“Why can’t I?” He cocked a brow. “It’s an honest living.”
“Because you’re too smart.” Too sexy. Too much of a mystery. She suspected there was much more to him hidden beneath all that stoic exterior.
“I’m not. I just happen to be a good judge of character—both human and equine.”
“Smart,” Lily said again. “Admit it. There’s more to you than meets the eye.” And a story, too, she’d bet.
“Not all smart people control their destinies.” He pointed a finger at Lily. “Not everyone is cut out to be Elias Blackwell.”
“Oh? Why is that?”
Conner shook his head.
If Lily wanted details on the Blackwells before they reached their destination, she was going to have to get them out of Pepper.
CHAPTER FIVE
BIG E HAD suggested Clark’s OK Corral in Elko for Pepper’s Western experience because they offered historic gun rentals, specifically six-shooters. He’d thought Pepper’s Western-themed wedding needed a real dose of Western.
Personally, Conner didn’t think the college-age young ladies had a strong yen for shooting. They were on a quest for photos that were shareable on their social media accounts. And they recorded everything—cars broken down on the side of the highway, shopping trips, conversations, Conner driving. Stuff no one but the duo cared about.
When did I become so jaded?
Sadly, he knew the exact date and time to answer that question. Fifteen years ago last June.
His mother’s car accident had gutted him. A semitruck had plowed into her out by the interstate. Her body was swollen from what the doctors had called trauma. And both her legs were broken, reconstructed with metal rods. She had more tubing coming out of her than a newfangled truck engine.
Overnight he’d aged twice his eighteen years.
“I need to see Joe Thompson,” his mama had told Conner from her hospital bed after lifesaving surgery.
Conner shook his head. Joe was the only attorney in town. “You’re not dying.” He clutched his girlfriend Tanya’s hand all the same, grateful that she’d come with him, because only the presence of an audience kept him from falling apart. “You don’t need a will, Mom.”
“That’s right,” she rasped, throat dry since they’d just removed her breathing tube. Even with her swollen features, Conner recognized the determined glint in her eye. “I won’t need a will if I give the ranch to you outright. You’re the last Hannah. It’ll be yours someday anyway.”
“I don’t want it.” He’d just graduated from high school two days ago. He’d spent the night of graduation drinking with his buddies out by Falcon Creek, happy to be free of textbooks and tests. His future had seemed limitless, awaiting his decision. “You’re going to bounce back. We don’t need Mr. Thompson.”
“I won’t be able to run the ranch for months.” She’d drawn a wheezy breath, one that sent the machines hooked up to her beeping like crazy.
A nurse poked her head in the door. “Don’t upset her or you’ll have to leave.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he’d said to both the nurse and his mother, accepting his childhood was over. “I’ll get Mr. Thompson up here.” And when he and Tanya walked out of the hospital later, he’d turned to her and said, “Wanna get married?” Because he’d always known he’d run the ranch someday, have a wife and settle down. Might just as well start now.
And as simple as that, it was done.
If only running the Rocking H was that simple.
As soon as Conner parked the motor home in Elko, Pepper and Natalie skipped down the steps and headed for the shooting range, the exterior of which was painted to look like a Wild West saloon. They paused out in front for some selfies, calling to Lily to join them.
Conner offered Lily a hand down. “Have you ever shot a gun before?”
“No. And I’ve never had the inclination to, either.” She exited at a snail’s pace, walking carefully in her new cowboy boots. She wore leggings, not jeans, and a red pullover tunic, not a button-down.
“Be careful.” He was slow letting her go.
“Come on, Lily.” Pepper called from the front door. When Lily joined her, Pepper linked their arms as if they were the closest friends. “Every year since I was eleven, Grandma Dot took me to a local shooting range for my birthday. She used to tell me stories about her Western wedding and life on the ranch. She’s a cowgirl even though she lived in the Las Vegas suburbs until she remarried Big E. I wish I were marrying a cowboy like she did, but Ken is an insurance salesman. It’s a growth industry because everybody needs insurance.”
