When she opened her eyes, a man was staring over her. He frowned at her but he didn’t say anything when he realized that she was awake.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m Mr. Jacobs’ landlord. I don’t think you’re on the lease.”
“You’re not supposed to be in here….”
“You know what Miss, you have to leave. I heard the awful news. Kevin’s uncle called me this morning and said that he would pay me if I packed up all this stuff by the time he came later today.”
“So soon?”
“Yep.”
“Do you have his uncle’s number?”
“No. You have to go. If not I’m going to have to call the police.”
Joy lifted herself on her elbows. Her entire body hurt and she didn’t want to move. She swung her legs over the side and got out the bed. She was glad that she was still fully dress because the man never took his eyes off her. He watched as she gathered her stuff.
“Can I at least use the bathroom?”
“Go ahead.”
As soon as she closed the door behind her, she broke down crying. She didn’t care if the man heard her. She couldn’t believe that Kevin was gone. It was so much he didn’t know. He didn’t know that she came back. She had nothing to even remember him by. What would she tell her daughter when she asked about her daddy? As she finished using the bathroom and washing her face, the man banged on the door.
“Alight I’m coming.” She wanted to punch the man in his mouth.
She walked out the bathroom passed him. He followed her into the living room. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned, “You don’t have to follow me. I’m leaving asshole.” When she stepped down the first step, she felt a sharp pain run through her stomach. She continued to walk. She doubted that if she called a cab it would arrive in time. She felt like the inside of her vagina was on fire. She sat on the steps, but that made it worst. She dialed 911 and told them operator she needed an ambulance. She managed to give the address before the pain became too bad. She couldn’t stop moaning and gritting her teeth.
Chapter Seventeen
When the paramedics arrived, Joy was at the bottom of the step clutching the rail. On the way to the hospital, Joy felt a strong sensation and then wetness run down her legs. The pain got worst and she couldn’t take it, she screamed. After the paramedic noticed that Joy’s water broke, he removed her pants. When he looked to see how much she was dilated, he yelled to the driver, “You have to go faster, I can see the head.”
Joy freaked out. “What am I going to do? It’s too early,” she shouted. The paramedic tried to calm her down. He told her to hold her breath and push. She leaned back screaming, refusing to push. Joy paused her breath though. That worked for a few seconds. It was like her body worked against her, she pushed. She pushed again and the baby came right out. Joy felt such a relief until she realized that she didn’t hear the baby crying like in the movies.
She opened her eyes to see what was going on. She watched as the paramedic, cleared the baby’s airways. He performed the CPR as tears ran down Joy’s face. “I can’t lose you too,” she whispered. She said it over like five times in a row, like a prayer. Seconds passed and finally she heard her baby’s yell of life.
They arrived at the hospital. The baby was rushed to intensive care and Joy rushed to Labor and Delivery. After making sure that everything came out, she was taken to her room. The baby was so small that Joy didn’t need any stitches.
“When can I see my baby?” Joy asked the nurse.
“I have to call down there. The doctor may want to come talk to you first but I’ll let you know. The bracelet on your arm matches your daughter. You have to keep on until the baby leaves. That is the only way you can visit her in intensive care. As soon as I find out I’ll let you know.”
The nurse left and Joy laid back against the bed and closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe everything happened so fast. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Her legs were shaking. She held on the end of the bed to get her balance. She wrapped another gown over her, to cover the back and headed towards the nurses station.
She didn’t see her nurse, but there were two nurses sitting there talking.
“Can I help?” one nurse asked.
“Can you tell me where the intensive care for babies is?”
“It’s the floor below us. The elevators are straight and to the right.”
Joy walked in the direction the nurse told her. When she reached the floor, she became nervous and her heart sped up. When she walked to the hallway outside the intensive care, there were other people standing there. She saw that they all had on yellow gowns. She went to the cabinet and took out a gown and put it on. She stood there, unsure about what to do next. The door opened and some people walked out and the people in the hall went in next, Joy followed them. They checked her wristband and asked her last name. She had to wash her hands and arms up to the elbow. The nurse then led her to “Baby girl Williams.”
Joy looked at the baby’s face and broke down. She was so tiny. The paper on the crib read 1lbs 7oz. The nurse asked the baby’s name but Joy ignored her. Joy’s bottom lip trembled, as the tears fell. She couldn’t tell which daddy the baby looked like. She knew that the baby was beautiful.
The tears made everything blurry. She backed up, slowly. She went to the door and went out. Once she got back to her room, she found her clothes and put them on. She checked in her bag to make sure her money was there, it was. She stuck her head out the door. The nurses’ station was empty, except for one person. Keeping her head down, she walked to the other side of the hospital to get to the front door.
When she got to the corner, there were people everywhere. Joy knew she looked crazy, her hair was all over her head. She tried to smooth it down with her hand. She just wanted to go to a hotel. She didn’t want to go back to the apartment because she didn’t want to explain what happened if she saw Simone.
