by Kip Nelson
“Sounds good to me. It's funny, so many people have died, yet, somehow, I knew you still would be out there. Just didn't think you'd come back.”
“You know I had to come back. Took too long as it is. It's hell out there, Bob. So many people have lost sense of who they are...who they should be.”
“And you?”
“I know exactly who I am,” she said, meeting his gaze.
“What about the people you're with?”
“I vouch for them, just the same as I vouched for you to them. They're good people. Something that is all too rare now.”
“You can say that again,” Bob said, and the two of them fell into silence.
There was a time when Maggie had considered him a close friend, but so much had happened. Now she almost was afraid to ask him the question that had been burning in her mind ever since she had been on that freeway and seen the world end before her eyes. But she didn't need to ask the question. Bob knew her well enough to know exactly what was on her mind.
“You came here to ask about him, didn't you? About Tristan?”
Maggie found herself nodding, and trying to quell the sadness that was welling up inside her as she thought of him. Bob sighed, and his reticence to answer caused Maggie's sadness to grow, threatening to bloom into grief, anger, and guilt.
“Is he...?” she began, unable to finish the question.
“Dead?” Bob said, finishing it for her.
“No, no, he's not dead.” A wave of relief spread through her body like a calming wave, but Bob had not yet finished speaking.
“But he has gotten himself into trouble, mixed up with a bad crowd. I'm sorry, Maggie. I tried finding him, but it was too late.”
“Where is he?” Maggie asked.
“I can't tell you, Maggie. It's too dangerous. I know what you're like, but you can't go and find him. You'll be killed. He's made his choice, and we're all going to have to live with that. Things have changed.”
“Tell me,” Maggie said, but Bob was resolute in his refusal to talk. He showed Maggie out of his office, leaving her to wallow in turmoil.
Her mind was alive with so many feelings, but the prevailing one was guilt. If she just had stayed in the city and been with him, then this never would have happened. Whatever Tristan did it was her fault for leaving him, for always putting other things before him, even though she knew it was wrong. Now it seemed as though it was too late to make up for it. He was out there somewhere, so close and yet so far...and despite Bob's warnings, Maggie didn't think she could deny her instinct to go looking for him.
THE FIRST THING Hank wanted to do when he was given license to roam was to see if the people had had time to form a place of worship. Grace tagged along with him. He'd noticed she tentatively was asking more and more questions about his faith and his reasons for believing in the things he did. It wasn't the first time he had noticed someone exhibiting the same behavior. He had counseled many people when they had lost their faith, which was a traumatic experience, but gaining faith after a lifetime of absence from it could be just as challenging. Hank was glad he was there to help the young woman through it. Grace seemed as though she had been through a lot, and Hank hoped he could offer her some guidance that would help show her the way through these dark times. He was sure there were many people who needed such guidance, and was glad God had guided him to this city where he could be put to use.
“Do you really think people will have spent time making a church or something when there are more important things to do?” Grace asked. Hank smiled at her question.
“For some people faith is more important than anything else. Especially in times like these. I'm sure we'll find something,” he said, and they walked around the compound, smiling and talking to people.
Hank still wore his collar. It was easily identifiable and helped start conversations with people. He spoke calmly and with kindness, and although a few people looked upon them with caution, which was to be expected when there was so much uncertainty around, many of them were happy to talk and pleased to meet new people. It was difficult to determine the population as people were busy going about their business, but it seemed to be a healthy size.
When Hank asked if there was a place of worship he was pointed to a small nondescript building tucked away in the corner of the compound. He and Grace walked over to it and entered. The building contained a dim, sparse hall. It seemed as though these people had more space than they knew what to do with. At the end of the hall was a stage, and around the sides hung posters advertising various events that never would take place, for they obviously had been placed there before the world had ended.
A few people were kneeling and praying on the floor, and as Hank and Grace entered one woman noticed and approached them.
“Hello, I'm Mindy,” she said, smiling at them. Hank introduced both himself and Grace and said they were new to the settlement, and he had been directed here.
“In that case, welcome, and yes...after everything that happened some of us thought it was best to set up a place of worship where people of faith could congregate and pray and have their time with the Lord...or whomever they believe in.”
“You mean anyone can come here?” Grace asked, surprised.
“Oh, yes. What happened was terrible and it only reminded us that we have so much in common, and we shouldn't try putting up barriers between us. It seemed silly to have different buildings for different people, so those of us who wanted this place decided to make this hall a place where all could be welcome. We do have services, and try focusing on a message of goodwill to all people, and acceptance for those who seek it. Everyone is welcome here, although if you are looking for a specific religion, there are people who worship privately.”
“Who leads your services?” Hank asked.
“At the moment, we have been taking turns, although I must admit it has been difficult as there isn't anyone here who has been properly ordained,” Mindy said. Her voice was soft, and she seemed calmer than most of the others Hank had seen around.
