She stood there in the shaft of moonlight, her beautiful body bared to him. The gentle slope of her shoulders tapered to graceful arms. Her pale breasts were round and firm, the perfect size to fit in his hand. He could almost feel the dusky centers budding against his palm, his tongue. Her waist nipped in precisely the way a woman’s waist should. Her hips were slim, almost boyish. He followed them down the endless length of her shapely legs to the daintiest pair of feet he’d ever seen. Her toes curled against the floor.
Finally he let his gaze trail back up her legs to the shadowed triangle where her thighs met. Honey gold curls shielded the secrets of her womanhood. Secrets he longed to learn. Secrets she offered to him when she said, “Make love to me, Ash.”
For one startling moment his heart stopped. Then it lurched and thundered and whacked against his ribs. “God, Sunny…”
She stepped out of her nightgown and took one slow step toward him. “Remember the first time I bathed you, here in this bed? I never knew one person’s skin could have so many different textures. I remember thinking, how can his arms feel like smooth leather and his stomach like silk.”
“Sunny—”
She took another step.
God, help me.
“Did you know the hair on your legs and arms is softer than the hair on your chest?” She took another step, leaving the moonlight and entering the shadows. She, herself, became a pale shadow beside him. One more step and he’d be lost.
“The hair on your head is soft, too, and thick, but your beard is rough.”
He raised his hand and caught himself reaching to feel his cheeks.
“And everywhere, underneath all that hair, all that skin, I remember thinking, how can a man’s muscles be so hard.” She took another step. If he reached out, he could touch her.
He reached out. His hand was trembling. He jerked it back.
“And do you know what happened to me after I gave you that bath?”
“Sunny…”
“I started having dreams.”
Ash lay down. He couldn’t reach her if he was lying down. He prayed she wouldn’t come any closer. He was hot and hard. And she was killing him.
“I dreamed it was you who gave me the bath. I felt your hands touching me, gliding over my skin. Your callouses made me tingle.”
Ash clenched his fists. “Enough, Sunny. Don’t do this.”
She took another step.
He groaned.
“But when I woke, hot and aching for your touch,” she said, “you weren’t there. No matter how many times I dreamed that dream, you were never there.”
She reached for the sheet. “Be there for me tonight, Ash, just tonight. That’s all I ask.”
She had the edge of the sheet several inches above the mattress before Ash had the presence of mind to reach out and grab her wrist to stop her. He felt the rapid fluttering of her pulse. “Sunny—”
“Don’t send me away, Ash.” Even her voice fluttered. “If you send me away, I’ll never know.”
“Never know what?” His own voice was none too steady.
“What it’s like to be with a man, to do the things a man and a woman were meant to do.”
He wanted to tell her how wrong she was. There would be other men, better men. She could take her pick. But the mere idea of Sunny with another man stung him to silence.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said, “but you’re wrong. You’re the only man I’ll ever—”
Her words were sweet, sweet music to his bruised soul, but he couldn’t let her make a vow like that. He cut off her words by tugging on her wrist until she fell beside him on the bed. He silenced her gasp with his lips against hers.
He had intended for the kiss to be light and easy, to calm her enough to talk her into going back to her own room, her own bed. But the instant her body trembled against his, melted against his, with nothing but a thin sheet between them, he was lost. He clutched her to him, starved for the taste of her, the feel of her heart pounding against his.
Sunny felt the tension, the desperation in Ash’s arms, in his lips. Her heart soared. He wants me. She wrapped her arms around him and lost herself in the feelings that swamped her. Tension. Excitement. Longing. And heat.
The heat swirled inside her head and filtered clear down to her toes. His lips were hot and wet and demanding. She met his tongue and danced with it, savoring the sharp taste of tobacco. She felt, heard his groan. Until then she hadn’t realized she’d been rocking her hips against his.
He tore his mouth from hers. She feared it was so he could move away, but instead, he lowered one arm to her hips and pressed her more tightly against him. His hardness shocked her, thrilled her, where it pressed against her stomach. She whispered his name.
“You should run, you know that, don’t you?”
The oddest thing happened when she heard the pain, the uncertainty in his voice. Her trembling stopped. “No,” she whispered. She cupped a hand along his jaw and felt the day’s growth of whiskers scrape against her palm. She pressed her lips to his. “This is where I belong.”
“Sunny—”
“For tonight. Just for tonight.”
She sensed his inner struggle. She rocked her hips against his. He sucked in his breath. His arms tightened around her. In that moment, she learned her first lesson in loving. She couldn’t match him strength for strength. And in most instances, his will was stronger than hers. But when she felt his hands tremble against her back, she knew her body could overpower his mind. She rubbed against him again, taking shameless advantage. “Love me, Ash.”
His lips captured hers again, fiercely. While still kissing her, he rolled to his back and took her with him. He took her breath and sent fire dancing along every nerve ending. Then he rolled again, and they lay on their sides, facing each other.
“I’ll hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
His whisper sounded harsh with torment. She eased her head back to look at him. “I know.”
“Do you?”
She cupped his face in both hands and kissed him. “Yes.” She kissed him again.
