by T. G. Ayer
"Bryn," she whispered, her blue gaze unwavering. "There is only so much you can control. We are all here by choice, and as much as you are responsible for the team, you are not in charge of fate. Those who perish in this war, they are fighting alongside you for the same reasons you fight. To safeguard our world." She paused to swallow hard again, her lips dry and cracking. Part of me wanted to tell her to stop talking, to save her strength, but another part respected her need to speak. "Ragnarok is here, no matter how hard we try to ignore it. And Ragnarok is not one short battle, it is a length of time in our lives in which we were destined to fight Loki and his Jotunn."
I shook my head and tried to tell her to be quiet but she waved my hand away. "Don't worry, I have said my piece."
She took a breath and the sound crackled in her lungs, a sound that made me want to scream out at the unfairness of it all.
Then she reached out a hand and grabbed hold of my wrist. "Will you do something for me?"
"Anything," I answered, knowing I'd do whatever I could to grant her wish. I took her hand in mine and held it gently.
"Take me to the seaside. Somewhere where the sun is blazing and the beach is golden and the air is salty on your tongue." She smiled with longing as she spoke and her expression drew tears to my eyes. "I grew up by the sea, a long, long time ago. I want to see it one more time before I go."
I nodded, blinking hard to hold back my tears. "I will take you."
"Not until I patch you up," came Suri's stern voice.
Myst glanced up at Suri who was staring at me, and frowned. Then she turned her gaze at me, "Are you injured?" she asked, her voice almost accusing. "You should have told me."
I shrugged, then winced. "I'll live, Myst. The bullet went right through me."
She glared at me while Suri bent and grasped my arm, helping me to stand. She held onto me as the room spun a little, then led me to a chair by the window. As I sat, I caught Myst glaring at me, angry even while she was dying.
"Is there time?" I whispered to Suri as she helped me out of my jacket. "I have to take Myst to the beach as she asked. Before it's too late."
"She has an hour or so left in her. Probably more. But, I don't think she'd appreciate it if you died while taking her there. Do you know what happens when a person dies while on the Bifrost?" she asked sharply, her golden eyes flaring with dragon fire, her voice now loud enough for everyone to hear her.
"No idea," I said softly. "What happens?"
Suri clicked her tongue, "How the hell should I know?" she said as she slipped the shoulder of my shirt off my arm, and bared my chest to inspect the wound.
A ripple of laughter went around the room, making me acutely aware that all the occupants had heard me being scolded like a toddler. By a child, no less.
I didn't mind at all.
Joshua came to stand beside Suri as she worked. "I'll keep her company and bring her back in case she dies. Just to make sure we don't lose her on the Bridge." His lips twisted into an amused grin.
My eyes narrowed as I glared at him, but I said nothing as Suri cleaned out the wounds on my chest and then my back. I looked around the room as she worked, noting the battered baseball on a shelf beside the window, the pale blue walls printed with faded helicopters and hot air balloons, and a poster of a well-known time-travel movie. Another shelf held trophies, lots of baseball and basketball accolades.
I assumed the room had once belonged to the President himself as I knew he was an only child. How strange to be sitting in what had once been this man's past. No wonder he'd held onto his grandmother's house, what with all the memories it contained.
Heat surged into my shoulder and thrust me out of my thoughts and into the burning present, to feel Suri pressing her hands hard onto the skin of both wounds, shoulder and chest. "I'm sealing the wound with the lowest level of my fire. The last thing I need is to burn you to a crisp."
"Now, that's a description I do not want to imagine." I laughed, trying to take my mind off the pain of heat as it sizzled into my flesh. "Geez. I'm going to need a couple bottles of aspirin for this," I said dryly.
"Try this," said Aimee hurrying up to me from the other end of the room where she'd been tending to another warrior with a bullet wound in his thigh.
"What is it?" I asked, more than a little suspicious in case she decided to knock me out cold. I wouldn't put it past her.
"Mead."
