by Vish Dhamija
‘Let’s go to Ali’s place. I am too excited to sleep now.’ It resur-faced that he hadn’t spoken to his friend since Ali had seen Anita. But by the time they got to Ali’s place, Jay had finished off the vodka in the protracted journey in traffic. Ali only had to tell him once that he wasn’t going to reveal his conversation with Anita and that it was for Jay’s own good that he let her complete the analysis.
What was the fucking rush anyway? Wasn’t he meeting Anita tomorrow?
They talked about everything except Kumar’s trial. Ali simply did not want to hear anything about it or give his opinion. Jay’s demeanour was ecstatic and his behaviour was triumphant, which was enough to divulge that he had found the evidence to defeat Talwar yet again. While Akbar Ali was happy to see his friend celebrate, he was unhappy to know that truth would fail again. It was a fucking mockery of the legal system.
‘One day, we might be against each other in court. What would you do then, Akbar?’
‘Never. That day you’ll have to decide if you’ll be my opponent or my friend. But, why bother about hypothetical situations, my friend?’
As there was no court appearance for either on the following day, they partied till three in the morning, munching on packed aloo-paranthas that Bhīma had brought for them before leaving to get the Glock.
***
The sun, which Jay had seen sinking from Rita’s room, was beginning to wake up and colour the sky when Bhīma drove past the gate of the farm house. It was 4:30 am.
‘We got the Glock and I’ve arranged for it to be sent for testing, hukum. We’ll get the result by Sunday evening.’
That was all Jay heard as he walked up the stairs. He was too drunk to ask anything or even thank Bhīma.
THIRTY
I couldn’t sleep despite the fatigue and the intemperance and I attributed it all to my anxiety: the sweet smell of victory. Most people only complain that they lose sleep when they are sad; they always overlook the point that exhilaration can kill sleep equally mercilessly too. When I say I couldn’t sleep I mean I didn’t have a deep one. I knew Cooper visited me, as there was drink on my bedside and he had turned on music — metal, Black Sabbath to be precise — at a fairly high volume and as “War Pigs” marched on it numbed me in and out of sleep. I had desperately wanted to catch up with Cooper for a while now, to confront him for making me feel like a complete and utter idiot, but I didn’t quite have the strength. There was way too much alcohol in me. Besides, confronting is never a happy job and even in my stupor I could grasp that I did not want anything to ruin my mood. There would always be time for such little skirmishes later. Why bother?
I distinctly remember finishing my drink before these thoughts carried me into slumber, but when I woke up it had been refilled. Why was he bent upon getting me drunk? Arsehole must be sitting somewhere in the living room below and grinning. I decided not to touch any more alcohol.
I opened my eyes at noon. The little stream of sunlight pierced my brain like a strobe light. It wasn’t a hangover; I was still drunk. Headache, nausea and dizziness enveloped me the moment I put my feet on the ground. I couldn’t even stand. I pressed the buzzer for Bahadur and ordered fried eggs, sausage, bacon and hash browns along with coffee. All this on the morning I was supposed to be seeing my shrink who was trying to make me quit alcohol, or at least reduce it? Sheesh!
Sheeba came in wagging her tail with gusto; if I was in bed till noon she knew I wasn’t going to work. If I wasn’t going to work then it was playtime for her. How could the poor thing know that her master could barely walk, let alone play? So I offered her the best alternative — I got her in my bed, cuddled her and snoozed for a few more hours.
I finally woke up to find the body rested. The head still wasn’t totally clear but clearer than what it was at noon. The greasy food had done some good to my system. Sanity was on its way back.
And then the phone rang.
‘Hi Jay, are you coming to see Anita today at six?’
It was the honeyed voice of Manavi. My Manavi.
‘Shit, what time is it?’
‘It’s five-thirty, Jay. Are you okay?’
Something in my voice must have indeed given away that I wasn’t.
‘Oh, I must have overslept a bit.’
