by ChaShiree M.
As he is talking to me, his hands are slowly unbuttoning the shirt I have on. I want to lash out and strike him, fight him or something. But my hands are tied behind my back and anchored to a chair, so once again I am helpless and defenseless. I haven’t said anything to him yet, because I am not altogether sure that once I begin using my voice, I won’t cry instead of saying something worthwhile to him. In a point in my life when I should be stronger, a few minutes in his presence and I am back to be that helpless little girl again.
“Wake up little bird. Come on wake up. Look at uncle Olaf.”
Opening my eyes, he is standing over me in my bedroom. I start and go to get up, but he put his knee in my chest. Frantically I look around trying to gauge if anyone is even in the house, but I should have known better. If my sisters were anywhere in this house, he wouldn’t be in here with me, which means when I fell asleep they went outside, and he snuck in.
“Ah there we go little Phoenix. Let me look at you. Look at how pretty you look in your nightdress. Were you dreaming about me? Did you dream about me coming to see you and sharing some of our special time together? Huh little bird?”
I open my mouth to scream. I mean my sisters can’t have gone far, but before I can get a sound out he stuffs something in it.
“Ah ah ah. Can’t have you cutting our special time short can we. Now let me see how pretty you look under that nightdress. What do your panties look like under there? Do they have hearts on them, or little animals?”
My squirming means nothing to him. Not even the fact that I am struggling against him. But the knee he has on my chest is cutting off some of the breath and making fighting back virtually impossible. His slimy hands are rubbing up my thigh inching toward my private area and I scream as loud as I can through the fabric he has in my mouth. My cries are muffled and can’t be heard but I feel that somehow if I continue to fight, maybe this won’t be my fault. He is visibly shaking as he pushes my gown further up my body, I am assuming it is from the arousal he is feeling, but I don’t know. He has violated me in one way or another for a couple of years now, but today, he seems to be determined to go further than before. As his fingers encounter my private area, I scream even louder as futile as it is.
“Dry as the Arizona desert. I knew you would be a frigid little bitch. That’s ok. I will make you like this eventually.”
Those words cause more fear to strike in me. I don’t want to like this. I know this is wrong and shouldn’t be happening, but I cannot ever bring myself to tell anyone. I feel like it is something I bought on myself and fear, because I don’t think my dad would believe me. But one thing for sure, I don’t want my body to like this. Nothing about it feels good and when it happens, I feel like my body isn’t my own. It makes it easier to deal with if I can pretend I am somewhere else and not here, in this space, being a victim. I imagine I’m at a beach, or at an amusement park or even boarding school. Anywhere but here.
As usual he unzips his pants and uses one hand to fondle me and the other to fondle himself. Only this time ends differently, before he can finish and reach his happy place’ as he calls it, my sisters enter the house and he goes out the window. I scramble to right my clothes and catch my breath and of course, I tell no one. But it always ends the same, I run to the shower and stay in it for hours.
“Where did you go little Phoenix?” Oh God, remembering that just brings it all back. I start jumping in the chair trying to get away and then finally it hits me, I have another life to think about now. I cannot sit and rollover for him anymore. I must fight. If not for me, then for my unborn child.
“Those tits, little Phoenix have been the stuff of my dreams. Let’s see if they look like I pictured.”
“Don’t touch me, you’re a sick bastard. I am not a little girl anymore. I won’t just lie there and cry. You keep your fucking hands off me. You come near me and I will bite your fucking hand off.” I cannot stop the wheezing from escaping my chest. I don’t have asthma, but I assume the fear and anger have turned into some sort of adrenaline smoke that is now making its way out of me and it sounds like a whistle.
“Let’s see you bite me when I choke the shit out of you bitch.” He makes to come toward me and I prepare myself to fight him when I hear, “ENOUGH!” Startled, I look up and in walks my father. The fear I felt then is nothing to what I feel now. My father is evil incarnate.
“Phoenix. You look well.”
“Dad.”
“Do you know why you are here?”
“Yes. You want to punish all of us for leaving and running away. Are you going to kill me now?” he lets out a sinister laugh, one I have heard before. Usually before he did something that hurt or scared one of us or our moms.
“Kill you. No. If I was going to kill you, I wouldn’t have sent Olaf to get you. No, my child, you are worth more to me alive than dead. Now that I have you, I can fetch a fair price for you back home. You would have been worth more had you not allowed yourself to be sullied, but oh well, you’re young and fertile. You’re still valuable. Just like your sisters.”
“Wait, sell me. To who? No wait I don’t care to who. Why? Why are you doing this. I’m your daughter. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Of course, it does. Don’t be ridiculous. All girls are important. You bring life into the world. You bear the next generation of leaders that will take over my legacy. That is why I sent Olaf to groom you all those years ago. I needed you to be ready for the life you were destined for. I must admit he is a bit more overzealous about it than I thought, but I knew he had his eye on you and thought he would be the perfect trainer.”
Oh. My. God. Am I hearing him, right? He set Olaf loose on me? The fear I was feeling a minute ago, has turned into pure rage. My mind immediately goes to the little life I am harboring inside my womb and I cannot imagine allowing such a vile, sick thing to be done to him or her. For all his faults, Mikhail would never do such a thing either and suddenly I cannot contain myself.
