfucker on the shoulder to give him a chance to continue breathing. He looks at me and signals for me to get lost. Well, can’t say I didn’t try. Grabbing him by the neck I raise him in the air. Nothing else around me matters. The only thing I hear is her saying my name and telling me to put her date down. Wrong word, sweetheart.

  “Myshka, who is this corpse to you? Think carefully about what you say mouse, especially if you want to see him alive.”

  “Mikhail! Stop it. What are you doing here? Put Jasper down right this minute!”

  “Myshka, answer the question.” I know she is innocent, but I am hanging by a very small thread. She needs to extinguish this fire now before I break his neck
with a flick of my wrist.

  “He’s turning blue, love. If you want your, whatever, to survive the night; tell me who he is to you.”

  “Alright! Not that this is any of your business. He is a friend from school. We came here with a group of friends. Now put him down, Mikhail! Come on, he can’t breathe!” She says to me while trying to claw my arms down from his neck. It is only by sheer touch that I begin to calm down. The fact that she is touching me is enough to soothe the savage beast inside of me…for a moment.

  As I lower him, I look him in the eye. “You are not to look at her, touch her, pass her a note, think about her, or breathe her name. If you do, I will find out, and your life will end. Do you understand me?”

  He nods his head and I drop him to the ground. He starts heaving trying to catch his breath. Bitch boy is coughing and wheezing right now. Ask me if I give a fuck. He finally scrambles to his feet and she peeks at me over her shoulder, giving me the evil eye before she turns to leave with him.

  Is she bent? Where the fuck does she think she’s going?

  Before she knows what’s happening, I throw her over my shoulder causing her to kick and wail.

  “Stop that, Kotenok. You are making a scene.” I swat her on the ass hoping to make my point as we make our way to the back office for some privacy.

  “Did you just spank me you lying son-of-a-bitch? Put me down right now! My brothers are going to kill you. They are probably on their way here now. Mikhail, put me down! Why are you doing this?”

  Fuck! She is probably right about her brothers. Shit! I forgot about their guards in all the frenzy.

  “Vuolo, the guards. If her brothers show up, do not let them in. Give them my card and tell them to meet at my home office tomorrow at 9am if they want to talk.”