by Amy Richie
“David. Don’t erase my memory. You have taken everything from me. Please David.”
“It’s not cleaner Eva. It will just make you sleep.”
“You don’t need to do that.” I struggled uselessly against the two men holding me in place. “I’ll go with you. Without a fight.”
He grinned. “Eva, you’ve never done anything without a fight.”
“Nickolas, don’t let him inject me. He betrayed me once; he could easily do it again. You don’t know what could be in there. Nickolas, please don’t let him.”
But my pleas fell on deaf ears. Nickolas was already turning away. “Hurry,” he called back over his shoulder right before he disappeared.
“He left me.”
“He had no choice, Eva.” He took a hold of my arm and shoved the point of the needle into my vein. I didn’t even notice.
The trees around us were what I noticed instead. The trees that had swallowed my last view of Nickolas. They stood still, timeless, uncaring. I thought of the small wooden house that had become my safe haven.
It was odd to think of it at that moment. Certainly I was within hours of a painful death. Soon the trees would be gone, replaced by ash and stone buildings. I had failed my mission. Somewhere out there in the trees Dominick Letrell ran freely. This was probably the closest I would ever be to him and there was nothing I could do about that.
My head started to feel heavy and the colors around the tress started to blur. It would be over soon. My brief touch with humanity. My own humanity. The only time I had ever felt real was when I was with Nickolas, but he had left me to my fate. I couldn’t stop the blackness from coming, so I welcomed it. The trees. I would never see them again, I thought sadly.
Chapter Twenty-Six
When I opened my eyes I was laying in my bed at the lab, in Lexon. I didn’t cry, not because I didn’t want to or have reason too, but I knew she would be listening. I rolled over onto my side and stared at the blank wall. No warm fireplace here, or a soft bed, or Nickolas bringing me enormous amounts of food. My heart constricted at the thought of Nickolas. What was he doing now? Was he dead?
I sighed heavily and tried to clear my head of such dangerous thoughts. It didn’t matter anymore anyways, what was done couldn’t be undone, what I felt couldn’t be unfelt, and what I had failed at was inescapable. I knew the consequences and I accepted that. It was easier somehow, since I had known Nickolas. At least I had loved and been loved in return, I wished I could have at least told him how much that meant to me. I wished I had more time to tell him the things I hadn’t been able too.
I heard the door open and close but I didn’t turn around to see who it was. “You’re awake?” David.
“Yeah.”
I heard him swallow nervously. “Are you ok?”
“Yes.”
“Are you thinking about Dominick?”
No. “Yeah.”
“Eva?”
“What?”
“We were wrong.”
I didn’t know what he wanted me to say. “Ok.”
“We never should have thought we could change the past. I am glad you failed, it seems better this way.”
“Failed?” I asked angrily. “I wouldn’t have failed if you hadn’t dragged me back home.”
“No matter what you might think…”
“And if those two idiots hadn’t turned on me.” I turned then for the first time. David looked different. His eyes were worried and lined in bruise like shadows. The rims were bright red, as if he’d been crying or had many sleepless nights. I was stunned.
“I know, Eva. We were…wrong.”
“You already said that.” But some of my anger had deflated.
He nodded and looked away. “Are you afraid of Neleh’s reaction?” he asked. He knew she was listening too. But I wasn’t going to play along this time.
“No.” He looked back at me. “I guess I have always known that she was going to kill me eventually.” He looked wary. “I was nothing to her.”
“She put a lot of time and money into the whole project.”
“Humph.” I turned over to lie on my back and pinched the bridge of my nose.
“You have changed so much, Eva,” David said very quietly. I almost didn’t hear him.
“But isn’t that what you expected to happen, David?”
He sighed again and I heard him get up. “I’ll let you rest. She is going to want to see you soon though.”
“I kind of figured she might.”
I didn’t even look his way when he left the room. I heard the door click shut before I turned back over to stare at the wall. It probably wouldn’t make any difference if I cried now, my fate was sealed. I sniffed loudly and brushed away the slight moisture that had gathered at the corner of my eye. “Oh Nickolas, I know I’ll never see you again,” I whispered, “but I just...” My voice broke. I squeezed my eyes shut tight.
***
I don’t know how long I slept but Neleh’s was the first face I saw when I opened my eyes. She was glaring at me, just inches from my face. “Gah!” I jumped up and pressed my back against the wall.
Without appearing to have moved at all, she was in my face again. “You failed,” she breathed. I didn’t utter a syllable. Her eyes were so enraged they appeared red. Before I even registered that the door had opened it swung shut and she was gone.
I still stood pressed against the wall for several minutes after she was gone. I was afraid, of course I was afraid, but I had not been taught to fear. In fact I had been punished severely for showing fear. All my years of training could not be erased by a few days in the woods with Nickolas Le Gant. I steeled my shoulders and crossed my small room to the bed. I sat down in the middle and crossed my legs. I would wait — she wouldn’t be long.