“Wait.” He rolled away from her.
The sudden loss of his arms, his warmth, left her chilled. She tugged the sheet from beneath her and covered herself. Every insecurity she’d ever had rose up and started her trembling again. Was he going to stop? Send her away?
He scooted to the edge of the bed and turned his back to her. She heard him fumbling at the bedside table.
Scrape.
A match flared. He raised the globe on the lamp and lit the wick, then turned it down to a soft, intimate glow.
After blowing out the match and dropping it in the saucer he used for an ashtray, he paused. Stiff ridges of muscles stood out along his back. Without thinking, Sunny reached out and stroked his shoulder. His skin was smooth and warm.
He flinched. She jerked her hand away. Did he not want her touch?
He turned toward her then. For the first time since she’d entered the room, she saw his face clearly. Why, he’s as unsure of himself as I am.
The revelation stunned her. He always seemed so sure of himself. A man of conviction, of firm decisions, of action. Her heart ached to see the vulnerability in his eyes.
Her own uncertainties were of the unknown. But Ash’s were different. He was fighting himself, and her. He wanted her. It was there in his eyes, in the catch of his breath. But he was afraid of hurting her. And he was determined as ever to leave in the morning. That, too, was in his eyes.
He studied her as closely as she studied him. “Are you sure, Sunshine?”
She met his piercing, yearning gaze head on and held it. If he left in the morning, so be it. There was still tonight. She held out her arms to him. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
He hung there on the edge of the bed for what seemed like an eternity to Sunny. Her arms, still held out to him, started to tremble. Then finally, finally, he came to her. His arms swept her to
his chest, and he trailed kisses, hot and fervent, across her face and down her neck. “Ah, Sunny, you taste so sweet.”
Ash felt her total surrender and was awed by it. Never had a woman respond so passionately to his simple kisses.
But then, when he and Sunny kissed, there was nothing simple about it. Each kiss grew more complicated, more intense, more laced with emotion than the last.
She wanted him. And God help him, he wanted her. More than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. More, even, than he’d wanted his freedom for the past five years. More than he’d wanted the use of his legs the past weeks. More than he wanted to breathe.
He’d tried. Honest, God, I tried to stay way from her. I tried to send her away.
But how could he resist what no normal man in his right mind could resist? How could he keep fighting both his own feelings and hers? How could he fight something so powerful he couldn’t begin to control it? Something so…right?
He couldn’t. He didn’t want to any more. And she didn’t want him too, either. “Tonight, then,” he whispered against her lips. “Just for tonight.”
“Yes.”
Her simple answer, the acceptance, the longing in her soft, golden eyes, eased the tension within him.
Then a new kind of tension built, urged on by the fire in his loins. He fought to control it. He couldn’t rush her. If all they had was this one night, he swore he’d make damn sure it was a night neither of them would ever forget. He wanted to tell her all the things a woman should hear her first time with a man. He wanted to make it good for her. So good she couldn’t possibly regret it. For that, he had to slow down.
He eased away from her. “I want to see you.”
The heat of her answering gaze nearly scorched him.
He leaned on one arm and trailed a finger across what had to be the softest shoulder God had ever created.
She answered with a shiver.
“Are you cold?”
She smiled. “No.”
He smiled back. Then he eased the sheet away from her. “Beautiful.” He started at one knee and ran his hand slowly up her thigh, just missing the triangle of golden curls, and stopped at her waist. Soft. Her skin was so soft. Like a bird to nest, his hand slid up to cup a firm, full breast. “So beautiful.”
He brushed a thumb over her nipple.
She stiffened and sucked in a sharp breath.
Ash’s gaze flew to her face. Her eyes were closed, her mouth open. His thumb took another swipe.
She made a purring sound deep in her throat, and her hands came up and clutched his biceps.
Her response nearly drove him wild. He stroked her again. “You like that?”
Her eyes fluttered open. Their golden heat stoked an answering flame somewhere deep inside him.
“My dream,” she managed between gasping breaths, “was never this good.”
Ash leaned down to kiss her.
Before his lips took hers, she whispered, “Is this…how it’s done?”
“Ah, Sunshine.” He teased her with short, swift pecks. “This is only the beginning.” He opened his mouth over hers.
Sunny welcomed the invasion of his tongue. Her whole body felt like one huge, empty vessel, just waiting for him to fill her. His kiss stole her breath. His hand at her breast stirred sensations more powerful than any she’d dreamed possible.
His mouth slid from hers to trail hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses down her neck. She’d never known, had had no idea, there was anything like this in the world. She clung to him, drowning in emotions she couldn’t contain.
When his mouth settled over the tip of her breast, her mind spun away from reality. The world narrowed to two people, a man and a woman—her man, his woman—on a feather tick.
She was his woman. She’d known it for weeks, felt it in her bones. She knew in her heart no other man would ever touch her this way.
And then he touched her a new way.
With his lips and tongue and teeth, he nipped and soothed and suckled her nipple. She felt a tugging deep inside, in her very core.
