by K. K. Allen
Chapter Two
I don’t wake up again until the morning and this time I’m not screaming. No other dreams haunt me that night, but I can’t stop thinking about the reflection in the mirror.
The moment I begin my descent down the grand staircase my mouth tingles as the aroma of bacon and eggs enters my nostrils. I follow the scent past the white great room, through a brilliant mahogany arch into a lavish dining room decorated in electric blue, from the plates on the wall, to the table coverings, and candles on the table. I’m spellbound as I bobble through the room as if on a cloud.
My dream from last night is far from out of my mind, but for now, it’s pushed aside as I take my seat in the dining room.
A stranger to me, though biologically she is my grandmother, sits facing me with a smile set on her face. She moves to set her water glass down and I see her clearly. With her hair as white as snow, her eyes as silver as diamonds, and skin as new as a middle-aged woman, she is actually a stunning sight. Simple math tells me Rose is at least 60 years old but by the looks of her, she isn’t a day over 50. It’s a strange experience to be sitting across from a woman I am to call Grandma.
Rose’s friendly expression makes me feel as if she doesn’t consider me a stranger. My stomach twists in discomfort. “You are more beautiful than I imagined.” She remarks. “It’s as if I’m looking into your mother’s reflection at 16 years old.”
Nervous as I am in this moment I find the strength to respond to this stranger before me. “I’ll be 16 on June 21st.”
Rose – er, my grandmother – smiles brightly at nods and me. “Yes, dear. I know.” Something about her response sends a current through my body. I try to shake it away but it lingers as I continue to speak. “Is it okay if I call you Rose?”
Rose nods kindly and waves a hand towards my hot plate. “Of course. Would you eat with me? Charlotte whipped us up some of your favorites.” I think I catch a wink from Rose. My stomach tightens. How does she know what my favorites are? Bacon, eggs, and waffles with blueberries. Yup.
I didn’t notice Charlotte in the corner of the dining room but I see her wiping dust from a frame. She catches my eye and her smile immediately softens my mood. How does she do that? I give Charlotte a silent nod and tight smile before turning back towards Rose.
“You have a beautiful home.” The words are hard to produce but I’m sure she knows that this is anything but a home to me. I stumble to unfold my napkin and place it on my lap. If there’s one thing my mom taught me well, it’s proper manners.
“Thank you, Katrina. I do hope that you will make yourself comfortable. This is your home now too.”
I nod my head, and look around me. How can one person afford such nonessential items?
Charlotte hurries toward me with a glass of orange juice and a pitcher of water. Does she sense an awkward moment? She fills my drink glasses and we greet each other. There’s an unspoken understanding about my gratitude for her comfort last night.
She places a warm hand on my back and smiles before retreating to the kitchen.
“So,” Rose begins, her smile growing, “you will have the summer to adjust to things here and maybe get to know some people before school starts up in the fall. I sincerely think you will feel at home in no time.”
Feeling at home here doesn’t seem possible. Not in this strange mansion of a home. Not without my friends. Not without my mother. I wonder if I’ll ever feel at home anywhere again. I don’t respond with my actual thoughts. Instead, I give her the best smile I can muster. “I am glad I have some time to adjust. What is there to do around here anyway?”
Rose seems to brighten during our conversation. Maybe she expected me to give her a hard time. “A lot of the teenagers spend their time at the community center down the street. I’ll take you there this week and you can see for yourself.”
A community center? The term didn’t make me think of “teenage hangout.” “What is there to do there?”
“Everything,” Rose says with a look that tells me I will be impressed. I decide to not press her with more questions. She’s not exactly forthcoming with information.
Charlotte chimes in now as she floats back to the table empty-handed. “I’ll give you that tour we talked about when I get back from town today. I figure you’ll be unpacking until then anyway.”
I’m distracted by the food. I can’t remember the last time I ate a home cooked meal. My foster family fed the household only canned and frozen foods. “Thank you,” I say as my stomach rolls.