‘Just a bit? It’s five-thirty in the evening, sweet cheeks. You sure you’re okay?’
‘Sorry, I was partying last night and only came home in the morning.’
‘That must be some party — why wasn’t I invited?’
‘Boys’ night out.’
‘So can you make it here by six?’
‘Is it possible to reschedule for later by any chance?’
‘She can’t do any later today. Anita wanted a two-hour session with you and if you‘re not here by six, I’m not sure it’s going to work. Hold on, let me check with her.’
I heard the synthesised sucker music when she put me on hold. Sheeba was back in the room. So was Bahadur with another cup of hot black coffee. I gestured to him to draw the curtains and let the daylight come in; well, whatever was left of the day now. Manavi was back on the line.
‘Unfortunately, as I mentioned she cannot do today. She can do ten, tomorrow morning. Does that work for you?’
‘Yes, please. And please apologise to her on my behalf.’
‘I’ll pencil it in. And that’s not all; I’ll make sure you make it on time, sweet cheeks.’
‘How?’
‘Because I’m coming over.’
‘Now that’s what I call full-service.’
‘Early dinner on the patio and then we’ll make love.’
I flushed red. Cooper was right in a way. I was too conservative for Manavi. She was the one saying my lines.
‘Should I send Bhīma to pick you up?’
‘Nope. I’ll be there by seven. Why don’t you have a shower and wash up by then?’
‘Good idea.’
‘See you soon.’
Click.
I pulled myself out of my bed with great effort and then struggled into the shower and let the water rain on me for more than half-an-hour, then shaved and got dressed for my love.
She arrived on time. Always fresh like a just plucked flower, she was dressed in a white uneven hemmed dress that provided fluidity to the flow. She had added a tan leather belt to define her flawless silhouette. The lace-up sandals added four inches to her height. Gorgeous. I wondered how much longer I would have the pleasure of seeing her.
She kissed me on my lips when we embraced.
It was a sublime evening. The food by Bahadur was amazing as always. I ate like a pig; my stomach or, maybe, the liver needed it. The love-making was earth-shatteringly good — with some alcohol still in my system my libido was heightened and reflected in my performance. I have to admit this was the best lovemaking in my life so far.
Maybe I would’ve savoured it all the more if I knew — but I didn’t — that this was the last time I had made love to Manavi. No regrets though. I had saved the best for last, albeit inadvertently.
We lay in bed, naked.
‘You look excited,’ Manavi turned towards me with her head elevated by her arm. Her other arm played with the greying grass on my chest.
‘I am.’
‘May I ask why?’
‘I am excited to have you next to me, sweet cheeks.’
‘Ha, liar! They say you shouldn’t lie immediately after making love. Are you withholding something from me?’
‘Not at all. It’s just that I’ve cracked the all-important case that I am currently arguing in court. It should all be over on Monday, I think.’
‘Great.’ She bent down and gave me a kiss. ‘Well done you, congratulations! Don’t worry, I won’t ask for details.’
‘Thanks. Sweet cheeks.’
Cooper was bloody wrong. This was bliss. This was true love. How could the age difference be any deterrent between two people who love each other? We still understood each other. After all, Lady Gaga mu
st have listened to Queen’s Radio GaGa for inspiration. What did that old fool know?
‘Are you sure you want to see Anita before your big day at court?’
‘Why should that be an issue?’
‘Don’t know, I was just wondering. Why not get over with the trial and then see Anita, just in case…’
That came as a surprise. First it was Anita being cryptic and now Manavi. What was it?
‘Nah. Unless you know something that I don’t and you’re holding something back from me—’
‘Nothing. I was just teasing you…’
Something in her tone didn’t feel right; she was definitely covering something.
‘Why do you say that? You’re making me nervy, Manavi.’ I turned towards her and elevated myself to face her.
‘Oh, forget it. I was just being a sentimental fool. After all, I’m a woman, and it’s our prerogative to be sentimental, isn’t it?
