I slide my hand across his back, and my fingers dig into the fabric of his jacket. His kisses move up my neck and to my ear, where he traces the slope with his lips. “You drive me crazy,” he says desperately, as if he’s begging me for permission.
“So do something about it,” I say boldly.
He doesn’t waste another second. In one swift motion, he rolls me underneath him and runs his hand down the length of me, as if he’s exploring me for the first time. He kisses me hard, opening my mouth with his, showing me just how bad he wants me. His hand drifts back up my thigh, over my waist, and then slides under the hem of my shirt.
His touch is a live wire. My stomach tightens reflexively, and then tingles as his hand trails further and further along my skin. All I can do is hang on and arch to show him that I don’t want this to end. Kiss him deeper and with more passion than I’ve ever felt before. I feel myself slipping further and further into desire, until he’s cupping my breast and his thumb is taking me to places I’ve never been before.
My eyes squeeze shut as he swallows my moan, and then his kisses stop as his whole body tightens and presses against mine. We’re both shuddering, both riding the same wave of hunger for more. With his eyes on mine, his hand makes its way back down my stomach and in through the back of my pants. I lift up as he squeezes my backside, pulling my hips closer against his. His lips are so unbearably close, hovering just over top of mine, and all I want to do is kiss them, feel them.
I try to kiss him but he pulls back, a mischievous smile playing over his lips.
“Not yet,” he says, his voice trembling with lust. “Not until I’ve turned you inside out with desire. Not until I’ve learned every inch of your skin and where every special spot that drives you crazy is located, because I need to drive you crazy the way you do me. I need to see that look in your eye I know is for me only. The look only my touch can get out of you.”
He blinks and I bite my lip, sure that I’ll never be able to leave this room. I don’t want to, because I’m scared that I’ll never experience a moment like this ever again. A moment this full of passion and firsts. A moment where the person I was yesterday becomes naïve to the person I am right now.
His lips press against my stomach. His fingers find the button to my pants. And then he unclasps them, keeping his eyes locked with mine.
I can’t catch my breath. Every cell in my body is alive. Every second of this is delicious torture.
He lifts up just enough to let me slip out of my jacket, and then I slide his down and throw it across the room. Swiftly, he pulls my shirt up over my head, and then waits for me to do the same to him.
I stop him before he can unclasp my bra.
He sits back in confusion, as if he’s trying to find the point where he misread what I wanted. Searching my face like he’s trying to gauge whether or not I want to stop.
But that’s not what I want.
I reach behind me, and with a deep breath, unclasp it. The moment air strikes my bare chest, I take in a sharp breath. His eyes devour me, and I don’t shy away. With him, embarrassment doesn’t exist. It’s a made-up word with no definition. It’s a monster he’s slain long ago.
“You’re the most incredible, most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he says with more emotion than I can process. More love, need, and desire than I think I can take without exploding from the inside out.
He pulls me back underneath him as if I’m the most fragile thing he’s ever handled. Slides my pants down the rest of the way, still keeping his lips so dangerously close to mine. I close my eyes as his mouth drifts downward and slides over each of my breasts. My fists clench the sheets and my toes dig into the bed. Fireworks explode behind my eyes and still, it’s not enough. He’s not close enough.
“Jaxen,” I say desperately.
He lifts his head. Brings his mouth over top of mine. Kisses me slowly, deeply, so passionately that all rationality has left me. Kisses me as if the world is minutes from its destruction and this is the only place he wants to be.
It’s all I can do to hang on, to not slip off the world and fall into an abyss of stars. His kisses move to my neck as his hand slides down past my stomach. I don’t stop him. I know where this is going. Somewhere I’ve never been before, and it’s never felt so right. Every inch of me is awake and present, yearning for all that he has to offer.
The moment he touches me, my eyes pop open.
“There it is. There’s that look,” he says, smiling as if he’s touched the untouchable. His tongue dances with mine as he presses against me, beginning a rhythm that will surely drive me over the edge. I grab onto his back. Dig my fingers into his skin as my body arcs against him and demands more.
