“I was hoping you’d say that.” He studies me for a moment, taking in every inch of me. His eyes on me makes me a little nervous.
The sound of someone clearing his throat breaks his stare. “Drinks, ma’am,” the waiter declares, placing the cocktail down in front of me.
“Thank you,” I reply, taking hold of the glass and gulping down the much-needed drink.
“Wow. You like that, huh?” Justin chuckles.
“Mmm-hmm,” I reply, taking another huge gulp.
“This creation is called 'love at first date.' You know, a token of tonight.” Almost choking on the drink, I force a smile, while inwardly rolling my eyes. This guy is no charmer, and all cheese.
“I think I need another one,” I tell him, my brows lifted and my eyes wide.
“Oh, sure,” he says with a fleeting smile. “I’ll go order more.” Making his way out of the booth, I watch as he walks over to the bar, chatting to the guy who just brought our drinks. The buzz of the alcohol makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Pulling out my cell phone, I check the screen. Blinking, I clear the haze in my eyes trying to focus on the screen.
“Getting drunk with a random guy to forget your problems is not the answer.” His deep voice catches my attention. I slowly lift my head, eyeing him suspiciously.
“You know, Brax, I don’t really like your attitude tonight, young man.” I point my wavering finger, pouting my lips at him.
“Jesus, you’re drunk already. You know how bad this is for my business. You, underage and drunk.”
“Noooo,” I say in a slow sarcastic voice. “Although I’m not sure what was in that cocktail.” I pick up the empty glass, sipping on the small amount left in the bottom. “Hey, and I’ll be legal soon, so quit your shit, Dad.”
“You should go home, before you do something you’ll regret.”
“Back off, Brax.”
Leaning forward, his hands slam on the table in front of me, causing me to jerk backward. “I care about you, Tara. Please, just listen to me.”
“No,” I whisper.
“Hey, Brax,” Justin calls from behind Brax. He turns, stepping out of the way, allowing him to place the drinks down on the table. I watch as Justin offers his hand to Brax, and he pulls him in, whispering something into his ear. Justin nods, swallowing heavily. Without saying another word, Brax turns away from us, making his way back over to the bar.
“What did he say to you?” I ask, gulping down the second cocktail.
“Nothing for you to worry about.” He smiles. “Hey, slow down. We have all night to drink cocktails.”
Rolling my eyes, I step up from the booth. “I’m going to the bathroom,” I inform him.
He nods his head and I can’t help but notice how his eyes dart to Brax. Pushing my purse under my arm, I walk over to him. His forearms are resting against the bar, his back to me. Reaching up, I tap him heavily on the shoulder.
“What did you say to him?” I ask, my words slurring a little as the alcohol takes effect.
“Go home, Tara,” he mutters with a shake of his head.
“Urgh,” I growl, stamping my foot and charging toward the entrance. I need fresh air, and quick. Slamming open the door, I move my feet until I’m standing against the wall of the building. With my back against the wall, I glance upward; the buildings opposite appear to sway. I place my hand against the wall as if to steady myself. “Shit,” I grumble as I try to open my purse to order a cab. Only the minute I take my hand from the wall, I feel completely unsteady, my legs buckling beneath me, causing me to crash to the ground with a thud.
The sudden presence of a warm hand on my arm, pulls me from the ground. I try to look, but it’s like my eyes won’t function properly.
“Get off me,” I murmur, thrashing my arms around.
“Stop.” His voice catches my attention and, suddenly, I’m no longer breathing.
“Nate?” I say slowly, blinking as his face comes into focus.
“Let’s get you home.” I feel him leading me toward a car, his warm arm wrapped around my waist.
“It’s you, it’s really you,” I gush, in my drunken haze.
“Uh-huh,” he hums. “You’re fucking killing me, Tara,” he whispers as he drops me into the seat of the car.
“I died inside the minute you said you didn’t want me,” I struggle out the truth. The alcohol makes it impossible to apply a filter and gives me this burning desire to be brutally honest with him. I’m drunk and beyond the point of caring.