‘I love you, my girl.’ I consciously changed the “woman” to “girl”. ‘But what about you getting bored of an old dog like me?’
‘Maybe.’
She was a tease.
‘Marry me.’
No, I hadn’t planned to say this. Before I blurted out those two words; marriage hadn’t even occurred to me. But suddenly the fear of losing Manavi had taken over my mind.
‘What?’
‘I said, marry me.’
‘I heard that. Do you really mean it? Are you proposing to me?’
‘Yes and without concealing anything.’ I gesticulated towards both of us, lying bare.
We moved towards each other and kissed. She moved closer, put her head in the nook of my arm and we dozed off sometime around eleven, which by the last night’s standard was an early tuck-in for me.
Manavi hadn’t brought any change along. When I woke up she was wearing one of my shirts over nothing. She looked hot. I was still in bed when she came over and touched my lips with hers. ‘I love you, Jay. Promise me whatever happens, you will never stop loving me.’
She left before breakfast.
***
I had breakfast in my room jotting down all that I needed to do tomorrow — the day before I presented the Glock. It would be an uphill task to introduce a witness I hadn’t mentioned in the file I had handed over to Talwar. I’d have to send a request to Justice Nair at least an hour before the trial began, explaining why I was presenting a new witness at this stage of the trial. Okay, we found the Glock and subsequently traced the rogue who supplied it to Gina. The logical question would be: how and where did we find the Glock, which the entire police force had been looking for? I’d have to think of a plausible story there. So, what if we prove the gun was Gina’s? How did it exonerate Vinay Kumar? Kumar had already categorically refused to accept a manslaughter charge on self-defence. But, in light of what I knew now, and with the Glock in my possession it would be worth speaking to him again tomorrow. If he still declined my recommendation then, he wouldn’t be totally in the clear. However, it would be difficult for the prosecution to prove his guilt categorically either. If Gina owned an unlicensed Glock — the very Glock that was used to shoot her — then it presented an opportunity to anyone who visited Gina that night after Kumar left. It could definitely not be proved that nobody called on her that night. Worst case, Kumar might not be found innocent, but given the reasonable doubt he couldn’t be labelled guilty either. Of course, anything could go wrong, but that was what I’d tell him tomorrow — that was a chance he took if he wasn’t willing to plead guilty on account of self-defence.
I made my notes, called Bhīma and asked him to pass them on to a junior advocate in the practice to get it all typed up and be at Justice Nair’s chamber at nine on Monday morning to request him to allow a last-minute witness. And send the Glock over to the police station tomorrow night after the private ballistic expert gave a conclusive report. In any event, it was crucial evidence and it belonged to the State.
I washed, got ready in blue jeans and white-T — God I dressed like a younger man these days — and left for Anita’s clinic.
‘Bhīma, we’ve got a lot to accomplish between now and tomorrow evening if we want to win this case,’ I reiterated to him in the car as if the big man didn’t know. My biggest worry was that in light of this new evidence and the plea to present a witness last minute, Talwar might ask for an adjournment. Tricky.
THIRTY-ONE
I walked into Anita’s clinic two minutes before the appointed hour, paced up to Manavi’s desk and blew her a kiss. So bold! She looked every bit a professional and not the siren that was with me the night before.
‘Good morning, again.’
‘Good morning, Jay. Anita’s waiting for you,’ she said with a mischievous smile, pointed towards the door.
The aroma of fresh coffee was the first thing that hit me when I got in Anita’s therapy chamber.
‘Good morning, Jay,’ she said looking up at me and smiled as she poured the coffee. ‘I’m glad you could make it.’
‘I sincerely apologise for the goof up yesterday, I didn’t mean to miss the appointment, but I was totally zonked out when your assistant called.’
‘Apology accepted. Or should I say it was accepted last evening itself.’ Anita gave me one of her customary disarming smiles that I was now familiar with.’ Coffee — black, no sugar, as usual?’
‘Yes please. Thanks.’ I slumped into the easy sofa I had got used to relax in whenever I was in her office.
