“As do you, Mother.” The emerald green gown was stunning with her creamy skin and still slim figure.
Louisa knew she’d been looking forward to the party, one of the few she’d hosted since becoming a widow. Louisa didn’t want to ruin it any more than she already had. If she hadn’t heard news of Benjamin before long, she’d escape the ball, pick the lock on his library door again and search his house until she found him.
By midnight, she’d know if he was well and if there was any possible chance of him forgiving her.
“Shall we go down?” her mother asked.
“One last thing.” Louisa returned to her dressing table and retrieved the mistletoe Benjamin had presented to her and tucked it into the bodice of her gown. Having it close to her heart gave her a faint, flickering hope that somehow, she could make this right. That they could weather this storm together. Having a life with Benjamin, even if they had to move abroad, would be preferable to living without him.
She tucked her mother’s hand in the crook of her arm and forced a smile. “Let us greet our guests.”
The house looked more festive than it had in a very long time. An enormous arrangement of red roses sat on the entrance hall table. Holly and ivy graced many of the rooms as well as the bannister. Candles had been placed everywhere, casting a glittering light. Fires burned cheerfully in both the drawing room, where they’d receive their guests, as well as the dining room.
Guests started to arrive, and Louisa searched for Caroline or Annabelle in the receiving line. She’d thought they might arrive early so she could have a moment to speak with them, but as time passed and they failed to appear, her worry grew. At last, she spotted her cousins in the line. Much to her surprise, her aunt had joined Caroline and Annabelle.
“Aunt Josephine, it’s lovely to see you,” Louisa said as she hugged her. “You look wonderful.”
“Thank you. Caroline insisted Reginald would be in good hands for a few hours while I attended.” Yet Louisa could see worry lingering in the back of her eyes, suggesting his failing mental state wore on her.
“I’m so pleased you came,” Louisa said.
“We had a difficult time convincing her, but Christmas Eve is the perfect time to see family and friends.” Caroline looped an arm through her mother’s.
“Indeed,” Louisa said as she studied Caroline, hoping for some indication as to Benjamin’s welfare. Caroline gave a small nod, and Louisa drew her first relieved breath. “A perfect time to celebrate life.”
Caroline smiled but said nothing more, leaving Louisa to wonder still. To know he lived was a blessing, but she dearly wanted to know how he was and what had happened. She supposed that meant she’d be paying a midnight visit to his residence after all.
Her aunt continued forward to greet Louisa’s mother along with Caroline and Annabelle, leaving Louisa momentarily alone. She knew she should mingle and make certain everyone was enjoying themselves, but she needed a moment to gather herself, to hold the good news tight to her heart.
With a glance around the crowded room to make certain she wasn’t needed, she stepped into the hallway, only to stop short at the sight before her.
“Benjamin?” She could hardly believe her eyes. With her heart in her throat, she stared at him from head to toe to make certain he was in one piece. “You’re well?”
“I am.”
She swallowed hard as she studied his unfathomable face. “Gibbon?”
“Unharmed.”
“I see.” Although she didn’t. Her heart hammered with all that stood between them, but her relief to see him well overpowered all else. “What happened?”
He glanced at the guests in the drawing room before guiding them deeper into the hallway, providing a little privacy. “Suffice it to say that we both missed and declared the matter satisfied, although Gibbon did so begrudgingly. However, he called on me a few hours ago to inform me that his sister explained she’d erred, and I was innocent. He then apologized.”
“If only that had happened sooner.” Louisa shook her head. “I’m so sorry I responded the way I did. I—”
He placed a finger on her lips. “You do not need to apologize for anything.”
She removed his finger and held it tight. “Yes, I do. I never should’ve doubted you. I’m terribly sorry.”
He smiled. “Your experience has given you cause not to give your trust easily. We’ll discuss the details when you don’t have a houseful of guests.”
“I don’t care about the guests.” She only wanted to step into the circle of his arms and never leave. “I made a terrible mistake and have to know if you’ll ever forgive me.”