Rose doesn’t look at her, but keeps her examining eyes focused on me. “The tour would be great, but leave the den and the library alone. Katrina and I will spend plenty of time there in days to come.”
Something in Rose’s voice changed with the last comment but I know better than to think more on it. I get the strange feeling that Rose has an agenda for me and I’ll soon find out what that is.
Rose looks up to Charlotte who is still hovering over us ensuring we’re okay with food and drinks. “Dear, will you fetch me the morning’s paper? And then please, eat something. You’re withering away under those old clothes.” She is speaking to Charlotte now, then looks between Charlotte and me. “I was thinking that you and Katrina could head into town and shop around sometime this week. I’m sure you both could use some new – items.”
I look to Charlotte and then back to Rose. The last thing I wanted was to take charity from my grandmother. I brought my entire wardrobe from back home and didn’t think that I would need to go shopping so soon.
“Oh thank you Rose, but I’m okay with what I brought. You don’t need to buy me anything.”
“Nonsense, dear. You are not on vacation. You’ll need some things for summer. And you’ll need to go into town anyway to get to know the place. I would take you myself but my week is packed with events.”
The thought of spending my grandmother’s money is unsettling. Maybe I need to get a job. I’d never had one before, but now seems to be the perfect time. I think of a way to pose my next question subtly but notice her looking at me questioningly.
“Maybe you would like to get a job at the community center. I’m not asking you to get one but if you’d feel better earning some spending money then we can see what’s available.”
She can read minds. “Okay,” I answer with a shrug of my shoulders and trace of a smile.
Her face relaxes before she continues. “I know this all must be so strange, not to mention unbelievably difficult, so please let me do what I can to make this a smooth transition for you.”
By this comment I’m certain Rose isn’t crazy about me getting a job and I’m suddenly overwhelmed with all the questions I want to ask. Somehow I don’t think that any of them are appropriate right now. There’s so much I want to know about my mom, Rose, my grandfather, and this place in general. I tell myself in due time I’ll have the opportunity.
“Charlotte says that you have leadership roles in the town. What exactly do you do?” I don’t hide my curiosity.
Rose perks up a bit; I can tell she’s passionate about her work for the city. “A few things dear, and they keep me fairly busy. I am Homeowner Association President of our subdivision. And I am on the town council as senior member and on the Community Event Chair. I manage committee groups to help keep our little city clean, safe, and active. And like I said before, I have many connections with the community center. It was actually built with a donation from your grandfather and me so I ensure it’s running smoothly. The town calls it Summer Island.”
There is silence now, except for the clinking of silverware as food enters our mouths. My grandmother is not only rich, but she funded an entire community center named Summer Island? Who is this woman?
Rose is unsteady as she stands, showing her age. But the rest of the movements are young and fluid. She heads for the door to the great room, turning one last time to speak.
“You know, the last time Grace was in this town she was 18 and looked almost iden
tical to you. You are blessed with her beauty.”
As Rose says my mother’s name, my heart sinks deep into my stomach. She vanishes down the hall and I have suddenly lost my appetite. Sadness washes over me and I slide my plate of food away. “I’m sorry,” is all I can mutter to Charlotte.
Charlotte takes my plate from me without a word and walks off toward the kitchen, leaving me to myself. I turn my eyes away from the table to the great big open windows that overlooks the Bay and sigh. There’s something incredibly inviting about the view before me. That’s where I should be right now.
I hate to admit it, but even after going my entire life without knowing her, my grandmother feels somewhat familiar to me. Though there is an air about her that runs ill through my thoughts. It’s as if she’s known me my whole life.
A short while later, I’m back in my room searching for something to wear. After that awful dream last night, dry sweat coats my body. Maybe a swim is what I need.
My hope is to wash away all of the pain that has flooded me in the past month. Is it possible to make it all just go away? Better yet, can I turn back the hands of time so I can see my mother again?
