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Complete Stories Page 53

by Kingsley Amis


  He enters the tent.

  MORRIS: What a night!

  NOLAN: At least we’re out of the wind in here.

  MORRIS: Did you hear we lost an officer last night? Major Willet. Dead of cold or exposure or whatever you call it.

  NOLAN: I can believe it. Do you know, I wish I was in Balaclava town this minute. They’ve got fires down there. Girls too for all I know. And liquor.

  MORRIS: I wish I was in Sebastopol, in the bloody fortress with the Russkis. Snug as a bug in a rug I’d be. With the occasional trifling inconvenience of a British shell possibly disturbing my slumbers.

  NOLAN: Without the faintest chance of a British soldier coming to stir me out of ’em. When will they learn? It doesn’t matter how long you bombard a place, you might as well be whistling at it unless you send a storming party in, horrible men with swords and bayonets and pop-guns to kill whoever’s stirring. I wonder if the point ever strikes that perfumed idiot Lord Cardigan.

  The British siege-guns are bombarding the Russian fortress of Sebastopol. LORD CARDIGAN and a couple of OFFICERS ride up.

  CARDIGAN: Ah, I see. Those fellows down there are our men, and they are firing at the Russians. Is that correct?

  OFFICER: That’s correct, my lord.

  CARDIGAN: Yes. Well, why don’t we drive them away?

  OFFICER: We seem not to have the forces sufficient to undertake such a difficult operation, my lord.

  CARDIGAN: I have never in my life seen a siege conducted on such principles. Or lack of them. Without an assault this cannonade is useless. Huge sums of money have been blown away in ammunition; time, which is of the most vital importance, has been squandered, and nothing whatever has been gained. What is to be done next?

  OFFICER: We await orders from Lord Raglan, sir.

  CARDIGAN: No doubt you do, my boy. Well, it’s back on board the Dryad for me. Some miles away, it’s true, but I might as well be back in Whitehall for all the good I can do here. And at least on my yacht I can be dry and warm.

  Back in NOLAN’s tent.

  NOLAN: (Fade up) … and not counting the Sebastopol garrison, there must be twenty thousand Russian troops out there, infantry and cavalry and heaven knows how many guns.

  MORRIS: Under General Liprandi, who it seems is an aggressive sort of customer.

  NOLAN: I rather fancy the sound of him. It’s worth crossing swords with a bastard like that, if we ever get within ten miles of him.

  MORRIS: The Lord will provide.

  NOLAN: He’d better. Otherwise we’ll have to provide something ourselves.

  MORRIS: You know, Lew, I’ve been thinking about your telegraph message from Robert Cecil. The last sentence, where he as good as told you to do anything you could to get our fellows a chance to hit the Russkis with everything they’ve got. Easy for him to talk like that in London, isn’t it? I mean—

  NOLAN: Oh, the lad’s heart’s in the right place, but he’s never seen action.

  MORRIS: Action, what action?

  NOLAN: Sure, he’s no notion what inaction’s like either, British army-style, courtesy of Lord Look-On. Oh, it’s hopeless, Ivor.

  MORRIS: The only thing he can think of to do is get us all out of bed an hour before dawn to ‘stand at our horses’. There’s the aggressive spirit for you.

  NOLAN: Right, let’s go and stand at the poor nags. They must be as miserable as we are.

  LUCAN and his staff walk their horses through the gloom.

  STAFF OFFICER: All present and correct, my lord.

  LUCAN: Thank you. Who’s that?

  PAGET: (Calling as he approaches) George Paget here, Lord Lucan.

  LUCAN: Good morning, Lord George. Lord Cardigan not appeared yet?

  PAGET: I expect he’s still on his way from his yacht, sir. I’m deputizing for him. Getting quite used to it.

  LUCAN: Let’s move on to the artillery emplacement. They may have news there.

  They ride on.

  PAGET: (Surprised) Hullo!

  LUCAN: What is it?

  PAGET: There are two flags flying from the staff. What does that mean?

  STAFF OFFICER: Why, that must be the signal that the enemy is approaching.

  PAGET: Are you quite sure?

  A great cannonade of British [light] guns starts up. We hear sounds of battle but no close engagement.

  LUCAN: If the Russians storm the heights there’s nothing between them and Balaclava but our cavalry.