The bus came headed towards Frankford Terminal. Joy remembered the time she was there, after Josh tried to kidnap her. He was her first love. Even though he constantly mistreated her, Joy still loved him with all her heart. The day she accidently shot him, the love she had for him seem to die with him. She paid and went straight to the back to sit by the window.
At the terminal, she got on the 14 towards Neshaminy Mall. She thought that she would find a place to stay on Roosevelt Blvd. She went straight to the back and leaned her head against the window. In seconds she dozed off. She opened her eyes just in time to see that she was almost at the last stop. She signaled to get off. She only had to walk a little ways up the street where she found a motel.
“Can I help you?” the man behind the window asked.
“Yea, I need a room.”
“$5 an hour or $50 for the night.”
Joy gave him enough for the week. He gave her the key and a remote. She walked passed the vendor machines. They were almost empty. She was glad that there were stores in the area.
The smell of dust hit Joy as she stepped through the door of her room. She plunged down on the bed. She kept seeing the baby’s tiny face. She knew that she wouldn’t be a good mother. She wished that her mother would have did the same. The baby would be better without her. Her heart ached and she needed something to take her mind off everything.
Chapter Eighteen
It was only five-thirty. There was so much stuff that Joy needed, she decided to hop back on the bus to got to Wal-Mart. She didn’t care that none of the stuff was name brand. She grabbed jeans, shorts, tee shirts and underwear. She got all the toiletries she would need. She even grabbed snacks and stuff to eat and drink, since the room had a mini fridge and microwave.
By the time she made it back to the room with the bags, she felt beyond exhausted. She plunked on the bed on top of the covers and went to sleep. She slept the whole night and most of the morning. Her head pounded from too much sleep. She sat up. The first thing she wanted to do was brush h
er teeth and take a shower. She searched through bags and gathered everything she needed.
Joy didn’t know her next move but she figured that she would stay there until something came to her. Two weeks passed and still nothing came to her. She cried everyday. The only enjoyment she was that the bleeding stopped. During the time, Joy only left the room to go pay for another week.
She remembered she saw a beer place down the street. They said that they sold hoagies and cheese steaks; Joy went to check it out. When she walked in, all eyes were on her. She went to the counter and ordered a cheese fries and a burger. While she waited, she looked around at the different beers. She saw a case that said Twisted Tea on it. It was a 24 pack with different favorites. Joy decided to get that. She struggled with it up to the counter. After she paid for everything, she turned to leave. At the door she bumped into a man. He was about 6’3’’. Joy had to look up to see his face. He had smooth dark skin like a special dark Hershey bar. His eyes were unlike she’d seen before. They were perfectly round and a deep brown. His lips looked smooth and kissable. He was kind of husky but in a muscular way. He had long dreads that hung passed his shoulders. She didn’t even process his looks. She tried to continue pass him but he stopped her.
“Wait honey. You need help with that?”
Joy wanted to say no but shook her head yes.
“Where you taking this, to a party?”
“No I’m staying right there.” Joy said pointing in the direction of the motel.
“What? You got me carrying your shit so you can hook up with ya nigga.”
“Hold up….”
“It’s cool, I was just playing. You don’t even need to get upset.”
“Oh.”
When they got to the entrance, Joy reached for the drinks.
“I can carry them for you.”
“Thank you, but I’m good here.”
“I wont try to come in your room.”
“Aight.” Joy gave in, unsure.
He sat the case at the door for her. “Aight enjoy.” He said, and started to walk away.
Suddenly something about him interested her. “Wait.” she called to him. He stopped but didn’t say anything.
“You didn’t even tell me your name.”
“Wayne. Yours?”
“Joy.”
“Aight Joy, I’ll see you around.” He said and continued walking down the hall.
Joy went inside her room. She pulled the case up onto the dresser and opened it. She put some in the refrigerator to get cold. She turned on the TV and sat down to eat her food. She hadn’t watched too much TV. She didn’t want to see no babies or kids. Just the thought of seeing one made the sadness that now consumed her heart worst.
Joy had to turn the TV off and she couldn’t finish her meal. She was bored and lonely. She thought about Kevin and the baby all the time. She refused to give the baby a name. She just wanted to forget. She wished that she would had told Kevin about the money. Maybe he wouldn’t have gone to work that day.
She replayed the message he left over and over. She couldn’t believe that she would hear his voice again. She didn’t know if the baby was his or not. She even thought about going back to see her but couldn’t bring her self to follow through. She only had to close her eyes to see her face.
Chapter Nineteen
Joy could no longer stand to be in the room at the motel. She didn’t even have any more clean clothes. She was wearing her last clean pair of under wear. She had to buy a trash bag from the lady vacuum the hallway, to put all her stuff in. She sat on the bed and finished off the cooler she was drinking. She couldn’t remember how many she’d drunk. She wished that she had something stronger.
For days now, she’d been drinking case after case of coolers. She didn’t know how many trips she made to the beer place. Since her initial visit, she didn’t see Wayne. She wasn’t really attracted to him but, he seemed to be the only dude she met in a while that didn’t try to get at her.
