The Life She Wished For (Birds of Paradise Book 2)

by ChaShiree M.

  “We understand.”

  “But what does this have to do with Phoenix now?”

  “We found through our time on the inside, that Maverick and Raffa are brothers. Raffa works for Ren and Maverick for you. They are brothers with the enforcer in the compound named Alto. They were sent to infiltrate us. We have our men on both.”

  Fuck!!! For a man that prides myself on control, it is humbling to realize that I really have none. There is so much shit going on around me, and I have no clue.

  “We are pulling up. Everyone loads up, turn your lights off.” I cock my gun in preparation and wait for the plan for entry.

  I’m coming baby. Hold on.

  I don’t know how long I sit in this room before my dad and Olaf come back in.

  “I see you have calmed yourself down. Good. Hysterics doesn’t look good on a woman.” Is he freaking serious. I take a deep breath, because fuck him. I am going to scream the place down when suddenly, I hear banging, screaming and gunshots.

  I smile. I knew they would come.

  “Who the fuck is that Ryan?” I haven’t heard anyone call my father by his name…well ever.

  “I don’t know. Did that shit for brains kid you had go get her, deactivate the tracking on her cell phone like I said? Can’t fucking trust anybody. Just go grab her and we will go out the back way.” I start wiggling and trying to squirm out of his grasp when I hear the loudest sound I have ever heard.

  Boom.

  I look up and there stands Mikhail. Along with Braxton and Lief. I exhale in relief and look over to where my father was standing only to realize he has taken off and I see Lief go after him.

  “Son. Good to see you. I see life has been kind.”

  Son. Who is Olaf calling son? The thought is barely finished when I hear Mikhail.

  “I am not your son. You lost that privilege when you abandoned me in an orphanage back in Russia. My parents were murdered. You…you are nothing to me. Nothing but a dead man, who molested the woman I love.”

  Mikhail is Olaf’s son. What the fuck. How is this even possible. I can’t even begin to comprehend what is happening right now. I mean did he always know this? When I was telling him what he did to me, did he know who this monster was? So many lies and secrets. Too much. One thing registers and it makes me squeeze my eyes closed.

  Not only did he say he loved me, and I know it’s not true considering he lied to me, but he said the word molested in front of Braxton. I look at my brother from half closed eyes and I see him blanche slightly at the word, before he looks at me and then back at the scene in front of him.

  “What would you know. There is a whole world of opportunity out there for making money cultivating power. Women just happen to be the currency.”

  “You’re a sick son of a bitch.”

  Bang

  And just like that with a bullet to the head, Olaf is no more. Mikhail reaches over and unties me. He wraps me in his arms so tight that I can barely breath. For a second, I allow myself to feel once again what it is like to be in his arms, safe, and loved.

  But when he says, “My Myshka. I am so sorry. I love you so much. Are you ok?”

  It is the word Myshka that propels me to pushback against him and run into the arms of my brother. I cannot bear to hear anymore endearments from him. No more lies. I can’t take anymore. I must figure out what to do with myself now and being swept back into the fairytale is not an option. Brax holds me and takes me outside.

  There, waiting is an ambulance. Even though I know I am not injured, my concern is for my baby, so I don’t put up a fuss when they place me inside and transport me. I lie back on the gurney, close my eyes, and dream of a life where all of this is just a nightmare.

  Once they have me settled in my hospital room, Mikhail comes in and I guess, it’s time to tell him.

  “Myshka, the doctors…”

  “Don’t call me Myshka. I am not your anything. I know about Elizaveta.” He pales a bit at the revelation and grabs ahold of the arm of the chair. I guess I got my answer. His response is as good as a confession.

  “How…hmm..mmm…how did you find out?”

  “She cornered me when we went to the opera in the bathroom and told me everything. How long you’ve been married, how you needed a ruse for your board members. Everything.”

  “Ok yes. She is my wife, but not in the way you think. And you my love, my angel, you were simply meant to be mine as I am meant to be yours. She and I had a marriage of convenience. We never slept together, never lived together, and never shared anything other than a last name. Please believe me baby. I have only ever loved you.”

  I am looking at him and I don’t know what to believe. But none of it changes the fact that he lied to me.

  “That part maybe the truth. But you still lied to me and deceived me. I said to never lie to me or break my heart. You promised. You lied. I can’t do this.”