And then the big question consumes me. Did my mom know that I would live here if something were to happen to her? She had to have known. Nothing made sense anymore.
The second I reach the sand I feel a release inside me that I know I’ve needed. I take a deep breath, sucking in the salty sea air. Sand sinks in between my toes with each step, the tiny grains exfoliating my skin, as I continue to move effortlessly towards the Tampa Bay shore. It is easy to let my mind go and lose myself to the gentle breeze. As I progress forward, I do so blindly. I peel my coral romper from my body; toss it aside, and aim for the Bay for a swim. I think about earlier events…
Charlotte greeted me at the bottom of the grand staircase before my venture to the beach. She smiled. “Good afternoon, Kat. I’m heading into town to run a few errands but I thought I’d give you the tour first so you can start finding your way around here.”
I let Charlotte lead me all over the much-too-large house, admiring each room for every bit of exquisite detail.
The main floor was daunting with its 30-foot high-coffered ceilings, supported by cast Italian stone columns, reaching to the upper floor gallery, which was where the great room sat overlooking water vistas and breathtaking views of the Bay front. The formal dining room, which we sat in that morning, had been meticulously cleaned. Next, Charlotte led me through the arch into a gourmet kitchen enriched with solid wood custom cabinets and polished ogee edge granite counter tops. A casual dining room sat off in a nook overlooking the beach, with a massive living room beyond that.
Charlotte led me upstairs next. “What’s down that hallway?” I asked Charlotte, my eyes catching the dark and empty hallway to my left.
“Oh, I guess you could call that area Rose’s Quarters. Her bedroom, the library, and her den are all down that hall. She wants to show you that herself.”
That’s right. I remember her saying something about that at breakfast.
Charlotte continued the tour showing me one guest bedroom and the Master Suite, which was my room. I must have looked at Charlotte with an odd sideways glance because she laughed. “Unusual I know. Rose doesn’t want the space. She likes having everything in one area and doesn’t like the stairs so she gave the Master to you.”
“Then why such a large home? Don’t get me wrong. This place is gorgeous but I can’t imagine one person needing…” I wave my arms around me, “all of this.”
I could tell Charlotte agreed but she has a loyalty about her. Charlotte had clearly become a close companion to Rose.
Charlotte surprised me with an answer. “Rose has lived in Apollo Beach most of her life. There’s a status that she thinks she must uphold. Rose and your grandfather had the house built 10 years ago after the fire.”
“Fire? What fire?” Since my mother never spoke of Rose or Apollo Beach she sure as heck never told me about any fire.
Charlotte’s eyes flitted away from mine, her eyebrows slightly scrunched. “Your mom never told you about the fire?”
I shook my head at Charlotte, an awful feeling rose in my stomach. What is with all the secrets around here? “She never said a word.”
“I guess she wouldn’t have if you two didn’t have a relationship with your grandparents. I shouldn’t have assumed you knew. Forget I said anything about it. Rose will tell you all about it in time.”
But I didn’t give in. Charlotte let something slip and I wanted to know what the secret was. “You can’t do that. What fire? When? Where?”
Charlotte looked as though she’d been caught. “I really should let Rose tell you, Kat. I’m sorry, but it’s just not my place.”
“But you know about it and no one else has told me, so please tell me. Unless you want me to march down to Rose’s den and demand answers, please just tell me.” I begged her and finally I could see her caving in.
“Oh fine.” Her eyes narrow as if she’s breaking a law. “A little over 10 years ago, there was an awful fire in the estate. No one even knows how the fire started but your grandfather was in the library when it all began. He was trapped for a long time and everyone began to believe he was dead. When help finally arrived the firemen were able to help him out safely but he had many respiratory issues as a result. It killed him a year later but not until after he’d started rebuilding the house. Rose didn’t want to leave the place that your grandfather and her had lived their whole lives. So she sought out help to care for Summer Estate and I came into the picture a few years ago.”