Conner supposed there was truth to that.
“Did Dorothy ride down the aisle?” Lily asked.
“Oh, yes. She’s the inspiration of my life plan. I want to be just like her.”
Natalie drew her imaginary guns for the next photo. “She’s a dentist?”
“I said inspiration, not a blueprint.” Pepper had a way of giving a set-down without losing that bubbly smile of hers.
The women posed for a few more photos. Lily had a nice smile. She seemed genuinely fond of Pepper, laughing at her enthusiastic observations and seemingly not at all bothered by her own deception.
Not for the first time since the misunderstanding of Lily’s relationship to the groom, Conner wondered how Big E would want him to play the situation. Someone was going to get offended when they learned they’d been duped, and he could guarantee Lily would receive blowback by pretending to be Ken’s cousin. But what could he do? He hadn’t corrected Pepper’s impression. Now he was just as guilty as Lily was. Because her deception was good for him. It kept her on the ride to Montana.
“Hurry up, Conner.” Pepper led the women inside. “You’re paying.”
He certainly was. He only hoped he didn’t pay later, too.
The interior of the shooting range continued the Old West theme. The walls were covered in barn wood. A player piano filled the room with music. It was plain corny. Except for the requisite slot machines, which were plain tacky.
“Grandma Dot always says a woman has to know more about the world than her man if she’s gonna defend her heart.” Pepper practically skipped to the counter, Natalie in her wake. “Grandma Dot’s a Renaissance woman. Big E told me he can’t put anything over on her.”
Lily’s steps slowed.
“Second thoughts?” Conner asked, catching up to her.
“Nope.” Lily shook her head. “Thirds.”
The women were given sound-canceling headphones, safety glasses, a box with bullets and an unloaded six-shooter, and then assigned a shooting lane. They received instruction on gun safety, and then were shown how to load, aim and fire.
“You’re not shooting?” Lily asked Conner.
“No, ma’am. I’m just the help.” For the first time in two years, his position annoyed him. It looked like fun. Conner took his place against the back wall.
Almost immediately, Pepper and Natalie began shooting.
Lily hemmed and hawed. Finally, she flagged down the gun trainer and shouted something Conner didn’t catch. The man nodded and pressed a button so her target—a Wild West gunslinger—slid along the pulley to her. He returned a moment later with a replacement target—a traditional series of concentric circles.
“I couldn’t kill a fly,” Lily shouted to Conner by way of explanation.
She made him want to forget that he was someone else’s employee. She made him want to remember what it was like to walk tall as the owner of a ranch in Falcon Creek. She made him want things he hadn’t dreamed of in years.
His other two charges were striking poses and shooting their guns without hitting their targets. What they lacked in accuracy, they made up for with enthusiasm.
Lily fidgeted. Shifting her feet, spinning the empty chamber. She picked up a bullet and just as quickly dropped i
t. She bent to retrieve it and lost her balance in those stiff new boots. She banged into the wall of the shooting station headfirst.
“I got you.” Conner rushed forward to help her up, grabbing the stray bullet in the process.
“Wow!” Lily shouted. “What a kick.”
For a moment he thought she meant the impact of being in his arms. But that was just a small-town cowboy’s imagination. Most likely Lily was commenting on hitting her head. She gingerly touched her temple.
He made sure she was steady before dropping the bullet into her box and stepping back, sliding his hands into his back pockets. Lily Harrison was off-limits. He was just a broke cowboy doing a job.
Lily frowned at her gun.
He returned to her side and tapped her shoulder so she could see him speak. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Good.” She placed her gun back in the plastic box, looking relieved.
Conner led her away from the stations and out to a table near the player piano. He bought a couple of sodas and bags of chips. She didn’t reach for either, looking as down as she’d been yesterday.
