by Ivy Smoak
"Dad." James got up and walked over to him. "Thank you." This time James hugged him.
Watching their exchange brought tear to my eyes. I could feel that this was the start of something better. Maybe Jon would start being a good father right before James became one. I put my hand on my stomach. Be okay. Please be okay.
It looked like they said something else to each other, but I couldn't make it out. James sat back down next to me with a smile on his face.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah." He put his hand on my thigh. "I'd like to say I was surprised by what my mom did. But I'm not. I'm okay, though. My dad was trying to protect me. I'm just going to focus on that instead."
"What did he whisper to you?"
"He told me to try to be better than him. For you. For the baby."
"I don't think you have to try."
"Maybe." He put his hand on my stomach. "When do you think you'll start showing?"
"I have no idea. I don't even know how far along I am."
"Who else knows already?"
"I told my mom, so my dad probably knows too. And you already know I told Rob who told Daphne. That's it."
James smiled. "I'm excited to tell people." He spread his fingers out, covering my whole stomach with his hand.
I put my hand on top of his. "You're really excited about this?"
"I think maybe this baby is everything I didn't know I wanted. I can't stop smiling. I promise that I'm excited." He kissed my cheek as the doctor walked in.
"You ready to get out of here now that all the excitement has calmed down?" she said.
"Yes." He said it more to me than to her. "I'm ready."
I hadn't expected James to be so accepting of this situation. But after everything that happened the past few weeks, maybe he was just counting his blessings too. He was embracing our future because we were lucky enough to have one together.
"You already know you have to come back in a few weeks to get your stitches removed and get a few more vaccines," she said as she looked up from her chart. "And more important than that, you need to get your stress under control. I can't emphasize that enough."
"I will." James rubbed his thumb against my stomach. It reminded me of when he'd do that to my palm. It was equally soothing. I had the feeling that he was doing it for the baby. To show him that he was there for him. Him. I wanted a little James running around. Apparently Rob's thoughts were rubbing off on me.
"So, now for the baby?"
"Yes." James stood up and grabbed my hand. He helped me onto the bed and squeezed my hand when I lay down.
His excitement was contagious. But I was still a little apprehensive. What if it wasn't okay?
"Normally we don't do ultrasounds until a few months in," the doctor said. "But this will give us an idea of how far along you are. If you could just lift your shirt for me?"
I pulled my tank top up so that my stomach was bare.
She put some weird jelly looking stuff on my stomach and ran the wand over my stomach. "And don't be alarmed if I can't find anything. It just means you're not that far along."
I nodded. But as the seconds passed, I started getting concerned.
"Wait," she said as her hand stopped. "There it is." She pointed to the monitor. "That tiny little oval."
It was the smallest little dot on the screen.
James squeezed my hand again. "It's so small." His voice was full of awe. I turned away from the monitor to look at him. His eyes were glistening. He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead. "Can you tell how far along she is?"
"Based on the size, she's probably just about four weeks. Which would put her due date in mid February. Probably right around Valentine's Day."
I found that completely fitting. I squeezed James' hand.
"Can you tell what sex it is?" James asked.
"I don't want to know," I quickly said.
"What? Why?" He was smiling down at me.
"I want it to be a surprise."
He nodded. "Okay."
"It's too soon to tell either way," the doctor said. "We can verify that closer to halfway through the pregnancy. If you change your minds and want to know, that is. But everything looks good. You should make an appointment with your gynecologist in a month or so. They'll be able to give you a more precise due date and make sure everything is progressing normally. Did you want a print out of this?"
"Yes," James said immediately.
She smiled and pressed a button on the keyboard.
"We're going to be parents," James whispered to me. He pressed his forehead against mine.
I put my fingers in his hair. "You're going to be a great dad."
He laughed and placed a soft kiss against my lips. "God I hope so."
Chapter 38
Saturday
It was late when we finally left the hospital. There was something so wonderfully normal about being in the back seat of our car with Ian behind the wheel. It made the past few weeks seem like a terrible nightmare. Except for one thing.
I leaned my head against James' shoulder. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being so excited about this."
"You really thought I wouldn't be?" He ran his fingers through my hair.
"I was nervous that you might not be. And I really didn't mean for it to happen, I..."
"Penny." He tilted my face toward his. "We're lucky to both be alive. This is a blessing."
"I love you. I love you so much, James."
He responded with a kiss. Soft and slow. The kind of kiss that builds in the pit of your stomach and spreads in every directions until your whole body tingles with desire. I grabbed the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. I had been so worried the past few weeks. I hadn't felt this fire since our wedding day.
"You have no idea how badly I want you right now," he whispered against my lips. "All I did was dream of you. All I ever do is dream of you."
"Let's pretend it's our wedding night. Let's pretend nothing bad happened." I felt like we had been robbed of one of the best moments of our lives.
"Baby, I'm already one step ahead of you." He opened up the door. I hadn't even realized that the car had stopped. James leaned over and unbuckled my seatbelt. "Come with me." He stepped out of the car and put his hand out for me.