"Thank god," I said, reaching for the glass a little too fast, making Suri click her tongue loudly.
"No, thank Heidren."
Everyone laughed at that too, even warriors in pain took solace in mirth. I was glad our conversation was providing some sort of entertainment for them considering what we'd just been through.
Derek walked into the room as I drained my glass. He was holding a black bullet between his fingers and I wanted to shudder.
"Is that from Thor's leg?" When he nodded I asked, "What can you tell from it?"
"It's made of obsidian, and a stone that Thor said comes from Jotunnheim. And another property." He gave me an uncomfortable look.
I grunted. "Don't tell me. They're using my blood again." With a snort I continued, "What would Loki have done without me?"
Derek nodded, still shuffling in his shoes. "This seems to be a more advanced version of the black goo they'd used on the new warriors."
The knowledge only piled on more of the negative, increasing the horror of my life. I wanted out, wanted to be far away from here. But I had a duty to uphold, people that were counting on me.
And yet they were dying because of me, too.
"And Loki would have found another way to invent ammunition to hurt and maim us. It's in his nature." Derek's tone was a little sharp, making me want to move to a less touchy subject.
"Are we anywhere near an antidote?"
Derek nodded. "There was some at New York HQ, still experimental. At the moment it just stuns the Jotunn, as opposed to killing their asses dead."
I almost shrugged but fortunately I remembered Suri and her nursing efforts just in time. "Right now we need all the help we can get," I said dryly.
"Yup. Fen's already sent two warriors to New York to bring back enough stock to tide us over."
A soft sigh drew my attention to Myst. She would be waiting for me. If I didn't get moving she'd slip into the next life before I fulfilled my promise.
I put a hand on Derek's shoulder. "I have to see to Myst. I don't think I'll be long. Can you see to it that the President gets some rest?"
Derek nodded, his expression tight, filled with the strain of the day. Another American kid who'd just witnessed the demolition of a symbol of his lifetime in a country that had once seemed invulnerable.
First, there were planes dive-bombing New York City. And now Loki had seen fit to continue that terror, inciting fear and instability worldwide.
Suri stepped away and dusted her hands while I readjusted my shirt. I moved over to Myst and crouched down beside her, brushing the hair from her face.
"Hey," I said, giving her a soft smile. When she turned her head slowly to me I asked, "Ready?" She moved her head in a parody of a nod, making it clear how hard the action was to perform.
I slipped my hand under her torso and helped her to sit beside me on the bed. The movement drew the attention of everyone in the room. And suddenly we were surrounded by them all. She smiled at them, tears glinting in her eyes.
"Thank you all so much. For welcoming me as part of your team. For listening when I threw orders at you." A ripple of soft laughter ran around the group. Myst held out her hand and Aimee took it, falling to her knees on the floor before the dying Valkyrie. Slowly, all the warriors in the room sank to one knee too, and when Aimee reached out to hold Suri's hand, a network grew, as if Myst's spirit reached out to all the warriors like the roots of energy.
And perhaps it was the other way too. Perhaps this group of warriors were sending their love and support to Myst because they all knew this would be the last
time they would ever see her alive.
When she looked at me with her half smile, I knew it was time. I held her waist and shifted her to the edge of the mattress. Joshua went to the other side of her, supporting her as she moved upright with me. Holding her tightly, I met Joshua's gaze as I pulled Gungnir from my back and gave him a short nod.
Shucking out the spear, I pictured the one place that I'd been so very happy. The one place that had been a haven for me, a long, long time ago.
Sunset Cove in California.
Every summer until he died, my dad had taken me to Sunset Cove where he'd owned a house that backed right up onto the sand. We'd spend three weeks enjoying the sea and the gorgeous sun-drenched days. Myst would love it.
The moment we materialized onto the soft golden sand, Myst let out a soft sigh. "I have missed the beauty of the seashore, but in truth I may have forgotten how wonderful it was."
I held her waist and walked her to the water's edge. Joshua supported while I removed her boots.
