by Rossi, Carla
“Nope, never built a bike. Not to be rude or anything, but why are you asking me? What did Rocky say?”
“I haven’t asked him yet. I’m going to, but with us having so much to learn about each other, it hasn’t come up. He obviously hasn’t been able to ride a traditional bike in a while so I was curious about the parts. Thought maybe you guys had a side business.”
Max shoved the last of a brownie in his mouth and dusted off his hands. “Nope.”
“Thanks.” She turned toward the table. “That brownie looked good. I need me one of those.”
“Wait,” he said. “Let me ask you something.”
“No, Rebekah is not pressing assault charges.”
“You’re hilarious, you know that? Rocky went and married himself a comedian.”
“You were saying?”
“Speaking of cycling parts, has he ever mentioned hand cycling to you?”
“No, why?”
“It’s come up in a couple of our conversations but he never elaborates. That buddy of his who helped us put the hand controls in his new truck does it. Rock must have participated in the sport at one time, but he sure avoids the subject now.”
Gia cuffed him on the arm. “Well duh, Max.”
“What’d I do?”
“Think about it. We’re talking about the same thing. Those aren’t bicycle parts at the house, they’re hand cycle parts. That makes more sense.”
Max scratched his head. “You said bicycle.”
“And you really couldn’t make the leap? Wow. I know Rebekah has you distracted but... Wow.”
“You’re the genius who thought you were looking at bicycle parts.”
“How many times a week do women commit physical violence against you?”
“That’s rhetorical, right?”
“Concentrate, Max. Rocky’s a former competitive athlete and he’s stronger than an ox. Hand cycling must have been a great outlet for him. Wonder why he quit?”
Max looked past her. “Who’s that?”
Gia turned and waved. “Oh hey! That’s my parents. Mom, Dad, over here. I want you to meet Max.”
“Hello, pumpkin,” her father said and hugged her tight. He seemed less tense than the last time they saw each other. Maybe she was the one who was less tense.
“This is Rocky’s best friend, Max. He’s in ministry, too. He’s heading up the new youth service at church.”
Max’s handshake looked too eager. Like he was meeting a super hero. “Good to meet you Pastor Vincent. Gia gave me your recent book about marketing the modern church. Good stuff.”
“Thanks.”
Gia wanted to listen, but her mother had already dragged her off.
“You look fantastic, honey. Marriage and pregnancy suits you.”
“Shhh... Not everyone knows that yet.”
“I know, but I’m so excited. I brought you some maternity clothes. They’re in the trunk. They’re much cuter than they used to be. I had to wear tents because that’s all they made. Baby bumps are far more fashionable today. Where’s Rocky?”
“He’s in the pool. I need to check in with him. Bev’s been waiting for you. She’s probably back in the kitchen.”
“See you in a bit, then.”
Gia found Rocky sitting at the edge with kids all over him. They were taking turns begging him to launch them into the water.
“You’re popular,” she said.
“Yeah, this is a new sport. Kid tossing. Who knew?”
“I was looking forward to playing with you in the water. Guess I’ll have to wait my turn.”
“I have to get out a while, but I’ll meet you back here. Hey George,” he called to one of the boys, “get my wheels. I gotta go to the bathroom.”
“Is it necessary to yell that out to everyone?”
“Yes. What do you think would happen if I told them I was done for the day?”
“You are a genius,” she said.
“And you have been schooled. Can you believe it? I surprised the camp-counselor-slash-child-psychologist.”
“Not a licensed psychologist yet, but I am impressed. I’ll get you a towel.”
“OK. I’ll meet you back here later.”
“Can’t wait. It’ll be fun.”
It wasn’t fun.
At least not at first.
They’d tried to find some alone time, but as the sun set, the festivities ramped up. Traditional Greek music blared from the patio and there was some beautiful—and not so beautiful—dancing around the pool. Nick and Bev talked to the crowd about their son with tears in their eyes and Gia was invited to join in the Kalamatianos. Her parents tried, too. Candi got pictures of everything, including her and Rocky in the line together, maneuvering his chair to keep up.
It was past midnight before the crowd thinned. Their parents talked quietly in the kitchen while sleeping children sprawled across lounge chairs and teens crashed the hot tub. Shade, Candi, and the rest of the band headed home to sleep before reporting to church in a few short hours, and Rebekah left with a hug and a near-black eye.
Then Gia and her husband went for a late night swim.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. They floated there together, no chair between them, only water, fluid movement, and his strong embrace. They made their way to the steps where Rocky arranged his legs so she could sit between them on the step below.
It started innocently enough. He gathered her hair to one side so he could kiss her neck and graze his teeth across her earlobe. His warm breath on her cool skin started little fires inside her. She turned to kiss him too and soon the chemistry was crackling to the point of shorting out the pool lights.
But what did he want? He seemed to enjoy kissing and cuddling with her, but he also packed her off to her own room every night. He was giving her space, she knew that, but she was ready to close the gap and wondered: how does a wife tell her husband she’s ready to take it to the next level? Was there a marriage handbook for that?