“Well, if you wouldn't mind the intrusion, I would be happy to conduct some services. Ever since this happened I've been a preacher without a church.”
“That would be wonderful!” Mindy said, her face lighting up with delight at the prospect. “And what about yourself?” she said, turning to Grace.
“Oh, no, I'm, um...I'm not anything like that, I'm just tagging along with him, trying to make myself familiar with the layout of this place,” Grace replied.
“Okay, well, everyone is welcome and I'll let you know the times we have services. There's always somebody here, though, as we wanted it to be open all the time.”
“That's a good idea. You never know when people are going to need to talk about their problems. There are so many people in pain right now,” Hank said.
“Indeed, there are.”
“Have you had a lot of people come here?” Grace asked.
“Oh, yes. A lot of people have turned to faith for respite from this world,” Mindy replied.
“I would have thought people would turn away...”
“God didn't do this,” Mindy said, “we did, but by talking to Him and getting closer to Him we can ask for his forgiveness and we can emerge as more complete people. And by doing so, we can get closer to each other as well.”
Hank smiled at her and thanked her, and made a point to make sure to talk with her later about how he should approach his sermons. Hank was tolerant of other cultures and had explored other religions, but he never had preached to any of them and didn't want to make any errors. He noticed Grace had a contemplative look on her face. “What did you think about what she had to say?”
“It makes sense, I guess. It's good that everyone can come here to share their faith, even if they believe in different things. I guess I always thought people only ever believed in one thing,” Grace said.
“In my experience, faith is fluid and it can flow like a river. We're all in a constant state of disc
overing new things about ourselves and exploring the world around us. We must be open to change and new ideas. Otherwise, we'll just stagnate. I've always believed the greatest gift God gave us was the ability to think for ourselves, and learn about the world he provided for us.”
Grace chuckled. “I always thought religious people were set in their ways.”
Hank smiled at the comment because it was not the first time he had been subjected to such stereotypes. “It's good to know some of us still can surprise you. I'm sure you'll be more than welcome to join us for the sermon. I'd appreciate having a friendly face in the audience.”
“I think I will,” Grace said, and Hank went off to speak with Mindy while Grace stayed at the edge of the room, remaining an observer for the time being.
FREDDIE AND SAUL left the others and walked around the area, although they had no direction in mind. From what they could see this settlement basically had taken a chunk of the city and cordoned it off. They had a number of buildings in their jurisdiction. People had set up fruit and vegetable gardens and tarps were used to collect rainwater. There was also what appeared to be a link to the river, so they had access to food and supplies. Everyone seemed to be friendly and they paid no mind to Freddie and Saul, who were walking about without an escort.
“So, how are you feeling now that we've arrived in the city?” Freddie asked.
“I'm a little calmer. Thanks, doc. I just got so tired of always having to stop everywhere and discuss everything. Sometimes I just want something to happen.”
“I'd have thought by now that you'd enjoy a quiet period.”
“Maybe. I hope that I can be of use here.”
“I'm sure you can. It seems as though they need able-bodied people to help them. You know, Saul, while this world does bring with it some bad things, and it makes you face aspects of yourself that you rather would turn away from, it also offers a new start. These people have no idea what you've done or who you've become. You can present to them a new Saul, the Saul you always have wanted to be and, well, I actually thought maybe you'd like to help me in offering counsel to whomever wants it.”
“Me?” Saul asked skeptically. “I'm hardly the reassuring type.”
“That may be, but you've been through a lot, and you're a perfect example of someone who knows what it takes to make it through this world. You can use those experiences to help other people.” Saul thought over his proposition and that he would think about it, although he still wasn't entirely convinced. The two of them continued strolling around.
“Is it weird to see the place like this?” Saul asked.
“Oh, yeah. I barely recognize it, and I used to walk through here all the time. I never thought anything like this would happen. I mean, you always used to hear people talking about the end of the world, but I never thought it actually would happen. Figured my life would just go on as usual...” he trailed off.
“Did you have some big plans that never will get to happen now?” Saul asked.
“That's the funny thing. I didn't in particular. My life was very...routine. There are things I would have liked to have done, but I wasn't saving up for anything special. It all seems so pointless now, all that struggle for money. I had a lot of clients who were trying to find a purpose in their lives other than the accumulation of wealth, and now I suppose they have the opportunity to do so.”
“And you still have your purpose, helping other people. Listen, I'm not that good at talking about these things, as you know, but I wanted to thank you for helping me through this. I know I can be difficult, and I'm glad to have you around to keep me on track. You came along at the right time. I think Mack was just about ready to crack me around the head with all the trouble I was causing him.”
“It's okay. It's nice to be needed again, and actually do my job. These things put us all under strain, and Mack's no different.”
“Neither are you. If you ever want me to return the favor, I'm here to listen,” Saul said. Freddie looked at him with genuine appreciation, and both of them recognized in that moment that they had become true friends.
