by Ivy Smoak
"I think happiness is the most important thing."
He nodded his head. "You're right. Happiness is the most important thing." He paused and stared out into the other room. "You see what it's like to defy her. It's easier to let her have her way. I've been taking the easy way out my whole life. I let her direct my family's lives and mine long enough, though."
"Maybe try taking James' side sometimes. He needs that."
He was quiet for a moment as he stared out into the other room. "Fifteen years ago, I decided to get divorced. I realized my life was built on the wrong foundation. There was no happiness, as you put it. Our house was filled with tension. It didn't feel like a home. Our children did everything they could to be away. We were all miserable. But I didn't want to abandon my family. I didn't want to cop out. It seemed unfair to leave them to suffer and for me to get to escape. Especially when I had helped make our home toxic. When I had sat back and done nothing to make it a real home. I failed as a father. I realize that. I went to my lawyer to file the necessary paperwork, but I couldn't do it. I stayed, but it didn't make anything better. I just suffered alongside of my children. I was hard on James because in reality, I wasn't strong. I wanted him to be better than me. I've always wanted what was best for him. But me staying made me an even worse father. I was hard on all my kids. I took it out on them." He shook his head. "I finally filed the papers with my lawyer this morning. Susan doesn't know. None of my children know. I want to make all of this better. I spent 15 years being a coward. I have a lot to make up for, I realize that. But I'm going to start trying."
James was so much like his father. They both carried the weight of the world on their shoulders. They suffered to make others happy. "Why are you telling me this?"
"To show you how much I do care about my family. I love all of my children. And I want to be a part of your lives. Right now you're the closest to giving me grandchildren." He gave me a playful smile that reminded me so much of James.
I laughed. "Not that close. We're going to wait awhile."
"It's good to take the time to enjoy each other." He opened up the fridge and grabbed a juice box. "You know, my wife never allowed these in the house."
"I know." I smiled as I watched him drink from the tiny straw. "You need to tell James everything you just told me. He needs to hear it from you."
"Hear what from him?" James walked through the doorway and wrapped his arm protectively around my waist. "You okay?"
I glanced at Jon. "I'm great. But I think you two need to talk." I stepped away from James' arm and smiled up at him.
"You found yourself a great girl," Jon said.
James' eyes left mine and he lowered both his eyebrows.
That was probably my cue to leave. "Thanks, Jon."
James folded his arms across his chest as I left them alone. He was already closing himself off. I hoped he'd listen to his dad. Maybe they could fix this. I hoped that they could.
Chapter 12
Friday
Most everyone had left by the time I walked back into the living room. The bridal party had moved to the couches and they were all laughing about something. I collapsed between Melissa and Bee.
"I'm officially exhausted," I said.
Bee laughed. "But our slumber party hasn't even started yet!"
I sighed and put my head on Melissa's shoulder. I glanced around at my friends. Mason's arm was wrapped firmly around Bee's shoulders. Daphne was sitting on Rob's lap. They looked so comfortable together. And everyone else was smiling like they just had a blast, despite all the awkwardness. Tonight had officially been a success. Especially if James could patch things up with his dad.
"What time do you think the lingerie pillow fight will start?" Rob asked. "I need to know when to casually stop by to check on you ladies tonight."
"Ew, Rob," Jen said and tossed a pillow at him. She stuck her tongue out at him and turned to face me. "So, what were you talking to my dad about?"
"I was just getting to know him." It wasn't my place to tell Jen or Rob about their dad filing for divorce. I wondered if they'd be happy or sad. Based on how they all acted around their parents, they'd probably be relieved. "He was wondering when he could expect grandchildren."
Jen laughed. "Having kids is the last thing on my mind right now. I'm not even dating anyone." She glanced at Rob.
Rob smiled. "Geez, it's a little soon. We've barely been dating a week." He tossed the pillow back at his sister. "But I am excited to be an uncle." He winked at me.
I shook my head. "I'm betting that Rob will have kids first."
Daphne laughed.
"What are you laughing about?" Rob asked. He tickled her side and she laughed again.
"Nothing," Daphne said. "It's just that you probably will have kids first. You're incredibly irresponsible."
"Burn," Matt said.
Rob laughed. "We could go be irresponsible right now." He kissed the side of Daphne's neck.
"Actually, I should probably get going." She slid off his lap. "I guess I'll see all of you tomorrow?"
"You should stay," I said.
"What?"
"We rented a hotel room for just us girls tonight. Kind of a slumber party like Bee said. The guys are staying in a room down the hall from us."
"Oh, I don't want to impose..."
"No, please stay. It'll be fun."
Rob smiled at me.
"Um, okay, if you're sure?" Daphne said.
"I'm positive."
I expected anything Rob to do to be fast and crazy. Maybe they'd be walking down the aisle before Bee and Mason. I wanted to get to know Daphne. After our wedding we'd be leaving for our honeymoon. It would be fun to get to know her tonight.
"I should probably go home real quick to grab some stuff though."
"We can just stop on the way. Don't worry about it."
"Get lost, boys," Bee said and kissed Mason on the cheek. "It's time to get this party started!"