The pace grows and grows with every touch as our bodies move in sync. There’s no stopping it… no end to the mountain we’re climbing. He groans into my mouth, rubbing his lips against mine, and I know I’m drowning in all that is him. Pleasured chills rack my body as the peak approaches. His lips move down to my neck, back to my chest where they linger, pushing me further and further toward an explosion I can’t escape.
“I want you,” I admit, unashamed by the desperation in my voice. I tug on him, pulling him closer to me, and reach for the button on his pants.
He stops. Pulls his hips back a little.
He’s breathing like he’ll never find his sanity again. “Let me do this,” he says, barely hanging on, “because as much as I want to lose myself inside of you right now, because you have me that freaking twisted up, I want to enjoy this moment more. I want to make you cry out, Faye. I want to feel your body give in to me. Just let me have this first.”
His hoarse voice drips so heavily with desire. Enough to send another ripple of pleasure straight through me. His hands start to move again, and I swear I’m going to lose it. I close my eyes and give in because, in all honesty, I don’t want him to stop.
His mouth closes against mine as every single part of me tenses up before releasing, and he absorbs my cries of pleasures. He swallows them, shuddering against me as stars explode behind my eyes. I can’t catch an even breath. I can’t keep my heart from beating like a bass drum. My skin shudders from the quake he left behind.
He’s still kissing me, so softly, as my body relaxes back into a state of calm I’ve never felt before. His hand slides up to my waist, and he squeezes my flesh. His eyes are clenched shut, his chest sending tingles along my skin every time it touches against mine. “Damn, Faye. Never in my life have I ever wanted anything as much as I want you right now.”
I reach for the sheet to cover me, but he stops my hand.
“Just let me look at you for a moment longer.” His eyes travel over every inch of my body, and I’ve never felt so brazen than in that moment. “You’re so ridiculously sexy,” he says softly, huskily. His desire is so achingly clear, and all I want to do is ease him of it. He trails a finger along the outside of my breast, slowly, teasingly, and chills rush along my skin. “Amazing. Perfect. Beautiful. Mine,” he declares, sealing each word with a kiss I feel all the way to my toes. “And as soon as we’re alone again, we’re going to finish what we started.”
I bite my lip and force every bit of what I’m feeling into the depths of my eyes. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”
BY THE TIME WE’RE BOTH dressed and ready, we’re already five minutes late. Jaxen gives me a grin that practically knocks my socks off, showcasing his hibernating dimples, and then rushes us to the elevator and out of the building. I’m grateful for the cool midnight air when we get outside. I want it to calm my skin, to remove the flush left behind from Jaxen’s touch.
But I can’t stop thinking of what just happened.
Of how far we just went and how close we were to closing the deal. Katie would die. She would flip out with excitement, and that thought alone stabs a needle through my heart, deflating the remnants of passion. His hand is wrapped around mine, pulling me down the cobblestone street, past the careening river that runs through
the city, and straight through the tall, hedged entrance to the park.
Jezi’s thoughts assault me the minute we step into the park. She knows. She felt the intensity. Cassie’s whispering something in her ear when we come around the corner. My cheeks betray me. Everyone’s eyes fall on us… examining, guessing.
I could kill her for speaking out about it.
“That was personal,” I send to Jezi telepathically, trying to calm my racing heart.
“Clearly not personal enough to keep it to yourself.”
“It’s not her fault, Jezi,” Jaxen says, picking up on our thoughts.
Her eyes land on him. There’s so much hate wrapped up inside of them, so much betrayal, it makes my heart ache.
“No?” she retorts out loud. “Because I remember asking you not to rub anything in my face. We had an agreement, and you went back on it.” She looks back at Cassie. “Explain to me how that’s not abandoning your partner. He left me the moment she walked into our lives.”
“Jezi,” Cassie says, looking awkwardly between us. The air becomes uncomfortably dense. I catch the corner of her eye and see the guilt hiding behind her soft words. She was in favor. She probably still is, but she knows it’s killing her best friend.