ALTHOUGH MACK WANTED to explore the settlement, he had to spare a moment to look at Anna's picture again. The photo had become dog-eared, creased, and tattered due to everything Mack had gone through since the plane crashed, but through it all he still could see her shining smile come through. The worst fear he had was forgetting what Anna looked like. It already had been months since he last had spoken to her, before he boarded the plane, and their time apart easily could turn into years...or forever. He closed his eyes and strained to remember the sound of her laugh, the way his name sounded as she whispered it beside his ear, her warm embrace, and the way she smelled as he buried himself in the nape of her neck. It was so painful to remember those things that he was deprived of, and it put in a state of sweet anguish. He inhaled deeply and took one last lingering look at the picture before placing it back into his pocket. Then rose from the bed to walk outside into the settlement, where he found Luis standing around.
“Are you okay?” Mack asked.
“Yeah, I'm just wondering what we're supposed to do now we're here. I mean, what's the mission? Is there somewhere else we're going to try getting to?” he said, pacing frantically around the front of the apartment complex.
“You really don't like staying in one place too long, do you?” Mack said.
“Is it that obvious?” Luis said, trying to smile, but failing. “I'm just struggling to figure out what's keeping me going. You have the quest for your wife. I'm just...I'm just making it, day by day, and I have no idea where I'm going to end up. Sometimes I like the freedom of it all, but other times I find it so suffocating, if that makes sense.”
“It does,” Mack said, “and don't worry, even before this most people had to deal with that.”
“You didn't.”
“No, but I was in the army. I wish I had some better words of wisdom to give you, but I don't know how things are going to work out here. I don't even know how I'm going to get to Anna from here. She's halfway across the country. In some ways, I'm just as worried as you, but I'm the leader and I don't have the luxury of showing it.”
“I guess I never thought about that.”
Mack placed a hand on his shoulder. “Just try not to think about it too much. Think of what you should be doing, or who you should be, accept yourself and the world the way they are and you'll be a lot happier. For now, we have this new place to explore and new people to meet. Let's focus on that and enjoy the experiences that come with it. It's certainly better than being held prisoner in a mental institution.”
“You got that right,” Luis said, and the men shared a laugh.
Then Luis excused himself and said he was going to catch up with Grace. So, Mack left him to it and took a stroll himself. He was going through the park, enjoying the stillness of the world for a few moments, when he noticed Maggie storming out of City Hall. When she caught sight of him, she slowed her pace, but did not change direction.
“Did you have a nice catch-up with Bob?” Mack asked.
“Not exactly,” Maggie replied as she fell into step beside him.
“I suppose this must be strange for you, to be back here, even though it's so different.”
“You can say that again.”
“Did you talk to Bob about the person you're looking for?”
“What makes you think Bob isn't the person I'm looking for?”
“The way you two reacted when you saw each other wasn't exactly a joyful reunion. Are they here? Whoever you're looking for?”
“No... he's not,” Maggie said.
“I'm sorry. That's always the worst thing. I can't imagine what I would do if I returned home and I couldn't find Anna. If there's anything you need, just ask. I'm sure I can speak for the others when I say that we'll be happy to help you look for him.” He didn't add, 'if he's alive,' even though the words were on his tongue. Maggie looked surprised.
“Are you serious?” she
asked.
“Yes, why wouldn't I be?”
“Well, we haven't exactly been getting along well this whole time.”
“I have, you haven't,” Mack said, wearing a cheeky smile. Then he quickly added, “Besides, I still owe you for saving my life, and more than that, it's just the right thing to do for a friend.”
“So, we're friends now?” Maggie asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Seems that way from where I'm standing,” Mack said. Maggie nodded and looked at him once more, as though she couldn't quite figure him out.
“We'll see,” she said, and with that she walked away, leaving Mack alone in the park.
He stood still for a moment and took the time to make note of how different the city was, how quiet. There were the sounds of people walking and talking, but there was no ambient noise of vehicles driving by or the hum of lights, or the roar of planes as they flew overhead. The sky was clear as well, not polluted by the constant barrage of lights. In some ways, he had to wonder if the world actually wasn't better off for this having happened. Nature would be fine. It was only humans who were suffering.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
AFTER THEY HAD BECOME USED to their new surroundings, the group was impressed with what had been accomplished here. Even though the entire city hadn't rallied together, Mack still was pleased that at least some people had come together to form a settlement, and at how they were able to work together even in the darkest of times. However, he had been in a few different situations now, and he wasn't prepared to let his guard down completely, at least not yet.
So, as he met various people and wandered around the settlement, he examined everything with a cold, dispassionate stare, trying to find any sign that something was amiss. The last thing he wanted was to have led his group into the jaws of death, and not find out until it was too late. Although his nature was to trust people, he also wanted to make sure he was making the right decision. So far in this new world the instincts he so relied upon had not been as infallible as he would have liked. He still was haunted by the mistake he had made at the mental institution where he had betrayed the good doctor.