He laughed. "I'm going to need more than that." I looked away as they started making out.
Melissa rolled her eyes. I was so happy that she wasn't upset right now. She was handling the break up well. And probably her anger toward me for my part in it.
"I need to get my beauty sleep," Matt said. He stood up and stretched. "I need to be on my game tomorrow to scope out the hot single ladies. Unless Melissa or Jen just wants to agree to join me in my hotel room tomorrow night."
Jen laughed. "In your dreams, Matt."
Melissa just laughed and didn't say anything.
"I'm taking that as a yes, Melissa."
"I did not say yes."
"But you didn't say no either." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. He whispered something in her ear that made her face flush. "And besides, I'm great at rebound sex."
"You're such a tool." She pushed on his chest so he'd let go of her.
He laughed. "I'll let you know my room number tomorrow."
"Not necessary." She sat back down next to me.
"Everyone ready to go?" James asked.
I glanced over his shoulder, but I didn't see his father. He must have already slipped out. "Yeah. Ellen packed our bags. I'll come grab them with you." I walked silently beside him up the staircase. I thought he might say what he talked about with his dad. But he wasn't saying anything at all.
"She left my dress and your tux in the closet," I said. I opened up my suitcase really quick to make sure I had everything. Of course, Ellen had packed it to perfection. I'd need to thank her again tomorrow.
"Wow, this is heavy," he said as he lifted up my dress. A cover was draped over it so that he couldn't see it.
"You should have seen how heavy some of the other ones were." I waited for another moment. "What did your father say?"
"He apologized."
"Is that it?"
"I think you may have broken my dad."
I laughed. "He seemed different tonight."
"You mean like he didn't have a stick up his a
ss? Yeah, I guess."
"I talked to him for awhile. He seemed sorry."
"He should be sorry," said James.
"It's a start."
"I guess so." He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on the top of my head. "Baby, I really just want to focus on us right now. Everything else can wait till later. But I'm glad he's trying. Thank you for that."
"You're welcome."
"Maybe we can keep the divorce to ourselves? I don't want...my mom doesn't even know."
"I wasn't going to tell anyone anyway."
"Thank you." He continued to hold me. "Do you want to just stay here tonight? I already had to sleep without you last night."
I tilted my head back. "One last night apart. And then after that, you never have to fall asleep without me again."
He leaned down and placed a soft kiss against my lips. "If that's what you want."
"It's tradition."
"Okay, baby. How's your stomach feeling?"
"So much better, thank you. I was just nervous and hungry and," I sighed, "nervous."
"You said nervous twice."
"That's because I'm super nervous."
He smiled. "Nothing to be nervous about. Let's get you and your heavy dress to your hotel room. Porter is going to stay outside your room tonight to make sure you're all safe."
"Is that really necessary?"
"I'd feel better if you'd let him."
"Okay. If that's what you want."
"What I want is to stay here." He gave me one of his smiles that was hard to say no to.
I laughed. "I'll see you at the altar tomorrow, James."
"What, you're not even sharing a car to the hotel with me?"
"No, because I know you'll end up convincing me to turn it around and come back here."
He laughed. "Well in that case." He grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me hard. His other hand slid to my ass as he pulled me against him. I ran my fingers through his hair as his kiss deepened.
"Stop having sex you guys!" Rob yelled from downstairs. "We're all waiting for you."
James groaned into my mouth. "I feel like we just wasted time. They all thought we were having sex anyway."
"Tomorrow." I patted his chest.
He kissed me once more. "Tomorrow."
***
"Truth or dare, Daphne?" Jen asked.
"Um. Truth," said Daphne
Jen smiled. "Are you in love with my brother?"
"Which one?" Bee asked. "You should really be more specific." She grabbed the bowl of popcorn out of Jen's hand.
Jen laughed. "Rob of course."
"It's so soon," Daphne said. "I mean, that's crazy."
"I didn't ask if it was crazy or too soon. I just asked if you loved him. Yes or no?"
Daphne pressed her lips together. It looked like she was trying not to smile. "Yes."
Jen squealed. "I know I said it was just a yes or no. But now I need to know everything. How serious are you guys?"
"I don't know. He's talking about moving to New York. I mean, he wanted me to meet all of you. I know it's fast, but," she smiled, "I can't stop thinking about him. He just has this positive energy about him. I really need that in my life. He just makes me so happy."
"I'm so happy for you guys," I said. "You just seem so nice and sweet and understanding."
"Can I ask you something personal, Penny?" asked Daphne.
"Of course."
"Before you dated James, did you date Rob?"
I laughed. "Wait, what? Why would you ask that?"
"He just talks about you in a weird way. Like super flirtatiously, I guess. I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. I was just wondering."
"No, I never dated Rob. We're just like...the best of friends. That's just the way he is."
"It's true," Bee said. "You should hear some of the inappropriate things he's said to me. But he doesn't mean it. He's just being funny. We barely notice it anymore."
Daphne laughed. "Oh, good. I was just worried you had all slept with him. I mean, not you Jen, obviously."
Jen pretended to vomit.