I grabbed his hand and let him help me out of the car. We were standing outside the hotel we visited the first time he had brought me to the city. It was also where Mason and Bee lived. But I had a feeling we weren't here to see them.
"What are we doing here?"
"Come with me."
We walked hand in hand up the front steps and into the ornate entrance.
The concierge immediately stepped out from behind his desk. "Right this way, Mr. and Mrs. Hunter."
I glanced up at James, but he wasn't giving anything away. He just smiled down at me as we followed the concierge. I heard the music before we reached the door.
"Our song?"
"We don't need to pretend it's our wedding night. Tonight is our wedding night." He pushed open the doors.
A single guitarist was in the ballroom, playing Hands Down the way that we had first heard it together in Central Park. The lights dimmed as I stepped into the room. It was like I was transported back in time to when we visited New York back when I was James' student.
James lightly touched my wrist, sending shivers up my arm. "Penny, may I have this dance?"
I turned around and smiled up at him. "Of course." I clasped my hands behind his neck. "How did you plan all this?"
But he silenced me with a kiss as he pulled me closer toward him. His hands slid down my back stopping right above my ass.
The song ended and the lights cut off, but he didn't stop kissing me. I couldn't see him, I could only feel his hands on me, his lips on me, him pressed against me.
He groaned as I leaned into him and his hands slipped to my ass.
I needed him. He was right, we didn't have to pretend. We had never had
our wedding night together. This was it. "Do we have a room here?" I said breathlessly.
"We do. Or we can go home. Or we can go to the airport and go on our honeymoon. Anywhere you want to go. I just want to be with you."
"Let's go upstairs."
"I was hoping you'd say that."
I could feel his smile against my lips. He grabbed my hand and we walked as quickly as we could toward the elevators.
The concierge looked up as we passed. "Mr. Hunter, do you need..."
"We're good," James said as we stepped onto the elevator. As soon as the doors closed he pressed my back against the side of the elevator. "We're so good." He lifted my hands above my head and kissed me hard. He kissed me like he had that very first time in the pouring rain, pressed against his car.
I'd never get enough of this passion. Or this overwhelming feeling of finally being his. When we first met, I had this feeling that this was something big and scary and perfect. I knew it all along. But I never thought I'd be this lucky. I never thought I'd really be his. And I certainly never thought that he'd be mine.
The doors dinged open and he pulled me into the hall, stopping in front of the same room we had gotten almost three ago. I grabbed the keycard from him and slipped it into the door.
"Wait," he said before I could open the door. He lifted me up into his arms.
"James!" I laughed. "You're not supposed to be lifting anything."
"I'm carrying my new bride through the threshold."
I saw the strain on his face. And the effort he was putting in was admirable, but completely unnecessary. "Put me down. You're going to pull your stitches out again."
"It's tradition, Penny," he said through a clenched jaw as he kicked the door open with his foot. He was breathing heavily as he placed me down on the bed.
"James, sit down."
He didn't protest as he sat down next to me on the bed. "I'm sorry. I wanted tonight to be perfect." He coughed into his hand.
"It is perfect." I straddled him on the bed. "Just take a minute to catch your breath." I put my hands on his shoulders and watched him as his breathing became more steady again. "Why did you bring me here?" I glanced over to the window. I remembered him fucking me against it. I remembered him saying he wanted the whole city to know I was his. The memory sent goosebumps up my legs. I needed him to catch his breath, but all I wanted was for him to do that to me again.
"I was thinking about what you said about Mason and Bee. About how he should propose to her on top of the Empire State Building because it means something to them. And, well, this place means something to me."
"Yeah?" It meant something to me too. That day we had come here was the first time I got to really see him as more than my professor. It somehow made this love seem bigger than us. "What does it mean to you?"
He ran his hand down my back. "Remember the last time we were in this room? You chose a ten dollar comedy show and a walk in Central Park."
"I remember." I somehow knew what he was going to say next and my eyes were already teary.
"It was in that moment that I realized just how good you truly were for me. How much you really cared about me for me. For the first time in forever, I wasn't depressed in New York. Because I had you by my side. And I knew that we could go anywhere in the world and be happy as long as we were together. And I knew I could never let you go. I knew that I needed you in my life forever. You're my light, Penny. You've always been the light to my darkness."
"James, your soul is brighter than you realize."
"I'm sorry I said I was addicted to you. I'm sorry. This is so much bigger than that." He put his hand on the center of my chest. "I'm sorry I ever doubted that. This is love." His hand slid between my breasts and stopped on my stomach. "This is love. Because it's not that I can't live without you. It's that I don't want to. I don't want to live without either of you." He spread his fingers across my stomach. "Because I love you. Baby, I love you so much."
I grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him, knocking him backwards onto the bed. This moment meant more than any other. This was the moment I had waited for my whole life. When our love wasn't clouded by social expectations or issues from our pasts or secrets that we had unwillingly held onto to protect ourselves. This moment was pure just like our love was, just like it always would be.