The warmth of his smile tightened her chest and gave her hope. “Of course I do. Now I would like to wish your mother a Happy Christmas and ask if I might call upon her tomorrow, despite it being Christmas.”
Louisa frowned. “Whatever for?”
“With your cousin in the country, I would like to ask the marchioness for your hand. With your approval, of course.”
“Benjamin!” She gave in to the urge and threw her herself into his arms.
He chuckled as he held her tight for a long moment before easing back to look into her eyes. “I love you, Louisa. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
“I love you as well, and I would be delighted to have you as my husband.”
“Even if my reputation is now blackened?” The hint of vulnerability in his eyes only made her love him more.
“Yes. I don’t care what others think. We are meant to be together. If needed, we shall be outcasts together.”
“While it warms my heart to hear you say that, we’ll hope that won’t be necessary. Lady Adele sent anonymous letters to many of the ton, including Delham. She also requested an anonymous advert to be run in The Times, despite her brother’s misgivings. I’m not certain those actions will resolve the issue, but I’d like to think they’ll help to smooth things over.”
“I’m pleased to hear that.” While she was glad Adele was taking steps to help repair the damage, she wished she hadn’t made the outrageous claim to begin with. For Benjamin’s sake, she hoped Adele’s efforts were successful.
His gaze dropped to the mistletoe tucked in her neckline before holding her gaze once more. “I wouldn’t want to do anything further to ruin my reputation, but that is mistletoe, and it is Christmas Eve.”
Desire swept through Louisa, much like a spark to tinder. She lifted to meet his lips halfway, doing her best to show him how much she loved him. His tongue swirled with hers, building the heat within her until all else fell away.
Before she was ready for the kiss to end, he eased back. “Happy Christmas, Louisa. I love you so much. You are a gift beyond measure that I don’t deserve and will always cherish. I look forward to many more holidays with you.”
“As do I. You are my heart and soul. My rogue forever. I love you.” She kissed him once more to seal her words.
He tapped a finger against the mistletoe. “That was two kisses, and there are three berries. That leaves us one more for later.”
She chuckled, her heart nearly full to bursting. “I look forward to it.”
“Let us brave the crowd to speak with your mother.” He took her hand and placed it under his arm, then walked into the room.
A murmur rolled through the guests as they entered, several obviously surprised to see Benjamin, but others nodded at him as if nothing untoward had occurred.
They made their way to where her mother visited with a handsome, older gentleman whom Louisa hadn’t met.
“Lady Whirlenhall, Happy Christmas,” Benjamin said with a bow. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“How good of you to come,” her mother said before casting a questioning look at Louisa. “All is well?”
Louisa smiled at Benjamin. “Yes.”
“Indeed. All is well.” Something lit his expression, his gaze holding hers as if making a promise. Love shone in his eyes, causing her to catch her br
eath.
“I’m so pleased to hear that. We shall hope we can both manage to retain our reputations for the foreseeable future.” Her mother smiled at Benjamin, who chuckled in response.
“Count Eastov,” her mother began, “may I introduce you to my daughter, Lady Louisa Felton?”
The older gentleman with friendly blue eyes and an impressive grey mustache bowed over her hand. “You are as beautiful as your mother.” His Russian accent was almost as intriguing as the sparkle in her mother’s eyes. “I had the good fortune of meeting your father in his youth and was terribly saddened to learn of his passing. When a friend mentioned he was coming to your gathering, I couldn’t resist attending with the hope your mother would allow me to stay. I look forward to coming to know both of you better.”
“Thank you.” Louisa took a second look at the man, noting the way he watched her mother with an admiring but respectful gaze. Something seemed different about this man and the way her mother acted. She looked forward to seeing how their association progressed.
What an amazing Christmas Eve this was turning out to be. With Benjamin at her side, anything seemed possible.
