* * *
A few hours pass and I’m dressed, ready and waiting to see Nate. My stomach flips at the thought. I’m excited, yet terrified.
Sitting on the barstool, I lean against the counter, picking up my cell phone, dialing my mom’s number.
“Hey, honey,” she answers sweetly after a couple of seconds.
“Hey, Mom,” I reply.
“You settling in at home okay? I’ve been worried about you, Tara.”
“Please don’t worry about me, Mom,” I say, “but please be careful.”
“Me?” she guffaws. “Why would you say that, honey?”
“No reason. I just realized how much I need you in my life. I just couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you.”
“Well I’m not going anywhere,” she dismisses me quickly. “So, how’s the apartment.”
“Clean,” I say glancing around the open space. “Mom…” I trail off.
“What is it, honey?”
“Just wanted to say thanks.”
“Anytime,” she replies, but I’m caught off guard by the sound of someone hammering against my door. I let out a little shriek.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I sense the panic in her tone.
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” I repeat, rushing out. “Just a knock on the door that startled me, that’s all. I better go answer it, Mom,” I tell her stepping from the stool and rushing over to the door.
“Take care, sweetheart,” she says before ending the call.
Stepping onto my tiptoes, I peer through the peep hole to see Nate standing outside. I drop the bolt and the lock, opening the door. Rushing toward him, I wrap my arms around his neck. Burying my face into the crook of his neck, I inhale his familiar scent. A mixture of soap, leather, and a slight hint of tobacco.
“Hey,” he chuckles, lifting me from the ground and stepping slowly through the door. I’m overcome with emotion, fighting back the tears that threaten to break the seal. Months of wanting him completely yet feeling rejected. “Baby,” he says in a hushed voice, kissing me on the cheek. “I have someone who is dying to meet you.” Lowering me to the floor, I slowly lift my head, my eyes landing on the beautiful girl clutching her hands together standing outside my apartment door. I vaguely remember her from the first time I saw her at Nate’s studio. I swallow hard as the memories from that night flood my mind. Loosening my hold on Nate, my feet make contact with the floor. I won’t let my mind be consumed by the awful memories. I won’t let the bastard have that kind of control over me.
“Don’t just stand there,” I say teasingly, offering her a smile. I beckon her with my hand. A small smile tugs at her lips as she nervously steps toward me, holding out her hand. I take it, shaking lightly.
“Nice to meet you, Tara. I’ve heard so much about you from this one.” She points toward Nate and he cocks his head to the side, looking up at me through his dark, long lashes.
I glance back at the girl and a pang of jealousy hits me right in the gut. I look at her and wonder why she gets approval from Jeffries and I don’t. I want the whole world to know he’s mine, yet the only way I can have him is if he has a fake relationship with someone else.
“You’ll be glad to know I’m not staying,” she says, snapping me from my thoughts. She holds up a key in her hand and I draw my eyebrows together with confusion.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” Nate interjects. “Brax gave me the key to an empty apartment. Emily is going to hang there for a while.”
“Stay,” I say, walking past her and closing the door. “At least have a drink with us.”
“Sure,” she replies.
“Go take a seat, I’ll grab us a glass of something. Wine okay?”
She hums in response and I head back over to the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle, I open it and pour out a glass for her and one for myself. I’m startled when I feel the unexpected touch of arms wrapping around my waist. His warm lips find my neck and I can’t help but stiffen in his hold.
“We need to talk,” he whispers. “I need you to know how sorry I am. How I never wanted to push you away.”
Spinning on the spot, I turn to face him. I reach up, caressing my hand against his face. “You hurt me, Nate. But you’re here now, and I want this. More than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
“You have a stunning apartment,” Emily shouts. I look past Nate and notice her taking a look around the place.
“Thank you,” I reply, grabbing the glass, my eyes focusing on Nate. He’s a ball of tension and I know he has something on his mind.
“I’m going to make things right, baby. You gotta believe me.”