I slowly pushed up James' t-shirt and leaned down to kiss the stitches on his stomach and on his ribs. He pulled his shirt the rest of the way off and grabbed the hem of my tank top.
I lifted my arms in the air as his fingers slowly traced up the sides of my torso. He pulled it the rest of the way off and unclasped my bra. He watched it slowly fall down my arms. The way he looked at me made me feel like the sexiest girl he had ever seen. Like the only girl he ever saw.
He grabbed my hips and rolled over on top of me.
"James, you're supposed to let me be on top. The doctor said..."
"Fuck that. I'm making love to my beautiful wife."
"James..."
"Don't worry. I'm going to do it slowly." He put his lips around one of my nipples and lightly tugged.
God yes.
"Very slowly." His breath was hot against my skin as his fingers slipped below the waistline of my shorts. "You're so fucking wet, baby." He sunk a finger deep inside of me.
"James," I moaned. It felt like forever since I had gotten to be with him, since I had gotten to feel this way.
He sucked hard on my nipple as his finger thrust deep inside of me.
I didn't want to wait another second. I couldn't possibly. I pushed my shorts and thong down my hips.
"Eager as always."
"Make love to me, James. I thought I'd never get another one of these moments. I thought I lost you. I need you, James. You have no idea how much I need you."
"I waited my whole life for you. I'll never leave you, Penny." He gently kissed my stomach.
He'll never leave us. Somehow his gesture made this moment even more intimate.
He leaned down and kissed the inside of my thigh.
"James please."
"I love when you beg me." He moved between my legs. "But you never need to beg. I'll always give you what you want." He leaned forward, pressing his erection against me. "Always, Penny." He slowly slid his length inside of me.
I let my fingers dig into the muscles of his back.
He groaned as he thrust deep inside of me. "God, I've missed you."
"I've missed you too." I grabbed both sides of his face and brought his lips to mine.
For the first time in a long time, there was no urgency in his kisses. Just passion. Just a need that matched my own.
He grabbed my thigh and began to slide in and out of me a little faster.
I should have told him to slow down, but I couldn't make him stop. I was too caught up in the moment. All I knew was that I wanted him closer to me. I wanted to feel him all around me. I wrapped my legs around his waist.
He buried his face in my neck. "You drive me crazy, baby."
I grabbed a fistful of his hair as he slammed into me harder.
"I'll never get enough of you." He shifted so that he was staring down at me. "You're so beautiful."
"Don't stop. Please don't stop." I ran my fingers down his muscular arms. I loved every inch of this man. All of him.
He smiled down at me. "I love you, Penny. I love you with everything that I am."
I looked up at the man above me. The man I loved. The man I'd do anything for. "James." I put my hand on his chest. His heart was beating so fast. "I waited my whole life for you too. I love the man that you are. I love everything about you. And I love the way you love me." I put my feet on the edge of the bed and titled my hips up.
"Fuck." His fingers dug into my hips as his lips met mine again.
I poured my heart into this man's hands. And I didn't regret a single second of our time together. Everything that we had been through just made me appreciate him even more. My life was dull and gray before he
came along. And now? My life was an explosion of colors.
He thrust into me hard.
So fucking explosive.
He kissed my neck, my collarbone, my breasts as he drove me to the edge of oblivion. "Come for me, my beautiful wife."
I wrapped my legs around him again as his hand slid to my ass. I could feel myself tightening around him. I was so close.
And then he came. I felt the familiar warmth spread up into my stomach and let myself let go.
"James!"
"God, Penny."
Explosive was definitely the only word to describe it. He was the one doing all the work yet I was completely out of breath.
He collapsed beside me. "I'm out of shape."
I rolled onto my side and perched my head up in my hand so I could look down at him. "No. You're healing."
"Was that the wedding night you dreamed of?"
"Better. James, tonight was perfect." I intertwined my fingers in his and smiled as he pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed it.
"I can't believe that we're married." He kissed the back of my hand again.
"Married and expecting. Time flies."
James looked down at my stomach and then back up to me. "You can't tell at all. No one would ever guess that you're pregnant."
"Will you still love me when my stomach is huge?"
"I love you more each and every day. So...yes." He leaned over top of me and kissed my stomach.
The position made his tattoo visible. I reached up and ran my finger along the pulse lines of it. "When did you get this?" I had been wondering when he had gotten it the whole time he was in his coma.
"The morning after our fight."
"You got it when you thought we were done? Why?"
"Because even if you left me, it didn't make it less true. My world changed when you walked into it. For the better."
"James. That just makes it that much sweeter."
He smiled. "I forgot that you hadn't seen it yet."
"I have already seen it."
He raised his left eyebrow. "Did you rape me in the hospital?"
I laughed and pushed his chest so that he was lying down again. "No. I wanted to find it. I just stripped you a little, that's all. And just for the record, you started to wake up right after that. Apparently you just missed having my hands all over you."