  PAGET: What are your orders for the Light Brigade, Lord Lucan?

  LUCAN: Lord Raglan has done nothing, not even sent word. It must be our first duty to defend the approach to the town of Balaclava.

  PAGET: Orders for the Light Brigade, sir!

  LUCAN: Lord George, you will take the Light Brigade into reserve.

  PAGET: My lord, please give us something to do, something active.

  LUCAN: Kindly carry out my order at once. I will go forward with the Heavy Brigade and the Horse Artillery to make threatening demonstrations and using my guns as long as my ammunition lasts. Forward, the Heavy Brigade!

  Bombardment. Two great explosions. Sounds of Turkish infantry in retreat.

  STAFF OFFICER: Lord Lucan, most of our squadrons have come within musket range.

  LUCAN: So I see. I must withdraw the whole cavalry division to the slopes of the Causeway over yonder. Proceed by alternate regiments. Send an order to Lord George Paget.

  Cavalry on the move.

  CARDIGAN: Morning, Lord George. Beautiful day.

  PAGET: It is now, my lord.

  CARDIGAN: H’m. How goes it?

  PAGET: Not well, sir. In fact damn badly. The Russians are out in overwhelming strength, all our gun emplacements have fallen, the Turkish troops have run for it, we’ve lost command of the heights, and it looks as though we’re going to lose Balaclava too. And the cavalry division has been moved out of the way.

  CARDIGAN: That wretched Lucan again.

  PAGET: Not this time, my lord, in fairness. Specific orders from Lord Raglan. We were in an excellent position before. Now there’s only a few hundred Highland infantry under Sir Colin Campbell and a few dozen Turks to face the Russians.

  CARDIGAN: I’ve no confidence in any of ’em.

  Russian cavalry on the move.

  LUCAN: On the order of Lord Raglan, eight squadrons of dragoons under General Scarlett are to be detached from the Heavy Brigade towards Balaclava to support the infantry.

  CAMPBELL addresses his troops.

  CAMPBELL: Men, remember there is no retreat from here. You must die where you stand. But for the moment you don’t stand at all. Everybody down flat and don’t get up till I give the word. And when you do get up, both ranks be ready to fire. We’ll give those Russkis the shock of their lives. Make sure every shot tells.

  Russian cavalry charging.

  CAMPBELL: On your feet, men! Front rank, aim! Fire!

  Volley of musketry. Confusion among Russian cavalry.

  CAMPBELL: Rear rank, aim! Fire!

  More of the same.

  CAMPBELL: Get back in line, there! Damn all that eagerness! Let ’em come to you! Front rank, aim! Fire!

  More of the same, followed by Scottish cheers.

  CAMPBELL: Had enough, you Russian dogs? Ay, get yourselves out of harm’s way while you can! I don’t blame you!

  British cavalry on the move.

  SCARLETT: Halt!

  MAJOR: Looks as if we’re not needed here after all, General Scarlett.

  SCARLETT: What do you mean, major? What about that lot up there?

  MAJOR: But that’s the main body of the Russian cavalry, sir. Thousands of ’em.

  SCARLETT: Well then, they won’t be expecting an attack from a few hundred.r />
  MAJOR: But they’re uphill from us, and the ground between is badly broken.

  SCARLETT: Two more reasons why they won’t be expecting us. And look!

  MAJOR: Surely they’re not halting there.

  SCARLETT: Preparing to outflank us. We won’t give ’em time. Now’s our moment, while they’re not moving. Come on! (He draws his sword.) Trumpeter, sound the charge!

  Trumpet sounds. SCARLETT’s force charge the Russians and a great fight ensues.

  The Light Brigade are halted not far away.

  PAGET: Smash into ’em, lads! Well done, old Scarlett!

  CARDIGAN: These damned Heavies will have the laugh of us this day, Paget.

  PAGET: Not if we move at once, my lord.

  CARDIGAN: Lord Lucan’s orders are that we are on no account to leave this position.

  PAGET: Can’t we attack without orders, sir?

  CARDIGAN: Who are you to ask such a question?

  From among the great fight comes the sound of English, Scottish and Irish cheers as the Russian force breaks and flees.