Biting the corner of my lip, I allow my eyelids to flutter shut.
“You got to talk to me, Tara.”
“Guys, I see you two have a lot of catching up to do. I’ll come for wine another time,” she squeaks, pointing her thumb over at the door as she begins to make her way over.
“I’ll call you,” Nate says in a monotone voice, his eyes glued to mine, and the door slams. Emily is gone and all that remains is me and Nate.
“Things are changing, baby. No more hiding. Just you and me together like we planned.”
“But your father…” I say gulping down the lump that has formed in my throat.
“I’m dealing with it. The crew are backing me and we are voting him out. I’m stepping up, Tara. I’m taking the chair.”
“President?” I scoff. Not because I don’t believe him but because I can’t see how. “Your father isn’t just going to give up his seat at the head of the table. You must know this.”
His hand wanders down my back before he grabs my ass, lifting me up and dropping me on the countertop. “We vote to end his reign as Prez, but we also have to vote on taking him out completely. I know he was behind the attacks on us. He’s working behind the scenes against the trust of his brothers. He has to go.”
I nod slowly, wrapping my hand around his neck, pulling his head toward me until our lips touch. My heart is pounding like crazy at the thought of all of his plans coming together.
“I want you there with me, Tara. Every step of the way.” His voice is husky and wanton. The tip of his nose rests against mine and his breathing is ragged. “I’ve spent months working and planning on making things right for us, Tara. It’s all you, baby. Without you, nothing makes sense.”
As the words I’d longed to hear leave his mouth, I can no longer hold back my need to press my lips against his and kiss him. I lean in, but before I can, his lips assault my mouth. I’m kissing him back. Pouring all of my emotion into this moment where our love reconnects. It’s been so broken for so long, that I’d forgotten how good it feels. And damn, it feels electric. My body trembles and I suddenly feel warm. So damn warm as his lips and tongue work in time with mine. My core tightens, but I remember what happened with his father and pull back. Tracing my fingers over my lips, I drop my eyes, unable to look at him.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, hooking his finger under my chin and raising my head until my eyes meet his. “You want this? Me?” His voice is deep and strained.
“I’ve never wanted something so much in my life. It’s just… I, uh, don’t want to get hurt again, Nate.”
“Hurting you was never part of the plan. I did what I had to do to keep you safe. To keep us alive.”
“I understand now. But at the time, the pushing and pulling away caused a pain that is hard to erase.”
“Fuck,” he says with a hiss. “Let me try, Tara,” he says in a low, husky voice. His hand works up my leg, his lips finding mine again. My senses are on overdrive and I want to be able to do this. I’m just not sure if I can. Can I open myself to the man I love after being raped by his father?
“It’s really happening,” he mumbles against my mouth as he places gentle kisses on my lips.
“What?” I ask, pulling back just enough to see the look in his eyes.
“Us. This. Together.” With each word, he gives a subtle nod. “
I had to cling onto the hope that we’d make it, baby. Because without you, it was all fucking pointless.”
A shiver tingles down my spine, goose bumps covering my skin as I fall deeper in love with the man I thought I’d lost.
“You really mean that?” I question, not because I don’t believe him, but because he’s always played his cards so close to his chest.
“All I feel is you, baby. Shit, you’re the first person that’s actually made me feel something other than hatred and anger in my entire life.”
Placing one hand on either side of his face, I pull him in, pressing my lips to his, kissing him intensely. Something feels wrong about me wanting to sleep with Nate. But I do, and my body is responding to his every touch. I didn’t choose to sleep with his father. That wasn’t sex. That wasn’t two bodies connecting together. No. What he did was abuse and the two are completely separate. Holding back from allowing myself to be with Nate would mean his father won. He would be achieving what he set out to do, and I’m not giving the asshole that satisfaction.
I wasn’t going to give it any more thought. I want Nate. Wholly, and completely.
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I hook my arms around his neck. Leaning in, I whisper into his ear. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”
Nate cocks a brow, lifting me from the counter and carrying me into my bedroom. Kicking open the door, he leads us over to the bed, dropping me down and holding himself above me.
