by Eve Gaddy
Don’t worry, Maggie, he thought. We’re going to have that conversation—again—whether Cole likes it or not.
He finally saw Cole, looking young, scared and defiant all in one slouching package. “Uh, thanks for coming, Dad. I’m sorry you had to.” He shifted. “I can explain.”
“Good,” was all Jack said as he headed for his truck. He didn’t say anything else. A lecture like the one he planned to deliver was best kept for when he could concentrate on what he said and not on driving.
Cole tried to say something a time or two, but when Jack didn’t answer, he lapsed into silence.
They walked in the house and Jack tossed his keys on the counter. Pointing at a chair at the kitchen table, he said, “Sit.”
Cole sat. “Look, Dad, I know you’re mad, but I didn’t do anything wrong. You heard Officer Barnes. That’s why they let us go.”
“We’ll get to that in a minute.” Jack pulled out a chair, propped his foot on it. Leaning close to Cole, he kept his eyes on his son’s face. “What were you doing at the beach?”
“There—there was a party. Some of us decided to go. The guys I was with wanted to go.”
“Were there any adults at this party?”
Cole scowled. “No.”
“No, what?”
“No, sir,” he said his voice low.
“Did you know there wouldn’t be adults there?”
Now he looked sulky. “Yes. Sir,” he added reluctantly.
“We’ve had this discussion before. You’re not supposed to go to unchaperoned parties for exactly this reason,” he said, his voice rising as his anger did. He sucked in a breath and reminded himself to calm down. “So you knew and you chose to go anyway. Even though you knew if you got caught there’d be hell to pay.”
“Yes, sir.” He paused and added, “It was just a party, Dad. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
“Did you smoke pot?”
“Officer Barnes said—”
“I know what she said,” he snapped. “I’m asking you. Did you do any drugs?”
Cole shook his head.
“Did you drink anything?”
“No, sir.” He met Jack’s eyes and shrugged. “Yes, sir. A couple of sips of beer. But that’s all, I swear.”
Should Jack believe him? On one level, he did. And obviously, the cops had. But on another level, he remembered walking into his house and catching Cole and his friends in the act. He wanted to believe his son wasn’t lying to him this time, but he just couldn’t be sure.
“Am I grounded?”
Jack laughed humorlessly. “What do you think?” Cole looked away and he continued, “Yes, you’re grounded. No car, no going out. After school you go straight to work, come straight home when you’re finished. For a month, at least. I’m just not sure what else is going to happen.”
Puzzled, Cole looked at him. “What do you mean, what else? Isn’t being grounded enough?”
“Apparently not. That’s what I did last time and look where we are now.” He walked over to the cabinet, got a glass down, put a couple of ice cubes in it and turned on the tap. Sipping water, he considered his son.
“I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of it.”
“Also what you said last time. Looks like we’re back to square one.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve been thinking I should have been harder on you. It would have been better for you if I had been. But there might be a way to fix that.” He set his glass down and looked at Cole. “The first time this happened, I thought about sending you away to school. To military school.”
Cole’s mouth dropped open. “No way.”
He had thought about it. Not seriously, but he’d considered it. And he wasn’t serious now. Or not entirely. But he wanted to get through to Cole. Now, before he did something that really landed him in trouble.
“It’s beginning to look like an option again.”
Cole sat up, staring at him. “You never—you never said anything about that. You can’t do this to me! I won’t go! I won’t!”
“You’ll go if I say you have to go.”
“I didn’t even do anything wrong! I told you I didn’t and you don’t believe me! The cops believed me and my own father doesn’t.”
“Yeah, well the cops didn’t walk in on you and your friends last spring. I did. And now this.”
“I told you I wouldn’t do it again and I haven’t. I wish I had, though. What difference does it make when you don’t believe anything I say?”
“I don’t know whether to believe you or not,” Jack said honestly. “That’s the problem. Once you’ve broken someone’s trust it’s hard to get it back.”