She checked one last time to make sure that she got everything before she left. She had no place else to go but back to her apartment until she figured out what else to do. She still had the money. She knew that if she saw Simone, she would notice that Joy wasn’t pregnant anymore. She would just tell her that she lost the baby and leave it at that. She would act like she was too upset to explain what happened.
As Joy walked to the bus stop, she heard someone beep at her. She turned and looked in that direction but then kept walking. She heard someone yelling, “Aye.”
She sucked her teeth. This dude won’t give up. Then she felt him tap her on the shoulder. “Hold up,” she turned around and was surprised to see it was Wayne.
He looked different. He had a low cut. His dreads were gone.
“I didn’t even know that was you. What happened?” she asked, pointing at his head.
“I needed a change,” he said simply, like it was no big deal to him.
Joy studied his features. She could tell that he was at least in his mid thirties.
“I’m surprised to see you still here. I was driving by here on the way to pick my daughter up from the movies, when I spotted you.”
“Oh.” Joy said.
She looked in time to see the bus coming, but she wasn’t even close to the stop. She was mad that he made her miss the bus but didn’t show it. When she turned around, he was staring at her. She became self-conscience. Her clothes were wrinkled. Her hair pulled back into a ponytail.
“Yo, you need a ride somewhere?” he asked, breaking the silence.
“Yeah,” Joy wasn’t trying to wait for another bus.
They hopped in his car. He had a two door Nissan Sentra. Outside his car showed it’s age but on the inside everything appeared new. He had leather seats and plush carpet on the floors. The dashboard was wood and he had a CD player with a radio that named each song and artist that came on.
“Which way you headed?”
“Cottman and Bustleton.”
“Ok.”
He drove off in that direction. They were headed in the opposite direction of the mall. He said that he was picking up his daughter. Joy wondered if he was lying or was he making his own daughter wait, just to get at her. She dismissed it and decided she didn’t care one way or the other.
He turned the music up so loud that Joy felt the bass in her ears. He was playing some old school rap; singing along word from word. Joy was glad that he was doing like 80 the whole way because she couldn’t wait to get out the car.
Just when Joy thought she couldn’t take the noise any more, he turned it down.
“So where you headed?”
“Cottman and Bustleton.”
“Yea I know. But like to your man’s house or something?”
“No.” Joy kept it short. She didn’t understand why he just didn’t ask if she had a man or not. Instead of trying to get her to tell him.
“You stay out there?”
“Yeah.”
“You kind of quiet.”
They had reached Joy’s destination.
“Wait.” he said when Joy went to open the door.
“Is there something wrong with me?” He asked.
Joy wanted to say yeah but shook her head no.
“I know you know I’m trying to get at you, but you acting like you’re not interested. What you got a man?”
“No. I’m just going through some things.”
“You girls kill me with that. Why can’t yall be real?”
Joy didn’t answer him. She was lost in thought. She was thinking about just hopping on Greyhound and starting over some place else.
“Yo, you heard me?”
“No. What you say?” Joy said, her voice deflated.
“Can I get your number? Maybe if we talk, you’ll see I’m really a good dude.”
Joy gave him her number only because she didn’t know anyone else. She reasoned that he might become useful in the near future.
“I can take you to your house.�
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“I’m good here.”
She got out of the car and crossed the street. She walked into the Sears and loaded a cart with everything she could think that she needed for her apartment. She even brought a blowup mattress to use until she got a bed. She spent over $1700. With no way to get it home, she pushed the cart all the way home.
It took several trips to take everything in her apartment. She took her time and put everything up. She then realized that she left her bag in Wayne’s car. She might have talked him up, she thought, looking at the screen on her phone. The number was blocked.
“Hello.” Joy answered.
“Yo, What you doing?”
“Nothing.”
“You want to get something to eat?”
“Umm, sure why not.”
“I’ll be there in a hour.”
Joy hung up and jumped in the shower.
Joy was dressed and ready in 30 minutes. She didn’t ask where they were going because any place was better than being cooped up in the house. When he called and said he was outside, Joy went out and got in the car. She never questioned the fact that she didn’t give him the direction to her apartment building.
Chapter Twenty
They rode in silence, no music, no talking, nothing. Joy started to ask where they were going, when Wayne asked, “Do you want to get out this heat?”
Joy thought that was a weird question to ask but answered yes. Three blocks later, he pulled over and parked the car. He jumped out of the car. Joy looked around for a few seconds before she got out. Wayne was already at the front door to a house. He took out some keys and opened the door. Joy followed him in. She didn’t understand why they were here but she didn’t ask any questions.
She sat on the sofa. The first thing she noticed was how neat everything was. The hardwood floors shined, not one drop of dirt or dust. The mirrors and the glass tabletops were the same. It was a row home, so everything was on the same floor. Joy watched Wayne in the kitchen, pouring them something to drink.
Nookie's Secret (Nookie 2) (Nookie Series) Page 6