“You did this to me deliberately. You let this monster molest me, for your own personal sick agenda. What kind of father are you? You are sicker than him. I hate your sick piece of shit. I hope when the boys find you, they cut out that hollow organ in your chest you call a heart and stomp on it. I hate you. Do you hear me? I HATE YOU.”
I scream this over and over for I don’t know how long, long after they have walked out of the room. I have never hyperventilated before, but I imagine the suffocating feelings, followed by dizziness, and a sudden need to pass out might be what is happening. I don’t know what to do except to try and breath deep, in and out.
My mind is racing over any and everything my brothers have told us. Rules they made us follow, defensive moves they made us learn, anything that would… yes…I forgot. My phone is in my back pocket. Brax put a GPS locator on it for if they ever cannot find us. The rule is that no matter what, unless we were in bed asleep, our phones should never leave our person. Not in a purse or bag but in a pocket. Which basically means my sisters and I never buy a pair of pants without a pocket.
Well for once I am glad I listened. I know they are on their way. And I feel sorry for Olaf when they find him.
Fuck. I hate that I must be here right now dealing with this shit instead of at home with Phoenix. Something happened to her back at the Opera and though she hasn’t said anything to me about it, she hasn’t been herself since we left. I know she has been feeling ill. She vomited a few times before we made it home and slept most of the way, but I hate the way she has shut me out. It’s ok because once I leave here, from meeting with the twins about the progress of these two situations, I am going home and one way or another, my beloved is going to tell me what happened.
“So, boys, tell me you have made some progress.”
“We can’t seem to find Elizaveta. She hasn’t been back to her father’s compound in a few days. I have some guys checking on the many men she entertains to see if she is with one of them. As soon as we know, you’ll know…
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Bzzz bzzzzz
What the fuck is that…oh shit… “We have to go…the panic button on my house has been set off. Phoenix is there.”
I don’t wait another minute before dashing out the door. I don’t bother to look behind me because I know they will follow. The ride to the house seems to take an eternity. I pull into the driveway and notice the door slightly ajar. My heart jumps into my throat. If something has happened to her, I don’t know what I will do.
I expect the worst when I walk in, but I certainly didn’t expect her pregnant best friend to be dead on my living room floor, with no sign of Phoenix anywhere. I vaguely recall the twins coming into the room, but I am frantically running through the house calling her name, hoping beyond hope she is still here.
I finally go to the panic room and when I press the button it doesn’t open. This is not supposed to happen. I know without a doubt someone hacked my system and that is why she and Celeste didn’t get away.
“Vuolo, Vultan, I have been infiltrated. My panic room has been disabled. Who the hell can do this?”
“Mikhail, the way the design was made is only you and or someone from the IT design side can disable the room. That is only with a very explicit code and only as a fail safe.” Running that information through my head, I almost ask a question, when I hear someone calling out from the front door.
“Hello Special Delivery for a Maksim Mikhailov.” I am not expecting a fucking delivery. Like me, the twins are on alert. We each walk to the front slowly, guns drawn ready for anything, or so I thought.
“Delivery from who?”
“Uh..man please don’t shoot me. I’m just a messenger. Look I will walk out just the way I came, and no one will know ok.”
He is just a fucking kid and maybe some other time I would have given a shit, but right now, I don’t. “I said delivery from who?”
“Phoenix. That’s all it said.”
Phoenix. I am stunned and don’t know what to think. “Leave it and go.”
He drops a small little box with a card attached to some balloons that say “Congratulations!” and runs out the house.
Bending over I pick up the package and ever so slowly open it to find little baby booties inside. My throat is no longer functioning because the emotion that is constricting it, is so thick and fraught with all the things I cannot convey. I simply open the letter knowing already my life has changed.
My Dearest Mikhail,
Congratulations!!! You’re going to be a Daddy. I know I should have told you a few days ago when I found out, but you have given me so much by way of love, laughter, security, and a home. In this, I wanted to do something special for you when I told you. I am so happy, and I hope you are too. I love you so much and I want nothing more than to have your babies and make a life with you. I know this wasn’t extravagant or anything, but it is from the heart. The heart you now own.
I love you.
Always,
Your Phoenix
On my knees I do something I haven’t done since my parents were killed. I weep. I cry for everything I had in my hands, that now feels lost to me. I am…lost…a baby…my woman and my unborn baby are out there somewhere and I don’t know where.
“Mikhail. We are so sorry.”
“FUCK SORRY. FIND HER. FIND PHOENIX. FIND MY BABY…” I can’t stop sobbing long enough to put together a coherent thought. I can’t lose her. Not now when we were so close to having everything we both wanted.
Pull yourself together. You must find your woman and child and don’t have time to be a pussy. I take a few deep breaths, even though I am not sure they make it into my lungs. Phoenix is the literal air I breathe and without her, I have no way of keeping myself alive. Everything looks dark and bleak. She is the light. My voice hoarse with unspoken anguish manages to squeak out the words,
“Activate the throne.” With those words, I have unleashed hell into this city. And it won’t be reined in until she is found.