Cole didn’t say anything, just looked at him defiantly. Jack squeezed the bridge of his nose. Nothing like good old tension to do a number on your head.
“I think we’ve said all there is to say tonight. Go to bed, Cole. We’ll talk in the morning.”
Cole got up but didn’t leave the room. “I’m not going to military school. There’s no way I’m going and you can’t make me. I’m sixteen, I don’t even have to go to school anymore. I could quit tomorrow.”
“Sure you could if you want a dead-end job with no chance of a decent career. High school dropouts aren’t exactly at the top of the job market. And if you think I’m supporting you if you drop out, think again.”
Cole walked out of the kitchen and a few minutes later Jack heard his door slam with a resounding bang. Great. Just great. He couldn’t convince the woman he loved to marry him. He couldn’t convince the son he loved to straighten up. He was nothing more than a total failure where the most important people in his life were concerned.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
BELLS RANG. Ava couldn’t imagine why, since she’d always thought of bells as a happy sound and the dream she assumed she was having was anything but happy. One more dream reliving the breakup. One more time she would wake in the morning, miserably aware that reality wasn’t a bit better.
Groggily she forced open her eyes as the ringing continued. She realized the sound was her phone and reached for it, knocking it on the floor. She finally grabbed it up and put it to her ear. “’Lo.”
“Ava, it’s Jack.”
She sat up and fumbled to turn on the light, blinking at the harsh glare. “Jack?” With one hand she knuckled her eyes. “Is something wrong? What are you doing calling me at—” she turned the alarm so she could read it. “It’s 2:00 a.m.” Two-thirteen, to be exact.
“I know. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have called but I’m—I don’t know who else to call. I’ve called all his friends, woken up their parents, and he’s nowhere.”
She was fully awake now, listening to the despair in his voice. “Who’s nowhere? You mean Cole? What’s wrong? Isn’t he at home?”
“No, he’s gone. We had a fight and— Damn it, if I’d realized he’d leave home over it I’d never—” He broke off. “But that doesn’t matter. I checked on him about one-thirty and he wasn’t in his bed. I’ve been calling everyone I know. No one’s seen him.”
“Have you talked to the police?”
His laugh held little humor. “Oh, yeah. For the second time tonight.”
“What—” She started to ask a question, but it was obvious Jack needed her with him, not hanging on the phone asking him futile questions. “Never mind. I’ll be there as soon as I can get there.”
“I didn’t call to drag you out in the middle of the night. I just— I don’t know, I thought he might have gone to you. I hoped he had.”
Ignoring his protest, she went on. “I’m sorry, he hasn’t called me. I’m coming over. In the meantime, start thinking of places he might be, besides his friends’ houses. Any place the police might not think to look for him.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Jack. I’m coming,” she said, and hung up.
Ava didn’t say anything when he opened the door. She simply stepped inside a
nd put her arms around him, felt his come around her and hold on tightly. For a long moment, neither spoke, simply taking comfort from holding each other.
“We’ll find him,” she finally murmured. “Don’t worry, we’ll find him.”
“It’s my fault,” he said when he let her go. “I should have known better than to threaten him. I should have just grounded him and left it at that, but no, I had to go and make him think I’d send him away.”
“First things first. I saw his car in the driveway. So he’s on foot?”
“Yeah. He’s not stupid. He’d know if he took the car I’d have heard him. Plus, it would be easy enough to find him in a vehicle. The cops could have put out a bulletin for it. But he must have thought of that.”
“That was my next question. The police are looking for him, I take it.”
“Yes. They’re looking at the parks, the schools, the beach, places like that.” His eyes lifted to hers. “The bus station. They called a few minutes after I talked to you, and no one’s seen him. They haven’t checked the airport yet, but they said they’d ask the Corpus Christi police to do so. But he doesn’t have enough money for a plane ticket. At least, I don’t think he does.”