“Don’t,” he mutters, slamming the door shut, jumping into the driver’s seat.
“Don’t what? Speak the truth?”
“I’m taking you home,” he bellows, avoiding my question. Sitting upright, I place a hand on both of the seats in front. Stretching my leg forward, I stand on the front passenger seat.
“What the hell are you doing?” he yells at me.
“Sitting up front. No one puts Tara in the back.” I laugh like the crazy, emotional drunk person I am.
“Belt,” he snaps, reaching over, grabbing the seatbelt, his face so close to mine. The ache between my legs and the beating of my heart makes me want to touch him. Placing both hands on his face, I draw his eyes to mine.
“I still love you, Nate.” I breathe out heavily and a look of pain appears in his eyes. It’s like I’ve just stabbed him in the heart, not declared my love for him.
Quickly clipping in the buckle, he drops back in his seat, breaking the connection. Pulling up my legs, I hold them there, staring at him as he sets off, the motion of the car almost too much. My eyes close and my head dips.
The next thing I know, my body is being lifted from the seat. Forcing my eyes open, I look at Nate staring back down at me. I don’t fight it; in fact, I lean into him, resting my head against his chest, relaxing into the comfort of his hold.
Tara
“Stay,” I croak, grabbing his arm as he lays me down on the bed. “Please don’t leave me.” I’m begging, and I know how pathetic I sound, but right now, I don’t care.
Sighing loudly, his eyes falter shut. “I want to. Believe me.”
“I remember how it feels when you touch me, Nate. Touch me again. Let me feel you.”
“I have to go,” he says, pushing himself up from the bed. I try to rush up from the bed. I may have had a drink, but I know exactly how I feel in this moment.
My head swims, but I won’t let it stop me. I dart in front of him, blocking the door. “I’m not letting you leave me, Nate.”
“Please,” he breathes.
I place my hand on his cheek, his eyes closing at the contact. “You say one thing, but your actions tell me something different. I know you want me… this.” I drop the strap of the lacy black dress, allowing it to drop in a pool around my feet.
“Fuck,” he says with a hiss, his eyes raking over my body, his hand thumping flat against the door. “We are from completely different worlds, Tara. You know this can’t work, and honestly, you deserve better than me. Better than the life I can offer you. I will bring nothing but hurt into your life, and that’s something I don’t ever want for you. I walked away because I had no choice, not because I don’t fucking want you.”
“Make love to me, Nate. One last time.”
He gives me a look, one full of confliction. “One taste of you, Tara, will never be enough. I will always want more.”
“Just tonight,” I say, reaching behind my back, releasing the clasp on my bra. Sliding it off, I throw it onto the floor, before leaning onto my tiptoes, placing my lips against his. I want this, and I want him too. I just need to make him realize how much he wants me.
His hand lands heavy on my neck, pulling me into him. He kisses me while my hands roam across his chest.
“You want me, don’t you?” I murmur against his lips. He pulls back, eyeing me warily. “Admit it, Nate. Let me hear you say it.” His eyes burn into me, so much I can feel the butterflies in my stomach.
“Fuck, I want you so bad,” he g
rates out, his jaw tense and his teeth clenched together. Everything inside me trembles at the admission he forces from his lips. Our mouths meet once more, crashing together in a mixture of haste and lust. His lips were made for me, as they connect together as one. My heart races and the fire sears through me as his strong, steady arms lift me from the floor. Carrying me back into the bedroom, he drops me on the bed. His look of wanting penetrates my half-naked body. He stands, removing every item of clothing he’s wearing. His cock springs free, and I can’t help but drop my head back, wetness growing between my legs in anticipation. Leaning over me, he peppers soft kisses along my neck. My arms wrap around his neck in an instant. He’s consuming me, and I can’t get enough of the feeling. His naked body presses against mine, my breast touching his chest, his huge erection pressing against my sex.