  TROOPERS: They’re running for their bloody lives! We can cut ’em to pieces as they are now. Surely they’ll let us forward? What are we waiting for?

  MORRIS: (Rides up to CARDIGAN.) My lord, are you not going to charge the flying enemy?

  CARDIGAN: Certainly not, Captain Morris, we have clear orders to remain here.

  MORRIS: But, my lord, it is our positive duty to follow up this advantage.

  CARDIGAN: No, we must remain here.

  MORRIS: I implore you, do, my lord, allow me to charge them with the 17th. See, my lord, they are in disorder!

  CARDIGAN: No, no, sir, we must not stir from here.

  MORRIS: (Turning away) Gentlemen, you are witnesses of my request.

  PAGET: We’re all with you, Morris. But it’s no good.

  MORRIS: My God, my God, what a chance we are losing!

  LUCAN and his staff.

  NOLAN: (Riding up) Lord Lucan, sir, message from the Commander-in-Chief, sir.

  LUCAN: Kindly read it aloud so that all may hear.

  NOLAN: Sir. (Reads) Lord Raglan wishes the cavalry to advance rapidly to the front. Follow the enemy and try to prevent the enemy carrying away the guns. Troop Horse Artillery may accompany. French cavalry is on your left. Immediate. Signed by the second-in-command.

  LUCAN: I see. Or rather I fail to see. I can see nothing. From here, neither enemy nor guns are in sight. I know the enemy are in possession of guns of ours captured at the emplacements, and there are guns, Russian guns, at the end of the North Valley with the remnants of their cavalry. Which guns are meant? And is there to be no infantry support? Cavalry to charge artillery? Absurd.

  NOLAN: Lord Raglan’s last words to me were that the cavalry are to attack immediately.

  LUCAN: Attack, sir? Attack what? What guns, sir?

  NOLAN: There, my lord, is your enemy, there are your guns.

  LUCAN: The Russian guns. At the end of the valley. Very well.

  NOLAN: Will that be all, Lord Lucan?

  LUCAN: Thank you, Nolan.

  NOLAN rides over to MORRIS.

  NOLAN: Good day, Captain Morris. Are you now in command of the 17th?

  MORRIS: Good day, Captain Nolan. Yes, my superiors are all off sick.

  NOLAN: We are to charge the Russian guns. Have I your permission to ride next to you?

  MORRIS: By all means … Lew – you mean those Russian guns down the valley?

  NOLAN: It’s our chance come at last, Ivor, our chance to show the world.

  MORRIS: Oh. Very well. We must do what we can.

  LUCAN rides up to CARDIGAN.

  LUCAN: Lord Cardigan, in pursuance of this order from the Commander-in-Chief, you will advance down the North Valley with the Light Brigade. I will follow in support with the Heavy Brigade.

  CARDIGAN: Certainly, sir; but allow me to point out to you that the Russians have a battery of guns in the valley on our front, and batteries and riflemen on both sides.

  LUCAN: I know it, but Lord Raglan will have it. We have no choice but to obey.

  CARDIGAN: I understand, sir.

  LUCAN: Advance very steadily and keep your men well in hand.

  CARDIGAN rides over to his staff.

  SERGEANT: (Calling to TROOPERS) Right, pipes out there now. Don’t disgrace your regiment by smoking in the presence of the enemy.

  PAGET: I hope that doesn’t apply to me, sergeant. I’ll wager there isn’t another cigar like this in all Balaclava.

  SERGEANT: I think it’s up to you, sir.

  PAGET: I don’t want to set a bad example.

  CARDIGAN: (Rides up) Lord George, we are ordered to make an attack to the front. You will take command of the second line, and I expect your best support – mind, your best support.

  PAGET: You shall have it, my lord.

  CARDIGAN: In the first line, the 13th Light Dragoons, 11th Hussars, 17th Lancers. Second line, 4th Light Dragoons and the 8th Hussars.

  STAFF OFFICER: Very good, my lord.

  The regiments form up. CARDIGAN draws his sword.

  CARDIGAN: (Quietly) The Light Brigade will advance. Walk march. Trot!

  The troops set off, clearly audible owing to a sudden lull in firing.

  Then the distant guns crash out. As the first shots arrive, wounded men and horses cry out.