“That’s good. It probably means he’s still around here.”
“Maybe. Unless he hitchhiked out of town.”
Her heart froze at that thought. “He might have,” she said carefully. “But I don’t think you should worry about that until you’ve exhausted all the possibilities here. Besides, the police are much better equipped to deal with that than we are. Tell me, Jack, how bad was your fight?”
“Bad. As bad as we’ve ever had.”
“What happened?”
He shoved an unsteady hand through his hair. “A bunch of kids were hauled down to the police station because a beach party got out of hand. Cole wasn’t booked but I had to go get him. They said drugs and alcohol were involved, but they didn’t think all the kids had been doing them. So they sent them home. But I…” His voice trailed off, then he said, “When I saw the police department come up on my caller ID, I knew it would be bad. But hearing that—I blew a gasket.”
“That’s understandable.”
“Yeah, but— I didn’t believe him. He swore he hadn’t done anything, but I didn’t believe him because last spring I caught him smoking.”
A horrible thought struck her. “Did you— You said it was bad. Did you hit him?”
He shook his head. “No, of course not. The last time I spanked him he was four years old and had just run into the street. So, no, I didn’t hit him. I did worse.”
Thank God he hadn’t hit him. She didn’t know how she’d have stood that. But worse? What could be worse? “What did you do, Jack?”
“I threatened to send him to military school.” He paced away, his steps jerky, running his hands through already disordered hair. “And the hell of it was, I didn’t mean it. I couldn’t do that, even if it were the best thing for him. There’s no way I could send him away from me. Not now. I’m already depressed about him going away to college and that’s not for two more years.”
Two and a half, she thought, remembering her conversation with Cole earlier that week. “But he believed you.”
“Apparently.” He made an impatient gesture. “Hell, yes, he believed me. I don’t make idle threats. Not ordinarily. Of course he’s run off. God, you’d think I’d learn.”
“Beating yourself up isn’t helping. I’m sure your reaction wasn’t any different from a lot of fathers’.”
“Their kids haven’t taken off.”
“Have you thought of any other places he might be? Here in town?”
He shook his head. “I’ve been racking my brain and coming up dry. When you said you hadn’t seen him I decided to go driving around. It might be useless but I can’t just sit here any longer.”
Where could he be? Somewhere no one would expect to find him. “Wait a minute. There’s a dolphin in rehab at the Institute. Cole’s been helping take care of it.”
“Yeah, I know. He’s talked about it constantly.” He looked at her, hope lighting his eyes. “You think he’s gone to the Institute?”
“It’s worth a try.”
“But that dolphin’s been on twenty-four-hour watch. There’ll be all sorts of people with him. Cole wouldn’t go to the Institute unless he didn’t care if I found him.”
“Smiley’s improved.” Smiley was the name Cole had picked for the dolphin. “He was taken off the twenty-four-hour watch yesterday.”
Jack’s eyes blazed brighter. “That’s it. It’s got to be. Let’s go.”
“THANKS FOR COMING WITH ME,” Jack said, on the way to the Institute. “I’m sorry I got you up. Sorry you’re having to deal with this, too. But I really appreciate you being here.”
Jack was driving, although Ava had offered to. She suspected driving made him feel a little less impotent, so she hadn’t made more than a token argument. “Don’t be silly. Of course I’m here. I’m worried, too. I— You know I care about Cole. Besides, you’re a mess. You need someone with you.”
“Do you think I’m overreacting?” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I mean, kids run away all the time, right? That doesn’t mean they don’t come back a few hours later, perfectly fine. Not all of them…leave town.”
And never come back. She knew he was thinking of her childhood, though he didn’t say it. “No, you’re not overreacting.” She was silent for a long moment, not wanting to say too much but needing to say something. “Bad things can happen to runaways. Trust me, I know.”
He shot her a glance but she didn’t say any more. There was no sense letting him know just how bad things could be for a child on his own.