He opened both sodas and chip bags, letting her choose what she wanted while he returned to the counter. He came back with a borrowed pen and a black-and-white picture postcard of a woman wearing a buckskin outfit and holding a shotgun.
“I’m not sure I have anything more to say to my family.” Lily smiled weakly at the postcard. “What just happened is the reason my dad pushed Danny to marry me.”
“Because you can’t load a gun?” Conner deadpanned. She was looking like her finger dexterity was the end of the world.
She lifted her chin. “So much in the world today requires small, deliberate finger movements.”
“You’ve blown this all out of proportion.” Or perhaps that was her dad and that groom of hers.
“Normally, I’m fine.” Lily curled her fingers. “Toss me a ball and I’ll catch it. Give me an oar and I’ll row. But there are times when I want to do something—tie a shoe, braid my hair, pull a rip cord on a parachute—and it’s like a communication failure between my brain and my fingers.”
“I don’t see—”
“I’m an adventure tour guide,” she said, as if this explained everything, using the same tone of voice his mother had employed in the hospital when she’d asked for her lawyer over a decade ago.
Conner switched tracks from argument to tease. “I thought we agreed you and I are more like camp counselors.” He’d downgrade himself from ranch hand if she’d go easy on herself.
“I take people into the wilderness and on the water.” Lily raised her voice, staring at the ceiling instead of him. “My dad—Rudy—is deathly afraid that my disability—”
“Now, that’s taking it a little too far.” It was Conner curling his fingers now. “You aren’t disabled.”
“That my disability—” she repeated, shaking her head “—will end up with me hurt or someone else...worse off.”
“Poppycock.” That was one of Big E’s polite conversational swear words. “Take a look in the rearview mirror. Look at all you’ve accomplished.”
“I’m quite good at self-reflection, thank you very much.” Lily held out her arms. “I can tell you exactly who I am. I’ve always been the sister who can’t sit still. The one who can’t refuse a dare or a challenge. I don’t like being inside watching TV. I can’t bear the thought of working in a cubicle. And when someone tells me I have to live my life with kid gloves, it’s like pressing my go button.” Her hands dropped to her sides, bringing her shoulders down with them. “But Rudy has a point. I could be endangering my clients.”
Rudy was going about this all wrong. Lily needed the space to fly, not a cage for her so-called safety. Wings clipped, she’d wither. A part of her already had.
“And do you know what the worst of it is?” she continued. “His opinion makes me doubt my ability to be a mom.”
Conner didn’t know where the anger came from, but it filled him quicker than a rattler’s strike injected venom. “You dropped a bullet, Lily. A small bullet. You didn’t drop a baby.”
She studied the ceiling as if reading a script. “I can carry a baby. They’re not small like a pen or tweezers. But what about things a baby needs? Doses of medicine. Feeding with those small spoons. Releasing tiny childproof buckles on car seats.”
The anger morphed into concern. “Are you pregnant?” Because she had some valid concerns.
Let me do it myself. His mother’s voice slipped into his head.
“I’m not pregnant.” Lily shifted. “But Rudy’s right. I can’t be relied on to perform one hundred percent of anything.” She spoke in that tight, small voice. “I wish I could make him proud of me. I wish he’d be happy for the life I’ve chosen without feeling the need to arrange for someone to care for me.”
“This isn’t only about your wanting parental approval. You’re questioning the boundaries that define your life.” The same as he did on those days when Blackwell guests were annoying and he longed for a time when he’d been his own boss. “Why are you ruling out parenthood? It’s not like you need someone to help you get through daily life.” Said the man who was keeping an eye on her for the next few days. “Since my mom’s accident, she can’t walk unassisted. She has forearm crutches and a walker. She adjusted to life, the same way you have. The same way you’ll do if you have a baby. You haven’t let your fingers stop you from running your own business. Don’t let them stop you from starting a family when the time is right.”
The irony of his words wasn’t lost on him. He didn’t apply them to his own life. He’d let his failures define him. He’d retooled his life to keep his mother safe.