  “What are you saying Phoenix?” Looking at the man I hung my hopes and dreams on, I don’t try and stop the tears from streaming down my face. The pain is going to leave scars a mile long in my heart and on my skin, because he is so deep in it. But I have to be strong now. For my baby. Hiccupping through the tears I tell him what needs to be said.

  “I am saying it is over. Here is your ring back. Please leave Mikhail.”

  “Leave. Leave. Have you lost your fucking mind? You are the only living part of my body. You are carrying my baby. My seed is growing inside you and you think I am going to walk away from you? Be mad. Fine. Don’t talk to me for a few days, weeks, whatever it takes. But you will leave this hospital with me and come to OUR home and we will work this out together.”

  While he was issuing his own orders, I pressed the button for the nurse knowing that when they saw the nurse come to my room my brothers would come too. When they get to the door, I simply turn over and say, “make him leave.” I know they will do as I ask first and then make me explain later. I sob into my pillow because there is nothing else to do.

  “No, let me go. Phoenix, baby look at me. Look at me Phoenix. God damn it…”

  “Mikhail, she asked you to leave. I don’t know what is going on, but my sister doesn’t want to see you.”

  “Apollo, let me go. PHOENIX! PHOENIX!! I LOVE YOU!!!! LOOK AT ME… PHOENIXXXXXXXX.”

  The louder he screams, the harder I cry. The pain is unlike anything I have ever felt. I can literally stick my whole fist into the hole where my heart is ripped out of my chest. I can feel the blood vessels being shrunk inside me as the life he sparked in me is torn from the home it used to have. If the doctors came into my room right now, they would see evidence of the slaughter that just took place. I am sure it is dripping down my chest for the world to see.

  Eventually the screaming stops and all seven of my brothers and sisters enter the room. One by one, I hug them all and then they sit there expectantly and that is when I remember what Brax overheard. So, I tell them. Every horrible detail from the compound until now. Even the baby.

  When I am finished, there is not a dry eye in the room. My sisters of course are vilifying Mikhail, which I expected. But the surprise is that my brothers are not. Interesting. I will investigate that more later.

  I ask them about Celeste and they tell me she died. “Celeste.” I whisper.

  My best friend, who died because she was friends with me. Her baby never got to breathe the air and see light. Poor Ron. Oh god. Someone must call Ron and tell him his whole life is over. I cry that out to my family and they tell me he has already been notified.

  I am mentally and emotionally exhausted and I ask them to come back tomorrow. When they leave, I fall off into a dreamless sleep and that is more than ok with me.

  4 months later

  I had been out of the hospital for about a month when I figured out I needed to leave and go somewhere where Mikhail couldn’t find me. He was relentless with the gifts for me and the baby. Though the baby gifts were nice, I needed peace of mind to figure out my next move.
I said as much to my brothers and that is when they dropped a bomb on me and my sisters.

  Apparently, my father’s parents were still alive, well, and living in Wyoming on a ranch. Talk about a bombshell. My dad always told us they were dead, but apparently, he just meant to him. My brothers say they found out about them when they were looking into my dad’s life trying to find out more about him. They have been there a few times and our grandparents were anxious to meet me and the girls. So, we packed up and went on a road trip. The minute we drove outside the New York state line, I could breathe better.

  Wyoming is beautiful. I was entranced the minute we made it here and when I saw them, I felt home. My grandmother is a tiny woman. She stands about 5’1’’ 100 lbs., but strong and healthy. Hip too. She was wearing turquoise jewelry and cowboy boots with beautiful salt and pepper hair cut into a pixie style.

  My grandfather is a bigger guy. He reminds me of my brothers. He is at least 5’10’’ 215 lbs. They look like total opposites, but you see so much love. After lots of hugging and crying, they spend time showing us pics of my dad when he was a boy. I just don’t get it. How did he get like this? My grandfather says he doesn’t know. But he always had an unhealthy obsession with men like David Karesh and Jim Jones. That figures.

  We spent three blissful days on the ranch and when it was time to go, I knew what I had to do. I looked at my brothers and sisters and told them I would be staying on the ranch for a while. After they spent about 20 minutes trying to convince me otherwise, they hugged me, told me stay in touch, and left.