Neleh kept me waiting for longer than I expected. She was trying to break me. Patience was not one of my strengths. I ate and slept at regular intervals, but other than that I sat in the middle of the bed — waiting.
It took two full days before my mind began to wander to Nickolas. What year had he died? It was unnerving for me to realize that I had expected him to come for me. He told me he would, but of course he couldn’t have waited 900 years. She had gotten to him, just as I knew she would.
I wondered too if she had known all these years. If she had known I would love him and that she would kill him. It was hard for me to wrap my brain around the idea so I quit trying. Time travel was not something to be taken lightly. I had rolled my eyes at how many times David had felt the need to remind us not to talk to anyone in the past. Now I understood. But it was too late.
My poor Nickolas. Had he thought of me when she finally got to him? Had he worried that he would fail me?
My breath caught. At least it would all be over for me soon too. I curled onto my side. Who cared if Neleh heard me crying? Maybe she would be so disgusted that she would kill me faster. I brought my knees up so that I could wrap my arms around them.
Crying seemed like the right thing to do. My tears fell for Nickolas and for the wooden house, for my dress and the shoes with the funny buckles. I almost laughed when I remembered how much trouble Sols had with the buckle before takeoff. I even cried for that stupid brown horse called Ginger.
“What are you doing?” I heard Neleh’s harsh voice but I didn’t turn or sit up. Just please kill me, I pleaded silently. “Look at me.”
It was too hard to disobey her. “Yes Neleh,” I croaked.
“You’re crying.” Her eyes were wide and disbelieving. She backed up towards the door as if I were contagious. “Why are you crying?”
I closed my eyes as she searched my mind for all that she wanted to know.
“I should have known you would fail. The whole idea was yours really. But I thought I could change things. Condition you. I saw your potential.” she folded her arms across her chest, something she rarely did. “Love?” She shook her head. “I tried to keep the idea from you. I tried…but I guess you are only huma
n after all.”
I flinched back from her accusations but I could not deny it. “Let’s just finish this.” I didn’t look at her.
“You will have a trial — of sorts. You and David both. Tomorrow. I have much left to consider tonight.” she turned to go but turned back when she reached the door. “David will be in to see you soon.”
I didn’t want to see David but I kept quiet. We had already said all there was to say.
I fell asleep that night still thinking of Nickolas. My eyelashes were wet when my eyes finally closed. In my dreams, I saw Nickolas again. I saw him on his magnificent white horse. He was riding through the trees at a suicidal pace. The trees began to fly by faster and faster until they were just a blur. Then I realized the horse was gone. Nickolas was running, but not just running — he was being chased.
I sat up straight on my bed with a scream on my lips. I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair. I had not bothered to re-braid my hair, instead just leaving it to hang loosely down my back. What did it matter anyway?
A small movement out of the corner of my eye made me spring up, knife already in hand.
“It’s just me,” David whispered.
“What are you doing in here?” I didn’t relax my stance.
“I came to check on you.”
“I’m fine, now get out.”
He turned then and his face was bathed in the slim slice of light from my door. The sight was gruesome. Large welts ran the length of his face and neck. A large black bruise encircled his swollen eye. I dropped to my knees in front of him. No matter what he had done, he was still my David. He sat on the edge of the bed.
“What happened to you? Did Neleh do this?”
“The guards did this. It was expected.” He didn’t even sound angry.
“She…she knows then.”
“That my loyalties have changed.” He nodded. “I had hoped that I would be dealt with swiftly.” He tried to smile but it just took on a grotesque quality. “But no such luck.”
“Did you try to fight back David?”
“There is no point in fighting back, Eva. No point.”
“And where are your precious brothers now?” I hissed.
“I betrayed them. I can hardly expect them to come to my rescue now.”
My head fell forward so that my hair hid my face. “It’s the only hope you have now, I’m afraid.”
I rested my head against his knees. He didn’t bring his hand up to stroke my hair as Nickolas would have done. It was bored into us not to be emotional, David even more so than me. I would have to be careful not to expect anything from him — that way I wouldn’t be disappointed.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The sun had been up for a few hours before Neleh finally called us. David never left my room, he had nowhere to go. We both seemed to realize that we would die soon and that we only had each other left.
“You know what I don’t understand, David?” I whispered in the wee hours before dawn.
“What?”
“How did she get in my dreams? She was clear, even when I didn’t know who she was.”
“The cleaner just didn’t get deep enough. Part of your brain remembered — at least certain things.”
“So it was all just my own mind, not actually her?”
“Yes.”
“Then Nickolas was right. They were just dreams.”
He seemed uncomfortable whenever I mentioned Nickolas. He cleared his throat. “You were trying to remember. It’s interesting what your mind came up with. We didn’t even discuss the wolves very much.”
“Nickolas was convinced that I had been attacked by the wolves.”
“Hmm.” We lapsed into silence then, awaiting word from Neleh.
It came in the form of a messenger. “Neleh is ready to see you now,” he announced in a formal tone.
Even though I wouldn’t admit it out loud, I was grateful that David held my hand along the way. I wasn’t really afraid. I could never see a future for myself. I was created for only one purpose, and now that it was over it made sense for me to end too.