“Nate—” I start, but he cuts me off, pressing his finger against my lip. Removing his finger, he replaces it with his lips, kissing me, sucking in my bottom lip. A groan escapes him. I drop my legs to the side and he presses against me, his thick, swollen cock pushing against my entrance. He reaches his hand up, grabbing a fistful of my hair, dragging my head to the side as he works kisses along my jawline and toward my neck. The soft kiss of his lips against my neck causes my pussy to pulsate. I’m so ready for him to touch me. I need to feel him. All of him. His hands drop, tugging at my jeans. I lift my hips, giving him the access he needs. Before I know it, they're being thrown on the floor, leaving me with just my panties on.
“I need to touch you.” His voice vibrates against my neck and it’s like he’s asking for permission. He pulls back and I look at the sparkle in his eyes. I give a light nod and he moves from my neck, pushing between my legs, ripping the small scrap of material that stands in his way. I glance down, watching as he dips his head between my legs.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he breathes, his warm breath against my sex. “Mine. All mine,” he mumbles seconds before his tongue flicks over my clit, causing me to buck my hips, the intensity tightening every muscle in my core. Working over the sensitive nub, my body heats as he sucks and tastes, dipping his tongue into my soaked entrance.
I’m wet and so fucking turned on. My body feels alive and buzzing. A feeling I’ve missed so much.
My moans fill the empty room, my hands gripping the sheets as I feel the pressure building. I writhe under his touch, thrusting myself against him, my body working in time with his rhythm. I drop my legs to the side, widening them as he attacks my sex.
“Oh… shit!” I groan, my head whips back and forth as I try to get my breathing under control. His fingers press against my entrance, causing me to whimper more.
The muscles inside tighten as his tongue sucks and flicks over my clit, his fingers working inside of me.
“Come for me, baby. I want to taste you.”
No longer able to hold on, I explode, my body stiffening as I ride through the tightening and spasms of my pussy. Grasping his hair, my head falls back, and I feel the palm of his hand flat against my stomach.
“So fucking good, baby.” He lifts his head, his face glistening with the juices of my orgasm. Standing from the bed, he drops his cut to the floor, removing his shirt. I sit myself upright, reaching for his belt, quickly undressing him. He pushes down his jeans, taking the boxers with them. His cock springs free and he fists it over and over, desire-filled eyes connecting with mine. I remove the rest of my clothes until we are both naked, panting and staring at one another.
“You’re gonna need to hold on, baby,” he groans. Taking his cock in one hand, he uses the other to push me back onto the bed, my hair splaying out around me. He lines his cock up with my entrance, working it up and down my folds. With his knees, he nudges my legs apart, spreading me before plunging in. I let out a moan as my desire trickles between my legs. His thrusts come faster as he pounds harder. My back moves against the mattress beneath me. I can’t get enough of him, of this moment, each thrust more satisfying than the last. Reaching up, I clutch onto his hair, pulling his head back until our eyes meet. We watch one another, neither one of us breaking the connection. I’m close to the edge, each movement pushing me closer. Tightening my legs in response to the intensity, I’m overcome as my orgasm grips me.
My muscles contract. The pulsating is fierce and I cry out in ecstasy. I lean forward, burying my head into the crook of his neck. Nate thrusts a few more times, with more force than before. He suddenly stills and I feel the swell of him inside me. A growl leaves him as he looks me in the eye.
“Fuck, you’re amazing,” he says, trying to catch his breath. His heart pounds against me, his sweat-covered skin touching mine. He kisses my mouth, his body collapsing beside me. I lie on my side, watching as his chest rises and falls. His arm covers his forehead and I can’t help the feeling of euphoria that buzzes through every cell in my body. I rest my hand on his toned stomach as he wraps his around me, pulling our naked bodies together.
“I ain’t ever gonna get tired of feeling this way, Tara. You. It’s all down to you.”