‘So how are you feeling today, Jay?’ Anita took her therapist chair next to me. I noticed she didn’t hold her ubiquitous pen in her hand, only a thin folder.
‘Same old, same old. A bit excited, as I believe we’ve got a breakthrough in the current case, but otherwise everything else is the same.’
‘Still drinking as much?’
‘Sometimes, yes. Anita — what is this about? Why do I get a feeling that you have some rather significant news that you want to tell me but you’re being ambiguous or withholding it?’
‘No, I won’t withhold anything, that wouldn’t help.’
‘Okay then, give me the bad news… why do I drink? And then tell me the mantra: what can I do to quit?’
‘Who said anything about bad news? First off, there’s no bad news. Secondly, I have no magic potion that I can sprinkle on you and make you a teetotaller.’ She shrugged to make it sound frolicsome when she had said it in all seriousness.
‘I didn’t mean…’ I didn’t know what to say next. Anita — and Manavi — had hyped up this meeting to such a crescendo that impatience was getting the better of me. I decided to keep quiet for a while.
‘Thanks for asking Bhīma and Akbar Ali to have a candid chat with me. It was really very helpful.’
‘Well, it was up to them. I only requested them as I knew I would be the one who’ll benefit, not them.’
‘You will have to excuse me here, because I did some further digging into your past without your explicit permission. All in good faith though.’
‘Carry on, Anita.’
I couldn’t care less if she dug around for dirt on me. I — and I mean Bhīma and his men — did that all the time without any permission obviously and therefore I should be the last person to object.
‘Okay then. Let’s go back to you first year at college. Do you remember any one particular incident that you found really difficult to recover from or even come to terms with?’
Where was she headed? How far back was she looking to go?
‘Nope. The only such incident that I can recall is the dreadful night we’ve already spoken about, but that happened right after my third year. True, it is something I have lived through and never recovered from.’
She nodded. ‘I know about that, and we’ll come to that in a minute too.’
‘Could I have some water please?’
What was it with me? Was I scared of where she was taking me? Did I know which memory was she asking me to dredge up? Was I stalling by asking for water?
‘Yes, of course.’
She had a small refrigerator under her desk that I didn’t know of. She pulled out a bottle of chilled Bisleri from it. ‘Do you need a glass?’
‘No. This should be fine. Thanks.’
I quaffed down the bottle in two large swigs. We settled into the routine again.
‘Sorry, you were saying…?’ I broke the silence.
‘I was referring to an incident that happened in your first year at college. Maybe not any longer, but was there something that you regretted for a long time?’
Not sure how many of you have even heard of a View-Master, but at this moment it was like I was staring in it — frame by frame and each frame was vibrant — at another sordid incident that had truly occurred during my first year at college and it seemed like recurring now: five of us freshmen in the first term sat drinking in Bihari’s place — we called him Bihari as he came from the eastern state of Bihar — but the guy’s name escaped me at the moment and something told me it wasn’t of import here. We had split sometime after midnight and walked to our respective rooms in separate wings of the hostel. And though all five of us were close friends, it was one of them who I was thick with and his room was across the swimming pool. The janitor had found his body floating in the pool the next morning. I could never get over it. For the next few months all I thought was if only I had walked with him that night, the outcome would have been different. Whether he slipped that night or just went in for a dip, in the intoxicated state that he was in, we will never know.
I could feel that Anita could see pain enter my eyes, but I stubbornly stopped it from flowing out by strongly ebbing away any moisture.
‘But what does that prehistoric incident have to do with anything?’ I blurted out.
‘Maybe nothing, but I need to make sure of everything. Hope you don’t mind?’
‘Not at all, please carry on.’
If nothing else, she had aroused my curiosity to such a heightened level that I was happy I wasn’t a cat. For my own sanity I wanted to hear her logical deduction.
‘So do you remember a friend of yours drowning?’
‘Yes, I do. It isn’t a memory I prize, which you can well appreciate.’