I took a deep breath once we were inside the elevator. It was strange to think it had been less than a week ago that I had made a similar walk. Then to, I didn’t think I would come back. So much had changed. The world in general had not changed much, but I was different. I had loved and been loved in return, and that changed everything.
Neleh had been wrong about a lot of things. Was it possible that she had been wrong about Dominick Letrell?
The door to the lab swung open to reveal Neleh sitting regally in a chair placed in the middle of the room. Her anger changed often to amusement and then back again quickly as she listened to our thoughts. “So glad you could make it,” she mocked.
“Neleh.” David bobbed his head in greeting. I said nothing.
She folded her hands in her lap. “You already know why you are here.”
To die. “What is your formal charge against us?” David wanted to know.
“Betrayal.”
“Punishable by death?”
Neleh shrugged. Her game was maddening. “Just do it already.”
“Being human,” she swung her icy glare to me, “I fear I have no choice but to kill you.”
My stomach dropped but I showed no reaction. “Did you always plan for me to die?”
“Yes.” Very simple. “I wanted you to kill Dominick first though.” Her four guards loomed over her shoulder. There was no chance for me. Maybe David could get away.
“What would you live for anyways, Eva?” I refused to answer. I realized better than anyone else that killing me was not the worst thing she could do to me, but still I refused her. “Your boyfriend was a no show.” She smiled cruelly. I hated that she could read my thoughts.
“Neleh, let us be done with this,” David hissed through clenched teeth. I was surprised that he had said anything at all.
“What do you plan to do, David?” Her voice was low, menacing.
“Whatever I can.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I never asked them to kill you,” she responded to something she picked from his head.
“They are bound by Kiera. They cannot touch me.” Who was he talking about? The guard?
“Kiera is not here.”
“It has already been spoken.”
“Eva does not belong to the Letrell’s.”
“I will fight for her.” He growled low in his throat.
“What?” Neleh and I both asked in unison.
“I fully intend to fight for Eva. The guard has to protect me — before you.” His voice had become low too.
“They will listen to me.”
“You and I both know that they cannot. But come on, let’s test it.” He crouched low in front of me. If I wasn’t so shocked I would have laughed out loud to see David ready to fight.
“Enough.” Her eyes were black with rage. “I only want Eva.”
“No.”
She smiled, but it was anything but amused. The sight sent chills down my spine. “I didn’t think you had it in you, David. I am impressed.” She raised her hand to signal the guard. I tensed. “Take them to their rooms. Separate rooms. Make sure the doors are locked. They will not be harmed.”
***
My cell seemed smaller to me, the bed stiffer. The only sanctuary I had ever known had become my prison. I paced the length of the box shaped room over and over again. I was not used to being the damsel in distress and I certainly was not doing it well.
I replayed Neleh’s “hearing” over again in my head. What in the world had David been thinking? Neither of us had a chance against the guard, but I had a better chance than he did. Then again, I had never seen David fight.
David was a man of science. I never expected him to stand up for me like that. I wondered if he was in his own cell, regretting his actions.
Everything was starting to become jumbled and hazy along the lines. It had been easier before, when we all knew our pla
ces. I stopped my crazy pacing and settled myself on my bed. I wished that I still had my book. Jane would have known what to do in this situation.
I sighed. What I really wanted was Nickolas. He would have saved me if he could have. I sniffed back the tears that threatened to come. How could I have changed so much after only three days?
Maybe the woman I was with Nickolas was the true me. The person I would have been if nature had been allowed to take its course. A normal human. One that laughed and cried at regular intervals.
The door flew open without warning. Henri stood there, staring at me. “I remember you,” he declared.
“Do you remember also that I once beheaded you?” My voice was its characteristic calm.
“Dominick claimed you as his.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She’ll kill you slowly, just to piss him off.” He grinned broadly.
“I didn’t even see Dominick. He doesn’t even know I exist.” He grunted unattractively. “I remember you too. You baited the wolves so they would attack those people. That is what started the whole war with the wolves. I wonder if Neleh knows that.” My threat was clear.
Henri sauntered into the room until he was only inches from my face. “She is the one that ordered me to do it. Idiot.”
“Nickolas was right about her.”
“Yes he was. And now he’ll get to hear her rip apart his girlfriend.”
“Nickolas is alive?” Hope flared its ugly head in my chest. Henri’s head jerked up, Neleh must have called him.
Nickolas was alive? Why would he be listening? Had they captured him?
“Come on. It’s time.” Henri pulled me roughly to my feet, leaving hand sized bruises on my arms. I stumbled over my own feet as I hurried to catch up. “I thought you were supposed to be some super human species,” he taunted.
We didn’t meet up with David until we got to the lab. When he looked at me I didn’t see fear or anxiety — just resignation. Nickolas was not there.
“So we meet again.” Neleh was smiling. Bad sign. “It’s a shame really. Most of my guard were called away. Kiera sent for them.” She giggled and wrinkled her nose.