Melissa shoved a huge handful of popcorn in her mouth and nodded along. I was hoping she wouldn't mention the fact that she had slept with Rob a few years ago. Especially since it meant nothing to Melissa or Rob. Surely Rob would tell her eventually, but it wasn't necessary right now. I wanted us all to be able to be friends.
"Okay, truth or dare, Penny?" Daphne asked.
"Truth." None of us were choosing dare. We all just wanted to talk. This was just a fun way to do it with a new person in our group.
"Are you nervous at all about tomorrow?"
I had some unanswered questions about James. But the answers wouldn't affect my decision to marry him. I had wanted to be with him ever since I had run into him in that coffee shop. It had always been us. There wasn't a doubt in my mind about that. "Not about marrying him. More so just about everything going smoothly. It's silly, but I don't want him to be thinking about his first wedding at all. I want it to be perfect so that there is no comparison."
"He won't be," Jen said and squeezed my knee. "I'm pretty sure he was stoned when he married Isabella."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I doubt he even remembers it. He was mess."
I thought about that for a second. "And even that makes me a little nervous. I'm worried he's going to change his mind at the last minute and not show up. I know it's ridiculous. But you know, like if he realizes he's making a mistake again."
"I don't think you have to worry about that," Melissa said. "James has been obsessed with you ever since you first met. He wanted to marry you as soon as you moved to New York. The only reason it took this long was because you wanted to graduate first."
"I know." I shrugged my shoulders. "It's still scary."
"Mason would never let him skip town," Bee said. "I actually made him promise not to lose track of him tonight after what happened this morning. "I got your back, girl."
I laughed. "Thanks. I have no idea why I'm nervous, I just am. I feel like my stomach is filled with butterflies."
"That's why you should be drinking with us," Jen said and raised her glass.
"No way. I don't want to have a hangover for my wedding."
"I sure do."
I laughed. "Okay, Jen. Truth or dare," I said.
"Since everyone is being super lame, dare!"
"I knew you'd say that. I dare you to ask Ian on a date tomorrow."
"Ian? As in, your driver Ian?"
"What other Ian would I be talking about?"
She laughed and took a sip of her drink. "Ian's not interested in me. Besides, even if he was, I live on the other side of the country. And it would just never work."
"See. You didn't say anything about not liking him."
"Of course I like him. He's sweet and funny. And he always goes out of his way to help me. But that's his job. He doesn't like me like that."
"Trust me, he likes you."
"Did he say that?"
"You should hear how excited he gets whenever you're coming to visit."
"Stop messing with me, Penny."
"I'm serious! Besides, you have to ask him out tomorrow. You can't break a dare."
"Fine, I'll ask him. But he's going to say no. And then I'll be mortified and never be able to come back to New York."
"He's going to say yes and then you'll be the first ones running about with grandchildren for your parents."
Daphne laughed. "Good. That was too much pressure for me."
We all laughed.
"Geez, kids," Bee said. "I can't even picture that right now. That seems like a million years away. We should seriously all plan to have kids at the same time. They can all grow up and be best friends too."
"I'm not even dating anyone," Melissa said.
"It sounded like Matt wanted to change that," Jen said.
"Matt isn't interested in a relationship. He just wants sex. It seems like that's all anyone ev
er wants with me. Tyler and I lasted for like 5 seconds. I don't even know how to be in a relationship anymore. I really liked him. I thought...God I don't know what I thought. He was such a nice guy. And even he just used me. I'm such an idiot."
I knew that Tyler didn't use Melissa for sex. He did like her. He just didn't love her. It still hurt to think that Tyler wouldn't be at my wedding tomorrow. And it hurt to know that he was hurting and Melissa was hurting and it was all because of me.
"I'm so sorry," I said. "Melissa, I know you said you didn't want to talk about it, but..."
"I'm not mad at you. It's not your fault. It's me. Everyone always leaves me. I have some internal flaw that disgusts people or something."
Daphne laughed.
Melissa glared at her.
"I mean, Melissa, I know I don't know you very well. But couldn't your flaw be that you expect everyone to leave you? So maybe you push them away a little bit?"
"I don't think I do that. Do I do that?" she looked at me.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. Do you?"
She bit her lip.
"I'm sorry," Daphne said. "It's just that I've always been terrified of losing people. So I stopped getting close to people. And if you're doing that too, you should stop. You're going to miss out on someone great if you don't."
"Maybe I push people away. I don't know if it's that exactly. I don't mind being alone. I'm kick ass at being single."
"Here's to that," Jen said.
"I'm just worried about getting hurt. I'm defensive. I hate feeling like I'm not in control of a situation."
"Sounds pretty similar to me," Bee said. "I think you should give Matt a chance. I know him better than you guys because he is literally at our apartment all the freaking time. He has a sweet side just like Rob. You just have to dig a little deeper."
"I think that's true," Daphne said. "Obviously I don't know him as well as any of you. But Rob told me that Matt gets sad at weddings. Because it reminds him that he's alone."
"Matt seriously said that?" Melissa asked.
"That's what Rob said."
"Hm."
"Who's turn is it? Jen?" I asked.
"Guilty," she said.
"Dare Melissa to hang out with Matt tomorrow."