“It kills me that he ran away. That he didn’t trust me enough to even try to talk about it. I was going to talk to him tomorrow, when we’d both cooled off.”
“He’s young,” she said. “Teenagers don’t always make the best decisions. Especially when they’re upset and scared.”
“Is that what you did?” He pulled up to the Institute and turned off the truck.
“Yes.” She gripped her hands together tightly in her lap. Thinking of what Cole might do tortured her. If he’d left town, if he was truly on his own… God, no, she wouldn’t think of that.
“I made…a terrible decision. One I pray Cole won’t ever have to make.” She reached out, caught Jack’s hand and squeezed it. “But I don’t believe he will. My…situation was nothing like Cole’s.”
“No? You ran away from your father. Because you were afraid of what he’d do. The same way Cole has.”
“No, not the same at all. Even though he’s angry and hurt, Cole knows you love him. You haven’t abused him, haven’t made him doubt his self-worth. You haven’t made his life a living hell he’d do anything to get away from.”
He looked doubtful. “No, but I’ve made mistakes. A lot of them.”
“But you love him, and he knows that. It counts for more than you realize.”
“What did you do, Ava? What happened to you that was so terrible?”
She glanced away. She wouldn’t put that image in his head. Not with his son still missing. She wouldn’t be that cruel. “You don’t want to know. Not now, with Cole gone. But once we find him…” She left the rest unsaid, but she knew she’d have to tell him. Tell him and kill any hope for a future together. Not that she’d had any to begin with.
They got out and walked to the back door. Jack pulled out his key. “Do you know the alarm code?”
“Yes. Why, don’t you?”
“I know it. But I don’t know why Cole would.”
“Has he stayed nights with Smiley and the other volunteers?”
“Some. Not all night, but pretty late some nights.”
“Then he might know it, too. Open the door, Jack.” Cole had to be there. She couldn’t bear to think of what could happen if they didn’t find him.
“IF HE’S HERE he reset the alarm,” Jack s
aid, punching in the code to disarm.
“If the night watchman made rounds, he’d have noticed the alarm wasn’t on. It makes sense to reset it.”
True, but would Cole have thought of that? They went inside, heading toward the back. Jack had never noticed how large the Institute was. Or how eerily quiet. But then, during the workday it wasn’t quiet. He’d never been there at three o’clock in the morning.
The area that contained the rehabilitation tank was all the way at the back of the building, near the docks where the Heart of Texas was moored.
Turning into a long hallway, he saw the double doors leading into the rehab room. Thin beams of light showed through the cracks. The relief was crushing, until he realized it could still be someone else checking up on the dolphin and not his son at all.
Wordlessly, he looked at Ava.
“It almost has to be Cole,” she whispered, reading his mind. “There weren’t any cars in the parking lot.”
Relief flooded back, intense and dizzying. “I hadn’t thought of that,” he said, just as quietly. He turned the knob and opened the door.
Cole sat with his back to them, on the edge of the huge tank, his feet dangling in the water. Dejection was in the slump of his shoulders. Smiley circled the perimeter, emitting sharp cries and tossing his head at the boy. Jack could have sworn the sounds were sympathetic, as if the dolphin understood what the boy was going through.
“Don’t make me go to military school,” Cole said without turning around. “I don’t care what else you do to me, just please don’t make me go.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“I’LL LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE,” Ava murmured, giving his hand a supportive squeeze. “Come to my office when you’re ready to go home.”
“Thanks.” He walked over to the pool, took off his shoes and socks and rolled up his jeans. He took a seat beside his son, pondering what he wanted to say.
Cole’s face was averted, only his profile visible, but Jack could see the tearstains on the one cheek presented to him. Those tear tracks reproached him, made him want to hold his son close, like he had when he was a little boy. Hold him tightly and tell him everything would be okay. But he couldn’t do that anymore because he simply didn’t know that everything would be all right.