~*~
Well after midnight, Benjamin sank into the wingback chair before the fire in his library and took a sip of brandy. Though exhausted after the events of the day as well as a sleepless night, a strange restlessness gripped him that suggested slumber would be long in coming.
The day had begun with him thinking he’d lost everything. Now he had more than he’d ever hoped for. How intriguing life could be, full of twists and turns one never expected despite the best-laid plans.
It had required all his fortitude not to gather Louisa into his arms and carry her somewhere private. Dancing with her had been equal parts wonderful and painful, filling him with the longing to show her how he felt, how much she meant to him. His need to be with her, to talk to her, to touch her, surpassed anything he’d ever experienced—a physical ache that made him all the more anxious to make her his wife.
But he was determined to do the right thing and protect both of their reputations from this day forth. Stolen moments on terraces were no longer in his future. He would do everything in his power to prevent another occurrence like today’s. The idea of losing Louisa had nearly undone him.
When he’d returned home from the duel and the footman handed him her message, he’d been sure it would contain a repeat of what she’d told Caroline. Instead, her simply worded apology had filled his heart with hope. Her message was tucked into his desk as a treasured memento in the same place his uncle had kept the marchioness’s letters. But his reason for keeping the note was as different as night and day from his uncle’s.
Tomorrow he’d be one step closer to making Louisa his by speaking with her mother. He’d also pay a call on Louisa’s cousin when the weather permitted a trip to the country. As soon as he—
An odd sound broke into his thoughts. He paused to listen then looked toward the garden door, certain he had to be wrong. Yet the familiar shadow in lad’s attire standing there told him otherwise.
Heart racing, he quickly set aside his brandy and hurried to open the door. “Louisa?”
“Benjamin.” She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight.
He managed to shut the door as he returned the embrace, relishing the feel of her in his arms. “Whatever are you doing here? It’s snowing.” He glanced out to see big, fluffy flakes still falling. “You should be abed.”
“I had to see you. To speak with you. I wanted more time with you. Alone.”
“Louisa,” he whispered, kissing her cold, bare fingers. Then he guided her toward the warmth of the fire and added coals to the embers, giving more heat and light to the room. Still in disbelief that she was here, he took her into his arms again and held her for a long moment. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to tell you about the duel myself. I allowed you to believe the worst.” He shook his head, unwilling to tell her how close Gibbon had come to shooting him. “I promise never to give you any reason to doubt my love for you.”
Louisa tightened her embrace, her words muffled against his chest. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if the day had ended differently.”
“Shh,” he murmured as he ran a hand along her back. His body stirred at the feel of her in his arms. He was half-dressed with his cravat untied, jacket removed, and waistcoat open. Holding her like this felt more intimate than any previous moment with her. He drew a slow breath, reminding himself that he was supposed to be offering reassurance, not becoming aroused. “All is well. No need for either of us to dwell on such things.”
Her sweet scent of roses filled his senses, and he couldn’t resist pulling her close so her body pressed against his. How was he supposed to do the right thing with this temptress in his arms? After a long moment, he loosened his hold to gaze down at her.
Louisa bit her lip as she withdrew the mistletoe with its one remaining white berry from her pocket. “I would like to collect that last kiss you promised. It is Christmas, you know.”
“Our first Christmas together. One of many, I hope.” He plucked the last berry and carefully set it aside, then kissed her, pouring all his love into the moment. She tasted so sweet as her tongue moved against his.
Her cap fell to the floor, causing her hair to fall in waves along her back. The golden tresses spilled like silk against his fingers. He ran his hands along her waist to the flare of her hips then lower where the tightly fitting trousers hugged her bottom. Need pulsed through him at the realization that she would soon be his. But she wasn’t yet.
“You should go,” he muttered even as he pressed kisses along her jaw and neck. “I’ll escort you home.”
“Not yet. Please. We are betrothed, after all.” Her hands ran over his shirt before her cool fingers found the opening and touched his bare chest. Then she kissed him again and all thoughts of stopping melted away.