The hand at her breast slid down to her waist, then lower. Before she knew what was happening, he was cupping that most private place between her thighs. She bucked and gasped beneath his firm, sure touch, feeling a throbbing emptiness that begged to be filled.
As he trailed blistering kisses to her other breast, his fingers did…something wonderful.
Ash fought for control. “You feel so good.” Too good. Too hot, too tight, too wet. He had to have her. Had to bury himself inside her. But he had to make certain she would feel the same pleasure he knew waited for him.
So he kissed her and stroked her. He searched out every sensitive place on her body and reveled in her gasps of pleasure.
“Touch me.”
The plea tumbled from his lips and stunned him. He hadn’t meant to say the words. This time was for her pleasure, not his. He hadn’t realized how badly he craved her touch.
And when she touched him, not shyly, as he expected, but boldly, eagerly, he trembled. And when her delicate, bold fingers trailed down his chest, down his stomach, to touch his throbbing hardness, he thought he might die with the sheer pleasure of it.
And when she wrapped her hand around him, he forgot that he was all wrong for her. He forgot he was leaving tomorrow. He forgot…he forgot to breathe.
He didn’t remember ever losing control this way before. Slowing down was no longer an option for him. If he didn’t bury himself deep inside her right now, he knew he’d burst in her hand.
He moved over her. She cradled him in her arms, between her thighs, and for him, it was like coming home. It was meant to be. He braced himself on his elbows and urgently captured her lips with his. He pushed his way inside slowly until he felt the barrier.
She stiffened.
From somewhere, the control came and allowed him to ease back a little. He slipped a hand between their bodies. With fingers that felt suddenly stiff and clumsy, he delved her folds and found the tiny nub. Her hips moved to the rhythm he set. It was more than he could take. He thrust sharply through her maidenhead and sank into her.
With the last ounce of his will, he held himself still, giving her time to get used to the fullness of him. His kiss gentled. He felt her gradually relax beneath him while she tightened around him. “Are you all right?”
Her chest heaved with a sigh. “Are we…finished?”
Ash raised his head and smiled. There was no pain in her eyes. Instead he saw flames of passion. “Ah, Sunshine.” He nipped at her lips. “The best is yet to come.”
He moved then, watching her carefully for a sign he was hurting her. Her eyes widened, the flames in them burning brighter. God, she was incredible. She moved beneath him and drove him wild.
Then they were moving together, thrusting, gasping, clutching. Tension mounted unbearably. The rope supporting the mattress creaked.
God, he’d never felt anything like this in his life. Nothing so hot, so urgent, so consuming. Nothing so right.
Then she was clutching him, calling his name in a harsh whispering cry. Her inner muscles convulsed around him, pulling him over the edge with her, into bright bursts of light.
Sunshine.
The first thing Ash became aware of was moisture on his cheek where it pressed against hers. He raised his head to find tears streaming from her closed eyes. “Oh, God, I hurt you.”
Her eyes fluttered open. She smiled softly and brought a hand to his cheek. “No.”
“You’re crying.”
Her smile deepened. “Not from pain. Oh, Ash, I had no idea it would be so…so incredible.”
Her words, the soft glow in her eyes, set his heart on a slow, insistent beat. “You’re pretty incredible yourself, Sunshine Thornton.”
She raised her head and kissed his chin. “You’ve called me that before. Just out of curiosity, how did you know my real name?”
“Sunshine?”
She nodded.
“I didn’
t. It just seemed to suit you.”
She wrapped her silken arms around his neck, sending delicious shivers down his spine. “You suit me.” She raised her head to reach him with her lips.
Ash swallowed. The shattering satisfaction he’d just experienced should have left him limp and lifeless. But her soft, seductive voice, the kisses she was planting along his jaw, warned him he might never get enough of her.
Then she flexed her hips.
Ash sucked in his breath and felt himself grow hard again while still inside her.
She lowered her head to the pillow, a look of wonder on her face. “Again?”
He steeled himself and fought for control. “No. We can’t, Sunny.”
She moved her hips again. “Are you sure?”
Lord, help him. “This was your first time. You’ll be sore tomorrow.”
Her eyes darkened. “And you’ll be gone.”
Yes. He would be gone. In all probability, he’d never see her again, never touch her, never kiss her, never hold her after tonight. He knew, even though she didn’t, that what they had just shared was so special, he’d had no idea it existed. And he knew with a certainty that he would never find this feeling again with any other woman.
“Love me, Ash. Love me again.”
He lowered his lips to hers, drowning in a sea of sensation, of emotions he didn’t know how to handle, burning in the wildness of her fire. “Sunshine.”
They took each other to the stars again. And again.
And for a brief time, they both forgot he would be leaving in the morning.
Chapter Seventeen
Sunny tied a clean apron around her waist, then lit the stove. She had barely made it back to her room to dress for the day before Katy woke up. But Sunny wasn’t sleepy. A little tired, yes. And Ash had been right. With every step she took she felt a delicious soreness in a place she’d never felt at all before.
But then, she had been right, too. Ash would leave today. How was she to stand it? How could she drive him to town and come home without him without making a fool of herself by begging him to stay?
How could he leave her after what they’d shared last night?
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