“I love you,” I mutter, kissing him on the cheek, over and over. “Stay with me, Nate. Please don’t leave.”
“You got it,” he replies squeezing my arm. “Let me make a few calls and I’m all yours.”
Kissing my forehead, he slips his arm from under me, pulling the edge of the bed cover and throwing it over me. Turning, I watch as he walks away. His toned ass complemented by the artwork that spans his entire back. The Savages’ crest in the middle, causes me to shudder a little. The realization dawns on me that this man, my man, will always belong to a world that I’ve only touched the surface of. My eyes follow him as he opens the door walking out.
“Shit,” I gasp as I notice the red scars on the back of his legs.
Halting, his face peers back through the door, his eyes wide. “What is it?”
“Your legs, Nate,” I say sitting upright, pulling the bed covers with me and holding them across my chest.
“It’s nothing,” he mutters glancing down at his legs.
“It’s not nothing,” I snap and I feel anger rising, tightening my chest. “Your father. He did that to you, didn’t he?”
“I don’t want you worrying about my father, baby. He won’t be a problem for much longer.”
Nate turns, ready to walk away from me. “He called me today,” I blurt out. His eyes narrow on me and before I know it, he’s dropping down beside me on the bed.
“The fuck did he want?” His voice is taut and almost a growl. His eyes darken and his jaw is tense.
Dropping my eyes, I’m unable to look at him. His hand grabs my jaw lifting my eyes until they meet his menacing stare. I know his anger isn’t directed at me, but he’s freaking me out.
“Me…” I croak. “He said he would hurt my mom if I didn’t give myself to him.”
Jumping up from the bed, he growls, “Motherfucker!” He paces back and forth, pushing his hand through his hair. He flicks his head to the side cracking his neck and pushing out his chest. He’s trying to control the rage.
“Don’t let him spoil tonight. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.” Kneeling up on the bed, I beckon him over to me with my index finger. The dark look in his eye lightens as rage is replaced by desire. His tongue darts out as his eyes take over my naked body. “Let’s enjoy tonight and worry about Jeffries tom
orrow.”
Stepping closer, he wraps his arms around my waist, and I tilt my head back to meet his gaze.
“I don’t know how you do it,” he mumbles, his gaze fixed on me.
“What?” I ask.
“Stay so strong. I’ve put you through hell, yet here you are. Accepting me and the shit storm I bring with me and the club.”
“I kinda have no choice,” I say with a chuckle. His eyebrows knit together and his eyes narrow. “Because love doesn’t choose the easy option. The heart wants what the heart wants. And my heart wants you. Shit storm or not!”
His palms cup my ass and he gives it a squeeze. “The fuck did I do to deserve you?”
With a lift of my shoulders, I give him a little tug until we fall back on the bed. We both laugh and for the first time in weeks I feel light. Like the weight of what happened to me has been temporarily lifted.
But I’m holding on.
Holding onto this moment with Nate.
Where my heart and mind are full of love.
Where I feel complete.
Nate
Sitting at church, looking at the other guys, I can’t help but feel nervous. What happens here, at the re-vote, could change my life forever. Leaning back in my chair, I grab my smokes, taking one from the packet and lighting while we all wait for my father to turn up.
Steps approach and our eyes dart to the door. As expected, my father and Silver walk in, taking the seats at the head of the table. I watch as he drops into his chair, swinging back and pulling one leg on top of the other. Picking up the gavel, he twirls it in his hand, his eyes glancing around the room, stopping on me.
“So, you called this fucking meeting. What’s on your mind, Son?”
“A head of the table re-vote. And a vote on making this Savage,” I say calmly.
His jaw almost drops and I see the pissed look in his eyes. Making this Savage means the member loses his life.
“No fucking way…” Silver snarls, jumping out of his seat and reaching for me across the table. “You stupid little prick. HE’S Prez, and nothing you can say or do will fucking change that.”
The complete scars series: Books one-four Page 62