“Look, I’m all in favor of a cat fight. Lord knows it’s long overdue,” Weldon says as he steps between Jezi and me, his hands held up in mock surrender. “However, we have bigger fish to fry. And whether you know their business by accident or not, it still isn’t technically any of your business, Jezi,” he says, using air quotes. “You, of all people, should know that humiliation.”
Crimson replaces the light brown of her cheeks as she glares up at him. “How dare you—?”
He presses his finger against her lips and leans into her, wearing a dangerous grin. “I do dare, dear, and you like it. Also, I wouldn’t be against being your rag doll to work out all your frustrations on either.”
He pauses, and then smiles the moment her mouth drops open, like it’s the exact look he was going for.
“Now,” he says with pure satisfaction, “put your feisty temper away and save it for later.” When he removes his finger, her lips are sealed shut. Her eyes are scrunched, staring at him as if she’s never seen him before. Like the man before us is a new, maybe even… hot… stranger.
I bite back a smile.
He spins on his heel, giving Jaxen a knowing grin. I drop my gaze to hide the blush that blooms behind my cheeks. “Now that you’re on your way to manhood, can we please head out? We have to be up early for General Tightass, and I don’t want to be worn out.”
Gavin chuckles behind him. I wish there were a shadow I could find and hide in forever. I wish embarrassment would find another set of cheeks to live on. Daring to look at Jaxen, I find that his cheeks match mine, although his body is still held rigid and confident.
“So, what’s the plan?” Cassie asks as Gavin squats down to his duffel bag filled with weapons. He starts passing out guns and fluxes.
“Oh, wait… did all of you think you were coming?” Weldon asks, looking confused.
“Cut the shit, Weldon,” Gavin says.
Weldon cringes. “I’ve always hated that expression.” He drops his smiles. “But seriously, if she’s going to learn, she can’t have a bunch of people holding her hand, and I can only worry about moving so many through shadows. This will go a hell of a lot smoother if it’s just the three of us.”
“Three?” Jezi says defensively. “You can’t be serious. I’m his Witch, Weldon. He needs—”
“Correction,” Weldon says, cutting her off, “he needs you or Faye. And right now, he alone is her best chance at digging deep enough to break past that mental block she’s created for herself.”
Jezi curses under her breath, stalking off.
“Smooth,” Cassie says to Weldon before chasing after her.
Gavin walks up to Jaxen. “Take care of her, bro.”
Jaxen nods.
When they’re all gone, Weldon walks around the statue and stops just before a small shadow. “Same deal,” he says. “Line up and keep one hand on the person in front of you.”
“Isn’t this… dangerous?” I ask, suddenly unsure.
“Yes,” he says honestly, “but what other option do we have? You want to incriminate Clara? You want real training? This is real life, mouse. It’s scary and real, and more often than not… it’s dangerous. You have to take chances in order to get anywhere.”
“Where are you taking us?” Jaxen asks, his tone even and controlled, despite the awkwardness in the air. I’m staring straight ahead, trying to keep my heart calm and my bravery in check.
“You said she needed to dive in head first. You know me… I love killing two birds with one stone.” He flicks a glance at me over his shoulder. His golden eyes are liquid with mischief. “Hold your breath, mouse. And get your stones ready.”
TRAVELING THROUGH A SHADOW IS nothing like I remembered it. It’s one of those instances in life where in the moment, you swear you’ll never do it again, but then later down the road, your mind forgets the horrible details and you end up back in the same pain you were in before.
As the darkness pulls me in, it feels like it’s also pulling at the very essence of what makes me alive. Like all the joy, pain, love, hope… everything that makes me who I am, is gone. I’m numb. For a moment, I become lost and I’m trying so desperately to cage the woodpeckers hammering away inside my chest.
But then Jaxen latches onto my arm and yanks as hard as he can. The fog lifts like a clouded veil. “You okay?” he asks, searching my eyes with concern. Rubbing my cheeks with his rough thumbs.