Such a tragic story. My poor grandfather. But the more I heard of the story, the more puzzled I became. Why did my mom keep so many secrets from me? I’m sure she knew about the fire. Wouldn’t she have wanted to visit him? After all, he did care for her like a father, even if it was only a couple of years. And why didn’t she want me to meet my own grandparents? I could only imagine that seeing Summer Estates again would remind her of my dad and their life together – before he disappeared from our lives.
I began to wonder if Rose knew anything about my father. Has she heard from him? Is he even still alive? I shook away the thoughts that I’ve never allowed myself to think much about. Someone who could just disappear from my life and leave my mother to take care of a child alone is not worth my thoughts.
“Thank you for the tour, Charlotte. I was thinking that maybe I could take a walk on the beach now.”
Charlotte nodded, looking almost hesitant at first and stopped me just before I reached the back door. “That’s fine I suppose. Just be back in time for dinner. Is there anything you need at the store?”
I shook my head and stepped outside, grateful to be alone with my thoughts.
As I made my way past the back patio, around the pool and out the back gate, I wondered about Charlotte for the hundredth time in the past 24 hours. What are her responsibilities exactly? And what are her responsibilities towards me?
Exhilarated from my short swim I pull myself from the water and throw on my clothes. Rose’s private beachfront is the most spacious in comparison to the other homes on the coast. Some homes were robbed of a beachfront and instead are piled up against rocks to protect them from the water’s edge.
Even from this angle it’s not hard to notice that Rose’s estate is the most intimidating. Though there is one other that seems a bit unusual. It is a darker shade of orange and appears to have a much larger pool, with beautiful lion statues.
Minutes later, I have passed all of the houses down the strip of sand and now find myself at an area of beach that leads to a long rock walkway and juts out into the Bay.
A group of boys my age are sharing in a game of volleyball at the shore’s edge. A group of teen girls are basking in the glorious sun on the sidelines. I envy what it is to be one of those teens, no worries in the world, just enjoying their young lives.
The volleyball game looks like quite the competition. Ev
en the female onlookers are deep into the game as they cheer on the sidelines. I am intrigued by the effort of each player as they keep the ball waving back and forth through the air. Time seems to slow down as I witness a spike of the ball. I cringe just as the ball hits the face of an opposing player.
To my left, sunbathers lay with oiled skin. Young swimmers frolic near the shore. As I continue down the rock pathway, the music of a teen’s stereo grows faint behind me and that’s when I come to the end of pier. But instead of turning around I stop and take a seat on the rocks, letting my feet touch the Bay water.
I lean back on my hands as I look up at the bright blue sky. I close my eyes and let out a sigh. This is the first time in a month that I have felt anything close to peace. I can finally breathe. In fact, being here in this spot, as the sun soaks into my bones, is like I’ve escaped the world, and it’s exhilarating.
Time passes. I remain still as memories of my mom flash through my mind like a moving picture book. Her bright smile, as I’d come through the door after playing basketball. Her quick paced walk everywhere she went, always in a hurry. Our bicycle races, her warm hugs after revealing my insecurities, the silly faces she’d make when I’d ask her about a date – no one was good enough for her. I’ll never forget the sight of her reading the newspaper every morning as she sat on the couch holding a fresh cup of coffee. Her scent after her nightly shower was always fresh with the odor of baby powder scattered over her body.
Sadness seeps into my memories and this time I won’t allow it. I’ll never be done missing my mother but I refuse to cry while remembering the good memories we shared. Instead, I just drown myself in more memories.
I force my eyes open as a jolt of reality hits me. When did I lie down? I sit up with a lurch. Where am I? The sky has darkened considerably since I first arrived at the end of the rock walkway.
Still disoriented, I look around me and make out the shape of the moon. As I slowly climb out of the haze my heart beats faster. How could I have slept the entire day? I stare out at the end of the rocks into the Bay. It must have been those pills Charlotte gave me.