  NOLAN: Oh, what have I done? Sweet heaven, forgive me!

  He pulls ahead of MORRIS.

  MORRIS: Get back in line, Lew! We’ve a long way to go and must be steady! (Shouts) Come back!

  NOLAN overhauls CARDIGAN.

  CARDIGAN: Here, captain, get back to your place in the line! Captain Nolan, get back, I say!

  NOLAN: Now hear me, all you men!

  The rest of his words are drowned in explosions. A final one is very near. NOLAN is hit. His horse wheels and begins to gallop back through the oncoming Light Brigade.

  MORRIS: (Horrified) Oh Lew! Oh God, oh God!

  From NOLAN

  ‘There burst a strange and appalling cry, a shriek so unearthly as to freeze the blood of all who heard him. The terrified horse carried the body, still shrieking, through the 4th Light Dragoons, and then at last NOLAN fell from the saddle, dead.’ The tumult of the battle fades to nothing.

  CARDIGAN: That fellow Nolan behaved like a damned insubordinate dog, Scarlett. And a coward, too. Imagine the fellow screaming like a woman when he was hit.

  SCARLETT: Say no more, my lord; you have just ridden over Captain Nolan’s dead body.

  Sequence 6 – London

  A convalescent home. CECIL is visiting MORRIS.

  CECIL: You look remarkably well, Morris.

  MORRIS: Yes, my lord, I probably do, for a man who’s had his head cut open here and there.

  They laugh ruefully.

  CECIL: How long will they keep you in this place?

  MORRIS: I think they want to see me walk before they decide.

  CECIL: (Tentatively) If it’s not too soon to ask you – what do you think happened at Balaclava?

  MORRIS: Well, my lord, Lew Nolan was never an easy fellow to understand. He was behaving very oddly even for him when he rode up beside me just before the charge. But I’ve no doubt in my mind that about as soon as he read Lord Raglan’s order he decided to misdirect Lord Lucan. A great chance for Lew to test his theory about cavalry.

  CECIL: But he underestimated the Russian artillery.

  MORRIS: And his own feelings. Poor Lew hadn’t seen as much of the business of war as I had, and I reckon the sight of what those first shells did to our fellows and their horses was too much for him. It was a horrible reminder that cavalry are flesh and b
lood, not just part of a theory. I think when he was hit he was in the middle of telling us to turn back.

  CECIL: (Slowly) Do you think he was influenced by my notion of bringing about something that would show our friends in St Petersburg the quality of British cavalry, their high morale and their bravery?

  MORRIS: I couldn’t say for certain, my lord, but I know he was powerfully impressed by it. Especially by your last message. He’d set his heart on proving you were right.

  CECIL: (Heavily) I see.

  MORRIS: My lord, have you heard whether the news of the charge has had any effect … back there?

  CECIL: Not as yet.

  Sequence 7 – St Petersburg

  ROGACHEV and his faction in conclave.

  ROGACHEV: Surely this ‘charge of the Light Brigade’ shows little but the blind stupidity of the British cavalryman.

  GENERAL: It may or may not show that, Count Rogachev. What it certainly shows is miraculous discipline and magnificent courage.

  ROGACHEV: So you witnessed it, general?

  GENERAL: Your honour must know that I had not the opportunity. Nor the privilege. But a soldier need not be a witness of such a thing. For a soldier, to be told is enough.

  ROGACHEV: We must beware of attaching too much importance to a single event. What is it, major?

  MAJOR: I did witness that event, my lord count, from behind the battery which the Light Brigade were attacking. With all respect to the general, you have to see such a thing. Such a thing! (Begins to break down.) It was without parallel, it was unique, it was indescribable. The French general who saw it said it was magnificent, but it was not war. It was indeed magnificent, and it was war besides. (Weeping) Those noble fellows! If only we had ten such men in all Russia …

  ROGACHEV: There, there, my poor major, what you need is a drink. (Rings handbell) Again, we must pay attention to the larger picture.

  GENERAL: The larger picture is that, far from the British soldier being in a bad way, it is the Russian. Every man in our army, high and low, is dismayed and daunted and in a state of fear at the thought of an enemy who can do such things. We shall lose the war in the Crimea, we shall never defeat Turkey while she has such an ally, and India is safe from us while the British remain.

 

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