I nod more times than necessary. Swallow the harsh lump in my throat, because I didn’t expect to be standing in my parent’s living room. I didn’t expect for my home to still smell like my home, even after all the items had been boxed up and the furniture had been covered with white sheets. I feel like I’m standing in the middle of an old movie theater, watching memories pass across the screen, with no way to turn them off.
“Why did you bring me here?” I ask, my voice distant, strained.
“This isn’t a hunt, Weldon. This isn’t what we agreed upon,” Jaxen says tightly.
“No one agreed on anything,” Weldon says, brushing Jaxen’s words away. “You asked me to help, well, this is me helping. Here’s your lead. Your parents started this mission. They discovered who the culprit was,” Weldon says.
“Yes, but any evidence they had would have been removed by now, especially if it was Clara behind it,” Jaxen says, like he’s two seconds from choking the life out of Weldon.
“I’ve thought of that already,” Weldon points out. He moves to one of the couches and yanks the sheet off, sending dust through the air, then plops down on it. “But I also know that every good Watchman doesn’t leave their evidence out in the open. I was just hoping that bringing Faye back would jar some memories stuck inside that pretty head of hers. Maybe something about where Russell and Mary would keep stuff they wouldn’t want just anyone finding.”
I see my mother sitting in the very spot Weldon now sits. The soft lamplight behind her, brightening the pages she scribbles on. The pencil tucked in her hair and the pen in her hand, fervently moving across the pages of her Grimoire. If I close my eyes tight enough, I can almost smell her perfume. I can almost feel her hands wrapped around me, holding me together.
“My mother’s Grimoire,” I force out, swallowing repeatedly but never once removing the lump in my throat. I close my eyes and focus on what it looked like, how it felt, what it smelled like, and manifest it into my hands. I don’t even breathe when I open my eyes. My heart feels like cracked porcelain. My face feels splintered together with forced strength. I haven’t opened it since I was in the Academy. “She was always writing in it. Always putting things away with spells.”
I walk over to the couch and have to squash the memory of my dad sitting near the lamp, sharpening his flux as I sit down. Jaxen follows
my steps. Stands close by, watching… waiting.
I swallow hard and close my eyes again, letting myself connect with the book. Show me, I tell it, pushing my intent into its magic. The pages begin to lift and turn until they come to rest on a page three-quarters of the way through. My mother’s handwriting is all over it.
“It’s spelled with a cloaking spell. I can feel it.” There’s a blank page next to it. I look up at Jaxen, and then over to Weldon. They both nod, waiting for me to say the words to bring forth what my mother hid.
I say the spell and, slowly, the words spread across the page in my mother’s familiar handwriting. My eyes can’t graze fast enough. I grip the edges of the book, forcing myself to blink… to breathe.
Faye,
If you’re reading this, that means what your father and I have feared has come to pass. It also means that you’ve been brought closer to the truth of what we discovered, and that you’ve discovered who you truly are. My vision was never that you were a Defect. That part, I lied about. I saw a path that would bring many hardships. Some, in fact, that I feared would break your heart. Please understand that we only kept the truth from you to protect you… to keep you from the evils in this world.
But we were wrong.
Your father and I were assigned by Elder Maddock and High Priest Seamus to investigate another Elder who they believed was conspiring against the Coven with the intent on rebuilding the Darkyn Coven. They were right, only I don’t think they will want to hear the name we discovered.
Clara Ravensmoore.
Tonight, we followed one of the Witches involved with her. In his home, we found plans to dig up a certain dagger that has the potential to start a revolution no one is prepared for. Part of this dagger is something that we protect, kept inside the cover of our Grimoire. It has been passed down from generation to generation, and it was my intention to tell you after you graduated from the Academy, should my vision come true.
You must never join the blade together. You must prevent Clara and Bael from acquiring these pieces. Once together, Mourdyn’s rising will become inevitable. You will have to finish what you start. Below, you’ll find an address to a warehouse. It’s where we discovered Clara. She is co-conspiring with Bael, and this warehouse is their headquarters. We intend to tell Maddock after your Culling, but if you’re reading this, then we never had the chance.
Evernight (The Night Watchmen Series Book 2) Page 21