His mouth moves up my chin, his lips meeting mine once more. Kissing me slowly and softly, my body tenses at the contact. Parting my mouth, I press against his lips, deepening the contact. A groan escapes him as his hands roam across my smooth arms, causing them to instantly react with goose bumps. Eagerly, I press my mouth against his, wanting and needing more. His tongue works inside my mouth, unravelling me every time it makes contact with my own. I press myself against his dick, wanting him to fuck me so badly. I reach up for his hand, guiding it down between my legs.
“You need to feel what you’re doing to me,” I breathe. His hand slides inside the small scrap of material that stands between us.
Spreading my legs wide for him, he slides off me, positioning himself beside me. He takes in one of my hardened nipples, his hand pressing further between my legs. His mouth nips and teases my breast, while his finger finds my clit, working over and over in a circular motion. My body sways to his rhythm, writhing as the pleasure increases. He tugs on my panties, pulling them down my leg and I moan at the loss of contact. My hands fist the bedsheets, my head lifting to take in what he’s doing.
“Nate.” I call out his name.
“Hold on, baby,” he says, nudging my legs wider before pulling me toward the edge of the bed. He nibbles and nips at the skin on the inside of my leg, causing me to jerk a little at the sensitivity. His tongue works closer to my sex, my hands grabbing his hair as his warm, wet tongue makes contact with my clit. Sucking, he takes it in his mouth. My body tingles with the amazing sensation. My breathing is faster than before, and I can’t help but dig my nails into his scalp.
“Oh my God,” I moan a little louder than intended. Lifting my hips, it feels like every muscle deep in my core is tightening. He grabs my ass, sinking between my legs, now licking and lapping at my clit. My body moves involuntarily, and he uses every ounce of strength to still me. He intensifies the sensation, licking and lapping at me in a mix of fast and slow strokes. Dragging his tongue through my folds, he pushes it into my opening, before pulling back out again. Removing one hand from my ass, he flicks a finger through my drenched opening, sliding his fingers inside of me. His hot tongue continues to work over my engorged clit while he pumps inside of me. My body feels alive, all thanks to the man that not only makes my body tingle with excitement, but who makes my heart beat at a pace I’ve never felt before.
“Come for me,” his gravelly voice calls out. “I know you’re close, baby. I feel it, I feel all of it.” As he works me over and over, I can no longer fight back the building pressure. His finger swipes across my clit one last time, causing me to jerk as the explosive pressure works through my entire body. Every nerve ending is alive, my sex throbbing and my heart feeling full.
“So goddamn beautiful when you fall apart at my touch,” he murmurs, his face coming into sight. He darts his mouth to mine, his erection pressing against me once again.
“I want to feel you, Nate.” My words rumble against his lips and without any reply, I feel his cock, pressing against my entrance.
“Sit on me, baby.” His voice is strained, and I don’t hesitate. Rolling onto his back, I climb on top, his hands guiding me until I’m in the right position. I look at him, my vision not fully clear, but I can see enough to know that look he has in his eye. His lids are heavy and his gaze is wanton. He wants this, I know he does. And he’s not hiding it. Here I am, face-to-face with him, our skin pressed together as we mold into each other.
Reaching down, I grab his cock, positioning it against my entrance, before relaxing back against him. His impatient hands find my hips, guiding me up and down his cock. He’s big, and even though I’m aroused, it hurts. Fuck, it hurts so bad, but in a good way. Filling me completely, I press my hands against his chest as I rock slowly onto him.
“Fuck, Tara,” he groans loudly as I work a little faster with every movement. The more I relax into him, the more he thrusts upward, intensifying and deepening the contact.
“Fuck,” he growls. “Your pussy feels so good… so tight.”
Moans escape me, a mixture of pleasure and pain as he drives deeper into me. He drops one hand, his fingers finding my clit once more. As he circles it, I continue to rock on his cock. The feeling with him feels more intense, a little crazier than we have ever been before. Our eyes lock as we melt together as one. In this moment.
Everything in my core tightens, and I can’t believe how fast the pressure is building.
“I’m going to come,” I cry out, desperate to feel some relief from the pressure that just keeps on building. Nate knows exactly how to work my body, to get me to the point where I’m nothing more than a quivering wreck.