She sighed when she set her bare feet onto the waterlogged sand, squishing her toes deep into it. "Feels so good." She walked forward, her legs shivering with the effort but she didn't seem to care that it was taxing her strength.
Holding on tightly, I took as much weight onto myself as possible.
Joshua hovered in the background and I was never more thankful for his presence than at this moment. Tears threatened to spill and I wanted to give in, but I had to hold it back for Myst. This was her special time.
She let out a soft giggle as a wave raced toward her and smashed into her bare feet before surging back out to sea.
Before us, the horizon glowed red-gold against the deep blue water, waves undulating, cresting and smashing back to nothing in the large expanse of water.
Myst sighed again. "Thank you, Bryn." She paused a moment before saying, "I think I need to sit down for a while."
I held her tight again, turning her to face the sand dunes behind us. But her weight began to grow heavy and I knew her time was close.
Joshua snaked an arm around Myst's waist right as she began to slip, helping me to move her to the dry sand. We sat her down and I sank into the sand beside her, giving her something to lean on.
Air soughed through her lips and she said, "What a beautiful place in which to enter the afterlife." Then she shifted her gaze to me. "Can you do one more thing for me?"
I nodded, swallowing back my tears.
Myst smiled. "Can you tell Freya that I want the ceremony to be held here?"
"I'll tell her," I said, patting her hand.
Then she hesitated. "If it's not too much trouble. If it is, then Asgard is fine . . ."
Her voice faded away and then her breath shuddered.
I looked out to sea as Myst's head tilted to rest on my shoulder. If anyone should see us, they'd see three young people enjoying a moment on the beach.
Not two winged Valkyries and one armored warrior, keeping each other company until one of them died.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
I suppressed a shiver, not wanting to disturb Myst. Then she shuddered again as she took another breath. "Thank you both. This was amazing." She fell so silent that I didn't need to look to see that it was over.
Myst was gone.
I remained as still as possible, afraid she may tilt over and fall onto the sand. We stayed that way for a while, and for every moment that passed I allowed my tears to fall.
The view of the ocean blurred into nothing and then Joshua was reaching for Myst, carefully laying her down on the sand with his jacket for a pillow.
When he was done, he moved beside me, put his arm around my shoulders and pulled my close. He kissed me at my temple then held me tight. I didn't stop crying, not even when I lay my head on his shoulders.
We sat that way for a while, with me taking a moment here and there to glance at Myst's beautiful face, trying to understand why I kept losing the people I cared about.
I inhaled and it transformed into a shuddering sob.
Joshua bent to look at me, then gave me another squeeze. "At least she went on her own terms. It's what I would want."
"She didn't exactly agree to die," I bit out, my voice holding a harsh edge that I knew was unfair but that I didn't apologize for.
I couldn't say I was sorry because I'd meant what I'd said.
Joshua shifted beside me, his hand rubbing my back in soft strokes. "Bryn, we all accepted the possibility of death the moment we agreed to fight for Odin. It's our destiny to give our lives for him."
I turned to face him, anger blazing in my eyes. "Tell me what choice you had, Joshua. You died, for god's sake. You were gone, to heaven or the afterlife or whatever the hell is out there. You didn't have a choice when you were taken to Asgard. Did they even say you could refuse?"
"Yes, Bryn. They did. There was a period of time we were given in which we had to think over the choice, to decide if we wanted to take the opportunity and serve Odin or if we wanted to go back to the afterlife."
I sniffed. "At least they gave you a choice. Nobody gave me a damned choice."
Joshua frowned. "I thought the Valkyries were given a choice too. Sigrun said that when they were brought to Asgard they were asked to choose. They got to say no before they were given their wings. I think even the Ulfr decide if they want to serve or not. We all had a choice, Bryn."
"Not all of us." My heart thudded heavily against my ribs.
"What do you mean?" I tilted my head to look at Joshua. "I didn't get to choose."