She pulled away to meet his gaze after one particularly steamy kiss. “Uh... Rocky? Do you want to go home and fool around?”
He pushed her forward and started dragging himself out of the pool. “OK.”
She laughed. “Let me see if your mom needs any help before we leave.”
“No. We’ll come back tomorrow. Get in the truck.”
“We at least need to get into dry clothes.”
“Too much trouble for me. I’ll put on a towel and a t-shirt. But you go ahead. Hurry up.”
Gia made sure his chair was where he needed it and slipped through the patio door and to the bathroom. She could hear him saying their good-byes and agreeing to meet her parents for brunch. It was comical the way he rushed the conversation.
She peeled off her swimsuit and dug in the striped bag for her panties. There was a twinge of a cramp in her abdomen, so slight and insignificant she would not have noticed had she not been alone and naked and hastily trying to get her feet in the proper leg-holes of her underwear. She stood and felt nothing else but a warm trickle on the inside of her thigh.
“No...” she said softly. “This is not a big deal.” She rapidly plucked tissues from the nearby box. “I read this could happen and still be OK.” But as she moved, another large drop of blood splattered onto the marbled tile floor.
She hurried to clean up and dress and left through the front door to wait by the truck.
Rocky soon followed. “I didn’t see you come out.”
“Unlock the door, please.”
“What’s the matter?”
“I don’t know. I need to go to the emergency room.”
16
Rocky pulled Gia’s fresh change of clothes out of the striped tote and laid them on the end of the emergency room bed. He attempted to wake her. “Gia,” he said and jostled her arm. “We need to get you dressed. They’re kicking us out of here so you can go home and rest.”
“I’m awake,” she said, but didn’t open her eyes. “My mouth is full of
cotton.”
“That’s the medicine. Here’s your water.”
She bolted to a sitting position. Her eyes were wild with fear like a feral cat he once had trapped under his grandmother’s porch. “I said no drugs. My body can’t take any more drugs.”
“Settle down, Gia. Remember what the nurse said? It was nothing more than an over-the-counter-strength antihistamine to help you rest. You refused the antianxiety meds they offered you.”
“I remember.” She drank the whole bottle of water and rummaged for her clothes. “What time is it?”
“Ten AM.”
“My parents are expecting us for brunch.”
Rocky tossed aside the hospital gown she’d shed and dropped her sandals on the floor beside the bed. “I delayed that.”
“What did you tell them?”
“I told them you weren’t feeling well and that they should go ahead and eat and we’d see them after. That will buy us some time to get home and figure out what you want to say to people.”
She stopped moving. Her shirt hung around her neck as if she were suddenly too tired to find the armholes.
“What is there to say? My baby is gone and it’s my fault.”
“No, don’t say that. You heard what the doctor said. Nothing you did or didn’t do caused this. At this stage, something was developmentally wrong and your body is taking care of itself.”
“I know what everyone says,” she snapped. She fought with her shirt. “It’s a natural occurrence. The pregnancy was not viable, whatever that means. Go home and rest, there’s nothing more we can do here. Let us know if you run a fever or start hemorrhaging. Follow up with your doctor. No reason why you can’t try again.”
She looked as though she wanted to jump from the bed. He rolled close enough to block her.
“Stop right there. The nurse is coming back to help you up,” he said. “You could be woozy. They have to put you in a wheelchair to take you out of here.”
She fell back against the plastic pillow and covered her eyes. “How do women bear this, Rocky?”
He didn’t know. It hurt on every level and there was nothing he could do. He fought back his own tears and reached out to comfort her.
Gia squeezed his hand. “Did you hear what that nurse said?”
“Which one?”
“The one who brought me that blanket from the warmer. She said this process was going to be like having a bad period. She was nice and all, but a bad period? Yesterday my baby was a person. A pink, fig-sized person with a beating heart. And now she’s a bad period? What am I supposed to do with that? When anyone else dies in this hospital the chaplain comes, but I lost my baby in the ER while a drug addict had a bad trip next door and there’s nothing, Rocky. There’s nothing. She’s just...gone.”
“Listen to me, Gia. We don’t need a chaplain. We have each other and we have our faith. We can pray. We can pray right now.”
She pulled the sheet to her eyes and used it to soak up tears as she nodded. “Yes, pray.”
“We’re going to pray,” he said again, “and then we’re going to get out of here and rest and talk to our parents and pray some more. I have your instructions and a couple prescriptions to help you relax and sleep—”
“I don’t want them.”
“That’s fine. They’ll be there if you need them.”
“All I need is out of here.”
“I know. We’re going.”
She tugged her shorts up her legs and squirmed in the bed until she’d snapped them closed. She eased off the side. “Where is that nurse?”
“Don’t get up,” he said again.
“I’m not getting up. I’m sliding into your lap. I can’t stay in this bed another minute.”
She landed in his arms, pale and unstable, clinging to him.
“You should pray now,” she said, “but don’t bother telling me about God’s will or about Romans 8:28 and how all things work together for good. I know all that, but I don’t want to hear it today.”