“Me too,” he breathes, thrusting upward one last time before clasping my chin with his free hand. Dragging my face to his, he kisses me as I come apart at his touch. My body is on fire, my legs weakening as he kisses me in a way he’s never kissed me before. Somehow, it has more meaning, more passion. Rolling me onto my side, he continues to kiss me slowly, as if savoring this moment. This kiss.
“I wish things were different,” he whispers against my lips. “Me and you together… it’s perfection.”
“Whatever the problem is, we can figure it out. Together. Me and you fighting for one another.”
“Shhh…” He strokes the loose strands of hair away from my face. “Let me enjoy you. Remember this moment forever.”
“I’m yours forever,” I murmur, the words barely coherent as I force them out. The emotion causes a lump in my throat, making it hard.
“No.” He clasps his eyes shut. “You deserve better than me, than anything I can offer you.”
“All I want is you,” I rush out, the sudden realization that, for him, this is goodbye, has a sobering effect on me.
Looking into my eyes, he recognizes the panic in them. They fill with unshed tears and I can’t control the tremble as my lip quivers. I’m trying hard, real hard, to fight back the emotion.
“I shouldn’t have come here. This was a mistake.” He sighs, falling onto his back. “I’m a selfish asshole.”
“Nate, I’m not a mistake… this, us… we’re not a mistake,” I choke out, leaning over him and placing my shaking hand on his rough cheek.
“I never meant to give you false hope, Tara. I gave in to wanting you.”
“Nate!” I yell at him. “Stop this. We are meant to be together. Whatever this issue is with your father, we can talk to him, get him to see how we feel for each other.”
“Fuck! Don’t you think I’ve tried? Don’t you know I would step away from it all just to be with you? But I can’t. He would kill me, or worse. He would hurt you to get to me, and I won’t ever let anything happen to you.”
“But, without you, part of me is dead already.”
“Baby, please,” he whispers, clasping the back of my head and pulling it to his chest. “This isn’t what I want, but it’s the way it has to be.”
“So, you’re giving up on me? On us?”
“This isn’t a fucking choice, Tara. It’s something I have no goddamn control over.” I snap out of his hold, pushing myself up and trying to cover my naked breasts with my arm. I’m shivering,
not because I’m cold, but because I’m scared and hurting.
“Listen,” he says, sitting upright and sliding off the bed. “I should go. It’s not right, me being here, making you think this changes things. Because it doesn’t change a thing, Tara. And I’m so fucking sorry. More than you’ll ever know.” Grabbing his clothes from the floor, he pulls on his boxers, quickly followed by his jeans. And there is nothing I can do. I sit, sobbing, tears rolling down over my cheeks as I watch the man I love get ready to leave. I want to jump up, beg, anything to make him realize that somehow, we can make this work. But deep inside my gut, I know that’s nothing more than a fantasy. That willing things to work out between us won’t change a thing.
Within seconds he’s walking out of the door, and I feel completely helpless. I grab a handful of the bedcover, pulling it to my face as I sob like a child. I’m a shell of the person I once was. My heart in tatters, my body aching as the pain thunders through me so violently.
Having him in my life isn’t a choice, it’s something I’ve become dependent on. I need him as much as I need air in my lungs. As much as I need my heart beating to keep me alive. I’ve tried. I’ve tried to exist without him, and I can’t.
My sobs come harder and louder. I can’t control the emotion that the pain in my heart is drawing from me.
Nate
Racing down the street, I’m going fast, way too fucking fast. I hit the brakes a little, the back end of the car screeching and kicking out. I fight with the rumble of the steering wheel to get it under control. My heart hammers loudly in my chest and I pull the car over. I shouldn’t be driving, I can’t fucking focus. I pull to the side of the country road, throwing open the door and falling from the seat. Adrenaline and anger course through me. I’m shaking violently as I try to get up from all fours. Only I can’t. The image of Tara, standing in front of me, the pain of her broken heart evident in her beautiful eyes, flashes over and over.
I’m weak.
The complete scars series: Books one-four Page 46