"But-"
"When Sigrun took me to Asgard I was given time to prepare but nobody told me I could say no. Sigrun told me not to anger Odin, but even so, had I known I could refuse maybe I would have done so at the outset."
Joshua laughed. "Who are you kidding, Bryn?" He shook his head and squeezed my shoulder. "I know you, Bee. So, I know you would not have turned the opportunity down."
Funny, he hadn't called me Bee since before he'd died in Craven. I shook my head. "You don't understand. At least I would have had the chance to choose. You can look back now and say 'Yes, this was my decision and I accept it' but I can't do that. All of this, all the responsibility and all the pain was shoved into my arms. I had no choice. Not once. I was given my wings without a choice. I had to bring Aidan back from Craven with a bullet-hole in his forehead, his corpse dripping maggots as I moved. I had to find the rest of Brisingamen for Freya so she'd allow Aidan to live. All of that was not a choice."
Joshua sighed. "I understand how you feel."
I fell silent, wondering if he really did know how I felt. But, then I saw it clearly, that even if he didn't empathize with my experience with Aidan, he'd shared most of my experiences with me, that he too had been used and betrayed by Mika, just pawns in her plan to betray Fen and go over to her grandfather Loki's side. Just another person Loki had manipulated. And Joshua had grieved for Sigrun too. Her death had taken its toll on all of us, Aimee included.
And I was being selfish.
I sighed. "I'm sorry to be a drag."
Joshua let go of my shoulders to run a fingertip along my cheek. He pushed aside a stray lock of hair and kissed my temple so gently it made me want to burst into tears again.
"Never, ever be sorry for talking to me about your feelings," he whispered in my ear. "I am always here for you. Always."
I laughed softly, the sound snatched away by a stiff breeze that sent golden grains whipping along the surface of the sand. And then it hit me that happiness was not appropriate at a time like this.
Shifting around, I glanced back at Myst. She looked like she was taking a peaceful nap. Her lips curled in a slight smile, her eyes shut. Even her skin glowed. The only thing that indicated something was wrong was Myst's wings.
Their color had begun to fade, the rich glow of obsidian darkness had grown limp and lifeless. Soon her feathers would begin to fall. We didn't have much time.
Had she died instantly, without her strength wan
ing for so many hours, she would have lasted long enough for us to return her to Asgard, if she'd wanted that.
But, since she'd requested a burial here in Sunset Cove, it left me wondering what the next step would be. "Should we take her back to Asgard?" I asked Joshua, not sure if I was strong enough to make any decisions right now.
His gaze moved to Myst. "Would she last that long?"
"I have no idea. And we'd have to bring her right back anyway," I whispered, then sniffed. "I'll go to Freya and ask. It shouldn't take long."
Joshua nodded, his expression somber. "You go. I'll stay with her."
I grabbed Gungnir from the sand where I'd left it when we'd arrived, and got to my feet. I tapped the spear and in the next instant I reappeared in Freya's Hall in Hel. The last time I'd been here I'd fought with Astrid, Freya's second-in-command. Now, I entered the hall to tell the goddess that Myst, the Valkyrie she'd given to me, was dead.
And that she wanted her last rites to be held in Midgard. A part of me was afraid of Freya's reaction.
I sensed movement at my right, and turned to see Freya walk through the doorway, speaking in low tones with another black-haired woman. Freya's companion was olive-skinned where the goddess was milky pale. Both looked up at me, surprised at my unannounced intrusion.
"What is it, Brynhildr?" asked Freya, her face tightening in alarm. She already knew that something was wrong, no doubt from the expression on my face.
"It's Myst. She's-"
"What happened?" she asked, her voice growing cooler.
I inhaled sharply before forcing the words out. "She was on the team that went to Washington. We were attacked by Jotunn. A number of warriors were wounded. Myst's injuries were too great." I struggled, taking a while to take a deep breath. "Myst is dead."
"Oh," said Freya, her voice soft, her face growing pale as she walked to her throne.
"I'm so sorry." My voice broke and I swallowed hard.