“Shhh... I know.” He stroked her hair and ran his hands along her cold, bare arm.
“Rocky?”
“Yes?”
“Nothing has ever hurt this bad.”
“It’s a loss, Gia. We were excited and something bad happened. It’s sad.”
“I miss that little pink fig,” she sniffed. “It surprises me how much.”
“Why?”
“We hardly knew each other.”
17
Rocky smelled coffee as he exited the shower. He didn’t drink a lot of it, but every once in a while it hit the spot. Today might be one of those days.
He got ready for work and entered the kitchen. Gia sat at the table with her Bible, her journal, and the extra-large mug his father used when he drank coffee there.
“That smells good.”
“It tastes good, too. I’d been missing it. Now I can drink it again.” Her faint smile completely disappeared. She paused, and then started to get up. “I’ll get you some.”
“No, I can get it.”
She’d already set a cup and spoon out for him, along with the sugar. His heart rate accelerated at her thoughtfulness.
He joined her at the table. There, too, she’d already set out his bowl for cereal. “Why are you up already?”
“I’m going to work today.”
He was afraid of that. He knew she was itching to do something besides wander around the house with him and talk about insignificant current events and the mindless movies they found on television. She had to be tired of his fussing and everyone else’s concern, but no one knew what else to do. They wanted to take care of her.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“The doctor said to give it a couple days and I have. I don’t have any of the issues they warned me about, and I’m not cramping or anything. Besides, I told my boss I’d check on Ty. He’s counting on me.”
Rocky poured cereal into the bowl. She’d mentioned her work responsibilities a lot. Helping Ty was her way of moving forward, but was she up for it?
“You never know what they’re going to ask you to do. You’re on your feet most of the day. You can’t play strenuous games yet or—”
“I know. And think about it. They didn’t know I was pregnant, and I was able to avoid lifting heavy things and the basketball court. I can continue to do that until I’m completely well.”
He nodded. “I... I’m only worried about what the doctor said about excessive bleeding.”
“I think I’d know if I was having a problem, Rocky, and I’d rather not talk about that at the breakfast table.”
“Sorry. I’m concerned for your safety. I know you can take care of yourself.”
“Thank you. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, don’t ever think I’m not extremely grateful.”
He dropped his spoon. “Why does this sound like we’ve taken ten giant steps backwards?”
She closed her journal and pushed her coffee cup away. “I was going to talk to you about this tonight.”
He was scared. Really scared. At first, they’d pulled together. They were in pain, but they were in sync. Now she’d put distance back between them. He could see it, feel it, and almost taste it. He knew for certain he could not handle it.
“Spit it out, Gia, what’s on your mind?”
“I was wondering what you want to do next.”
“What do you mean?”
“This marriage. I can’t blame you if you don’t want to continue this arrangement. It was based on the pregnancy and the fact that the marriage would be mutually beneficial for both of us.”
“You need to stop right there.”
“I’m not trying to start a fight or upset you, Rocky. I only want to let you know I understand if you want to get out of this somehow because everything’s changed.”
“Everything has not changed. It’s still you and me. I told you all along I had more than one reason to marry you.”
<
br /> “But the child was a big part of that. I saw how excited you were. I watched you with the kids at that party. You need to be a dad and that’s not happening now.”
“Maybe not in January like we thought, but...I don’t know what to say to you. What kind of a man do you think I am?”
“You’re a wonderful man. The best. That’s why I want you to be happy, and I’ve failed to live up to my end of the bargain. You deserve better.”
It took a lot to make him mad.
That pretty much did it.
His fist came down hard on the table. He knew the power behind his fist. He knew never to use it in anger, but suddenly he was striking the surface, accentuating each bitter-sharp word.
“I can’t. Believe. We are back. To this.”
She was frozen in her chair, clearly too scared or too stunned to react. The cereal bowl had bounced to the floor, a clear casualty. The coffee mugs didn’t fare well either.
An ugly mess, an ugly situation, an ugly outburst.
She absently reached for the dishtowel on the counter nearby.
“Don’t you dare clean this up,” he said. “I’ll get it later.” He swiped milk off his arm. “Whatever you want is fine with me, Gia. I don’t think you’re concerned about what I want anyway. Maybe it’s about what you want. Maybe you want out because you don’t need me anymore.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Otherwise, it’s clear I can’t convince you how I see you or how others see you. I can’t show you your own self-worth. Only God can do that and help you finally erase whatever baggage you carry around that makes you think you’re so unlovable. And if I’ve failed to convey to you how I feel about you, then I don’t know what to do because I really tried to show you.”
He left the house so fast, the door stood open behind him. It took him seconds to get in the truck, stow his chair, and race to the end of the block. He pulled over and rubbed the side of his hand as he rested his phone on his shoulder and waited for an answer. Max could be immature and distracted at times, but that’s because he worked so much with the youth—it was a prerequisite. Still, he was a good friend. A sturdy friend. A spiritual friend.
“Max. I need prayer.”
“Is Gia OK?”