  So here we are four months later, and my belly is bigger than it was. I found out last week that I am having a boy. How fitting, I think. I have decided to name him Maximilian Alexander Mikhailov. I still have yet to talk to Mikhail and luckily, he doesn’t know where I am.

  I received an email of a newspaper article stating that Elizaveta Mikhailov was found dead of a drug overdose in her 5th Ave apartment. I was shocked of course, but somehow sad. She must have been an incredibly troubled woman to die that way. I of course begin to wonder how Mikhail feels about it, but quickly decide that is no course to be on.

  “Phoenix. Are you going to come out and enjoy the party?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry Kea. Here I come.”

  We are having an engagement party for my sister Kea here at the Ranch. I am so happy for her. Finding Colton was the best thing to ever happen to her. Wiping the melancholy from my face, I begin to walk out when a shadow steps in my way. Looking up I start to utter an ‘excuse me’ until I realize who I am looking at.

  “Mikhail. What are you doing here?”

  “Taking back my life.”

  THE ENDish

  Birds of Paradise Series:

  The Life She Left Behind(#1)

  The Life She Wished For

  Moosehead Minnesota Series written with MK Moore

  Marry Grinchmas(#1)

  Sterling and Kennedy(#2)

  Rose for Max(#3)

  Coming Soon

  Birds of Paradise Series

  The Life She Couldn’t See (#3)—Spring 2018

  The Life He Searched For (1.5 Ren’s Short Story)—Summer 2018

  The Life He Takes Back (2.5 Mikhail’s Short Story)

  Mafia After Dark Series (Birds of Paradise Spinoff)

  Ghost

  Santiago

  Vultan

  Vuolo

  Standalones

  Here a Darkish Romance

  7

  Works to be written with MK Moore

  Moosehead Minnesota Series

  The Time Between Us—Summer 2018 #4

  Queen of Hearts Ink Series (Moosehead Spinoff) written with MK Moore

  Inked Heart—Spring 2018

  Inked by Him

  Inked by Her

  Ink my Soul—Queen of Hearts Ink short story #1

  Ink Me—Queen of Hearts Ink short story #2

  To my Mom, you have been my rock in more than one way. I am having so much fun on this journey, and knowing you support me is making it more fun. I love you mama.

  To my editor Melinda Grier. You took a chance on me and decided to take this journey with me and for that I will always be grateful. I love you. You are more than my editor; you are also my best friend. I look forward to more fun and writing with you. I look forward to watching your new editing business flourish and to making more beautiful books with you.

  Trisha Reynolds. What can I say. You are the proofreader from Heaven. You are also one hell of a best friend. I am so happy to have you a part of the team and you apart of my life. Lets do this girl.

  Mary. My sister in arms and words. I am so happy to have met you. It has been a blast knowing you, writing with you and traveling with you. I love you like a fat kid love cake.

  Annelise Reynolds. You have become such a special person in my life. Thank you for all the talks…even about Frozen…lol…You are brilliant…now write more words woman.

  Amanda C., you are the PA from my dreams. My right-hand woman. The other half of my brain. I seriously believe we share the brain and that is sometimes scary and so freaking fun. I love you girl.

  To the V-Squad. There is not much to say except I love all of you. You make me smile and laugh every single day and without your daily support and friendship, I would be lost. #Vsquadforlife

  Finally to the Lifers and my readers. My own personal squad of ladies who even though I didn’t have a book out yet, took a chance on me and joined my still building readers page and bared with me as I figured out what I wanted it to look like, feel like and say daily. You ladies have been a great source of laughter and pick me up whenever I asked for it and I hope I don’t let you down with this baby. I appreciate your support and your unearned loyalty and following (though hopefully I have earned it with this debut). There will be many more to come. I look forward to taking you on the ride.

  Last but certainly not least: to the 9 bright stars in my sometimes dark mind; Jaila, DeDe, J-man, Ameriah, Javin, Lundyn, Jelaya and Augest and Angelea. Titi loves you guys more than you will ever know and I do this to also show you to reach as high as you can go and higher. Nothing is ever out of reach.

  This has been a long time coming and a labor of love. As my first book, it will always be my baby but I am so excited to be working on the next one and to make this a dream that excels.

  ChaShiree M. is 34 years old. She loves to write as much as she loves to help mold and mentor the new generation. You can find her at home in Chicago chilling with her friends and family or trying to find the next book event to go to and fangirl.

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