“Thank you, Conner. Your opinion means a lot to me.” Lily splayed her fingers on the tabletop, staring at her hands as if they caused her no end of disappointment. “I didn’t ask Danny if he wanted kids. I was too afraid of what I might hear.”
Anger returned. That guy was a selfish jerk.
“Since my mom died, Rudy has been trying to tie up all the loose ends, including me, as if he’s scared he’ll get hit by a bus or something and the five of us will be lost. He hasn’t been the same since we lost her.”
“He’s worried about the wrong things.” Conner was certain of it.
“Maybe. Maybe not. The day before Mom’s funeral, he just wouldn’t let up.” Lily kept her focus on something across the room, but in a way that had Conner doubting she saw anything. “Danny was going skydiving and he asked me to go.”
A chill swept over Conner, brought on by something she’d said earlier. “This is the part where you wanted to pull the parachute cord and—”
“Couldn’t,” she rasped before swallowing. “Luckily, Danny knows about my...lapses. He waited to pull his cord until I had. And when I didn’t, he dove into me to do the honors.” She rolled her shoulder and smiled ruefully. “Midair collisions tend to leave a mark. Danny broke my arm. But I can’t complain. He saved my life.”
“He very nearly killed you.” Conner wanted to howl that fact to the heavens. “He knew it, too.” Conner held up a fist, much the way he’d seen Lily do yesterday whenever she referred to her physical challenges. “And your father should have known his extreme protectiveness had the opposite effect on you.”
“It’s not like that.” But her retort lacked energy.
“It is and you know it. The more I learn about you, Lily, the more I’m glad Big E asked me to be sure you get safely to Montana. But where does that leave you? What are you going to say to your stepfather to defend your choices?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted, using her “I’m insignificant” voice. She palmed the postcard, got up and went outside.
In that moment Big E didn’t have to pay Conner double to take Lily to Montana. He didn’t have to pay him at all. Lily deserved a chance to make a life of her ow
n without being challenged by others, and that included the man who’d raised her. More than anything, Conner wanted to wipe that defeated expression from Lily’s face.
For good.
* * *
WHAT ARE YOU going to say to your stepfather to defend your choices?
Conner’s questions echoed in Lily’s head as she walked the perimeter of the parking lot. Despite the dry air and the merciless afternoon sun, she couldn’t get rid of the cold prickle along her skin, even when she noticed Conner periodically poking his head out the door to check on her.
What made her skittish? Tugged at her fears? She’d escaped a loveless marriage. The worst was over. She could go back at any time...if she was brave enough to face her family.
This trip to Montana was just a respite. Reality would intrude soon enough. Little would change. Lily would still have her business. Rudy would still pressure her to find another line of work and a man to take care of her. Her sisters would still worry about her heart being broken or her suffering some embarrassment because of her misfiring fingers. Danny probably wouldn’t talk to her anymore. He probably wouldn’t miss taking care of her, either.
Shouldn’t her canceled wedding result in a life-changing revelation? At the very least, she’d like to be able to say “I don’t need anyone” and be able to convince her family it was true.
She completed her parking lot circuit just as Pepper and Natalie burst through the doors.
“That was so fun!” Pepper flounced into Lily’s arms, shouting as if she still wore the sound-canceling headphones. “Conner said he’d be right out. He’s tipping the staff.”
Natalie stepped into the sunshine and slid on a pair of fashionable dark glasses. “He gave me the keys.” She shouted, too, and hurried to the RV, blond curls fluttering in the hot wind.
“Conner is so nice.” Pepper towed Lily toward the motor home. “He picked me up at the airport in Montana last time I visited Grandma Dot.”
“He’s responsible, all right.” Everyone relied on him—Big E, Conner’s mother, Lily. The urge to live up to Conner’s high standards vibrated up from her toes. The time had come to tell the truth. “Pepper, I—”
Montana Welcome (The Blackwell Sisters) Page 6