On a groan, he reached under her jacket to find her shirt warm from her body. That only made him want to caress her bare skin. The firelight shone on her golden hair, on the line of her jaw, along the curve of her neck.
“Oh, Benjamin.” She pressed a kiss in the opening of his shirt, and his knees went weak.
If this continued, he wouldn’t be able to stop. Not with passion drumming along his skin. He needed to find the strength to wait. “Louisa.”
“Shh.” She placed a finger on his lips then reached up to brush the hair above his ear. “I know what you’re going to say. That we should wait. But I love you. We’re going to be married. Soon, I hope. And it’s Christmas. What better present could we give each other than being together?”
While he wanted to agree, he hesitated, torn as to how to respond.
“I could’ve lost you today,” she whispered, a catch in her voice.
“You didn’t.” And he’d never been so happy to be alive.
“Let us have this moment together. To mark a new beginning.”
He groaned. “Do you have any idea how much I desire you?”
“Then take me. I want to be yours in every sense of the word. Always.” She ran her hands over his shoulders and chest, which nearly made him shudder.
He removed his shirt, allowing it to fall to the floor as she bent to remove her boots then shrugged out of her jacket. He pulled her shirt free of the trousers, desperate to touch her flesh. Then he kissed her once more, his tongue sweeping into her mouth.
At last, she shifted to draw her shirt over her head, revealing only a thin chemise that clung to her breasts.
“So beautiful. So perfect in every way.” He reached a trembling hand to touch her, molding the soft mounds beneath his hand. “Are you certain?”
“More than anything. I love you so much.” She ran her hands over his chest again and paused a moment over his thundering heart with a smile.
“And I love you with all I am. All I ever will be.” He kissed her long and deep, treasuring the gift she was giving him with an overflowing heart. “
I’ll obtain a special license so we can be married as soon as possible.”
“Perfect,” she said as her hands eased steadily lower.
He drew a shaky breath to gather his will to move slowly, wanting the moment to be perfect. He caressed her curves gently before cupping her breasts, running the pad of his thumb over her nipple.
“Oh, Benjamin.” She arched into his hand.
He loosened the neck of her chemise, and his fingers quickly found bare skin, soft and velvety. Her breasts were full and firm. Why had he ever thought she should leave?
“One moment, my sweet,” he whispered as he gave her a quick kiss. He reached for the blankets on the settee and spread them before the now crackling fire.
“Lovely.” She smiled and slid out of her trousers, standing shyly before him in her chemise.
His breath caught as if he’d forgotten how to breathe. Their lips met once more, their tongues melding as they kissed. He lifted her into his arms to lay her gently on the blanket and lay beside her.
“You truly are beautiful.” Her smooth skin glowed in the firelight, her eyes sparkling.
“You make me feel beautiful inside and out.”
He eased her chemise over her head as he kissed her neck then moved lower to the swell of her breasts. As he cupped one firm globe, he licked the tip of the other. Her gasp fueled the need within him. He repeated the gesture before taking her nipple into his mouth, loving her response.
She shifted beneath him as if restless. Her hands ran along his hip, on the planes of his stomach then to the waist of his trousers. “Why don’t you remove these?”
“My pleasure.” He shed them quickly as he admired her lithe body in the firelight. “Are you warm enough?” he asked as he returned to her side to lean on an elbow, noting how her gaze lingered on his manhood.
“So warm.” She caressed his belly, and his flesh heated beneath her touch and her gaze. “And strong.”
He kissed her again, caressing her body until he found the curve of her hip. Her skin was incredibly smooth and irresistible. He touched her thighs, lingered on her bottom, wanting to explore every inch of her. How he wished he had more patience but need pushed him forward. He moved toward the damp curls at the apex of her thighs, hoping to make her feel as good as he did. Her moan made his body throb even as he touched her slick folds, loving how responsive she was.
A Rogue's Reputation (The Rogue Chronicles Book 2) Page 10