The meeting I had with her brothers and the other guys after the dinner, resulted in an interconnected security setup allowing all of us to pop into each other’s systems, and sets up a schedule for how we rotate out the guys to watch the girls. This keeps all the men we employ accountable, allows for us to keep tabs on any rogues, and is easier to track the women when they are out and about.
As I expect, within 20 minutes of the throne being activated, her brothers, Ren, and Colton descend upon my house.
“What the fuck Mikhail. We thought you had her guarded.” Her brother Lief says. As if I need to feel anymore guilty than I do.
“She was home. The alarm was set. She was perfectly safe.” I say.
“Obviously not.” Fucking Ren.
We spend the next 20 minutes going over what we know and the game plan. Braxton turns the activation on her phone and realizes it has been disabled.
“Who the fuck keeps thwarting us. Someone on the inside of one of our camps is involved in this.” He demands with a rough and growly voice.
“No shit Sherlock. But we don’t have time to deal with that right now. We have to get my sister back first.”
I have had enough of their pompous shit. That is my woman they took. “I fucking know that APOLLO. Do you think I am not feeling the panic right now? I fucking NEED HER. Do you understand? I know what is at stake, because if she dies I die too. So please stop treating me like I am not dying inside ok. My fucking woman is out there somewhere, dealing with god knows what and I DON’T KNOW WHERE SHE IS!!!!!!”
“Mikhail…calm down…come back…” I look up, then around the room, and notice everyone looking to the side of me. I turn to look and see a big ass hole in my wall. That is when I register the pain radiating through my arm and figure I must have blacked out and started punching the wall.
Jairo comes back into the room with a first aid kit and starts bandaging my hand up. “Man look, Apollo didn’t mean anything by that. We have spent years being the ones responsible for them, so it’s hard for us. You know? Any fool can see how much you love our sister. If you ask me, she could have done worse.”
Not a glowing recommendation, but I’ll take it. “Thanks Jairo. Now let’s get her back.”
Just then the twins walk over to me and once again today, I am shocked where I stand. “Mikhail, we had a tracking chip installed in Phoenix’s engagement ring when we went and picked it up for you. I just activated, and it appears she is being held in a warehouse 30 minutes from here.” What the hell.
“How the hell did I not know about this chip?”
“There’s more. But we will fill you in in the car on the way to the destination.” More. What more can there be? Who are these men I have entrusted with my life?
The whole house grabs their weapons and loads up to ride out. Once the twins and I are in the truck they unload all their secrets on me.
“When we are not working for you, we moonlight as undercover operatives, taking down trafficking rings from the inside.” How did I not know this?
“We traced a rather elusive one to some compound four hours west of here. Several of the girls we have rescued told tales of being born and raised in this sort of cult like place. When you met Phoenix and we vetted her for you, we discovered not only was she and her siblings from this compound, but their father is the leader. He is a rather despicable man and we have been going in and out of there ever since, trying to build a presence on the inside to be able to extract more women. During one of our trips there we met a man named Olaf.”
The minute they say his name my body goes rigid and I begin to shake. No matter who this Olaf is, he molested my woman, and haunts her nightmares. But my worst fear is confirmed with the next words out of Vultans mouth.
“Because we had looked for him for you, we knew what he looked like, thus we knew instantly that he was your father. He and your mother have been there for decades. From what we gather, he is a sick individual who needs to be put down. But you should also know, you have a half-sister. She is your m
other’s daughter by one of the financiers in the compound. Her name is Jozelyn Joanne ‘JoJo’ and she is 19 years old. She has been one of our inside contacts. The night you left for L.A. she contacted us and said things had changed and we had to go in and extract her and another girl name Cindy. They have been staying in our safehouse ever since.”
I am quite simply speechless. I really don’t know who they are and tell them as much. The knowledge of the man who hurt Phoenix, shares the same blood as me, has me rattled. Does that mean I have that evil inside of me too? I would like to think I would never hurt a woman or child. But seriously, my own father. And a sister. It is just all too, much to take and I need to focus on getting Phoenix back right now.
“We never meant to deceive you Mikhail, but this is something near and dear to us. When we met as little kids, the thing you never knew was that we also had a little sister. Her name was Anya. She was the light of all our lives. When my father went to jail for one of his stints, a short one but long enough, one of the Bratva men came and took Anya from my mother when we were sleeping. He told her he was taking my sister as a payment for a debt my father owed. When my dad got out, he searched high and low for her. Finally, 5 years later he found her. In a brothel being used and abused by men. He rescued her. Or so we thought. But she was so troubled and messed up that she killed herself a year later. My father made it his mission to stop this from happening to anymore girls. And thus, he trained us. When you came here and asked us to come, we took it as an opportunity to do more on a broader scale because most of the girls come from here or end up here.”
Wow. I never knew. “I am sorry about your sister. I cannot imagine what you went through. However, I still wish you would have told me. I would have helped you anyway I could. Especially knowing my own flesh and blood is involved.”